the-bored-bisexual

[the-bored-bisexual]

Hecate: Listen, kid-

Mildred: Call me Mildred, please.

Hecate: I'd rather not. If I named you, I might get attached...

[the-bored-bisexual]

Hecate: I'm adopting a child.

Mildred: That's great!

Hecate, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you. Sign here.

[the-bored-bisexual]

Arabella: Dimity, I am cold.

Dimity: Here, have my jacket.

Hecate: Pipsqueak, I am cold.

Pippa, setting herself on fire: Not on my damn watch.

[the-bored-bisexual]

[texting]

Pippa: JsheiebKkIVJNLÖmw89

Hecate: What is that?

Pippa: It's a keysmash

Hecate: How do I do it?

Pippa: Just press anything

Hecate: 7

[the-bored-bisexual]

Hecate: Pippa and I don't use pet names.

Dimity: so...what do bees make?

Hecate: Honey?

Pippa: Yes, dear?

Hecate:

Dimity: Don't ever lie to my face again.

[the-bored-bisexual]

Dimity: Everyone knows you two are a couple

Hecate: That is nOt tRuE. What an aBsUrd idea!

Dimity: Everyone, raise your hand if you think Hecate and Pippa are a couple!

Everyone: (raises their hands)

Hecate: Pippa put your hand dOwN!

[the-bored-bisexual]

Hecate: I am so sorry about the mean things I said

Pippa:

Hecate:

Hecate: ...I am assuming the fact that your hand is now on my ass means you accept my apology

[the-bored-bisexual]

Pippa: Do you want to hear a chemistry joke?

Hecate: ...

Pippa: Is that a no?

Hecate: Oh, I'm sorry, were you looking for a reaction?

[the-bored-bisexual]

Mildred *hugging HB*: You smell like parental figure.

Hecate: please stop

[the-bored-bisexual]

Hecate: Yes, well, I hate you.

Pippa: No, no you don't.

Hecate [bitterly]: No, no I don't.

[the-bored-bisexual]

Mildred: So what's it like dating HB?

Pippa: Once, I asked her for water while she was pissed at me, and she brought me a glass full of ice and said "wait".

[the-bored-bisexual]

Ada: I wish you'd just admit when you've made a mistake

Hecate, calmly stirring her coffee: I prefer it with salt

[the-bored-bisexual]

Pippa: Can you at least acknowledge that you have a rather large capacity for anger?

Hecate: When I am asked a stupid question, yes.

[the-bored-bisexual]

Hecate: I've been dropping subtle hints that I like her.

Pippa: *walks in*

Hecate: Go away.

[the-bored-bisexual]

Mildred: Yeeted

Enid: Yote

Mildred: YEETED

Enid: YOTE

Hecate: I just want to know who threw Ethel out of the window

[the-bored-bisexual]

Mildred: I'M TOO HOT

Mildred: *points at Hecate*

Mildred: :D

Mildred: :D

Mildred: :D

Hecate: *sighs*

Hecate: *monotone with deadpan expression* Hot damn

Pippa from the room next door: CALL THE POLICE AND THE FIRE MAN

[the-bored-bisexual]

Hecate: I never throw up. I just tell my stomach to deal with it. My body is terrified of me.