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Zelda reacts: pt 1

I woke up in the middle of the night with idea for a series of comics; basically the ending scene of BOTW, but Zelda reacts differently depending on which armour set Link is wearing. of course I had to start with the rubber set which is one of the funniest to me lmao

what armour should I do next??

>>> Part 2: Stealth

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Happy let Papyrus say fuck day!

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B'st rates his companions on their chuckability:

Valere: always lands on her feet, even if you catch her by surprise; does a sweet backflip most of the time. 8/10

Zale: even more impressive acrobatics than Valere; makes a funny noise when you pick him up. 9/10

Garl: extremely satisfying to heft, but not very aerodynamic; does not land on his feet. 6/10

Serai: will open a portal in midair so she can jump kick you from behind; not recommended. 1/10

Resh'an (puppet): weighs nothing and ragdolls in the air; with a good tailwind you can chuck him across camp and then some. 9/10

Resh'an (real): usually turns into a bird in mid-air; not actually that satisfying to chuck, but his feathers get extremely ruffled. 7/10

Teaks: What are you, some kind of monster? She's so small and pink haired. Exempt from chucking; willing to take notes when someone else is tossed.

Artificer: Rolls up into a ball and insists on calling it the 'canonball special'; has figured out how to cause explosions when he lands. 10/10, but try not to do it near inhabited structures.

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I know for a fact that my stepmother loves me.

I know it for a fact because the vaccine for the sleeping sickness came out when I was ten, and she cried. When she was a kid, parents would have Sleep Overs whenever someone caught it, in the hopes of spread it around - children were statistically more likely to be woken up by "True Love's Kiss" from a parent or family member, after all, whereas if you caught it when you were older, things got more complicated and if you were old, you might be the last one in your family left.

(There’s more to it than that, I know, I've tried reading the papers, but I barely passed biocurse with a C+, and don't even get me started on organic curses. Those two classes were enough to kill any hope I had of becoming a fairy godperson.)

So, when the vaccine against the sleeping sickness came out, my stepmother cried, and my father got me on the list right away; I wasn't high priority, after all; I was young, there wasn't an active outbreak in my school district, and I was otherwise healthy. But they put me on the backup list anyway, so if there was one, just one available, I could get it.

When the fairy godperson's office called, my dad was at work, but my stepmother bundled me up and drove there so fast I thought we were going to be pulled over. (Later, I found out that she'd gotten an automated ticket from one of the red light cameras, a fact that she hid from both me and my dad.) They called my dad, of course, and he left work, but he also gave the okay for my stepmother to be my medical proxy in case he was delayed.

Vaccines don't last forever, and it was decided that I would be given it without him there. At 100 minutes, my stepmother would try kissing my forehead, and if it didn't work, the office would set me up for the 100 hours it would take before my dad could try.

Magic can't be ignored, but it can be tricked.

It didn't matter. At 100 minutes post-vaccine, my stepmother kissed my forehead and I woke up.

So. I know she loves me.

My mom would have been there, if she could, but she died when I was five. She'd gotten Rapunzelean cancer in high school, but she'd beaten it! She was one of the successes!

...Until it came back.

I don't remember much about her, but I remember that she loved me. Even as the golden tumors grew from her bare scalp and sucked the life out of her, she would sing to me, and she wrote me a series of letters for me as I grew up, just in case.

My stepmother took me to her grave sometimes. My dad does too, but it's nice that my stepmother is willing, you know? I had a breakdown one year when I couldn't find my mom's favorite flowers to take to her burial site, and my stepmom drove me all over town until we found one store that had them in the right color. (My dad was at the fairy godperson's office to get some pre-wards before we went to the cemetery. I found out later that his father had caught a curse shortly after my grandmother passed away, specifically geriatric onset donkeyskin, and my father was paranoid of following in his footsteps.)

My dad and my stepmom shuffled their shifts, so that one of them was with me in the morning before school, and one of them was there after, and then both were home for dinner. When I told them I wanted to study to be a fairy godperson, they took me seriously, even though I had wanted to be a pilot and a vet, and and a lawyer and and and - they always supported me, and soon I was being gifted books on the history of magicomedicine and cursebreaking. Some of them gave me nightmares - siren's disease freaked me out for a long time; something about the tongue swelling so much you would suffocate, and the agonizing images of ancient "cures" where the victim had to get their tongue cut out so they could breathe. I don't even know why! There were much worse ones! But something about that was so visceral to me. For the next month, any time my feet hurt even a little was convinced I was coming down with siren's disease.

I worried my parent's so much that they took me to Fairy Elena, my PCFP, and asked if she would be willing to go over how siren's is treated now. She gave me a quick rundown on intubation, pain medication, and told me about Prince's Blood Donations.

It was the first time I learned that magic can be tricked; according to legend, siren's disease could be cured by killing someone's true love and smearing their blood over the patient's legs. At least, that was one line of thought; another line of thought argued that it had to be the blood of royalty. Some fairy godpersons and magicoresearchers got together in the '80s and decided to research it methodically, going through every known case of siren's disease & what worked and what didn't. It turned out royalty was the key, but then it became a question of ethics. I didn't care too much at the time, that was all boring, grown-up stuff, but finally one researcher decided to just make a blood bank company, call it Prince's and see if that worked.    

And it did.

Magic can be tricked, and my mind was blown.

I also asked my dad if we could put that book away for a little, because it was too scary. He agreed, and we put it on the top shelf, where all the scary books went. I reread it recently, and honestly? I don't remember what I was so afraid of.

Things started changing when I turned 16.

For one, my hair, which had always been brown, started darkening to black. For another, I stopped being able to tan. It was like a light switch went off; magic was determined to turn me into something, and I hated it. My PCFP really went to bat for me, getting insurance to cover the cost of cosmetic glamours and professional tanning sprays. She wanted me to tell my parents, but I didn't want to, not yet, and she was bound by her oath to protect my privacy.   

She was right. But... I wanted to ignore it. I wanted to pretend everything was fine.

I didn't want to lose another mom.

And it worked for a while; managed to get to my senior year of high school before the world broke.

Stepmothers don't have the best reputation.

It fucking sucks, and it's not fair, but enough stories have been told about them that magic took an interest, and began manifesting curses that warp stepmothers until they follow the story.

We thought we were safe. My stepmother didn't bring any children into the marriage, so she was safe from the ash-girl curse variant, and I was a tanned brunette, so we were safe from the snow-daughter variant.

And she loved me.

She hid it too, I think. Not intentionally, but some of the symptoms are paranoia and anxiety.

I've done a lot of research. I don't think I'll ever be able to be a fairy godperson, but that doesn't mean I had to stop caring. I swapped my focus to researching curses from the history and literature side of things. I still work with researchers, we just come from different angles now.

Anyway, no one realized anything was wrong until she was french braiding my hair and the next thing I knew, she had locked herself in the bathroom sobbing while EMTs took me to the hospital for overnight observation. I don't actually know what happened. She turned herself over to the cops as soon I was loaded onto the ambulance, and she was taken to a hospital herself. She was sedated at first, as she was so wound up that she was hurting herself, and the hospital couldn't scan her for curses. Once she came out of sedation, she immediately called my dad and offered a divorce, he could take everything, she would leave immediately.

But we'd gotten the results of the scans, and I was fine. As best that the fairy godperson's could tell, the magic was frustrated that we didn't want to go down the snow-daughter route, and had lashed out in an attempt to force it. That was apparently what knocked me unconscious; magic poisoned the comb my stepmother was using in my hair.

That didn't mean she didn't feel guilty - but so did I. If I had told them earlier, would things have changed? If I hadn't tried to hide the signs that magic was fucking with us?

They don't blame me, and I don't blame her.  

She loves me. I know she does. We still talk, as best as we can. She can only hear my voice for ten minutes before the curse starts taking over. We can email, though, as long as the orderlies can prescreen the email for any curse triggers. She also can't hear about me directly, but my dad will go and visit her, and tell me how she's doing. He refused to divorce her. His insurance still covers her hospital stay. He says he's married, and wears his ring.

When I applied to college, I wrote about all three of my parents, and how much they had all taught me.

How much they all loved me.

Someday, my stepmother will get her curse lifted, I have to believe that. I've joined a multidisciplinary group of researchers based in the EU. Some of us are looking at ways to trick magic, some of us are looking at ways to rewrite the stories of the wicked stepmothers, and create a new path for the magic to follow. One group of researchers is looking into ways of simulating the punishments that stepmothers receive at the end of tales to see if "punishing" stepmothers would break the curse. Actually going through the punishments would cause any ethical review board to remove someone's license, and there's no way I would want my stepmom to dance in red hot metal shoes.

But lately she's been getting hot stone foot massages before I call her; that's how we got to ten minutes before the curse took hold, and next week we're going to see if holding her feet in a hot bath lets us video call. Maybe someday we'll be able to see each other in person again. Maybe I'll be able to take her home where dad and I can cook dinner for her, and we can be a family again. My family has an apple pie recipe, and we never made it - I understand why, now, but maybe someday we can laugh at this and all make it together. To make your own apple pie, you'll need...

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HOMESICK, pt. 12

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PATREON

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Fullmetal Alchemist?

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I'm fucking dying at this page someone shared on Bluesky.

Behold, the Embroidery Trouble Shooting Guide that forgot to close its <h3> tags.

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Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

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put that old man in a situation

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Alright! I got my husband to help me out, and apparently, reblogs WILL be filtered even if they don't include the tags from the original! 👍

Hey like. With reblogs, do trigger warnings and other tags still apply (and get filtered) if it's just the original poster who tagged it and the person reblogging didn't? Actually I'm gonna add a poll, hold on

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You know what? No. This was a good question, and I am VERY curious myself, because this would be VERY useful information to have. Hold on one sec. I'm gonna do an ~Experiment~.

Hey like. With reblogs, do trigger warnings and other tags still apply (and get filtered) if it's just the original poster who tagged it and the person reblogging didn't? Actually I'm gonna add a poll, hold on

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okay im giving you to the count of -3 to restore the proper flow of time

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I see your 'Sky has asthma and that's why he can't run', and I raise you: Sky has Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia, and that's why he can't run.

Now, before you run away because you've never even heard of IST, hear me out. (If you don't know the condition, it's a dysautonomic heart condition vaguely similar to POTS, just without the low blood pressure.)

We all know Sky's lived above the clouds with minimal oxygen levels his entire life, as have most of his decedents, so it wouldn't make sense for him to have shitty lungs, right? That's where IST comes in. See, it's not related in the slightest to physical health or upbringing, it's just a non-genetic thing that is due to your sinus being a bit funky. It's also not life threatening, so that takes away from Skyloft needing to have non-canonical advanced medical procedures. IST's main symptom is that it severely decreases your stamina by making your heart race and you become extremely out of breath, often meaning you have to stop and wait for a bit for your heart to calm down.

Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too.

However, and here's the real seller- unlike asthma, you can just power through and not die. It really, really sucks, but this ability is quite the gamebreaker for me when you think about all of the extreme physical tasks Sky has completed in game, not to mention his swordplay, that if he had exercise induced asthma would've very likely set off an attack. With IST tho, yes it would feel like you were dying, but it is absolutely be possible to just power through your symptoms and have no adverse effects except from your extreme discomfort and fatigue afterwards.

TLDR: Sky has Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia because it fits him so much better than asthma, as someone who has both asthma and IST. And no, this isn't just me projecting my hyper specific heart condition onto one of my favourite characters, what do you mean....

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I decided to get Oneshot few days ago and I already love the game so much, the puzzles are so amazingly done 👀✨

And I got big mood to do large pixelart of Niko ^^

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The hero’s secret identity is revealed. Surprisingly, their enemies have enough honor to not go after their loved ones or lord over their personal life.

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You know, one thing about Detective Beebo that stuck out to me is the fact that there are no bad endings.

Sure, there is one true ending, and some endings are more fucked up than others. But it would have been so easy to have... hopeless endings. You chose wrong; everyone blows up. You chose wrong; you are separated from the one you love, with no hope of seeing him again. You chose wrong; you're trapped in here forever, with no hope of ever making it out.

But that's not how this goes. You chose, neither right nor wrong, and the story goes on. You make it out, or perhaps you choose to stay. Some people remember and others don't. Maybe one half of you is separated from the other. Maybe you're changed, on both a physical and a psychological level. But no matter what happens, Oliver and Ángel reunite eventually, and there is hope for a better future. It will get better – maybe not now, but someday.

I think it's sweet.