#incorrect hecate hardbroom

[perfectlysafeandhealthy]

Agatha: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it. Hecate: Agatha. no. Ada: Mistlefoe. Hecate: Please stop encouraging her.

[incorrect0hicsqueak]

Hecate: It states in your file that you’re creative?

Mildred: Yes

Hecate: And what is it that you create?

Mildred: Trouble

[bogwaterrr]

*Pippa and Dimity sitting in jail together*
Dimity: So who should we call?
Pippa: I’d call Hecate, but I feel safer in jail

[the-bored-bisexual]

Arabella: Dimity, I am cold.

Dimity: Here, have my jacket.

Hecate: Pipsqueak, I am cold.

Pippa, setting herself on fire: Not on my damn watch.

[mprxng]

Pippa: you need to rest hiccups. It's 3 am.

Hecate : I just awake at night like a bat.

Pippa : no baby you awake all the time.

Hecate : that's even better.

Pippa : No!! It's worse.

[ceo-of-ethred]

Hecate: This food is too hot, I can't eat it.

Pippa: You're hot, but I still eat you.

Mildred, slamming her hands on the table: ONE DINNER.

Mildred: ONE PEACEFUL DINNER IS ALL I ASK.

[agathasslutt]

Ada: I wish we could block people in real life

Pippa: A restraining order

Hecate: Murder

[well-met-and-good-day-to-you-sir]

Pippa: this year for hallowe'en, i got the bats that are smiling. It's more realistic.

Hecate: why is it more realistic?

Pippa: cause they're happy! It's their favorite holiday!

[somebody-already-took-this-url]

Hecate: welcome to the “fuck Agatha” support group, where we all gather to give a collective “fuck you” to our least favourite witch

Hecate: but first, would our newest member like to say a few words? Miss Gullett?

Geraldine, sweating nervously: I may have slightly misunderstood the meaning of this group

[magicstarduckling2014]

Hecate: Describe yourself in one word

Pippa: Yours

Hecate: Disgusting

Heacte: *voice cracking* Say it again

[perfectlysafeandhealthy]

Hecate: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Ada: You sleep with your familiar .

Hecate: She’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

[incorrect0hicsqueak]

Hecate: I never thought I'd say this out loud, but I miss Pippa

Mildred: well I have good news and bad news

Hecate: What's the good news?

Mildred: the good news is that you won't have to miss her anymore

Hecate: and the bad news?

Mildred, gesturing to a beaming Pippa behind her: she just heard everything you said

[bogwaterrr]

Mildred : On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? 
Enid: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Maud? 
Maud: Probably “road work ahead”. 
Hb: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

[the-bored-bisexual]

Hecate: Listen, kid-

Mildred: Call me Mildred, please.

Hecate: I'd rather not. If I named you, I might get attached...

[mprxng]

Pippa: I love you

Hecate: so..

Pippa: Please let me

Hecate: go..

[ceo-of-ethred]

Mildred: why is Miss Pentangle crying in the bathroom?

Hecate: She’s drunk.

Mildred: And?

Hecate: She heard that I’m married.

Mildred: But she’s your wife!

Hecate: *sighs* I know.