thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

one thing me n my art loving gf would do is visit galleries and play a game called “root, loot or boot” 

the gist is that you would look at a group of paintings in a room and decide which figure in the painting you’d root (fuck, in Australian slang), which painting you’d loot (steal and put on your wall at home) and which painting you’d boot (punt into the garbage because it’s shit and Not Art)

a couple of things about my experiences:

1. this game is a lot more fun if you’re attracted to women because there’s so many Hot Gals to choose from 

2. if you are attracted to men, you will spend a lot of time going “well, looks like I’ll have to pick jesus again” as my bi gf did

3. it gets more complicated in modern art museums and you find yourself having saying, “I’d fuck the rhombus” “you CAN’T fuck the rhombus” “then I’ll fuck that blue squiggle thing. what’s it called?” “creeping existential dread in blue” “then does that mean I’m fucking the squiggle or am I getting fucked by the existential dread it represents?” “aren’t we all already getting fucked by existential dread?”

4. if you play this with an art history nerd, they may decide to kill you over one of your “boot” choices

5. you will get Disapproving Looks from other patrons who overhear your heated debates

6. it’s also the best fun you’ll ever have in an art gallery

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

when we try to befriend cats we mimic their meows and get down on the ground to their level and try to gently coax them to interact with us right

that horrifying entity mimicking human noises at us maybe just thinks we’re cool and wants to pet us?

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

A guy made good use of his time in lockdown and built a huge laughing Kookaburra.

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

reblog to send your mutuals a hug. maybe just the thought is enough to cheer them up 🥺

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

I was so obsessed with cutting keys. Yeah, your standard house keys in the US these days are probably an SC10 or a KW1, which is what I usually cut, but every once in a while someone would come in with a key for some closet in their house keyed back in 1913 and they’d be like “can you copy this” and I’d be like uhhhhhh and find some keys that haven’t even been in circulating since 1970 and I’d be like “let’s find out” and usually I could manage it but then the real challenge was for the manager to price the thing

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

Okay, but: Harry and Ron having a secret handshake.

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

daniel radcliffe calling out j.k. rowling on her bullshit is big dick energy

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

Anybody else, maybe with ADHD, see something but not SEE it?

Like as I was closing the fridge I saw the garlic and was like “oh yeah I have to put garlic in the stew” and when I reopened the fridge ten seconds later I had to search around for the garlic because I hadn’t SEEN it.

Just now I’m at a craft store, I saw the word “adhesive” but I didn’t SEE it so now I’m trying to find it again, a literal 2 seconds after I saw it.

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

nezu eventually makes mic get 2 parking passes since this is a regular occurance

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

friendly reminder that you didn’t waste your year. any moments of happiness or comfort, any small accomplishments, they all matter. this has been a really hard year, and simply surviving is something to be proud of. 

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

ONE OF THE SEXIEST CLIP ON THE INTERNET

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

Art by Maldha Mohamed

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

[thatoneweirdfriendfromouterspace]

“Various noises”  ‘A ruse!’  “He can do a lot, one of the most…Outstanding being to perfectly mimic things. If he knows what noise it makes, he can parrot it. Including other people’s voices if he has them fresh on his mind.” - Eraserhead