the-heavyset-heartthrob

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

Y’all, I really loved my outfit the other day. Lately, I’ve been trying to find ways to make myself feel good, and there are times where an outfit can boost your confidence 100x over — I felt great, put together, and confident in how I looked. Even received comments like: “I love this era for you!” or “Those sandals are such a vibe.” — It’s the little things. It really is.

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

If people cannot appreciate and celebrate your glow, then you have no choice but to glow even fucking brighter. ✨

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

Fat is not a bad word. Since I don’t look like every other guy in my close circle or on social media, it takes a while to be okay with that. To be different. But different is good. Embrace that. You’re not supposed to look like everyone else. If you did, the who would you be?

“Comparison is the thief of joy” is the phrase I keep hearing. I guess they’re right. I compare myself to others every day. It’s hard not to. People on TV? Done it. My friends who are thinner than me? Absolutely. It’s a never ending cycle of total bullshit. I’ve never felt like I was good enough for anything; for myself, for my friends, for love, etc. because of my body, how I look, and for my weight … and unfortunately, in a lot of ways, I still don’t feel like I am.

Those feelings aren’t always set in reality. At the end of it all, my body doesn’t (and shouldn’t) have an impact of how the world treats me. I’m my own person and that’s enough on its own. With me embracing who I am and learning to love me more each day, eventually my mindset will change. I know I’m a good person and that is more than enough.

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

Hello friends! This morning, I want to talk about body positivity, having a safe space, having support systems, and having safe friends to be yourself with.

Truthfully, this is something that I’ve wanted my whole life in many different instances, but in this particular moment, where I am being more vulnerable in a way that I’ve never been before, with something that is personal to me, with something that has dictated so much of my life, I truly do believe it is important to have a group (or just even one person) that you can be open and be safe with while you’re exploring your newfound self-love and body positivity.

My best friend and I have a very close relationship, and he has watched me struggle over the last year and a half trying to lose weight and it’s been a very hard battle and we’ve butted heads a lot. Because, let’s face it, I’m an insecure little baby who thinks the world is against him. That’s the trauma, babe.

My best friend is, and I say this with love, a hot white twink that doesn’t really understand fat people shit. He is 5’6, 130 pounds soaking wet, and he is never had to experience the fat lifestyle and all the discrimination and pain that has come with it, so him and I don’t always see eye to eye, but I think the difference is is that he is willing to listen and understand and learn, because I’m someone that he is chosen to have a close relationship with, he loves me, and he wants to support me in anyway that he can.

This includes my self love journey now.

I bring this up because a conversation that him and I have had in the last week or so, as I have been exploring this new era of my life. He stated that he is more than willing to hold my hand through this journey, and he has offered himself as a safe space and a safe person to be more open and vulnerable with; he said that he’s willing to have me be shirtless in front of him so I can feel more comfortable doing that with other people — I think that’s a really beautiful thing to have, because so often, we feel very lonely and isolated and that no one is really willing to see us or look at us with anything other than disgust.

At least in my experience. 😅

So I just want to reiterate that I think it’s incredibly important to have someone in your life that loves you enough to embrace the uncomfortable, and walk alongside you in a journey that you desperately need to take. It’s not always fun to do things alone, but if you have someone who’s willing to walk with you and love you through the hard moments of this journey, it’s going to benefit you quite a lot. I’m very grateful to my best friend and all that he has done for me, and even though our lives have been different, I’m very grateful that he has seen past my exterior and loved me for the person that I am regardless of my body. And I hope everyone gets to have a person like that in their lives, it’s very special.

We all need personal growth, but it’s absolutely necessary to have people that are willing to grow with you.

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

Plus sized men are gorgeous and deserve love 😌

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

STOP MAKING CHUBBY BOYS FEEL UNATTRACTIVE!!!

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

How do I say I wish there was more male focused body positivity not in a weirdo MRA incel way but in more of a I feel like fat men face unique forms of discrimination and stereotyping way.

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

Just sitting outside in the California sun, trying to get some color on my skin. Thinking out loud and just being more comfortable with being myself, as I am.

It’s the 4th of July here, so while most people are shooting off fireworks and celebrating the country’s independence, I’m celebrating myself and my own independence at the same time.

I’ve enjoyed being outside a lot more lately.

Let’s keep that up this summer. ☀️

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

Someone once said: “Do one thing every day that scares you” — Posting this shirtless mirror photo genuinely scares me. Why? Because I’m scared of being judged and being perceived negatively for what I look like. But truthfully, why should I? I’m not the only chunky boy out there. In fact, there’s thousands — perhaps millions of us out there.

We’re so preconditioned to feel immense shame. I don’t particularly want to feel like that anymore.

Will I absolutely love my body to the very end? No, probably not. That’s normal. We all have issues and hang ups. But I want to be more comfortable and at peace with it as I progress. It’s not easy, but I’m pushing myself to be shirtless more often, to get used to it, just with myself. It’s a start, right?

Yeah, I am sort of uncomfortable because I’m so used to being covered up like a devout Mormon for the last 20+ years of my life, even during the hot summer months, but I’m just over that.

In the grand scheme of things, I’m big, sure. Yeah, I am overweight, true. No arguments — but I’m not that bad. I need to realize that more. I’m working on not just the outside but the inside too. No amount of weight loss or exercise is going to make you love yourself. And I think that the self love is probably more important than anything else now.

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

Posting these revealing photos of myself to tell myself and to show that you can be sexy at any size and shape. Beauty is from within; not a number, a shirt size, or a body type — For so long, I felt trapped in my body (and this self love and confidence journey is brand new and I’m pushing myself), but now I feel empowered to be more open and be a little sexier.

At the end of the day, it’s MY body. Not yours. And if you don’t like how my body looks, just don’t look.

I’m not hurting you or putting you out. I am a human being with a body that is bigger than a lot, and yeah, I’m working on that for myself. And that’s what it should have been the whole time … I think I wanted approval from others so badly, so that I could hear that what I’m doing is actually good enough, but the sad realization is that unless they have lived the same life as you have, they can’t relate and they can’t support you in the way that you want them to.

Fighting for myself and pushing my own boundaries and letting down my own walls is so damn scary to me and I’m fearful of making others uncomfortable with my body. When you’ve been told your whole life that your body is big and therefore wrong, it sticks with you for a long time and you cannot fully accept that not everyone isn’t fatphobic and rude. I know I struggle with that to this day. But at the end of it all, I want to embrace myself more and feel hot, too.

The road to self love and self confidence is a long and arduous one that is not an overnight fix, it’s just not. But I am in a new era of wanting a change.

That’s that on that, babe. Thanks for listening.

[the-heavyset-heartthrob]

Hello friends! 👋

My name is Josh and I’m here to introduce myself to you: You don’t know me, I’m not famous, I’m not an influencer or a model. I’m just an average dude from California — For my entire life, I have struggled with my weight, with my body image and self esteem, my self worth, and the list goes on. As of late, I want to fight back and I want to be on the rise towards more self love for me and all the I am. I haven’t loved myself for a very very long time and I want to practice self love more and be more open.

In doing this for myself, I hope to possibly create a community of people who are dealing with the same things as I am, and we can learn and grow together. I want to be more open and transparent and vulnerable about my body, I want to show it off more so that I can appreciate it for what it is now and how it changes.

Since November 2022, I’ve been on a weight loss journey as well and I’ve hit a lot of bumps and it’s caused a lot of issues for me and my connections with others. It’s brought up a lot of bad feelings and has made me very upset and I’ve pushed a lot away, and I need to work on that. I need to work on me, too.

To make this short as I can: This is my safe space to post more revealing photos to feel more at peace with who I am, and to speak my feelings about the whole journey (good and bad, happy and sad). Life is truly a mixed bag, and I am no exception. All I want is to push myself to a better level of confidence and treat myself better and with more love.

If you wish to follow, that would mean so much. You are welcome here, you are welcome to have a place here. And I hope that we can all grow and work together towards a better sense of self.

Love to all who may find me,

Josh ❤️