despite everything, its still you. tags to watch out for: #sh tw, #ed tw, #tw sui implied, #relapse tag (and both #tw self harm and #self harm tw in the past) мяне завуць Лёва ! Часам тут я паспрабую карыстацца АДК (Альтэрнатыўная і Дадатковая Комунікацыя - або AAC у англіскую мову.)
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Roommate annoyed @ me for something i did (expected to happen) but like greivously emotionally wounded sounding at it at that. It's not that big a deal ...
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#said the most biased person in the world to you but still . annoy me#we are never going to like each other lmao.#somehow he is generalizing [cats are literally Fine when downstairs] to [i don't give one flying fuck about cats]#like to be fair there is one (1) thing down there that's different that i didn't remember/realize but like. all you have to do to fix that#and also one of the three other things is close some doors???#or keep the cat door open. y'know that thing thats duct taped because somehow the lock can't be trusted#worry too much . also like he's verbally mean to the cats whenever he goes downstairs which i don't like#anywayyyyss it's fine we will hate each other forever and i will leave the door open when cats are down there so they can leave unassisted#or go down there unassisted also because i assume this extends to one cat per cat in basement. the PROBLEM with which is that#[...] it invites two cat per cat in basement. not a solution !#yes i am the asshole here in case you were wondering. but that does not make me less annoyed
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Good comp 😊 we are not talking about end of season nearing inescapable
#winterguard#winter guard#colorguard#color guard#what do you MEAN we only get this show for a handful more performances ..... what do you mean we can never do it again ..........#anyways i slid/fell coming off the floor at one point and i think it scraped my knee(?) a little ...#need a bandaid on that thang but i am already in bed#(makeup still on i might add! but in that case i literally just forgor.)#changed (1) in the mens (2) in the corner both of which are Wins although i did not like changing in the corner#had fun hanging out w/ friends but now i feel kindof sick so . bad. hope that goes away#99% certain our score went up as well!! yey
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Literally no winning if i'm unproductively mad it's embarrassing if i swear it's also embarassing. Like why did i do that ? Idk.
It's probably better that i'm not having a full on breakdown but like maaaan why'd you have to be so dramatic !!! Nobody cares.
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#winterguard#winter guard#colorguard#color guard#fumbled my important toss AGAIN but it was written off as a sail so there is that i guess.#and did fine in our run through...#the gym was REALLY hot 2day though lol. i laid down which was nice until i could feel the heat in my face & my glasses started to fog up#felt weird due to (i assumed) ear problems still but i thought about the timing & it might be shark week. have 2 check.#that would suck though ... i dont want to be Miserable:tm: at championships#ah no it is not in next weeks forecast#well idk then. maybe it was just the ear being blocked still...#it is better than last week! just ... still not normal#idk anyways. trying to sleep & my brain is sayinh «stop swearing when u mess up» like bestie this is the most i talk during practice. this#[...] could be a GOOD thing actually#(well; aside from the fact that i kindof hate how my voice sounds lol. like who is that)
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Trying 2 be the best this week &just got into bed NO stretch NO dance. Well there is always tomorrow
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#winterguard#winter guard#colorguard#color guard#+100 psychic damage on remembering how soon season is end#i wanted to do so many things... yet predictably did almost none of them.#i almost feel bad for wanting to have my free time back b/c i know im gonna miss it LOL#there will be parades ... and a next season ......#next season will not have my number one Understander Of My Specific Issues though so . idk how thats gonna turn out#i could be doing more (3 run throughs instead of one) but my non-music practice is back up to 3 of each so its not nothing anyways#uhm . idk what else. gotta eepys
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They should not have given us the week off i am the least locked in out of the entire season
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#winterguard#winter guard#colorguard#color guard#what if i exploded 💞💖💝#actually i called back about top sugery like 2+ months after my consult & the concept of possibly having to take another phone call#[...] is so reprehensible that i purposely ruined my sleep schedule to avoid it. I May Have A Problem .#wellll that and i re-sprained my finger. less bad than the first tins but still . bad.#AND the weather. augh#so basically i gotta lock the fuck in next week or i will be miserable 🤩#............ i am already miserable. maybe its just the sleep but this week has been so !)$*^&#idk . . .#i have to get to sleep earlier . so i should stop posting now
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@bug-bytes me when every guard is different:
Just curious if anyone knows - for jazz runs (/walks/walk+passe(??)) is the ball of the foot or the heel of the foot supposed to be on the ground on the count?
#:agony:#but like in a lighthearted way (?)#i guess i'll just go with something and if i'm wrong i'm wrong! we only spend a couple weeks on across the floors anyways#so if it needs fixed i'm sure it can't be that hard :)#... maybe i should practice both ways? haha
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:D 💜✨
Some notes from the comp:
1. I did fine. Not perfect. Fucked up a carve (???) but good enough. Tried to face front but, in practice, i do NOT think that actually happened lmao. Oh well! Not like the judges know where i'm supposed to be now.
2. I LOVE PERFORMING TO AN AUDIENCE this is not the only reason dayton was bad but i had people in the back instead of faceless fabric wall and it felt so much better performing to them & pretending they saw all my little hand signs. Championships don't have a back crowd again though so 💔💔💔
3. I got clipped twice!!! Once on my uniform & once on my bag while i was away ... i need to get out to The Store somehow & buy some clothespins so i can make more clips it's literally so fun lol. Idk what i'll do if i have some left over ... maybe only make like 12 or so at a time?
4. (Most important) we jumped ELEVEN POINTS from our dayton score. Granted it's our local circuit and not wgi, so it wasn't that dramatic from our previous competition in this circuit, but still. That's insane!!!
#no comment on closing of ribs ...#but ya i still have like 2 bracelets left from *last season* and it didn't really catch on in our local circuit either so it's ..#harder to approach people to give them away 😔#just in general too. i think that's why the clips work out better - more friendly to the socially awkward/anxious LOL
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Some notes from the comp:
1. I did fine. Not perfect. Fucked up a carve (???) but good enough. Tried to face front but, in practice, i do NOT think that actually happened lmao. Oh well! Not like the judges know where i'm supposed to be now.
2. I LOVE PERFORMING TO AN AUDIENCE this is not the only reason dayton was bad but i had people in the back instead of faceless fabric wall and it felt so much better performing to them & pretending they saw all my little hand signs. Championships don't have a back crowd again though so 💔💔💔
3. I got clipped twice!!! Once on my uniform & once on my bag while i was away ... i need to get out to The Store somehow & buy some clothespins so i can make more clips it's literally so fun lol. Idk what i'll do if i have some left over ... maybe only make like 12 or so at a time?
4. (Most important) we jumped ELEVEN POINTS from our dayton score. Granted it's our local circuit and not wgi, so it wasn't that dramatic from our previous competition in this circuit, but still. That's insane!!!
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#winterguard#winter guard#colorguard#color guard#problems i have personally are one the carve fuckup obvs but also like. when i try to stand up straight my spine is like... opposite c?#like i stick my stomach out & i am 100% not trying to do that but i don't know how to remedy this -.-#also my jump at the end to get into position i have trouble staying steady on the landing but the timing is hard without it.#i think for that one i just suffer lol#ANYWAYS i am so tired i've stayed up way too late ... going eepys now
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Idk how i'm supposed to be in a show if i can't even handle cleaning. Like bro get it the fuck together
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#winterguard#winter guard#colorguard#i can't even explain that i'm mad because i'm upset like . ok#there's no way i can spin in a higher class like this. idk if i even want to but clearly i cant#+ getting told off for attitude ... like bestie there is no other way i can express this 2 you#not even like i can be like hayy ^w^ its break time bcause i am the reason we're doing this#ALSO it took me until now to figure out that i'm not supposed to extend my arm all the way? it's like right next to my face sortof#that is Weird. and i have to spin the full way around and face front.... girl help they are changing my choreography#i sprained my finger Again too so. no winning#these are the things that make me wish i was normal like nobody cares. get over it.
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@marbleslost27 ty!!! 💜😊✨
Just curious if anyone knows - for jazz runs (/walks/walk+passe(??)) is the ball of the foot or the heel of the foot supposed to be on the ground on the count?
#alt text#trying to get better at my basics with only a month left in the season ... surely it will help somehow. lol
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LOL it's only my second year & i don't really follow wgi at all. Also i thought, well, if they didn't actually make it i'd look silly ...
I loved the fans! Cleaning must have been a nightmare but they were a really fun element :)
Also did anyone else hear barbie girl(?) during blessed sacrament's run. What the hell was that
#alt text#i really like watching guards but very often i do not understand shows so i kinda just roll with it#(by second year i mean like . ever. i did watch a lot of youtube over the summer before i joined haha)#but ya people in my guard actually follow wgi and stuff & i'm just like . yey guards#when we're at a comp lol
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Just curious if anyone knows - for jazz runs (/walks/walk+passe(??)) is the ball of the foot or the heel of the foot supposed to be on the ground on the count?
#winterguard#winter guard#colorguard#color guard#i hope this makes sense lol. like if the foot lands on 2 what part of it is actually supposed to be on the ground at two#i tried looking at youtube but it was not very informative#and it's literally been months since we've done across the floors so i don't remember anymore ... ^^;;
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Considering calling the needed people from 5calls w/ weavechat ... after hours still probably cause . Scawwy. But it's non-confrontational enough that maybe it would be ... okay?
I'm just not sure how well the audio will come through since it would have to be on my cell phone for both calling & weavechat. Hmm..
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#[adk] related#guy who's desparately posting on 2% battery voice:#anyways ya idk why this didn't occur to me earlier. 99% of the usual anxiety will remain but the possibility to [...]#[...] know what i'm saying in advance? WITHOUT going off-script? sign me up !
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Hi. Why is my soup making me cry
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(Picture of weavechat connect, with the message "it is not Optimized for this screen size!")
Partial success! Sherpa tts has a minimum android requirement of 10, and this tablet is ... uhm ... idk. I couldn't find it. Weavechat's minimum requirement is version 6, but for reasons unrelated to me i can't install it even if i wanted to.
So... yeah. It's a little buggy 😅 if i type something with the device keyboard, it brings the top tabs back and doesn't let me access anything on the bottom! The workaround is to click a predicted text button but that is not a very good workaround.
Today's experiment: weavechat connect + possibly sherpa tts on the fire tablet i have. It's small, old, and certainly not up to date, but if it's possible to run an aac app i like on it...
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#[адк] related#weavechat#weavechat connect#seeing weavechat on a tablet .... ough ..........#like i dont use aac in daily life and i'm not likely to but a (partially) dedicated device... the possibilities....#anyways for those same reasons i can't try to update the os either. so its weavechat connect or nothing LOL
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Today's experiment: weavechat connect + possibly sherpa tts on the fire tablet i have. It's small, old, and certainly not up to date, but if it's possible to run an aac app i like on it...
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#[адк] related#well; we'll see if writing it out in the post makes it show up in the tag. if so — sorry! doing my best not to take up space unwanted 😵💫#anyways the tablet has literally negative space even after i cleared it out to the best of my ability#so the prognosis isn't good. but it's possibly usable.#if sherpa tts works than i might see about getting it an sd card...? it wouldnt need a lot. 16 or 32 gb would be an upgrade!#(for my phone on the other hand i'd need like a 1tb sd card to continue using it the way i normally do. that is to say 5 million apps ...#... and cat pictures.)#uhmmm ya. i should do things on my to do list while i wait for it to charge
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Literally how did i survive last summer 😭 i just barely pushed through my practice & i feel like im gonna pass out
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#ed tw#i'm still trying to be good about it but it's . so hard#it's way too much effort to get food i Maybe want to eat in the morning & that tends to set the tone for the day now ...#having a relatively bad nutrition week. nothing sounds good#not even what i want normally ...#i wish she would stock/make food based on who's most likely to make it instead of 'beans are good for you :)' x1.000#not all beans but like. the spirit of the thing . for the love of god please stop making giant freezer meals that i Will Not Eat#tbh i probably need to make bread more often ... not having it the past few weeks probably hasn't helped......#i'm literally so tired right now and for what. girl (gn) you have things to do get up !!!
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