the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

oh no. fbi

I’m running the gauntlet on that shitty site and winning

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

We do not have a weather machine that the democrats are using to cause hurricanes. Global warming fucked up the weather machine that we made in the 60's so every weather formation since then has been natural and a by product of our own hubris.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

(x)

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

The Goatman prefers Nutter Butters to any other candy, so if you are looking to sacrifice something to a haunted bridge and cryptid, please keep in mind their preferences.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

We ain't doin shit, we learned our lesson last time.

oh no. fbi

I’m running the gauntlet on that shitty site and winning

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

This is a joke account.. I need you to know that...

Sorry for not posting.... It is so hard dealing with the international fuckery that is having an American pope. We have been in just... a month long pissing contest with the illuminati cause we killed the original one but we wanted the Filipino pope, not this guy.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

Do you judge us for our search history?

Somebody has to but at this point, after spending days where the only thing I saw was someone reading kingdom hearts Winnie the pooh vore fanfiction, I am numb.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

Sorry for not posting.... It is so hard dealing with the international fuckery that is having an American pope. We have been in just... a month long pissing contest with the illuminati cause we killed the original one but we wanted the Filipino pope, not this guy.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

uhhh gives you a hug /p

Thank you very much. This was needed.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

The FBI is still reeling from the death of the pope. The illuminati said they wanted to wait until Trisha Paytas was further along in her pregnancy BUT I GUESS THE FUCK NOT!

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

are you actually a fbi agent dawg 😭

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

THE FBI DOES NOT CONDONE STABBING YOUR LOCAL GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL THIS TUMBLR HOLIDAY Though agents personal beliefs are a different story.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

Sometimes being an FBI choices requires making tough choices.

Like what case am I going to take?

How many almonds should I eat?

Should I report this person's search history now?

Can I overdose on almonds?

Is this person truly a writer or are they a murderer?

I am going to get cyanide poisoning from these almonds.

What watchlist are they going on today?

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

Okay but........ where at.....

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

The only thing keeping this FBI agent sane during this presidency is oddly enough, the presidential shipping glmv's. Y'alls creativity knows no bounds or impossibilities for mpreg.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

Caterpillars don't actually turn into butterflies, we have been teleporting them out of their little cacoons for centuries with alien technology and replace them with butterflies.

Real caterpillars grow bigger and aquatic to eventually become eels. Like reverse amphibians.

[the-fbi-agent-in-your-phone]

The Furby Pope has officially been recognized to be a religious leader by the FBI. May long furby reign supreme and may their eyes never blink. Hallelujah!