tearsofagathodaemon - Tumblr blog

[tearsofagathodaemon]

“you’re better than this” um no??? usually i’m worse

[tearsofagathodaemon]

the homoerotic urge to finally find someone you love & cherish, someone who finds you absolutely beautiful in every single way, who makes you feel alive

& to push them away because you could never bring them into your suffering, to let them mistake love for hate & watch them find someone better, kinder, safer.

[tearsofagathodaemon]

Messy handwritten letters, bouquets of hand-picked flowers wrapped in brown paper, pastries with haphazard patterns, starless skies, chipped tea cups, coffee stains

[tearsofagathodaemon]

Just breathe.

(via)

[tearsofagathodaemon]

do i love being a academic? yes. do i love my course? yes. do i plan to do a masters? yes. do i also leave all of my assignments to the last possible minute and procrastinate every little piece of work? yes. do i plan on changing this? absolutely not.

[tearsofagathodaemon]

[tearsofagathodaemon]

funniest text i’ve ever gotten from my friend who just started the book

[tearsofagathodaemon]

Mood: working on stuff for uni at midnight while listening to a 19th century villain playlist

[tearsofagathodaemon]

January 2022, dark academia style.

the winter season is hard to enjoy for those of us with seasonal depression, but here's a few things you could implement this year that might make you feel more yourself :]

take morning walks, try to enjoy the sensations of the earth as she slowly warms again and makes room for spring.

wear cozy jumpers. ugly ones, ones with sentimental value, ones that don't quite fit the mood. any snuggly jumper that makes you feel secure and warm. wear a button down shirt underneath, roll the sleeves up. pair it with your favourite clothes. make a winter wardrobe from things you already have that feels like it's yours.

brew a cup of black coffee or tea of choice. take the first sip of it while doing nothing else, focus on the way it warms your throat. remind yourself that this is evidence that you are worth taking care of. you're alive and you matter.

read by candlelight in the evening once the sun has set. let the candles keep you warm, focus on all of the new things you have read, compile a list of what you've read, even if it's only small.

make to do lists which allow you to do your academic work in stages if that's what works for you right now. get a planner. allow yourself room in the day for not only academics, but leisure also. especially as so many of us have deadlines in january. if you feel unaccomplished, write smaller tasks too. when im feeling my worst, i like to write tasks like "make bed" , "brush teeth" , "wipe down cane handle" to remind myself that even small, daily things are better than nothing. depending on how you write these tasks, it could also add to that "aesthetic paper pile" you're acquiring.

if you have not yet started term or work, try to get everything done that you need to do for it before hand. pack your bag or plan your first week of outfits so you can look effortlessly yourself.

do your best to practice personal hygiene. it's better to feel awful while clean than to feel awful while dirty. minimal hygiene tasks count too.

i know a lot of us pride ourselves on our late nights, but in the winter it is a good idea to try to sleep earlier. wake up at an earlier hour instead. it helps. you can still hear the birds sing and taste the sun rise, but from the other side and it can make you feel slightly more productive.

if you are medicated for any reason; take them! set reminders so you don't forget! dreary days can make it easier to lose sight of important but mundane tasks.

journal in some form. a bullet journal, a picture a day, something. every day is worth being excited about and remembering.

start a new hobby, collect rocks or write bad poetry. do something that brings you happiness, it doesn't have to be good or make sense, it just has to make you smile.

if you think that certain social media apps are worsening your mind, take a break for a day (to prove that you can) and then slowly decrease the amount of time you spend there. maybe take breaks from certain apps and see what makes you feel better/worse. does instagram make you feel miserable or does it make you feel connected? maybe it's not the app itself, but the way you've cultivated your timeline, in which case unfollow those accounts and only follow people/accounts that make you feel good! it's a new year, now is as good a time as any to reset.

choose an hour of the day to be your stop point. meaning you don't work after that point unless urgent and have no more commitments. for me, that time is 8pm unless something has been prearranged and falls afterwards. after this point in time, all activity should be chosen because they suit you, be it leisure, self care or even just mindless scrolling if that's all you're up for.

set aside one evening a week to really focus on self care. take a long bath, maybe light some candles or use a bath bomb, take time brushing your hair - brush it slowly and gently - or clean your face. listen to your favourite music. take care of yourself because you deserve to be loved.

don't be too hard on yourself to become a new person this year and to set new years resolutions. nothing changes overnight between the 31st and the 1st. change and growth takes time and we are constantly evolving.

put time aside for social activity. it doesn't have to be in person. watch a movie with a friend while on call to them at the weekend. if you live with someone and you're safe / secure enough to do so, make a plan to bake something together or sit together for a meal. you could also do an independent activity but then come together to discuss it one day a week.

ultimately, find what works for you. my advice might not and that's perfectly fine, we are different people :) try what you see in lists and then adapt them to make them your own.

happy new year, academics. i hope that 2022 is kind to you and that these small tips help you reset this january. be kind to yourselves.

[tearsofagathodaemon]

dark academia / how to get into the christmas spirit

exactly a month to christmas day!

listen to a dark academia christmas playlist – i’m currently working on mine, which i’ll share as soon as possible! – & sing along!

create a warm & intimate study atmopshere with candles & small lamps

use hand soap that smells festive – i love a rosemary & bergamot scented one for the holiday season

bake something with cinnamon in it or just add cinnamon to your oatmeal or coffee

wear your most festive jumper as you study

plan, get & make your christmas presents & cards for your loved ones

light the fireplace or just listen to fireplace crackling sounds on youtube

buy eucalyptus or spruce branches to decorate & bring in a lovely scent

send vintage christmas cards with handwritten well wishes on them

put on christmas music, curl up in an armchair & read a winter themed book

get your (childhood) favourite christmas sweets & eat some on a cold evening

go ice skating if there’s snow & ice where you live

watch the snowman – or save it for christmas eve!

journal about the christmas season – what do you wish to do before the holidays? what activities would you like to do during them? what christmas things are “musts” for you?

[tearsofagathodaemon]

Dark Academia Must Haves

A few things I have noticed that are common in the aesthetic of Dark Academia. Wanted to list a few things that frequently popped up:

candles- preferably the long taper candles.

coffees, teas, to drink while studying or solving that crime (all my candlelight of course)

books book books!!! the more the better- the classics preferably but any book will do

clothing- preppy style- think private boarding school vibes

photographs of architecture, art, or travels and places you’ve been to.

ink pens or even quills if you’re down for that

parchment paper (you can make some by staining paper with tea or coffee

classical music, or search a DA playlist on spotify or Youtube, I am sure you will find one

The hunger for learning and knowledge- pursue whatever it is you are studying with a hunger for learning more. That desperation for the knowledge and to love academics because you love it. That is the core of the dark academia aesthetic.

Early mornings or late nights. Pick one- but remember to stay healthy while studying :)

[tearsofagathodaemon]

green academia is just dark academia for bi people, even if we are all gay af

[tearsofagathodaemon]

just to be clear, I’m staying here as long as this site functions. I have 0 intentions of deleting this blog, I will go down with this ship if only to see exactly how bad it gets

[tearsofagathodaemon]

october will heal us. fall ascends down to bring heaven to earth. there is only peace and autumn chill. october will heal us.

an excerpt from october by anvita bhogadi

[tearsofagathodaemon]

If We Were Villains, 2021 Edition.

My boyfriend bought me the new edition as he knows how in love i am with this book. It's absolutely gorgeous, everything that i expected and more. i cannot wait to revisit the villains through this book. The new introduction by M.L.Rio made me cry, iwwv makes me cry, there will be a lot of crying in the coming days. Reading this beautiful novel again while finally attending on campus university is going to be magical.

[tearsofagathodaemon]

UNPOPULAR OPINION BOOK EDITION:

If We Were Villains by M.L.Rio is a way better novel than The Secret History by Donna Tartt in terms of storyline. I enjoyed both books but definitely felt more for the characters and circumstances in IWWV. of course, having said that Secret History definitely walked so IWWV could run. It definitely was the blueprint. (and Tartt’s language, beautiful as always)

[tearsofagathodaemon]

if we were villains headers

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give proper creds to @marashzw on twitter