that-lazy-snail

[that-lazy-snail]

when your stomach is really mad at you and you're not sure which one of your fourteen unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it

[that-lazy-snail]

got turned down for the job at the onion. turns out they write satire or something and don't need a guy to peel all the onions. crying my eyes out.

[that-lazy-snail]

don't judge a fic by its stats

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Spite can be a incredible motivator

[that-lazy-snail]

what annoys me about explaining evolution to people who don’t think it’s real is that everyone’s idea of how it works seems to be from this

Whereas the reality is far more like

[that-lazy-snail]

you know a joke that never EVER gets old is when a character says smth like “I will NOT go to [place] and that is FINAL” and then it cuts to them in that place I eat that shit up every single time

[that-lazy-snail]

i just saw a post on reddit titled "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" and it was about OP clicking off a fic because they don't like the direction it's going in. slightly different context but can we all be more like this reddit OP. i think "the writer is cooking but the food doesn't agree with me" should be the new "don't like don't read." dead doves may give you diarrhea but don't make that everyone else's problem.

[that-lazy-snail]

tumblr stop recommending me unrebloggable posts. Do you know how sad I got cuz I realized I couldn't reblog this

[that-lazy-snail]

Honestly, y'all, I'm begging you. Take the time to think and learn for yourself. Even if it's just something casual like knitting or cooking. Exercise your brain. It's important.

[that-lazy-snail]

headphones aren't enough. i need the song to stab me in the chest

[that-lazy-snail]

The fact that people don't think friendship is enough to justify characters doing insane acts of love for each other baffles me. Like have you never loved your friend so so much you want to live in their ribcage. Have you never been really weird about a friend. Have you never wanted to bite your friends parents or shove them down a staircase. Have you never wanted to be buried in the same grave as a friend. Have u never. How do u people live like this.

[that-lazy-snail]

i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.

as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."

NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING

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[that-lazy-snail]

i finally started rewatching black sails and when captain hume said "tell me something, mr. guthrie. do you have gossip here? ... i've often wondered if it can survive in so remote a location. you see, gossip is what holds civilization together. it reinforces shame. and without shame, well, the world is a very dangerous place." with flint in the room, i lost it a little.

[that-lazy-snail]

Some fanart of this ancient figurine! Also got commissioned to draw her hanging out with a friend!