the-girl-in-the-silhouette - Tumblr blog

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

It's exhausting you know

can this pandemic end already i'm tired and i can't do this anymore

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

Often times, I'm scared. I lost lots of opportunities because I am scared of everything.

I am struggling right now, but Im still pretending that I'm fine, so people wont ask me about it. I don't want to talk about it, because they will just blame me for feeling that way.

I am not okay, and I hate it.

Anxiety sucks, I want to achieve my dreams, but im fucking scared to make a move, because there's always a voice telling me that "I can't do it". I'm lost in life, and I can't find my way back home.

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

"toxic"

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

"I think about what it would be like to find true, honest love often.. like maybe it would set my heart on fire, but it would probably be softened. I wonder at times if there is someone out there for me, but then again it could just be another fantasy.. my life isn't perfect, but then either is yours. I just hope it is something beautiful that my life has in store, a bliss unlike any other, a special kiss from the lips of my life lover.. but my world is like the stars, it goes out every night when my eyes close, and when I wake it's like a silent heart. Each beat a pitter patter, a whisper that I want to roar.. no more nights alone, I want special, something more than lore. I want love, simply put.. so I can wipe away the tears and soot, and end with a happy chapter in my book."

Just a long ass poem by a lonely guy who hopes to one day meet his other half, to find love in all of it's splendor.. no name for this poem, just feelings and stuff - eUe

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”

— Nicholas Sparks (via resqectable)

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

Your girl is afraid that one day, you will say

“Sorry we’re done.”

“I’ve found another one.”

“I was drunk at that time.”

“I am happier when I’m by her side.”

I understand that sometimes relationship gets boring, it gets tiring. Sometimes you’ll find another girl and attraction starts to fade.

Yes, this happens most of the time. But, one thing we should always keep in mind.

Cheating is a choice. Letting yourself fall for another person is a choice. Letting temporary lust and infatuation consume you is a choice.

It takes a real man to fight off temptations. It takes a real man to fall in love a hundred times with the same person.

Now the question is, what would you choose?

— Prince Umpad

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

don’t shut down.

don’t shut everyone out.

don’t shut yourself up in your own head.

do not self destruct.

please.

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

People say that you never really fall out of love. It’s either you still love them and you’re just in denial or you never really love them in the first place. But believe me when I say I did love you. You were the one who catch me when I was falling. I wish I’m just in denial, but I don’t want us to believe in something that is not certain. I don’t want you to stay in my company when you deserve the whole world.

It did not start overnight but one day I just feel like I’m waiting for something that isn’t going to happen. Maybe it’s because I want you to change into a completely different person- either that or I want to bring back the old you. I want that person who’s willing to move mountains for me- because I feel like you’re letting me slip like a river into the open sea. And then those endless fights get into me. All I want was to feel that you’re still there but I feel like everything is pointless. I no longer feel safe and warm- I became scared. I became scared to the point that the butterflies in my stomach died and burn into ashes that hurts my lungs when I try to choke it out. I used to cry myself to sleep because of too much emotion in my chest but now I lay wide awake at night- devoid of any feelings. I ceased to believe in 11:11 wishes but at 3AM, I still wonder why everything is not working out. Believe me when I say I did try to bring the sparks and flames back but love is not about that. It should be about trusting your feelings for the other because at the end of the day, you know it would still be you and it will always be you. But I drowned in so much insecurity, frustration and all the negative feelings that I locked myself in my own trap that no one could save me. Not even you. It’s cliche but it’s not you- it’s me. I know this is selfish and these are not acceptable reason but I feel that you of all the people deserve an explanation.

Above all this, there is one thing certain for now- no one falls out of love by chance- it’s always by choice. I’m sorry if this is what I chose. I’m sorry that I am not worthy enough. And please, please love again. It’s a wonderful feeling and I’m thankful I get to experience that. You deserve someone who can trust their own feelings. I’m sorry I can’t be that person anymore.

I guess this is when forever  becomes over. I’m sorry for being selfish. I’m sorry if I chose to love myself more.

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

“Pain changes people, it makes them trust less, overthink more, and shut people out.”

— Unknown

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

Just a gentle reminder from a moon rabbit ♥   °˖✧*•  Shop, Patreon, Book, Mailing List *•. ✧˖°`

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

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A post shared by deep texts and quotes 🙇🏼‍♀️ (@deeptextfeels) on Jul 13, 2019 at 9:51am PDT

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

Dear You,

Goodbye. It seemed like a foreign word to people like us. The people who always found a way back to each other.

I wanted us to make it. I wanted to believe everything you said. I didn’t want it all to be a lie. I’m stubborn. I didn’t want them to be right about you. The truth is, I really thought I saw something in you. It was something good enough that made me stay longer than I should have.

And in my heart, I still think you’ll be that person, one day. But I also knew even at my best, I wasn’t going to be the one to change you. I couldn’t. It had to come from you. Because all the love and best intentions weren’t going to cut it.

I couldn’t keep trying. I couldn’t keep giving my best and getting your worst. I couldn’t keep pretending like it wasn’t emotionally destroying me, I couldn’t keep getting blamed for something that wasn’t my fault. The cost of trying to turn you into the man I knew you would be, came with self-destruction and hurting myself to get there.

I couldn’t keep waiting for respect. I couldn’t keep loving you for both of us.

I couldn’t keep up with some game, where all you did was change the rules. And no matter how long I played, I wasn’t going to learn it or ever come out winning. For so long, I wanted to win and that’s why I stuck it out. But I soon realized, the right person didn’t have to be won over.

I was chewed up and spit out and tested, time and time again.

It was every ending and beginning, on repeat.

And then you made me think it was love. I believed in love before you. I hoped for it. I had faith in it. You tarnished my definition and turned love dark in my eyes.

I accepted you at your worst and thought I was entitled to you at your best.

You kept me walking on eggshells. I was always walking on eggshells with you, terrified of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

You weren’t supposed to become my relationship norm and I hate myself for letting that happen.

I hated myself for becoming so numb.

I looked at you with the love I should have given myself.

It was so difficult giving up on you and walking away.

I had this cold realization that you might have loved me in your own weird way but it would never be what I needed. Your love was just something I wanted so badly.

I didn’t want love to be defined by pain.

I want you to know I forgive you. But more than that I’ve learned to forgive myself for accepting such things and letting it go on longer than it should have.

I’ll learn to love myself the way you couldn’t. I’ll learn to treat myself the way you weren’t able to. I’ll learn to love again in a way that it doesn’t hurt next time.

You were the relationship I unknowingly got sucked into like some vortex, I couldn’t escape from but it was through enduring it, I found the strength within myself to walk away and never look back.

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

I don’t wanna fight anymore, I’m just too tired.

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

If you ever want to know whether you’re still in love with someone or not just ask yourself:

Do I want to look at you for the rest of my life?

You’ll have your answer.

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

I get jealous easily because I know I'm easy to replace :(

[the-girl-in-the-silhouette]

Sometimes I’ll watch a show everyday for three weeks then stop for two days and never watch that show again. And it’s not a testament to the quality of the show, I’ll tell you that much. People get bored for no reason. People lose interest in interesting things just because they’re people. Now apply that to other parts of your life; some things aren’t your fault.