the-kintsugi-system

[the-kintsugi-system]

I have a friend who recently told me they had DID; im friends with the host for sure but a few of the alters in the system apparently dont like me all that much. How do I approach this as someone who wants to respect everyone's feelings in the system, but also someone who wants to retain their friendship with the host and the alters that like me?

sorry this took 20 years to respond to, but if you haven't already figured it out bc its been literally forever, a good place to start is asking what the systems boundaries around that are? like collectively and based on the individual. you should set boundaries for yourself as well so you can stay out of situations that could be hard for you? (idk how far the disliking goes or if they're just neutral, but if those alters would actively be rude or smth just make sure you set boundaries there as well.) have lots of conversations and ask them to be honest with you, and hopefully you'll find a way to be mutually respectful. give them space too! and remember their boundaries can change so you'll both have to keep each other updated. thanks for the ask! sorry again that it took actual months;;

[the-kintsugi-system]

[the-kintsugi-system]

how many people would be in to writing a poems for a book about DISSOCATIVE disorders

all profits would go to NAMI

[the-kintsugi-system]

It's so weird being a system sometimes bc I constantly have to remind myself "hey, other people don't really talk to themselves out loud this much" or "just switched, no one has any idea what's going on, and it's not like we can ask but we can't just sit here either or we'll draw attention" or "I'm sorry if I did anything to upset you or if I acted weird, I might have been here physically but I wasn't actually here and now I sound like I'm insane"

[the-kintsugi-system]

Hi! Can I ask a question? I think I'm apart of a system but my brain keeps going 'no lol u faking' and I'm confused. I dissociate and just completely forget so much. Like I can be talking to someone then five minutes later I won't remember what was said, but I still remember having the conversation.

I'm mostly confused because I have tried to communicate with my alters (that is if they are there) but I don't get clear responses? Or I think I get one but my brain is like 'no u just thinking that there's no one there'. It's very stressful. AND I don't think I've ever had an alter fully "take control" (ig) and even when dissociating I don't think I ever fully switch. I don't feel like I'm not in control, but I certainly feel like someone wants to take over. Is that normal. Help?? I'm confused and don't know what's happening or how to ask for help.

Hey! So first off, I’m not a professional by any means, so just keep that in mind while I try and help you out. (Also I’m using "I" instead of "We" rn just because I want to xD. Also because we're not sure whos fronting rn)

So just to be clear, I can’t tell you if you’re actually part of a system or not because like I said, I’m not a professional, and also I don’t know you personally. BUT that doesn’t mean you don’t have it just because I might not be able to give you the answers you were looking for.

I HIGHLY suggest that you look into informational youtube channels like The Entropy System or The Rings System. Because I’m just a jumbled little mess of people and we don’t always remember everything. (Also I’m still not sure about all the drama they caused, but I do know that DissociaDID has some informational videos as well that I’ve watched and found super helpful. But I’ll let you decide whether you want to get into all that because they have caused some issues in the community. I honestly am not sure about them plz don’t come for me.)

Now that all that’s out of the way, just know that your experiences, whether they end up being caused by DID or not, are valid. You don’t need to have a dissociative disorder to experience things like dissociation or  struggle with memory. If it turns out you don’t have it, it won’t invalidate those experiences in any way, it just means they were caused by something else.

DID is meant to be a covert way of protecting yourself, which is why people can go so long without being diagnosed or really recognizing their symptoms. It's hard to be chill about everything when you suddenly realize that you might not know yourself as well as you think you do. It's scary and I get that, but it's important to try and be patient as you look into it and try to communicate with your system.

It might take a while, but I'd say if you start to recognize distinguishable parts, go ahead and start taking notes about them now. Even if it turns out that you don't have DID, it can help you organize your thoughts on things and also what might be causing this kind of stuff aside from that. If you get names for them, awesome, write those down along with your notes about how you think your alters might work. If you don't get names, you can use symbols or make up names for them too, they can keep them or change them if they want after all. Remember every system works differently based on your personal experiences and how you needed to be protected, so there really is no "normal" when it comes to this.

You can also try and keep a journal to encourage communication. Don't get discouraged if you don't get immediate responses or don't get responses at all. It can take a while because as far as your brain is concerned you were never supposed to know anything about this.

There are also many different variations of dissociative disorders like OSDD-1b that function differently from DID and I know for a fact that The Rings System has some super helpful videos on the differences between them.

Hope all this helps! I also hope this wasn't too long or confusing lol. If you have more questions for us throw them our way and we'll do our best to answer.

[the-kintsugi-system]

[the-kintsugi-system]

Man FUCK conventional system roles dude, if I wanna be the Resident Court Jester and Face Puncher TM then that's just what I'm gonna do

[the-kintsugi-system]

Daily reminder that EMDR isn't intended for use in DID/OSDD and while it can be helpful for some systems it can cause emotional flooding for others if not appropriately modified. Please be careful in not rushing trauma processing and make sure those treating you know what they're doing. Just because they're a therapist or psychiatrist does not mean they've done any research on DID/OSDD; hold them accountable for giving you the best possible standard of care.

[the-kintsugi-system]

Reblog if you’re a DID system

because I would love some mutuals. 

[the-kintsugi-system]

My therapist on not knowing who's fronting/ being confused and not knowing all of your alters super well:

"It doesn't mean any of this isn't real just because you get confused or don't have details. You're not making it up. I figure even if you were supposedly 'making it up', there is a damn good reason so that's fine too. But I don't think you are making it up.

And in my experience things are rarely if ever clear cut. That's part of why it's so hard."

This was really validating for me because being confused about details is a huge trigger for doubt spiraling. I hope sharing helps other people too!

- RJ

[the-kintsugi-system]

[the-kintsugi-system]

on the bright side tho (bc all I do is complain on this blog pff) we've started making an inner world for us which is kinda helping with keeping some of us happy? and organizing things. we only have like two-ish rooms right now tho but we're gonna work on more as we go ^^ there's like almost 30 of us now tho so we've got a lot of work to do xD

[the-kintsugi-system]

we looooovveeeee going non verbal at workkkk and running out of three things and having the quiet headset so no one can hear us ask for them to be refilled aaaaaaaaaaa

[the-kintsugi-system]

real annoying that we can't just tell our mom that the reason we forget to put our dishes in the dishwasher is bc last we checked it was dirty and that all our days run together. it doesn't matter if I checked yesterday or a week ago, until I check it again it's still gonna be dirty in my mind until I remember that time has gone by. this goes with anything but especially that. like I'm not defending myself bc dishes are an easy thing, it's just literally so frustrating even for me bc I don't want to forget the easy stuff either.

[the-kintsugi-system]

this new job is giving us so much anxiety. it's so high stress for so many reasons dhfifhfjhf

[the-kintsugi-system]

*wears heels, a dress, and a full face of makeup with highlighter n everything for the first time in a while*

WOW why did we stop wearing these?? :O they're so cute!! makeup is so fun! wow we're so pretty why did we stop?

*the rest of the system cringes at the suddenly extreme feminine energy*

[the-kintsugi-system]

*spends our whole break at work dissociating*