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Priorities

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that dance but make it griddlehark

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Zelda-stop-feeling-guilty challenge

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Camilla and Palamades are living in an entirely different genre and as a fated, fantasy romance, walk-through-fire-to-be-together fan, I am obsessed with the glimpses into their relationship.

“I died and you carried me. I gambled and you covered my bet. You kept the faith and were the instrument of both my vengeance and my grace. And now I have fought through time and the river and Ianthe the first … will you not look at me now Cam and know me?”

“Yes Warden. I will always know you”

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palamedes sextus based on that one picture of assad zaman

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Today I offer you this drawing of Camilla Hect

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I have some favourites...

(Still need to work seriously on the outfit of every houses)

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The Sixth House | Book One

Camilla Hect | Palamedes Sextus

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"It’s finished, it’s done. You can’t take loved away.”

- Tamsyn Muir, Nona the Ninth

💝 Thank you for 1k. Special thanks to my lovely friend @sessjudoodles for helping sketch the line work for the Albertaceretops :)

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Gideon Nav somehow has a 20 perception and a 6 insight and idk how she did that but God she notices everything and interprets it entirely wrong every time

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Eventide Island Shenanigans

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Well… I still dream of seeing this at the end of season two.

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I've been thinking about this scene (and specifically Camilla's reply) for the last six hours, so I am going to put Some Thoughts under a cut.

If you need me to warn for Cam/Pal content, you shouldn't be here.

What I'm thinking about, friends, is that this reply - "I wouldn't have left you alone for twenty-seven hours" - is not an interrogative. Camilla doesn't ask Gideon why she left her necromancer alone and unprotected. Her immediate response is to turn to her necromancer and assure him that she wouldn't have acted that way. And I know everyone loves to handwave that Cam is the most capable, put-together person in the room (because let's be real, she so often is), but this is a defensive behaviour. It's a self-reassuring, self-validating behaviour. It's the behaviour of someone who, deep down, is fundamentally insecure about how capable they are, how important they are. It's the response of a perfectionist, of someone who has had to repeatedly justify their skills or intelligence, and of someone who has spent a significant amount of time questioning whether or not they truly matter to the person they're interacting with.

Now, you may ask me: why would Camilla be questioning, in this particular moment, how much she matters to Palamedes. And I would answer that she's thousands of kilometres from home, for possibly the very first time in her life. She's away from every familiar, comforting structure and routine that she knows, in a place that poses incredible risk to someone who is both her duty and her love. And! Also present in this place is the woman who has commanded a not-insignificant part of her necromancer's attention for almost a decade, and who has hurt him deeply. Anyone would be stressed! Anyone would be on edge. Anyone would be forgiven for wondering "Okay, but now that he's here, and she's here, what does that mean? For them? For me? For us?"

Additionally (and I have spoken to my wonderful friend Lindsay about this before), we can also consider what growing up Sixth does to a person. Camilla herself writes that any gifted teenager in the Libray is "the system" behaving as it's supposed to:

Her reference was necromancer-specific, but given what she says (and what we can infer from elsewhere) of her training as a cavalier, as well as how young she was when she took her vows, I think we can make a pretty strong case for all members of the Sixth House undergoing some fairly robust educational requirements. Which leads me to ask: what does "the system" of the Sixth House do to someone like Cam? How does it shape or warp someone who has very obvious perfectionist tendencies, who pours so much of themselves and their identity into their title? Why is a twelve year old so intent on proving she's "the best in the Sixth", and what on earth does she do at fifteen that proves that to the entire station? I would dearly love to know if the Oversight Body of the Sixth House is occasionally making tweaks on consanguinity tables, letting the really-truly-gifted distant cousins have a kid or two with one another, for cleverness' sake, in the same way the Seventh deliberately kept heptenary cancer in their bloodlines "in case it produced poetry down the line".

This is another thought for another time, however. For now, back to Cam: she looks at a cavalier who has lost sight of their necromancer, let her walk into danger alone and unprotected, and she turns to hers and swears "I would never". And what does Palamedes do? In front of a total stranger, he says "I know" and then highlights exactly how lost without her he'd be. He blatantly implies that they've never spent a single day apart in their lives, and that they aren't about to start now. He picks up on all the unspoken questions baked into her defensive, emotional response, and just as succinctly, reassures her that yes, she's capable; yes, she's important; yes, she matters to him. 😭

I am going to leave you on that, hopefully with feelings as injured as my own are. It has once again been a pleasure extrapolating with you all.

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my goats

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I finally read Nona

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the locked tomb is a comedy series

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This blog is my adult version of cutting pictures out of magazines and glueing them on to paper