the-maddogs

[the-maddogs]

Hot fucking take but literally no trans person is 'transmisogyny exempt'

[the-maddogs]

aspire to be you.

[the-maddogs]

if you had to live even one day as a biological homosexual male (don't play dumb or smart, you know what i'm referring to), you'd fucking k!ll yourself once you realize how miserable it is.

right, because trans people have famously never had to survive being so miserable that we feel like we’d be better off dead, and transphobia totally doesn’t compound with homophobia to make life even harder. i mean, fuck intersectionality, right? obviously being trans on top of being gay would make things easier, not harder. silly me. my stupid little female brain just can’t possibly comprehend how hard your life must be. of course i would be too fragile and weak to survive the hardships that you and only you experience. really, we should all give you a standing ovation for surviving more suffering than anyone else on the entire earth has ever had to experience.

…anyway, this whole stolen valor angle of anti-transmasculinity is weird as hell. big “back in my day we had to walk to school up hill both ways in the snow” energy. have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, you don’t have some sort of monopoly on suffering? because believe it or not, finding community with other people who have faced similar hardships is actually a really healing experience when you let yourself do it, and would definitely be far healthier than whatever the fuck you’ve got going on here. i’d strongly recommend trying it sometime. if you get the stick out of your ass, you’ll realize we’re in this together, and that’s an incredibly powerful thing.

[the-maddogs]

I really love when I see a post that's like "okay transandrophobia obviously doesn't exist but we need to address that there is oppression targeted specifically towards transmascs" just really highlights that most people who don't believe in transandrophobia have no idea what the word actually means

[the-maddogs]

tried to vent in a trans space about how, as a trans man who’s been on T for a long time (over 7 years now), i have noticed that the more i pass as a man, the less welcomed i am in queer spaces unless i go out of my way to feminize myself. and how that sucks! and it’s isolating!!! and it feels horrible to see ppl who used to like you and be close to you drift further and further the more masculine (& therefore more comfortable in urself) u become…

only to get ppl replying to me and saying “well if you dressed more fem then ppl wouldn’t be intimidated by you. you signed up for this”

i’m sorry but i didnt sign up for social isolation when i transitioned, i signed up for gender euphoria and comfort in myself and my life. and i had hoped that the ppl in my life would be able to see how much joy that brings me and continue to love me.

[the-maddogs]

i wish ppl didnt shit so hard on (transmasc) bottom surgery man. i feel like i wouldve looked into a metoidioplasty a lot sooner if i hadnt seen all of the negativity and stigma surrounding phallo and metoidioplasties. but as soon as i actually looked into it i realized it was something i want! extremely bad! and i feel like a lot of other transmascs would want bottom surgery if they actually knew more about different types and results

[the-maddogs]

reading transmasc, transfem, & other trans experiences with transphobia & lateral violence in queer spaces it's clear that generally there is a lot in common. being left out of conversations, not having any resources aimed at your trans group, being gatekept from safe spaces for being perceived as "too male/masculine," being ignored when talking about issues that affect your trans group, losing support networks after coming out/transitioning, being ignored or harassed after pointing out community problems. i have heard the exact same raw wounds from all sides.

whenever we insist that any of this is universally unique to one trans group, that others never experience this & "don't know what it's like," we contribute to the very thing we suffer from. no amount of suffering absolves us from causing severe harm.

[the-maddogs]

people need to realize that sexual harassment & assault can happen in women's only spaces. and cis straight women can and are frequent perpetrators (sexual harassment & assault do not require attraction). & the idea that women are just naturally safe to be around makes it harder for victims to speak up and be taken seriously because "but we're all girls! it's fine if I deny your autonomy if we're girls it's just a fun joke :)"

if you want to make women's spaces safer for victims of sexual assault, you need to focus on empowering ALL victims & not making sweeping generalizations based in bigotry.

[the-maddogs]

the understanding of transandrophobia will remain incomplete as long as we describe the trans community as an incidental participant rather than an enthusiastic one. There can be no analysis of trans men's erasure that is of any use to anyone, unless we start taking into account the ways erasing, infantilising and demonizing trans men benefits trans people of all genders. Until we understand that we're not dealing with a million oopsie-daisies, but with a motivated pattern of behavior - not in the sense of some kind of master plan, but of a system of incentives that make transandrophobia beneficial to the people enacting it. We're stuck playing whack-a-mole with symptoms of a sickness that's been passed down in the community since before the time of Magnus Hirschfeld.

[the-maddogs]

I know we've talked about all the ways, "I hate all men EXCEPT trans men", is generally painting us not reeaallllyyy men which is fucked up, but it's also a nerve wracking position to find yourself in. Yes, I am incredibly hostile to people very much like you, but you're my exception. Who knows what will cause me to take that Exception card away from you, and when. Are you really not the enemy? Are you? Are you? Haha just checking no pressure do as I say.

In some ways, I can really understand wanting men who are safer and more understanding but like, this is scary to be on the other end of. It's controlling and you have power over me. I'm literally transgender.

[the-maddogs]

trans people who are allowed into cissexist spaces dominated by cis men still never have the same voice and influence cis men do; they rely on obedience to cis narratives and subordinating their transness as much as possible.

trans people who are allowed into cissexist spaces dominated by cis women still never have the same voice and influence cis women do; they rely on obedience to cis narratives and subordinating their transness as much as possible.

any kind of inter-trans antagonism that relies on the idea that any group of trans people has their needs met because they have any level of technical acceptance into (cis) wo/men's spaces is just projecting the fear of the Trans Agent of the Patriarchy onto other trans people. none of us are being listened to unless we are saying the same things as cis people. none of us are having our needs met unless our needs align with cis people's.

[the-maddogs]

Why are trans men always so desperate to reclaim slurs that have never been applied to them?

it fascinates me that you looked at those pictures of me and decided "this guy has never been called a faggot"

[the-maddogs]

i think people mostly just have an issue with the persistent centering of men when it comes to feminist issues. sure, men often suffer under the patriarchy as well, but they dont suffer as much as women do and actually have much to lose from dismantling the system (compared to what they would gain from doing so), so just highlighting this fact doesnt do much to further feminist goals

that being said i do think its something that should go acknowledged lest we fall into the manhating hole, which is obviously counterproductive

Personally I don't think it's "centering men" to acknowledge the ways the patriarchy wields misogyny as a weapon against the very people who benefit the most from misogyny in the first place, because if nothing else it can show everyone that maybe beating the shit out of little boys who try makeup and nail polish and teaching them that anything feminine is a sign of weakness is also having a direct impact on creating adult men who want to kill any sign of femininity in front of them and who think anyone feminine is less than human.

It used to be pretty common theory to acknowledge the cause-and-effect happening here, and to strive to treat the next generation of little boys with more openness towards femininity alongside the little girls learning that they did not have to conform to gender roles. Not just having well-written female protagonists but also making sure that it wasn't just girls watching and reading, to show the boys something more than the sex dolls only existing for wank material in other media.

That's not centering men. That's making sure that we're addressing the full problem instead of only half of it.

[the-maddogs]

would you be willing to talk some abt what it means to you to be a dyke? im trying to decide if thats smthn i wanna use for myself and i also love hearing other peoples feelings abt labels :)

To me a dyke is... someone who is a girl or was a girl or is/was girled against their will whose fucked up about it. like Defective Model of Girl. dyke is a mix between bitch and freak. fucking over female expectations in some queer way or another. dyke is when you are obligated to be a woman but your inmate personhood is viscerally disgusting to the patriarchy, so it both demands womanhood while punishing you no matter what you do. you aren't necessarily a woman, but you have (willingly or not) a fucked up and queer relationship to being a woman or womanhood or lesbianism etc etc.

the reason i focused on guydykes in that post is because i wanna point out how "dyke" has always been an anti-transmasc slur as much as an anti-lesbian one. same with fag & anti-transfemininity. trans guys of all kinds have been punished for Doing Girl Wrong (and ofc so have transfems; there is as wide a variety of transfem dykes as transmascs, same with transmasc fags). people can get real tetchy about trans guys calling ourselves dykes, especially if we aren't attracted to women at all. even though it has always been used against trans men&mascs& so many other trans folks. i love woman dykes ofc but it's important to me that we recognize how often transmasculinity erased and then alienated from itself, to the point that trans men who have been called dykes their whole lives feel like they aren't allowed to be a dyke because some people made up arbitrary rules based on a concept of dykehood that never considered transmasculine experiences in the first place.

[the-maddogs]

once again i am BEGGING y'all to stop saying "women and people who can/have [x]" just to soothe cis women who think that gender neutral language is a personal attack. menstruation is gender neutral pregnancy is gender neutral AND GUESS WHAT! you can talk about misogyny and the effects womanhood has socially on these issues WHILE using gender neutral language! ik ive been saying this a lot lately but seriously identifying as a woman is not as crucial to feminism as y'all clearly think it is. it's a spit in the face to trans women and plays into this need for cis women to make sure they are never ever grouped in with the trannies in the horrid dehumanizing label of "people" because they find it defemminating

[the-maddogs]

for every antitransmasc person that exists who chooses to spend their time making life worse for transmasculine people i will spend more of my time loving transmascs and men and people with transmasculinity as a part of their gender expanse and I will listen to them about the things they are worried about and afraid of even harder and i will work to stamp out the things that hurt them even more staunchly

[the-maddogs]

maybe masculinity is ok. even trans/queer masculinity. have you considered that? have you yet considered that trans men and mascs arent gender traitors and we are just another gender? have you considered that telling pre t trans dudes that if they had facial hair theyd look like a sexual predator is really fucked up, especially with the traits of sexual assault on trans people? have you considered that maybe you shouldnt be telling real trans people that the body hair and facial hair and bottom growth they got on t that theyre celebrating about because they finally feel like themselves is actually gross and u dont want it and ud feel bad if u got it and its ugly? whatever happened to inside thoughts