the-hypnic-jerk - Tumblr blog

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Covet, Kobold wild magic sorcerer and certified dumb baby

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it ain't easy being a dragon 😔

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My DnD character Soup Spoon! She's a kobold cleric :]

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im so proud of him 🥺

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APRIL FOOLS ft. @koalaphoenix

Get kobolded idiot

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i made myself into a baldurs gate oc. im gonna throw this guy at astarion because shipping him of all people with a fucking kobold is so funny to me

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Kobolds sure are a handful…

I saw this image and knew I had to make a (badly drawn, sorry) kobold version of it

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My fav rat grinder🐞

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Electrical engineer kobold

A new zappy kobold! She’s up for grabs here: https://ych.art/auction/144331

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Social(ly anxious) creatures

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Old kobold with rusty-looking scales. Except for the top of their head, which is kept shiny because their dragon keeps headpatting the rust away

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Box O’ Bolds

Finished this sketch I had lying around :3

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little kobold getting a lotta praise ✨

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Valentine's Date

A short story based on my OCs Tulvyh and Wenski, a gnoll and mousefolk lesbian couple, having a surprise date on a special day.

Temperature very quickly raises to an almost uncomfortably warm degree, as the surounding, tight confines of the mecha rumble and shake.

A large gnoll woman with a slicked back top cut sits in the seat of the mecha, hands and feet on the controls, a nervous smile on her face.

A substantially small mouse woman, with a bob cut, strapped to the gnoll the size of a toddler sitting in the gnoll's lap. She nervously graps the gnolls arm as the chassis of the mecha shakes again, her eyes closed tight.

"It's just re-entry, don't worry." The gnoll says, softly.

The mouse snaps her eyes open and pulls her hand back in a huff, "I know it's re-entry! Doesn't-" She stops and takes a breath realizing how snappy she's sounding, her southern manerisms probably making it sound worse than it is, "It doesn't mean I hate it any less." She crosses her arms. As the chassis rumbles again, she looks up passed the many buttons on the dashboard. She confident the mecha will hold, but... her worries about space flight constantly gnaw at her.

The gnoll gives the mouse a small kiss on the back of her head.

Despite everything about the situation gnawing and discomforting her, the kiss is like the gentle soft bed she needed to know everything was going to be okay. Her shoulders loosen, tension she didn't even know she was holding melting away as she takes a deep breath and just lays back into her wife's lap, at least as much as the harness will allow.

The cockpit is silent for a while between the two of them. Small metallic rumbles and shakes continue for almost five minutes before it's replaced with the sound of engines winding up.

The gnoll flips several switches on the dashboard above, returning her hand to the controls and pressing buttons, felxing her feet in the controls at the base of the cockpit and causing a muffled but loud rumbling coming from behind the two occupants.

Almost immediately, the mouse tenses up again, her eyes shutting and staying shut as the rumbling continues, nothing but the black of her eyelids as the rumbling and wooshing around the cockpit changes and shifts.

Metallic clanks move and shift as the gnoll confidently moves and shifts her weight in the controls, "I'm going to turn on the display. You don't have to open your eyes, but... it's going to be really pretty." the gnolls soft voice says behind the mouse as she flips another set of switches.

The mouse takes several more breaths, before, "Okay." Opening her eyes she see's the wall panels of the mecha had lit up in a holographic image of what was outside of the mecha.

The mecha was descending slowly down the surface of a rolling hillside, lit up by a beautiful pink sun. Sprawling fields of uncountable colored flowers all billowing in the winds as petals of all colors flutter through the sky.

"H-" The mouse goes to speak, finding her breath almost literally taken away at the sight of it all, "Holy hells." She finally says looking out on the staggeringly beautiful sight.

A smile just widens across the gnolls face, as she focuses on landing.

Slowly but steadily the mech approaches the tip top of one of the larger hills in the unending fields, the engines revving until the feet of the mecha touch-down and almost immediately go quiet, with only the mechanical sounds of the mecha's legs shifting and getting into position at the movements of the gnoll inside.

Cresting over the tip of the hill the mecha comes to a halt looking out on the fields, the electronics wind down and the holographics power down, leaving them in the near dark again.

The gnoll pulls her hands out of the controls, "W- well?"

"U- heh, it was beautiful Tulvyh." The mouse responds.

"It's not over yet." Tulvyh says, flicking a switch and pulling a lever.

"Oh?" The mouse responds as the front of the mecha opens downward creating a platform in front of them, the pink sunlight breaking into and across the two of them, fresh floral air filling the cockpit, Once the lid opens fully the mecha's hand comes into view, flattening and creating a large flat space.

Tulvyh reaches around the mouse and turns and unlatches their harness, "Careful Wenski."

"Hush, I can stand on my own." She fusses as the harness comes free and she carefully slides off Tulvyh's lap onto the large latch of the mech, onto her feet, but low enough to brace herself with her hands as she tentatively climbs up to the edge, not climbing up onto the hand of the mech as she looks out eyes wide at the fields of lucious flowers.

Tulvyh doesn't follow immediately, instead standing up and turning around, pressing a button on the seat she was just sitting on, causing the back of the seat to open up to a compartment.

"Tulvyh this is-" As Wenski turns around she sees Tulvyh pull out a large blanket and a wicker basket with the top of two wine bottles sticking out of the top.

"Heh... happy valentines day." Wenski says shyly, a blush filling her cheeks.

It takes another moment for Wenski to respond, as a few tears start welling up in her eyes, "Y- fuckin' goofball, this was your plan the whole time wasn' it?" She accuses, her southern drawl coming out fully.

"Yeah... maybe." Tulvyh's blush deepens hard.

Wenski stands up, walking over to the gnoll and gives her as big of a hug as she can manage, "Get yer face down her so I can kiss it."

"Ahhehehehe," she kneels down as best she can with her hands full as Wenski reaches up, placing both her hands on either side of the scruffy gnoll's face planting a short deep kiss on her lips.

The gnoll's cheeks just burn brighter as the mouse pulls away, "I- uh... should I put the blanket down?" She asks, her thoughts flustered to a halt.

"Hah, yes you goof, what'd you even bring?" Wenski asks, moving to the side as best she can.

Wenski steps around her up to the mecha's hand, setting the basket down and letting out the soft blanket, laying it over the large hand of the mech, "Uh... some of those egg sandwiches you like from the diner down the street?" She asks, despite her being the one to pack them, "And, uh... some of the doughnuts you like from Scratches, and two bottle of the strawberry wine you like."

Wenski gives a small chuckle, stepping up behind her wife, "You thought if everything 'I like', didn't you?" She teases Tulvyh's wording.

Tulvyh quietly straightens the blanket before turning around and offering a steady hand to Wenski.

"Thank you." She says, taking her hand and climbing up onto the hand. She looks out onto the surrounding fields, realizing how far up they are from the flower filled ground below and lets out a huff, "I'm uh... just gonna lie down on it for a bit, don't mind me." She says, crawling out onto the blanket on all fours.

"Okay." Tulvyh says understandingly, following her out on all fours as well, setting the basket in front of them.

"Are you making fun of me?" Wenski says, teasing her.

"N- no!"

Wenski chuckles in response, leaning up against her wife, as they come to a comfortable laying down position beside her. She takes a long deep breath of floral air, nuzzling against the large gnoll, "Love you sweetheart."

"Love you to Wenski."

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volcano snail

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