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She was a handful, but my life would have been so much drabber if she hadn’t been my friend. - Mark Hamill.

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“It turns out that it/she matters to me. Leia. Unfortunately. Sometimes I feel as if I’d rather concern myself with… almost anything. But as it happens I’ve spent the lion’s share of my life, starting at nineteen and continuing forty years on jauntily in the present, being as much myself as Pincress Leia. Answering questions about her, defending her, fed up with being mistaken for her, overshadowed by her, struggling with my resentment for her, making her my own, finding myself, keeping company with her, loving her… wishing she’d finally just go away and leave me to be myself alone, but then wondering who I’d be without her, finding out how proud I am of her, making sure I’m careful to not do anything that might reflect badly on her or that she might disapprove of, feeling honored to be her representative here on earth, her caretaker, doing my best to represent her, trying to understand how she might feel, doing what I can to be worthy of the gig, and then feeling beyond ridiculous and wishing that it would just fade away, leaving me to be who I was all those years ago.” ―The Princess Diarist

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Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)

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We love you, princess. 😞

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The Blog Awakens

II pretty much forgot about this little blog with the craziness of graduate school and work and just my naturally forgetful nature, but I’ve come back to vent some of my restless thoughts on The Force Awakens and the dialog about it online.

IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE 8 PEOPLE IN THE AUSTRALIAN BUSH WHO HAVE NOT YET SEEN THE NEW STAR WARS, DO NOT READ ON, AS THIS WILL BE A SPOILER.

First I will say, I really loved the movie. It was fun, and right away made me feel like I was back in the Star Wars universe I knew as a kid. The new characters are fresh, engaging, and interesting. I also thought--here’s the first controversial bit--the resurrection of Han & Leia was actually really well done. More on that in a bit.

But I wanted to address a few of the complaints about the movie by talking about what I got out of it--because a lot of the criticism is about things I that actually endeared TFA to me.

The ‘Recycled Plot’ Complaint

A lot of people are complaining that the plot was just a recycled, redressed Episode IV. I think a lot of people are mistaking the concept of plot with that of motif. 

Yes, there’s another doomsday planet-killing base. Yes, the story begins with secret plans being hidden in a droid who then sets off through a desert to find an unlikely (yet just the right) hero. That hero then enjoys a brief apprenticeship with an old-timer legend from the last generation of battles, who gives his life in the penultimate movement of the film.

These are character themes and circumstance framing that intentionally--and I argue, artfully--reflect the opening chapter of the original trilogy. When it comes down to the meat of the characters and who is actually moving through these roles and motifs, though, the landscape is completely changed. 

George Lucas himself (although not involved in the franchise revival) has often stated that Star Wars isn’t about spaceships. It’s a soap opera about broken families, set in a fantastical space-age galaxy. 

The fact that TFA didn’t take Starkiller Base in an entirely different direction from the previous Death Stars actually makes more sense then not. First of all, the doomsday weapon is not the point of the movie. Second, think about the idea of what makes a military superpower what it is. In real life, it’s nuclear weapons. That hasn’t changed in almost a century. Our political structures, the shape of how nations rise and fall while shifting from generation to generation, are not altogether different from ages past.

These are stage-settings that don’t need to be totally revamped in order to make a movie fresh. In fact, doing so actually makes a movie absurd, as many things did in the prequel trilogy.

Kylo Ren - a New Villain

Kylo Ren is a good example of what I’m talking about. I’ve heard and read lots of criticism of the character’s writing, and the performance by Adam Driver. Honestly, this villain was one of my favorite things about the new movie.

Recently I heard someone bashing the character, repeating complaints I’ve read online: “He’s whiny.” “He’s not as intimidating/in control as Vader was.” “He’s just a wannabe Vader, and that’s lazy writing.”

First of all, HE’S NOT VADER. If he was a carbon copy of the original Sith, you’d be bitching about that. The fact that he looks up to and wants to emulate Vader makes a lot of sense--DV was his grandfather, and also arguably the most successful dark Jedi in centuries. 

Second, Vader was in his forties in the OT. He’d been a Sith a long time. Kylo Ren is a young man still trying to earn his stripes with the Dark Side. He’s filled with rage (which the Dark Side is all about), and has lots of complicated reasons for it--yet he’s struggling with torturous doubts that he could and should stay with the Light. In this way, he’s really not a repeat of Darth Vader, even though he strives to evoke the same image. Kylo Ren really is the anti-Luke, coming of age in a dark inversion of the Luke we saw in Empire and Return of the Jedi. He’s simultaneously a very fresh character in the Star Wars universe and a harkening to themes stretching back a generation.

And I just don’t know how to respond to the “whiny” descriptor. I didn’t get that at all. And to the few who’ve compared Driver’s performance to Hayden Christensen in the prequels, there’s just no way for me to slap you over the internet.

Han & Leia

Han & Leia’s reunion was probably the nerdiest moment of my life. I didn’t blubber, but when Chewie walked up and they were all together again--well, had I been alone I would have wept openly. So maybe I’m biased.

To me, they seemed exactly like what they were supposed to be. Older versions of themselves, still in love and yet now carrying years worth of new lessons and heartaches. Their interaction was decidedly understated, as it would be with two people in mid-life who still loved each other but had drifted apart. 

And I don’t know what kind of overcooked Shakespeare zebra bullshit you people complaining about the dialog expected. This is how people actually talk. I didn’t think about the lines or who the writer was or what they were thinking. I felt like I was seeing Han & Leia again for the first time in a long time. Mission accomplished.

Any Complaints?

Yes, there are things I’m not completely sold on. I was confused by the logic in the Starkiller Base firing sequence. I wish they had returned to masterful puppetry to bring Maz Kanata to life rather than CGI--albeit great CGI. I mean, they had the skill to make BB-8 so real it fooled Neil Degrasse Tyson. But these are small issues--stormtrooper head-bonking stuff. 

What matters is I really felt transported back to the far, faraway galaxy that’s captured my imagination my whole life. That’s an A in my boo

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Of my friend, I can only say this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most… human.

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Annabelle

Annabelle is yet another volume for the annals of prequels that shouldn't have been. Sure, dolls can be creepy, but that doesn't mean you can build a film franchise on that.

To be fair, this movie has its moments. Namely, a couple of good pop-out-and-scare you gimmicks that I didn't see coming (although, if I had seen the original trailer beforehand, I would have--STOP SPOILING THINGS WITH YOUR TRAILERS). Other than that, this movie is wholly unscary and dangerously close to uninteresting.

It serves as a quasi-origin story for the doll Annabelle, which is possessed by some kind of demon that was summoned by a cult. The thing is, it's not a bad premise, and the filmmakers did well with some of the imagery. The few appearances by said demon serve as some of the best aspects of this from a horror perspective.

But the movie falls into the predictable tactics of using choppy editing and sudden, scary sounds that are really just part of the soundtrack and not even connected to something happening in the movie itself. 

Add to that the main protagonists are a young, white, upper-middle-class couple so cookie-cutter boring you honestly don't care if they die. Plus Alfre Woodard supports as a helpful, wise bookstore owner who's ready to commit suicide at the drop of a hat for whomever it might help. 

Recommended only for an evening where you'd like to jump a couple of times, but have plenty of snacks and snarky friends to watch with.

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Pain & Gain

This muscle-headed dark comedy recently came to Netflix streaming. Here's something of a feel-bad movie, the culmination of a story where you will hate all the characters, and the comedy just tiptoes over the line into too much darkness. Perhaps this is influenced by knowing it is a true story that revolves around and ends in death. Despite some laughs, I couldn't get away from the fact that the film was taking a silly, zany romp through the shattered lives of very real people.

Wahlberg, Mackie, and the Rock play three stupid yet ambitious muscle-heads who decide their ticket to the American dream is fraud, theft, and murder. Their evil genius is sorely lacking on genius, and we are aided in laughing at their insidious antics by the fact that their victim (played by Tony Shalhoub), is an even bigger dick than they are, which kind of leaves you wishing justice isn't served. Rebel Wilson is added to the mix, pretty much just playing herself. 

My take is, you could live without seeing Pain & Gain, but if you'd enjoy watching a bunch of people crash and burn in the absolute worst way possible, in a film that kind of suggests that the American Dream is to blame for it all (don't get me started), be a doer and hit it up. 

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Solar Crisis

This 1990 sci-fi Thriller stars Charlton Heston, a fact which I reminded myself of numerous times, with an incredulity that increased with each progressively stupid scene. My limited creativity could never find a way to exaggerate what a rotten turkey this film is.

From the moment the expository titles scroll up and a cheesy voice reads them to you, the film takes a sharp downhill trajectory and doesn't deviate. The acting is so terrible it almost eclipses the Star Wars prequel-esque writing. Almost.

In a film in which you'd expect to find a sea of nobodies, familiar faces abound, including Jack Palance, Peter Boyle, Tim Matheson, Dorian Harewood, and did I mention freaking Charlton Heston!?!?!?!

Here's the plot scoop: a solar mega-flare threatens the already scorched future earth, and an international team of scientists has a plan to stop it (the "Ra" mission--or maybe that was the name of the bomb. Whatever), but a scheming billionaire wants to sabotage their rescue efforts because he doesn't think there'll be any mega-flare. They tackle the question of just why the hell he'd go to the effort and expense of sabotaging something that is, at worst, unnecessary, by having him simply explain, "I'm invested in the future." It's supposed to make sense, I think.

Oh yeah, the iconic Moses portrayer is cast as the hard-nosed but family-oriented Admiral "Skeet" Kelso. His most memorable scene comes after chewing out his son (Captain of the "Ra" mission), petulantly requests, "Tell me you love me before you leave the room."

The sabotage plan relies heavily on brainwashing a lazy-eyed British hottie (played by fashion model Annabel Schofield, for whom this film should've served as an intervention for her acting career), who eventually overcomes the mental programming through a half-hour's worth of convulsing and some really, really poorly-animated blood, just in time to stop the bomb at the last second with a simple voice command.

This movie is terrible, and it's not worthy of Charlton Heston. It's not even worthy of Dolph Lundgren. But damn it's fun to mock. So grab some cheap wine and see it tonight on Netflix streaming.

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New Town Killers

This movie came out in 2008, and despite the unfortunate coincidence in the title, has nothing to do with the tragic shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary.

Rather, this is a tense, gritty, British take on the same basic plot as the 90's Van Damme feature, Hard Target.

While Van Damme's action flick relied mostly on show-boating martial arts and cinema's glossiest mullet, New Town centers on Sean (James Anthony Pearson), a laid-back young Brit struggling to get by in a horrible economy. The film is peppered throughout with newscasts and a not-so-subtle commentary on the Western world's economic slump of that year. The desperation of Sean's life is presented as a strong symbol of how the actions of the "1%" affected the rest of the people.

When his deadbeat sister's debts come due, Sean's crisis forces him to consider extreme measures. After realizing he won't be able to stomach prostitution, he finally considers an ominous stranger's offer of an elaborate game of "hide and seek". Agreeing, Sean realizes very quickly (albeit too late) that this is a deadly game.

Chased relentlessly by the sadistic Alistair (Dougray Scott), Sean must survive the night while also protecting his friends and sister.

There are a couple corners cut by this drawn-out chase, such as how Sean gets down from a building he's climbing on the outside of (he seems to skip three or four floors), and how Alistair can shoot people down and stomp skulls throughout the night without catching the attention of law enforcement--but I think the absence of help and refuge is one of the film's economic themes.

Quick-paced, dark, and more thrilling than the utterly campy Hard Target, New Town Killers is available on Netflix streaming.

B+

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Parker

Jason Statham as Jason Statham in Jason Statham. But this time, there's J-Lo, and your fourth-favorite action Brit attempts a Texas accent. Move along.

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Oblivion

Finally got to see Oblivion this week, after waiting quite a while for it to come to Redbox. I feel like this one was gone from theaters kind of quick--but, it's really a fantastic movie.

Visually, Oblivion is very striking. While much of the sci-fi universe wanders nightscapes and the post-apocalyptic genre lurks in alleys and industrial centres, this movie takes both out in the bright daylight, in wide-open spaces. 

Opinions on Tom Cruise are wide-ranging and always extreme, but one thing I know for sure is that he is always sold out to the role he plays. Oblivion is driven strongly by his always-convincing performance.

[Semi-Spoiler Alert] The plot is perplexing in just the right way (impressive for a film with such a small cast), though if you saw the much smaller sci-fi drama Moon (also recommended), you might see one of the twists coming. Even still, there's more than meets the eye to Oblivion.

Intense, unexpected, beautiful to look at. A very enjoyable future flick!

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Edison Force

Every time I've gotten on Netflix for the past six months or so, this title is sitting there looking at me like, "Hey, watch me. I'm a cop drama! I'm under 'Thrillers', too! I've got Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman!"

And I'm like, "Buuuuut you have LL Cool J and Justin Timberlake, too, so I don't know."

But I found myself stuck at home sick (again, I know) and Edison Force finally wore me down.

This corrupt-cop-virtuous-reporter thrill ride takes place in the world where police officers will use military-grade machine guns with little provocation, everything explodes, and Justin Timberlake is a reporter.

Yes, the absurdities abound in this movie. I mean, it starts off with Dylan McDermott (part of a made-up arm of the police known as FRAT) shooting an armed gunman through a female teenage hostage. After which, he kneels next to the bleeding and traumatized girl, lights a cigarette, and says, "Don't worry, he can't hurt you anymore." Like she's scared of the other guy.

And yeah, Kevin Spacey and Morgan Freeman are inexplicably in this crap. Freeman actually gives a good performance, though he seems like the one tree that can withstand this hurricane of cinematic BS. Spacey only shows up when he absolutely has to, and when he does he doesn't want to leave his buddy Freeman's side.

The chief of police breaks up a fistfight between two of his officers by shooting one of them in the head. In the police HQ. During the work day. And when FRAT's nefarious underbelly is threatened by the stalwart TImberlake, rather than fight and obfuscate and bribe their way to freedom as the legal process provides opportunity, the bad guys simply get out there guns and fire unlimited clips at anyone who looks like a squealer.

It's ok if you're into that sort of thing.

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The Wolverine!

Did you see The Wolverine this last weekend? If not, I can understand why. Opening weekend is intimidating with summer blockbusters, and this latest feature from our favorite adamantium-clawed Canadian promised to be one of the biggest. And who wants to stand in line?

Well, I did--and I hardly ever do! And what I got was a solid summer thrill-pop adventure that is quite satisfying. Hugh Jackman's X-man is as fierce and formidable as ever, and it's nice that they throw some villains at him who actually shake things up.

The plot is decent, though a bit convoluted, and sometimes seems to be wandering about looking for the way it was going before the fighting broke out. The path twists mostly through foreign lands, and the supporting characters come from a more obscure realm of the Marvel Universe than your typical X-Men or Avengers. Non-comic-nuts may feel a little lost.

You may notice a couple little plot-holes that are conveniently swept under the rug, and whether they're of the forgivable variety, you'll have to decide. For me they were.

Solid action and good story, and while I think the summer peaked with Man of Steel, it's still in full swing with Wolvy. Check it out!

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Nick of Time

I was feeling in the mood for a 90's thriller, which is what was promised in the description of Nick of Time, now available on Netflix streaming. Add to that Johnny Depp and Chrisopher Walken on the actors' list, and I thought I had a shoe-in.

Nope. Complete crap. Literally, on the palatable scale, this movie rates right around feces.

Nick of Time starts off with two assassins (played by Walken and Roma Maffia) who have the worst assassination plan ever: pick up a stranger at the local train station and force them to kill the governor of Texas.

We begin by getting a glimpse of them scouting for a potential "recruit"... and all they need to see is Gene Watson (Depp) trip a rollerblader who'd been harassing his daughter to know he's the guy.

As if this wasn't ridiculous enough, the insipidness of this story takes exponential leaps. The assassins, claiming to be police officers, snatch Watson's daughter and run off. After being forced into a van with her, he still believes they're police officers. Furthermore, he hardly seems even irritated at this bizarre behavior, let alone enraged and incredulous like, I don't know, any half-alive parent would be.

In fact, Depp seems to have phoned it in for this performance. He's utterly emotionless through the entirety of the film. It's like he just graduated from the Kristen Stewart school of acting.

Anyway, it turns out that some state-level conspiracy group wants to kill the governor of Texas. We're not sure why; the only reason we ever get is, "all the broken promises." Now Gene Watson's daughter is in a van with an assassin until he does the deed.

Watson blunders from one failed attempt to get help to the next, as the clumsy conspiracy unravels as each player carelessly implicates himself. All the while, Walken's on him like a hawk, and people are punching each other and waving guns around all in broad daylight at a busy hotel, and nobody seems to think it out of the ordinary.

Walken does deliver probably the only decent slivers of this film, with a couple of psycho monologues seemingly written just for him to snarl  out in his singularly creepy style. Other than that, this "thriller" is nothing more than a half-baked and rather boring attempt at an assassination flick.

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Finally...

Finally--FINALLY--they've done it. They made an outstanding Superman film! I highly recommend you go see Man of Steel this weekend. Even non-comic fans will enjoy this movie. Great performances by a lot of familiar faces. Zack Snyder proves that you can craft a deep, emotional character in Kal-El--an orphan of globally tragic origins--and also make him a badass.

Semi-Spoilers

Man of Steel also makes no effort to hide the artistic parallels between Superman and Jesus. While the premise has always borne some resemblance (a father from an infinitely advanced world sending his son to be a savior to a primitive race), Snyder fleshes it out even more in a myriad of little details. Kal officially enters his superhero career at age 33, when Jesus is believed to have done most of his recorded work. Much of his Kryptonian father's dialogue (played by Russell Crowe) is very reminiscent of words spoken of Jesus in the Bible. There's even a scene in a church where Kal appears juxtaposed to a stained-glass Jesus in the background.

Those are some surface observations. I think I will write more about that when I've watched the movie a couple more times (which I'll be happy to do). For the time being, I highly recommend this as an awesome summer movie! I thoroughly enjoyed myself, and, while you may believe I'm biased in the superhero realm (and with DC characters in particular), I'm not afraid to say when I'm disappointed (Green Lantern, anyone?). I also, as the first line of this post implies, don't care for pretty much any other Superman film at all.

Man of Steel is exciting, enjoyable, and worth the holiday crowd.

PS. there's no post-credits teaser. Bummer! Was hoping for a little Justice League crumb... anything!

[thatwasforeverago-blog]

Following you because you like Red Lights ^^ When I read the title, I thought you'd be bashing it like everyone else, so I was ready to argue to death, but it actually made me smile. I suppose unpredictible things don't only happen in films.

Definitely enjoyed it! So glad to pleasantly surprise you =)