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[texttter]

Going rogue

I’ve been exploring what going rogue means in my life through various ways:

Tripping on acid in my living room while watching Julia Fox interview Maitland Ward, Lana Rhoades, and Grimes. Julia Fox really gets it.

Dancing to techno midday on Sudnay at Berghain with basically no clothes on. I ended up missing my flight back to the US after a drug fueled attempt at getting to the airport on time.

Going on adventures with strangers that I met in hostels, an elevator shaft, BDSM clubs.

Screaming into the void while standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean after stepping out to get fresh air at a renegade tunnel rave.

Chopping off all my hair after having thought about it for 4 days. Interestingly, this is still 3 days longer compared to my last drastic hair chop at the age of 19, where I buzzed it off on a particularly angsty day.

Re-reading Train to Pokipse, probably one of the least known works of fictions I’ve encountered. Back then, I resonated deeply with the narrator who's searching for meaning in the pre ows, post heartbreak world. I haven’t touched it since my initial read at the age of 18, but I still got a lot out of it.

Reading It Came from the Closet, a collection of essays analyzing horror movies from a queer perspective. Each writer interweaves personal experiences with critical analysis of the movies, making the experience of reading them incredibly intriguing and personal. Queerness is weird and I'm still figuring out how to navigate my own, which makes it all so meaningful.