the-mortal-incorrects

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Isabelle: Jace doesn't have a life plan. He doesn't have a day plan. I once found a note he wrote to himself that said "Put on pants".

Isabelle: Followed by a question mark.

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Isabelle: Hey, what time is it?

Jace: I don't know. Pass me that trombone and I'll find out.

Jace: [blasts trombone]

Alec: Who the FUCK is playing the trombone at TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING?

Jace: It's 2AM.

Clary: ...figured.

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Okay so I just finished The Red Scrolls of Magic and I have one (1) thing to say.

Not enough people talk about Raphael messaging Ragnor while thinking he was dead.

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Clary: He had a crush on you for so long, you know.

Isabelle: Aww! Si, you had a crush on me? That's so sweet!

Simon: Iz, we're married.

Isabelle: Still-

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Catarina: I want to show you a picture from last night, that really upset me.

Magnus: Okay, but in my defense. Ragnor bet me 50 cents that I couldn't drink all that shampoo.

Catarina: That's not what I wanted to-

Catarina: You drank SHAMPOO?

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Clary: I win!

Jace: I have you pinned to the ground.

Clary: I know.

Jace:

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Alec: I just want you to know that I used to think there was no man on earth good enough for Izzy. Simon: [smiles] Alec: ...and I still think that.

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Clary: There’s something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you. Jace: … Clary: Can we kiss?

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Isabelle: Being “overdressed” is a concept made up by people who don’t want you to look better than them. Alec: Alec: You’re literally wearing a full dress and make-up at a Denny’s at 3AM. Isabelle: And?

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Jace: I’m into polyarmory. Isabelle: You mean polyamory, right? Jace, with multiple swords: What?

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Alec: [reading quietly] Jace, upside down on a chair: Do you think stars have feelings?

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Isabelle, talking to Jace on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to? Jace: You bet! Isabelle: At what temperature? Jace: 535. Isabelle: That’s the clock. Jace: Isabelle: Jace: 536.

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Alec: I’m not homophobic, but the LGBTQ+ community… kinda gay. Clary: Alec, you are dating a man. Alec: I’M JUST SAYING!

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Simon, lying awake in bed: Hey, are you asleep yet? Isabelle: Yes. Simon: Oh, okay, I won’t bother you then. [two hours later] Simon: Wait a second-

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Magnus: You’re a good friend, Ragnor. Ragnor: One of us has to be.

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Simon: Based on statistical evidence, I am immortal. Alec: What statistical evidence? Simon: I haven’t died yet. Clary: I… don’t think that’s how it works. Jace: No, he’s got a point. Do you know how many times I’ve tried to kill him? This fucker will not die.

[the-mortal-incorrects]

Clary: Jace would throw himself in front of a car for you. Alec: Jace would throw himself in front of a car just for fun.