th1stleknight

[th1stleknight]

Link to a better formated doc with more evidence of their behavior: https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1uUcm7SwklSbeQpPC4IHg61puuVVy2ur-Ov02djPYyRo/mobilebasic

[th1stleknight]

why did you use help from someone who is known friends with groomers and has done weird shit around minors to make a doc about people doing weird shit about minors

I reached out to Eden before I knew they were still friends with these people. I was under the impression that they had cut off the majority of mods and admins from their server, and were no longer in communication with them.

I didn’t know how weird Eden had been around minors. While I had heard it briefly mentioned from Yohan, the majority of discussion about eden in systems cringe was centered around them faking and spreading misinformation on did.

Since I was told more about Eden, I’ve checked evidence around it and have not interacted with them since. If I had to do it again I would not reach out to them. However, Eden did not help me make the doc, and they did not help jb make theirs. We reached out to them to establish a pattern, not to involve them directly in the situation. Since seeing evidence of how unreliable they can be, I put a disclaimer in the document saying that there is no direct proof, and you should not take it at face value.

The reason I’ve left them in is because I feel it’s important for people to know that these are not new accusations. Eden banned them for this more than a year prior to now. I know Eden has done awful things and is not an incredibly reliable source, but that does not automatically mean they are wrong about this.

Tldr: jb and I were not aware just how bad the things they had done were. If we had been, we would not have contacted them.

[th1stleknight]

Inappropriate behavior towards minors in the systemscringe discord server

Reposting this as a wall of text instead of a link

I’ve included as many screenshots as I possibly can, but unfortunately the majority of this happened in either voice calls or a now deleted server called “pk checking” so I don’t have proof for absolutely everything, however I’ve linked screenshots of conversations I’ve had with other people who knew them. An extra thank you to the collective of Eden as well as an unnamed admin from their old server who told me about Yohans past history when I reached out to them. I’m still sorting through old discords servers and my photo album, so don’t be surprised if new screenshots shot up

I know this isn’t phrased the best, and it definitely doesn’t have the best layout, but I wanted to share this anyway because I’m sick of hiding this, and I���m tired of not being believed. I’ll likely make a better formatted version of this in the future.

Below is a link to another document made about Yohan. This document is less of documenting their predatory behavior and more showing how they act and behave in general, so it’s not a necessary read but it does showcase examples of them lying, manipulating, trauma dumping, blaming others for their behavior (Eden specifically), admitting they have allegations against them and more.

Some of the screenshots reference things such as dogpiling, fakeclaiming, raiding, and more. Neither jb or I approve of these things anymore, nor do we partake in them. While they are things we did and opinions we had, please do not mistake these as our current beliefs or behaviors.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uPc6GVPDFQFrzT08f4wi9jgm16S9e4Hlt078n3tentk/edit?usp=drivesdk

Trigger warnings including but not limited to: grooming, pedophilia, abuse of power, and more that I’m probably forgetting rn

I’ll be referring to said admin as Yohan, but they also went by Angel, Andreas, Critter, and CrypticCritter, and may be referred to as one of these in the screenshots

Yohan was pitting me against my friends. They were convincing me that my friends hated me or looked down upon me to the point I stopped talking to them. Yohan would encourage me to shittalk my friends over vc, (specifically jb and someone who I’m not sure wants to be named.) they would also shittalk who I later learned from Eden and another ex-admin from their server was a previous victim of theirs. (Red in screenshots towards the end) as a clarification: jb was not targeting me. They have never had anything against me, and despite what Yohan led me to believe in the past, we are now great friends.

I was in a server called pk checking with all of the systemscringe mods, aswell as several of my friends. Instead of using mod chat to make decisions, the mods used this chat, including myself and other minors in the decision making process. They almost exclusively used this chat, without the knowledge of anybody in the main server. We also used this chat to essentially gossip about other members, and to discuss things that weren’t appropriate for the main server. Things like abortion, grooming, pedophilia, childhood trauma and abuse, and more. Again, this server was a mix of minors, and adults in positions of power. There was a specific admin who would vent in detail about his childhood trauma at any given opportunity, as well on a separate occasion venting to me about his roommate at about 4 in the morning while being nearly blackout drunk. I was 16. He was 23 or 24 if I’m remembering correctly

FINALLY, an 18+ chat in pk checking was created, only at the request of jb who was freshly 18. I did not know about this at the time. Yohan argued with jb in this channel, and used the fact that I wasn’t in it to frame jb as the only one instigating arguments. He used the fact that I couldn’t see what he was doing to pretend like it never happened.

Yohan would tell me I was mature. He would go on and on about how I acted older than I was, how I should be an admin of systemscringe despite me not qualifying due to the age limit. He would tell me how I was the only child he talked to because unlike my peers I was kind and respectful. He told me that’s what he loved about me. He even went so far as to request that the owner of syscringe ban all non admins from pk checking except for me, because I was mature enough to handle those conversations while nobody else my age was.

Despite the fact that I was 16 at the time, Yohan tried to pull me into a situation with a known pedophile (catty if anyone reading this remembers her.) They said I was mature enough to be involved in the situation, and that I shouldn’t be excluded from joining the adult mod team in gathering information and exposing catty just because I was a minor. (See first screenshot)

Yohan would also involve me in his love life. He would tell me about another admin that he had a crush on, and why. He would go on and on about how handsome and amazing and romantic he was, aswell as explaining to me exactly why they could never be together, citing specific trauma in detail to me as the reason.

The admins of systemscringe know about this. Jb has gone to them with proof. Neither Yohan nor the admin making excuses for them have been demodded, despite the admins acknowledging what happened and the owner of systemscringe saying that they didn’t wanted to associate with either of them. The owner went inactive after this situation came to light. The admin that sided with yohan is now basically in charge of systemscringe.

More screenshots included down below. These are not my experience and thus I don’t feel comfortable summarizing or talking about them, but I feel they are important to know to share. Both of these people knew Yohan very well. The reason I knew to ask these people is because Yohan frequently complained that they had accused him of being a predator.

To clarify: I’m not mad at anyone that I’ve mentioned or referred to. I’m not making this to throw shade, and I’m not making this to be petty. I’m making this post because Yohan has done this before, and it’s possible that they will do this again. I want people (and especially other minors) to know this so they can make an informed decision before interacting with them or joining systemscringe.

[th1stleknight]

Reminder that you do not necessarily have to understand or agree with something to be respectful to someone that has a different opinion.

[th1stleknight]

whats your favorite fish

Trout. I named my first ever Stardew dog after one

[th1stleknight]

Apologies if I’m late to respond to asks, comments, etc. Tumblr isn’t giving me notifications anymore and I only manually check once or twice a day.

[th1stleknight]

imma be honest you’re just a bad person

Im going to be honest and say if you think that that’s fine. I’ve done a lot of shitty things, and been mean to a lot of people. I’m not entitled to everyone’s forgiveness, nor am I entitled to everyone forgetting everything I’ve ever done wrong.

This isn’t the « aha gotcha » that you think it is. I’m aware I’ve been a bad person, especially in the system community. That doesn’t mean people can’t change and that doesn’t mean I’m not trying to.

Respectfully, you do not need anon to say this, or really be saying this at all. I fear it is quite obvious.

[th1stleknight]

A bit late, but happy pride month to all syscoursers, regardless of syscourse stance!

[th1stleknight]

So off topic but I fucking love ham and cheese sandwiches man

[th1stleknight]

News flash to the anon I had to block: having DID does not make it ok to fakeclaim someone, even if you disagree with them, even if they are being a jerk. It’s a pretty unanimous opinion in the syscourse community that fakeclaiming is bad no matter what, so I’m not sure why you think it’s ok to make an exception.

(Repost bc I idiotically put syscringe instead of syscourse in the tags)

[th1stleknight]

i think you should give a public apology to @silenced-survivor specifically even if you are blocked. you treated them the worst for challenging your beliefs and your claims that did not have backing. you did repeatedly belittle them for having a different experience you do. you might think a general apology is enough, but given how much you did to them specifically and barely anything to anyone else, it comes across more like you are trying to avoid responsibility by not stating specifics than like you hurt a lot of people.

I’m blocked. They most likely did this because they didn’t want to see or hear from me, which is a valid response to how I acted. The only way for me to get an apology to them would be directly breaking a boundary that they set, or making a public apology that they won’t be able to see. I’ve been awful enough to them as it is, and I’m not going add another thing to that list by block-evading when they very clearly do not want to hear from me.

If they ever feel comfortable talking to me or unblocking me then I’d be happy to have a conversation with them and apologize publicly and/or privately depending on their wishes, but a personal apology towards them is something THEY deserve, not something the entire syscourse community minus them deserves.

I am not trying to evade responsibility, I am trying to respect their wishes by not forcing myself into their life when that is something I’d imagine they don’t want at the moment.

Tldr: if silenced survivor feels comfortable interacting with me in the future I will gladly apologize, but I’m not going to continue posting about or interacting with someone who (rightfully) wants nothing to do with me.

[th1stleknight]

Putting this into a longer and more detailed post:

First off I’d like to apologize to any asks/reblogs etc that I haven’t answered. I deleted tumblr over the weekend to give me time to cool down and think about the situation.

Second off, I’d like to apologize in general. While I made that post from research I’ve done, I wasn’t truly open to learning more. Instead of taking criticism and learning from it I immediately got defensive and hostile to pretty much everyone that was expressing different opinions on the matter. It was a shitty way for me to behave, and I’m truly sorry to anyone that I hurt by acting that way.

Third off, I won’t be posting any more content like that. While I might reblog syscourse things occasionally or make smaller posts from a personal perspective, the longer medical posts have just led to conflict. I don’t want this because conflicts negatively impact me, and in return my behavior and responses to it negatively impacts other people.

Post script: final (maybe) apology for today is in case I’ve made any spelling/formatting mistakes in this post. I wanted to make this as soon as I could which resulted in me having to do it on my phone in the car on the way to therapy.

[th1stleknight]

Tbh I kinda hate arguing with people about syscourse so I might end up just turning this into a stardew valley blog.

Thoughts?

[th1stleknight]

"and frankly I find it insane that you are hounding me for not sourcing a single statement while you are making hoards of unfounded ones on the basis of seeing a professional. You are a stranger on the internet. I don’t know whether you are telling the truth, so unless you have medical sources for your statements I’m not going to just believe you."

"If you don’t agree with the isstds guidelines then feel free to link me to a reliable treatment manual for did that encourages functional multiplicity and I will gladly take a look."

you literally did ask them to back up their lived experience with medical research, to prove their own experiences to you so you would believe them. multiple times actually. stop trying to weasel your way out of this and just apologize for it at this point. literally no one is agreeing that you are in the right for this, and you immediately flipping to "actually lived experiences do matter" when others get on your case is hypocritical. demanding other people online get their existence academically peer reviewed before you believe them at all is some incredible ableism and classism.

The key difference is that they were talking objectively, saying that medically functional multiplicity is just as recommended on the sole basis of their experience and what they are saying their doctor told them. I am not saying their personal experience is invalid, but they do not speak for every single pwdid, nor do they speak for everyone who has done research on it.

For your second reference I am unsure of the point you are trying to make. That does not have anything to do with personal experience, it has to do with medical research. Those are not the same things.

[th1stleknight]

i am literally trying to help you understand that how you approached things with that whole thread does come across as you projecting your own issues with varying ways of recovery onto one system who was actively telling you that something you say is always harmful to recovery for everyone is not always harmful to them. they were not the only one to tell you this either, and still are not the only one telling you that you are wrong. you claim that you agree with circ about how having too much of a focus on medical research can be a bad thing, but when someone confronts you on that in a different phrasing, you say that they have to prove their own lived experiences to you with medical research for you to believe them. do you not see how that is hypocritical of you?

Nobody needs to prove anything to me, and I never asked them to. Again, as I’ve said before what works for them works for them. I am not asking anyone to prove that functional multiplicity works for them. I am not disbelieving anyone who says multiplicity works for them, because I am not them and I can’t see into their head. That does not mean that it works for the majority, and that does not mean it is the top recommendation.

[th1stleknight]

you phrased it as "I’m not changing the post based off of anecdotal evidence." because a system was telling you their experience. that response to their experience does come across as belittling when they were talking about their experiences. you pretty clearly don't actually think it is important if you say that to someone else specifically in a way to make their recovery experiences less important. just admit you are wrong and apologize about how you treat others and the ableism.

I did not say that “because they were telling me about their experience” nor was I saying that to make their experience less valid. I’ve stated dozens of times over the course of this argument that if it works for you then it works for you. I’ve never claimed that someone is invalid or their experiences unimportant because they chosen functional multiplicity, nor do I plan to.

I said that because they asked me to change my post based solely on their opinion and experiences.

Anecdotal evidence can be important without being a replacement for medical research, it is not ableist to say that.

I am not admitting to being wrong because I truly don’t believe that I am. If you disagree with me then that’s fine, but you cannot see inside my head, and you don’t know what I’m thinking.

[th1stleknight]

Not entirely sure what to say as I agree with you on pretty much all of this, but I just wanted to let you know that I’ve seen this :)

I’m going to stop answering the majority of reblogs & asks because it’s running in circles at this point.

I BEG yall to read the sources I’ve provided before you start arguing.

If you have a genuine source (medical paper, study, or book) of why final fusion / late stage integration is not more healthy than functional multiplicity then please send it to me and I will read it with an open perspective. Anecdotal evidence does not count. Blogs do not count.