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techpheeweek · 3 months ago

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stranger to your own heart

Written for @techpheeweek, prompt for Saturday: 'Don't be a stranger to your own heart, don't leave me dancing in the pale blue light' - Pale Blue Light, Jessie Ware

Mentions of sex, nothing explicit.

Words: 748

Phee had left an open invitation hanging in the air like condensation on a chilly winter’s day. She was never one to outwardly show it, but she was nervous. She and Tech had walked this tightrope for a while now, and time would show if the nudge she gave would send them careening into each other’s arms, or tumbling into a mess of limbs on the hard ground below.

Tech was easy to read in some respects, and near impossible in others. Some were apparent from his facial expressions (disgust, surprise, or arrogance). However, anything simmering below the surface was a mystery, as he often looked calculating and indecipherable.

Did she misinterpret? It was certainly possible. She was half tempted to comm him, but knew it had to remain in his hands now. She never chased, and she wouldn’t start now. She just had to remain confident that her intentions were clear enough.

“If you want, you could come over tonight, brown eyes,” she had said, after a particularly flirty conversation. He looked taken aback.

“I will…consider it,” he had said, then quickly dismissed himself. Obviously, he was flustered, but out of reciprocity or secondhand embarrassment? Stars, she was a mess. She hadn’t been this out of sorts over a partner since that Tholothian waitress, back when she lived on Corellia.

She stood up to work on something, anything. A flash of copper caught her eye. It was the never-ending pile of trinkets that needed polishing before she could properly archive them. Just as she grabbed her brush, there was a knock at her door. She tossed the brush by the pile, making a mental note she knew she’d forget.

As she hoped, it was Tech.

“Hey, brown eyes,” she said. Fuck, was her voice shaky?

“Hello, Phee.” He looked around, examining her doorway. “May I come in?”

“Of course.”

He took a step inside, then immediately stopped once over the threshold, closing the door behind him. “I am taking you up on your offer. Though, its vagueness confused me. After deliberation, I decided I am amicable to any and all reasonable scenarios I suspected.”

“And what were those?” Phee said, almost quiet. Her voice lacked the charisma it normally carried. He was already here, and yet she told herself to not dare to hope.

“Well, I…” He cleared his throat. “I decided there were three possible meanings behind your message, though they do overlap. Platonic, romantic, and sexual.”

Phee nearly choked. “And you’re open to all of those?”

After a pause, Tech said, “Well, the sexual component does seem a bit accelerated, based on my observations of typical romantic relationships, but I was not sure if you wanted sex without attachment.”

Oh, stars. He thought she was asking him for sex. Though, wasn’t she? In her best case scenario, he would come over, and yes, some clothes would be shed, but he said it so clinically.

“No, no, Tech, that’s not what I-“ she stopped herself. “I didn’t mean to just invite you over for sex.”

“Well, like I said, there were two other possibilities, romantic and platonic. Just if that had been your intention, I would be amicable.”

“Right.” She inhaled. Fuck, why was she so flustered? “I invited you over to spend time together.”

“Is this time spent together viewed romantically, platonically, or sexually?”

His mind was brilliant, but its propensity for sticking to a point like his life depended on it was beginning to drive her up the wall. There could be no gray with Tech, she remembered - things needed to be defined. And she supposed that made sense, given the rest of him. If he valued their friendship as much as she did, he would want to make sure he was operating under the right pretenses.

But she needed the gray, just a dab. She wasn’t ready to label whatever this was. So she met him in the middle.

“All three?” Maybe it made things more confusing, but it was how she felt. Desire, pining, and affection all intermingled in a need to just be closer to him.

“I know that doesn’t clarify, but I don’t really know, brown eyes,” she said, willing herself to not avert her eyes from his. “I just want to spend time with you.”

“Hm. Alright. And how do you suppose we spend this time together?” He said.

She tilted her head, playfulness returning at him not being put off by her indecisiveness. “How about a dance?”

#writing #techphee valentines event #techpheeweek

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techpheeweek · 3 months ago

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TechPhee Valentine's Weekend - Day 1

Not Beyond Repair

Rating: T

Summary:

TechPhee Weekend Day 1: And if you have a minute, why don’t we go talk about it somewhere only we know?

There's a room in the Archium not many know about, a place to repair the ancient wonders Phee liberates. Tech is fond of it: for the work, the company, and the help he himself receives.

For @techpheeweek

ANs: Hello! This takes place in an AU where Tech is CX-2 and he was recovered after Hemlock dies in Canon, though I suppose a good part of it takes place BEFORE that happens.

One Week After Arriving on Pabu

“Got a minute, Browneyes?”

Tech looked up from his datapad. He sat in the shadow of the Marauder, where Phee had joined him. The self proclaimed liberator gave him a smile as she leaned against the ship.

“Do you truly mean a minute, or do you need my assistance for longer?” Tech asked.

Phee laughed.

“You got me there.” She said. “I’m thinking an hour, maybe?”

Tech nodded.

“I can spare the time.” He said.

He got up and dusted his legs off. He was wearing his armor less and less as their time on Pabu continued.

“What can I assist you with?” He asked Phee.

“Just wondering if you could fix something.” She said. “Gotta get to the Archium, though.”

“Very well.” Tech said.

He followed her through the bright sunlight to the beginning of the many, many sets of stairs on Pabu.

“Here.”

Tech blinked as Phee tossed him a Jogan fruit. She winked.

“I heard your stomach rumble loud as a hyperdrive.” She said. It had? Tech had not noticed. “You like Jogan, right?”

He did. A far more pleasant breakfast than a ration bar. They climbed together in silence for a while. It was broken occasionally by islanders calling greetings to Phee and occasionally to Tech. Despite the sun, the temperature was temperate, and many of the inhabitants were out enjoying the fine weather.

“Where’s the rest of your squad?” Phee asked as they reached the bottom of the wall that separated Upper and Lower Pabu. “Didn’t see them on the way up.”

“Lyana took Omega to explore the shore, Hunter is watching them, and Wrecker is continuing his fishing lessons.” Tech listed off.

“Leaving you to just waste away, huh?”

“Hardly. I know how to keep myself occupied.” Tech looked up at the long way still ahead of them. “And the climb to the Archium will certainly do so.”

Phee glanced at him and grinned.

“We could take your shortcut.”

Tech paused, thinking of when he had grabbed Phee and grappled to a higher level. He thought of that incident often, though he was unsure why.

“It would be unnecessary.” He decided. “We are not racing against a sea surge.”

“Well then, we’ll just have to endure the stairs.” Phee said. She looked at him, watching him eat the last piece of Jogan. She waited for him to swallow. “Race you.”

“What-”

Phee began sprinting up the steps. After a brief moment of surprise, Tech found himself rushing after her. Wrecker and Crosshair tended to be the most competitive of their squad, but Tech had been known to be tempted by challenges.

Despite her head start, Tech slowly closed her lead. She glanced behind her and eyes widened.

“Not- fair!” She puffed as he passed her.

He kept a comfortable distance between them, though his legs and lungs began to burn with each footfall. He was in exceptional shape, but prolonged step climbing was a challenge. This was certainly the case as the stairs became increasingly steep the further they climbed. He was surprised with how well Phee kept up.

And was even more surprised when she surged forward and past him on the last set of steps. She reached the top mere seconds before he did, turning and grinning with hands on hips.

“I win.” She said.

“You were holding back.” Tech said as he joined her.

“Nah, more like I got a second wind.” Phee said, her breathing labored. “Though I was enjoying the view.”

Tech blinked.

“Of my back?”

“A little lower, but yeah.”

It took Tech a moment to parse her meaning, forgetting for a moment that backsides could be considered attractive, but he felt his face heat when he did.

“Oh.” He said.

Phee laughed.

“Sorry, Browneyes.” Though I might call you Longlegs now; you’ve got quite the stride.”

Tech decided she was teasing due to the wink she gave him. He nearly had told her that he preferred Browneyes.

“Was there a reason for that display?” He asked, following her across the courtyard.

“Fun.” Phee said. “I’ve decided you boys, not to mention Omega, have not had enough in your life.”

“We have had fun.” Tech protested, thinking of Wrecker’s shouts of joy when scrapping droids.

“Fun that doesn’t have anything to do with fighting.” Phee said.

“I enjoy flying.” Tech pointed out.

“Yeah, but you fly like you’ve constantly got bogies on your tail. This way.”

She did not take him to the main entrance as he expected. Instead, she veered to a nook on the side of the Archium.

“This place isn’t only for displaying artifacts.” She said, opening a door that was nearly camouflaged against the wall. “It’s meant for repairing them too.”

The room inside was lit with a low, soothing light. While not small, much of the space was occupied by stone shelves or what looked like work tables. The shelves were filled with artifacts. Some were obviously damaged, which led him to conclude that they were all in need of repair. The wall that was not festooned with shelves was hung with ancient looking tools.

Tech sneezed as Phee kicked up dust by moving into the room.

“Sorry.” She said. “Not many people know about this room, and I don’t come as often as I used to.”

She traced her finger through the dust on a near work table.

“Shep’s wife, Jora, used to come work here all the time.” She said. “When she passed- I got a little too sad to visit. By the time I felt like coming back, I’d dumped so many things in here that I didn’t know where to start.”

Tech identified where he would start: an interesting orb that seemed to him that it was supposed to open. Phee took a breath and turned back to Tech.

“Anyway, I picked something up on my last trip for one of our new refugees.” She said. “But it’s not working and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. Mind taking a look for me?”

She gestured to a complex object made up of bronze gears lying on the table. Tech stepped to it and studied the contraption.

“A music box.” He decided.

“Yeah, that’s what he said. I promised him I’d get it going. He’s been having a hard transition.”

Tech took a seat. He found the head of a lamp and turned it on.

“I will see what I can do.” He said. “Which, I imagine, is repairing it.”

Phee laughed. Tech was finding he liked it when she did.

“Thanks, Browneyes.” She scooted a seat close to his. “Wanna hear how I got it?”

He did.

Two days before the mission to Tantiss

Tech hurried towards the Archium’s workshop. He was late; Phee would have been waiting for him and he had failed to inform her of his delay.

“There you are.” Her familiar voice said as he entered. Though, he felt her voice was becoming something more than familiar. “I thought you left an hour ago.”

“I was briefly tasked with a more urgent project.” Tech reported.

Phee, sitting at their normal work table, grinned at him.

“One of the kids needed a toy fixed, huh?”

Tech adjusted his goggles.

“Well, yes.”

His skill with repairs had spread around the island, and a young boy had approached him on his way to the Archium. It had been a simple, but time consuming fix. He had had to take apart the boy’s battered toy speeder to get at the power source.

“You’re almost as popular as Wrecker now.” Phee said. “Well, sit down, let’s get going!”

She seemed excited, so Tech sat next to her. Lying on the stone surface was a tiny bird. It seemed to be made of segmented porcelain painted with tones of orange and violet.

“It’s from my home planet.” Phee said.

Tech looked to her, surprised. She had told him that it was nearly impossible to find artifacts from her homeworld and she had not yet done so. He picked it up and examined its glossy surface.

“I assume you will tell me about it in detail.” He said.

“Only if you want to hear.”

“I do.”

Tech gently prised a panel off, exposing the mechanical insides.

“It's based off of a pendulum lark.” Phee said, leaning in to watch his work. “It's said that no one needs a clock on my planet because the larks sing every hour, on the hour.”

“Fascinating.” Tech said. He finished removing the shell and began the careful dismantling of the device. “I assume they do this even with seasonal changes.”

“Yup.” Phee was excited; even Tech could tell. “My planet has eight moons and the larks could tell the time by their movements. When my people started leaving the planet, they recorded the lark and started building these as time keepers.”

Tech nodded, examining the tiny speaker. Phee paused in her explanation, a rarity for her.

“I haven't heard their song in years.” She finally said softly.

Tech looked up at her. She was staring at the pieces of the bird and she gently brushed a piece with her finger.

Tech wanted her to hear the song again.

“I am sure that I will be able to repair it.” He said in an attempt to console her.

Phee smiled.

“Of course. I've got perfect faith in you.”

He worked for a moment more, studying each piece.

“Got an idea of what's wrong?” Phee asked.

“Yes.” Tech said. “The wiring from the power source is corroded. The voice coil for the speaker is broken as well. A simple repair.”

He glanced at her.

“In fact, you did not need me to mend this.” He said. “Your mechanical skills are more than sufficient to perform the repair.”

He froze as Phee put a hand on one of his.

“Maybe. I probably could have fixed a lot of the artifacts you’ve worked on, in all honesty.” She said. “But- I wanted to share this one with you.”

Tech looked at her. He could not read her expression and yet- his heart began to pound quickly in his chest.

She wished to share something she felt so strongly about with him. He realized how intimate a gesture it was. And he realized that he was glad she did.

“I- would like to hear their song.” Tech said. “With you.”

He found he could not take his eyes from her lips. He became very aware of their skin touching and how close her face was to his.

“I might just kiss you, Browneyes.” Phee said.

He very much wanted her to.

She didn’t. At least, not at first. She leaned down.

“Can I?” She whispered in his ear.

Tech nodded, breathless from anticipation.

The kiss came.

He hadn’t known what to expect. He had no experience in the matter. In the past, he had wondered at the act of pressing mouths together. He knew lips were sensitive, but it still seemed odd.

It was not odd.

It was exquisite.

For a moment, the shock of the experience froze him, leaving him to just allow Phee to move her lips against his. Then, without his usual confidence, he pressed back. Why had he not researched this? He felt so ignorant and incompetent.

But Phee just applied more force and slid her hand up his neck into his hair. It must have been sufficient.

For a moment, he merely enjoyed the sensation and his closeness to her. Then- then his exceptional mind betrayed him.

What- what did this mean? Was this mere animal attraction? What would their relationship be moving forward? Did he wish to be in a relationship? Was he doing any of this correctly? What exactly did she feel for him?

Did he love her?

Anxiety became the clearest of the tangle of emotions in his chest. He pulled away from Phee, his heart pounding for a new reason.

“Hey.” Phee said, removing her hands and holding them as if afraid to touch him. “Hey. Are you all right? Kriff, I’m sorry-”

“I-” Tech forced out. He had never been so lost for words. “I do not- I need to think-”

“I understand.” Phee said quickly. “I get it. I’m sorry for pushing.”

Then she was gone. A small part of him wanted her to stay. Most of him was just confused and overwhelmed. The emotions were too strong. Did all beings feel like this during courtship? He tried to sort through his reaction, but doing so dug a pit in his stomach.

He did not understand.

A distraction. He needed to focus on something else. He forced himself to look at the work in front of him: shining pieces of porcelain scattered around their mechanical insides. He swallowed as the confusing emotions surged again. No, this would not do.

He got up and left the workshop with a steady stride he did not feel. Perhaps- perhaps Omega would like a flying lesson.

Six weeks after the destruction of Tantiss

“Gotcha.”

Tech looked up from his work and immediately looked down again. Phee was leaning against the doorframe of the ragged, burnt hut he currently occupied. He tightened his lips to a line and tried to focus on the cooling unit he was repairing. He heard Phee take a step in.

“You sure like tinkering in odd places.” She went on. “I’m surprised you managed to escape your family.”

Tech bit back the reply that it had been difficult, though he doubted he’d be able to get it out regardless. His brothers and sister tended to keep him on a short leash since they’d come back. But he could not bear to look at Crosshair’s residual limb for even a moment longer.

“You know you can come to me if you need a break from their fussing, right?”

It almost made Tech laugh. As if she fussed any less. As if he could bear her kindness after all he had done. They were in a reminder of that: a blackened, uninhabitable, shell of a building.

A moment of silence passed.

“So you’re gonna stay here.” Phee said.

Tech gave her a nod. More silence. He heard her walk closer and felt her crouch beside him.

“You got a minute?” She asked. “I know you’re busy helping rebuild-”

Helping rebuild? No, he was atoning for what he had done, in some miniscule way.

“But I think we need to talk.” Phee finished.

Tech continued working. Talk? He could barely speak on his more functional days. What manner of conversation could he engage in that would be of use? Even if he could, how could mere words help? What he felt, what had happened to him, what he had done was beyond verbalization.

So he shook his head. She didn’t say anything. Then she placed her hand next to one of his. When he did not draw away, she took it. He stared at their entwined fingers. Touch had become common from her since his return.

“We’re worried, Browneyes.” She said. “Can we just try?”

Tech swallowed. He knew they were worried. Crosshair had no jibes for him. Echo checked in far more often than he had before, asking after Tech specifically. Hunter made sure someone was with him at all times. Wrecker constantly asked if he was well, even when it was obvious he was not. And Omega- Omega, who watched him always, who cried for him when she thought he couldn’t hear, who stubbornly pushed him towards things she believed would help him.

He did not want them to worry. Perhaps knowing that he had tried would ease their anxiety.

So he nodded.

“Thank you.” Phee said. She pulled at his hand. “Come on.”

Tech considered resisting. They could converse about his status here as well as anywhere. But Phee put her other hand on his. It felt- nice. He let her tug him to his feet. She led him out of the crumbling house and into the sunlight.

He did not miss her subtly click a button on her comm. Likely informing the others that he had been found.

She led him up the many steps up the island. They had to stop to rest a few times. He was still recovering from the wound Hunter had given him. His cybernetics had been damaged as well. They still worked, allowing him to move and live, but not as efficiently or painlessly as they could. Unfortunately he could not yet stand them being touched, even by his own hands.

The cybernetics ached as they reached the top of the island. The Archium loomed over them, casting its shadow across the courtyard. Phee took him straight to the building, but ignored the main entrance. Good. Tech did not wish to see his brothers’ armor, donated after their return from- that place. More accurately, he did not wish to see the empty space beside them where only his shattered goggles lay.

Only when Phee guided him to the side of the building did his addled mind realize where she was taking him. She ushered him into the workshop.

He paused at the threshold, taking the dusty workbenches and low, soothing light in. The room seemed untouched from when he had last been there. In fact, the pieces of a mechanical bird lay on the workbench. He remembered taking it apart, Phee telling him what it was. He remembered what had happened afterwards.

“Remember how full this room used to be?” Phee asked. “How many broken things were on those shelves?”

Tech nodded, letting her distract him and bring him a few steps further in.

“You fixed dozens of artifacts.” Phee said. “Some easy, some hard. But they were all here, just waiting for you.”

She stepped in front of him. He closed his eyes, unwilling to meet her gaze. He felt a delicate touch on his cheek, fingers against his skin.

“Can you imagine if they ran and hid, not giving you the chance to help?” She whispered. “They’d never be whole again.”

Tech saw the metaphor. “I- am a human.” He managed. “They are not as easily restored.”

“True.” Phee admitted. “But we’re not exactly strangers to challenges.”

Slowly, as if to give him time to pull away if he wished, she put her arms around him. He did not wish to. He let her and even raised a hand to touch her arm.

“It feels undeserved.” He said. “After all I have done.”

Phee held him tighter.

“It’s not your fault.”

“I feel the guilt all the same.”

It was- easier to speak here in this quiet room, just to her. She let go.

“Look at me.” She said. “Please.”

Tech opened his eyes and managed a moment’s eye contact before looking at her ear instead. She did not scold him.

“You did all this, fixing so much, without being asked.” She said. “No pay, nothing.”

“You and the rest of the island gave us a home.” Tech said. “It was the least I could do to repay you.”

“We didn’t ask to be repaid.” Phee said. “You like helping people. You’re a good person.”

She took his hands again.

“A good person who was hurt badly and wasn’t able to make the decisions he would have.”

“I know that.” Tech said. “And then- I look at Crosshair. I see the damage the Imperial troops I brought did to Pabu.”

He hated how his emotions, once so firmly under control, ruled him now.

“And every waking hour you've tried to fix it.” Phee said.

Before Tech could reply, Phee sighed and touched his cheek again.

“I know you won't be able to change the way you feel right away.” She said. “All I'm asking- all we're asking is for you to try.”

Tech felt himself nod. He could try.

Phee smiled at him. It seemed to ease the heavy emotions in his chest. Yes, he would try. If only to inspire more smiles in her, in his family.

He looked to the disassembled bird on the workbench. There was another way to make her smile.

And- among all the other sources of guilt from his time as CX-2, there was one from before. It was time to undo the regret he'd carried from their last interactions.

He drew his hands away and took a step towards the workbench. He glanced back at Phee, who raised an eyebrow.

“I wish to hear its song.” Tech explained. “With you.”

He would find the words for a true apology later. For now, it was enough to sit with her here.

He was like this bird, he decided, taken apart and broken. But not beyond repair. Especially with a mechanic as skilled and determined as the woman holding his hand.

ANs:

Kind of a loose interpretation of the prompt, with a focus on the ‘have a minute’ and the ‘somewhere only we know’ being the repair room.

So this was originally just the final scene, with the previous two scenes just referenced to. And for once in my life, I decided I wanted more than just angst, so I wrote the other two scenes out. As a result, I think there might be a bit of a disconnect between those two first scenes and the last one. Ah well. The Archium Wookieepedia page mentions that it’s a place to repair artifacts and I knew that Tech needed to be involved with that.

Tech’s reaction to the kiss comes from my own reaction to being kissed for the first time. He will actually be able to process it one day. And you know, he’s actually in love with the person kissing him. He’s just a lil overwhelmed. Plus, it’s an explanation on part of why he’s so awkward when she says goodbye.

Day 2 and 3 might come late, because this one took longer than I expected. I SHOULD get those written. I’ve got ideas for them both. Unfortunately, the idea for day 2 is a bit long. Ah well.

For once I am too tired for any extensive ANs. Oh well, I might add more later.

Stay safe, remember to review, and I’ll see you later!

#this is so lovely i cry #writing #techphee valentines event #techphee #techpheeweek #thank you for participating!!

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