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[the-smol-cricket]

Hey so it's June 1st, start of pride month! But... it's also labeled as "World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day."

It's a day about educating people on narcissistic abuse, so that's what I'm going to do! (Spoilers, it's not real, and the guy who coined it was really shitty too.)

Narcissistic Abuse was coined by Sam Vaknin back in the 90s, an Israeli writer, philosopher, and physicist. A man who;

- Has claimed that being homosexual and having relationships that are gay is narcissistic because its wanting to make love with a reflection of yourself.

- That being transgender and seeking out transition is narcissistic because you are "disregarding your true gender."

- That not wanting to be gatekept from transitioning is entitled and narcissistic.

- Has no qualifications for psychology or psychiatry. (He even has a disclaimer on his website about how he's not a mental health professional, funny!)

- Was arrested and jailed for security frauds in 1996.

There's also a whole slew of him being misogynistic, a rape apologist, and Islamaphobic during interviews.

(Sources below the cut at the end of the post!)

So what is narcissistic abuse defined as?

"Narcissistic abuse is a form of abuse stemming from narcissistic behaviors. It can be emotional, psychological, or physical. Narcissistic characteristics can involve volatile behavior, lack of empathy, and aggression. Narcissistic abuse may include gaslighting, constant criticism, humiliation, and coercion."

Now, what's so bad about labeling this as narcissistic abuse?

The truth of the matter is that's it's misleading and demonizing people who have Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

All of the traits described are not exclusive to narcissists, and terms already exist for these types of abuse without putting the blame on those who have a personality disorder!

Emotional Abuse: "Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors that are meant to control, isolate, or frighten you. This may present as threats, insults, constant monitoring, excessive jealousy, manipulation, humiliation, intimidation, dismissiveness, and more."

Psychological Abuse: "Psychological abuse involves the regular and deliberate use of a range of words and non-physical actions used with the purpose to manipulate, hurt, weaken or frighten a person mentally and emotionally; and/or discomfort, confuse, or influence a person's thoughts and actions."

Those both sound familiar don't they?

"But Bindi! You can't tell me the abuse I went through isn't real!"

And I'm not! This post isn't to discredit anyone's experiences with being abused but is asking for a reflection on the terminology used to make the world better for all of us.

What you went through is real, but there's never an excuse for contributing to the stigma and demonization of people who didn't ask to be the way that they are.

Someone's disorder didn't abuse you, the person did.

And no, you can't separate narcissism from NPD. You aren't a narcissist without NPD. There is no way to get around using the term narcissistic abuse without it reflecting right back onto people struggling with a literal disorder.

Now, what actually is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

NPD is defined by the DSM-5 as "a compromising pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts."

It is a cluster B personality disorder, a type of PD classified by difficulties regulating emotions and behavior. These behaviors can be considered dramatic, emotional, or erratic.

NPD is a manageable disorder through psychotherapy and medication management!

But big of all... while the exact cause of NPD isn't known, it's believed that a mix of genetic features and early childhood experiences can contribute to someone developing NPD. Some of these factors are accounted to being abused and neglected ourselves.

Many narcissists are themselves survivors of abuse and face constant calls to further abuse us for existing with a disorder due to the damage and dehumanization of narcissists caused by Vaknin.

The coining of narcissistic abuse and its continued, prevalent usage has done irreparable damage. It is dehumanizing, demonizing and has contributed to stigmatization that has made finding help resources and people willing to aid those with NPD a hell of a lot harder.

Dehumanizing people will always lead down a horrible path of people deciding who to target, who’s acceptable to target and inevitably more abuse, violations of peoples rights as humans, and excessive, avoidable collateral damage.

It’s also done damage to people who are survivors of abuse, because in the end its a term that really helps nobody and holds so little actual meaning when describing abuse because it’s inaccurate in its name and general meaning; there are other more distinct, non-harmful terms that get you so much further in describing the events you had gone through.

In conclusion, happy pride month! Stop parroting the words of a raging bigot and do some self reflection after reading this post.

Thank you.

Sources below the cut for your convenience .

Full text these exerpts are from can be found here (Transphobic & Homophobic)

Found here (Unqualified for the things he’s been saying)

Also formerly read directly as

links to Vaknin’s website , interviews and medium articles

here are some excerpts from these:

Jacobsen: You agree with First Wave Feminism and Second Wave Feminism, and disagree with Third Wave Feminism and Fourth Wave Feminism. What defines them?

Vaknin: First and second wave feminisms (in plural: there are many schools) were focused on leveling the playing field and fighting abusive and exploitative practices such as prostitution and pornography.

Starting with the suffragettes, they focused on the franchise (the right to vote), equal wages, access (to healthcare, education, the workplace, daycare), revising the dress code (“rational dress”), the right to own and dispose of property, and converting marriage from indentured bondage to an intimate, hopefully lifelong equal partnership.

The third wave was a psychopathic outgrowth. While claiming to be inclusive and permissive, it was a defiant and reckless attempt to “empower” women by eliminating all boundaries, conventions, and mores of any kind in all fields of life.

What women have garnered from the confluence of the three waves is that they should make their careers the pivot of their lives, avoid meaningful, committed relationships with men, and pursue sex as a pastime with any man.

Ironically, the third wave played right into the hands of predatory men (“players”) who took advantage of the newfangled promiscuity while assiduously avoiding any hint of commitment or investment. Third wave feminists internalized the male gaze (“internalized oppression”) and pride themselves on being “sluts”.

The fourth wave of feminism is focused on real problems such as sexual harassment, rape, and body shaming as well as intersectionality (discrimination of women who belong to more than one minority). In many ways, it is an offshoot of second wave feminism. - Prof. Vaknin on Misogyny and Misandry (Misogynistic)

Militant Islam is, therefore, not a cancerous mutation of “true” Islam. On the contrary, it is the purest expression of its nature as an imperialistic religion which demands unmitigated obedience from its followers and regards all infidels as both inferior and avowed enemies. Islam is a young religion. At a similar phase in the development of their respective religions, both Jews and Christians behaved the way Muslims do today: paranoid, hostile, murderous, suicidal, fatalistic, apocalyptic, and nihilistic. Death cults arose in all these three monotheistic faiths. - Islam and Liberalism: Total Ideologies (Islamaphobic)

Nonconsensual sex is a crime and should always be punished harshly.

But falsely promising sex by word or by abundance of unequivocal actions should be equally criminalized as a form of fraudulent misconduct.

Men should be able to recover costs and damages from these "playful" counterparties, including for distress and hurt feelings.

Promises - made verbally or behaviorally - are binding and should be kept: look up promissory estoppel and breach of promise (mainly in marriage). Leading on and misrepresentation should be a crime not only in business and should have adverse actionable and tort or public reputation consequences and not only in politics. - Sex or Gender By Dr. Sam Vaknin (Rape apologia)

McLean Hospital, NPD Provider Guide

[the-smol-cricket]

happy pride. here’s the link to wikipedias list of birds displaying homosexual behavior

[the-smol-cricket]

Reminder that this blog is a safe space for all LGBTQIA+ to be gay and do crimes.

[the-smol-cricket]

[the-smol-cricket]

[the-smol-cricket]

I want black children to be seen as children and not treated like adults. I don’t want black boys to be targeted as black men or black girls to be written off as “acting too grown.”

I want them to pursue their interests and dreams and not have anyone stand in their way. I want them to grow up and only know racism as a thing of the past, something that’s never happened to them.

I want them to be loved, and safe, and supported and respected.

I want a better world for our black children.

[the-smol-cricket]

PLEASE talk about Congo, Haiti, and Sudan, with the same fervor you give Palestine. PLEASE care about black struggle and suffering.

[the-smol-cricket]

I want to die in Gaza. I'm not very interested in my life, but please don't let me see my sisters and brothers die in front of me. Please help us evacuate them from Gaza. There isn't much money left to evacuate them. Please donate and share the campaign..

[the-smol-cricket]

The people of Gaza are asking for YOUR help today. Here are some VETTED campaigns you should donate to and share widely.

(may 23rd):

Help Almoghrabi family to evacuate Gaza strip (@amjad20011) - Amjad needs to evacuate with his wife and his son, who isn't even 3 years old.

Support Ruba's family's urgent evacuation (@rubashaban) - Ruba's family are lacking the basic necessities of life; she has an elderly father who desperately needs to be evacuated.

Save little Yusuf and his family (@ahmednabubake) - Yusuf is in an intensive care unit fighting for his life in Gaza; he needs urgent evacuation alongside his family.

Help Belal and his family to evacuate from Gaza (@alaajshaat) - Belal has lost too much to this war and needs to support himself and his family.

Help Ahmed's family evacuate (@malkzaeem) - Ahmed needs to save his wife, 4 children, and severely injured father.

Help Ezzideen Shehab and his family evacuate (@helpezzideen) - Ezzideen, a young doctor, and his parents, siblings, and young brother Mazen urgently need to evacuate.

Help Iman’s family find safety (@imaneyad) - Iman has a family of 7 who need to find safety.

Support three orphaned children and their mother (@abedbahlool) - TW Graphic image. Asmaa is a mother of three and lost her husband due to the aggression.

Help save Bassam and his family (@lailashaqoura) - Bassam has five young children and has already lost 9 members of his wife's family.

Save Firas' family (@prosolitudeeee) - Firas is a of two children, a 10-month-old boy and a two-year-old girl, who are in need of safe haven in Egypt.

Help Hani's family evacuate (@skatehani) - A Palestinian skater trying to evacuate 10 members of his family.

Help Omar evacuate (@omarsobhi) - Omar is a 20 year old Palestinian student who wants to save himself and his family from this genocide.

Help Tahseen and his family (@tahseenmush) - Tahseen and his family are from northern Gaza and need urgent help to survive this genocide.

Help Nader's family to evacuate from Gaza (@nadershoshaa) - Nader and his family, consisting of six members, are currently displaced in the south; help them evacuate and survive.

Marah needs to save her family (@marahsalem) - Marah is trying to get reunited with her family, which consists of 5 members who need to urgently evacuate.

Help Mahmoud's family evacuate (@mahmoud0qassas) - Mahmoud and his family need to get to Egypt. His brother in law needs medical attention ASAP.

Yosof's family needs to evacuate (@yosofzaeem) - Yosof’s family needs to evacuate urgently; member of their family needs medical attention.

This list is supposed to call you to action. Please do not scroll past without contributing. Choose at least one fundraiser to support today. $5 can save lives. If you cannot donate, share these campaigns.

Looking for more campaigns?

[the-smol-cricket]

Please if you have the means consider buying an e-sim for Gaza! It’s very quick and easy!

Link to gazaesims ->

[the-smol-cricket]

RIP KABOSU THE DOGE MEME DOG

[the-smol-cricket]

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

[the-smol-cricket]

please donate what you can to medglobal, who are working to provide emergency relief in sudan; $12 USD provides an emergency kit, $20 provides medical PPE, & $50 will provide 50 liters of diesel fuel for hospital generators

[the-smol-cricket]

Do you know anything i can donate to for palestine that's not the gofundmes because the idea of having to choose who needs my money more is just. scary to me they all need it 3: maybe there's a thing that splits/distributes money evenly???? idk but help would be appreciated

Gazafunds actually deals with this anxiety and makes a decision for you if you want. Their home page has a spotlighted fundraiser and the code consider things like how close the gfm is to finishing, when the most recent donation is, etc. So it's randomized to help as many people as possible.

There's also @helpgazachildren which if you donate, you can help multiple people at once since it's a whole mutual aid fund, or at least close to it. Hussam distributes money to people who need it when he's asked.

[the-smol-cricket]

Vetted family fundraiser masterpost 1

Version date: May 7th 2024.

This is a masterpost for the evacuation fundraisers I've vetted so far. The numbers next to the names have no significance beyond ease of navigation for me for when I check their progress in the future. You should look at the disclaimers instead and focus on those. Occasionally I will update these with new info, including new fundraisers, and the amount of cash that's been raised. Check in regularly on the original post when you see it being reblogged. In all likelihood once its reached you it's already outdated. This post is part of this masterpost series compiling fundraisers for Ghazzah and Sudan. I focus on Ghazzah as I am Palestinian and am more equipped to do verifications as I'm more familiar with my own country and its politics and dialect, but if I know a fundraiser for a Sudanese family is legit I will include it here.

Walaa Abusamra (1). 10 family members. 28.4k out of 80k €.

Ezzideen Shehab (2). 6 family members. 9.7k out of 32.5k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Madleen Abu Jayyab (3). 4 family members. 18.7k out of 70k USD.

Jehad Shehada (4). 1 individual. 3.5k out of 15k CAD. LOW ON FUNDS.

Aser Alassar (5). 5 family members. 405k out of 550k SEK. Or 37k out of 51k USD.

My friend Mona Abu Hamda (6). 9 family members. COMPLETED ✅

Mohammed Shamia (7). 7 family members. 10.7k out of 35k USD.

Abdullah Al-Saghir (8). 9 family members. 68.2k out of 100k €.

Randa Abubakr (9). 6 family members. COMPLETED ✅

Fadi Alshrafi (10). 9 family members. COMPLETED ✅

Osama Abdelrahman. (11). 9 family members. 44.7k out of 45k €. (1 CHRONICALLY ILL CHILD, NEEDS TREATMENT) NEARLY COMPLETE. ONLY 281€ LEFT.

Alhaw family and the Albittar family (12). Between 18 and 12 family members. 8.8k out of 90k €. (EXTREMELY LOW, NEEDS FUNDS)

Verified Fundraiser by Palestine Asdiqa to help a malnourished baby with cerebral palsy. (13) 7.7k out of 31k USD. (URGENT + CHRONICALLY ILL CHILD, NEEDS TREATMENT)

Rana Abu Ahmed (14). 6 family members. COMPLETED ✅

Mohammed Abu Matar (15). 6 family members. 13.4k out of 34k CAD.

Moataz Abu Sakran (16). 3 family members. 12.4k out of 20k $ ORIGINAL CAMPAIGN COMPLETE, NEEDS TRANSFER FEES COVERED. 629$ out of 5k needed.

Ayah Abu Sidu (17). 10 family members. 15.8k out of 50.4k USD.

Said Fadel (18). 7 family members. 19.7k out of 50k USD.

Tasneem Nabil Musa (19). 7 family members (ALL INJURED, NEED MEDICAL CARE.) 10.5k out of 50k USD

Belal Azmi Msallam (20). 14 family members. 7.1k out of 160k AUD. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Mortaja Family (21). 11 family members. 28k out of 70k €.

Abu Ramadan family (22). 14 family members. 10k out of 148k €.

Mai Rajab (23). COMPLETED ✅

Amal Abu Shammala (24). 4 family members. 33.7k out of 42k €.

Maryam & family (25). 30.3k out of 50k USD.

Haneem Abdelhalim (26). 8 family members. 31.8k out of 40k USD raised.

Ahmed Masoud (27). 12 family members. 10k out of 60k €.

Mohammed Fareed (28). 30.2k out of 60k CAD.

Lena Nofal (29). 42.5k out of 44k € (NEARLY COMPLETE, original family registered to evacuate, extended family are being helped now)

Rasheda Alfaiomy (30). 6+ family members. 27.5k out of 65k USD.

Ula El Hindi (31). 1+ individuals. 8.6k out of 15k €.

Muhammad Safi (32). 5+ family members. 4.5k out of 30k BP. LOW ON FUNDS.

Yazan Khalaf (33). 18 family members. 16.9k out of 40k USD.

Afaf Masoud (34). 5+ family members (2 evacuated). 83.8k out of 110k €.

Motasem Khayal (35). 5 family members. 1k out of 43k € (26.5k needed for escape.) EXTREMELY LOW, NEEDS FUNDS.

Youseff Abu Saeed (36). 3 family members (1 is already out for treatment). 155k out of 200k USD.

Abdulaziz & Abdullah, escape & surgery (37). 2+ family members (1 has already been treated, 1 NEEDS TREATMENT). 96.3k out of 150k BP.

Nadine Abdullatif (38). 8 family members. COMPLETED ✅

Sami Salhab (39). 6 family members. COMPLETED ✅

Jehad Al Ghandour (40). 5 family members (1 already evacuated). 31k out of 100k USD

Mahmoud Algharabli (41) COMPLETED ✅ (check last section for more info)

Dr. Marah & family (42). 2+ family members. 7.2k out of 40k USD. LOW ON FUNDS.

Khaled Alshabrawi (43). 5 family members. 1.5k out of 35k € (25k needed for escape, but will begin with 10k for stable housing). LOW ON FUNDS.

Muhammad Osama Alzaq (44). 5 family members. 3.1k out of 60k BP. LOW ON FUNDS.

Mohammed Wishah (45). 7 family members + 1 pet. 7.9k out of 71.5k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Muhe Ayman (46). 5+ family members. 6k out of 60k €. (CAUTION: If you scroll down in the GFM there are photos of mutilated and dead babies.) LOW ON FUNDS.

Abdallah Animal Rescue (47). 1 individual + lots of pets. 34.5k out of 40k USD. (NEARLY COMPLETE)

Haya Orouq (48). 5 family members (1 injured, NEEDS TREATMENT). 35.9k out of 50k.

Retaj Abu Abdo (49). 8 family members. 9.1k out of 60k USD.

Mohammed Zyad (50). 9 family members (1 MISCARRIAGE). 5.6k out of 40k BP. LOW ON FUNDS.

Souad Al-Kurdi (51). 5 family members (1 DIABETIC W/O INSULIN, CRITICAL, 1 INJURY). 3.7k out of 50k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Mahdy Zourob (52). 1 individual. 622 out of 20k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Ahmed Alboji (53). 5 family members. 78.4k out of 100k USD. (TIME SENSITIVE)

Sama Lulu (54). 7 family members. 5.4k out of 80k USD. LOW ON FUNDS. (CAUTION: PHOTO OF INJURED CHILD IN GFM)

Fadel Moghrabi (55). 4 family members. 33.3k out of 40k USD. (NEARLY COMPLETE)

Qosai Hani (56). 2(+?) family members. 28.2k out of 40k USD.

Khaled Khraizim (57). 14 family members. 32.6k out of 100k €.

Ahmed Raida (58). 3 family members (1 INJURED, NEEDS TREATMENT). COMPLETED ✅

Rozan family (59). 6 family members. 3.6k out of 38k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Samah Oudh (60). 5 family members. 30k out of 35k USD. (NEARLY COMPLETE)

Qasim Al-Kafarneh (alternatively: gfm) (61). 33 family members. COMPLETE ✅

Mahmoud Qassas (62). 42 family members. 6.9k out of 200k CAD. (ONE CHRONICALLY ILL, NEEDS TREATMENT)

Hussam Ramadan (63). 14 family members. 14.8k out of 148k USD. LOW ON FUNDS.

Sana'a & Sujood (64). 8 family members. 8.8k out of 50k BP. LOW ON FUNDS.

Yousef Mounir (65). 5 family members. 65 out of 50k BP. LOW ON FUNDS.

Muhammad Mounir (66). 4 family members. 1.1k out of 45k BP. LOW ON FUNDS.

Hamdi Hijazi (67). 5 family members (1 NEWBORN, 1 MATERNITY RECOVERY) 889 out of 25k USD. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Maram Ahmed (68). 5 family members. 338 out of 30k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Dr. Alaa Raed (69). 8 family members. 6k out of 40k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Fadi & Shahed Sharif (70). 11 family members (1 INFANT). 265 out of 62.5k USD. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Suheir Hojok (71). 10 family members (1 INJURED, PRONE TO STROKE, NEEDS IMMEDIATE EVACUATION). 16.3k out of 70k AUD. LOW ON FUNDS.

Haitham Gibreel (72). 7 family members (1 CHRONICALLY ILL). 340 out of 50k BP. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Hatem H. Rawagh (73). 5+ family members. 8k out of 40k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Ze (74). 3 family members. COMPLETE ✅

Hani Al-Hajjar (75). 10 family members. 1.7k out of 50k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Abdelrahman Abu Shaaban (76). 16+ family members. 3.3k out of 70k BP. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Help Little Yusuf (77). 8 family members (1 CHRONICALLY ILL, NEEDS TREATMENT). 0 out of 85k €. NO FUNDS AT ALL!!

Alia's family (78). 10 out of 30k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Jehad Ahmad (79). 8 family members. 290 out of 40k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Muhammad Al-Kurdi (80). 4+ family members. NO FUNDS AT ALL!!

Yousef Abo Zaid (81). 8+ family members. 501 out of 50k BP.EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Ruba & Mohammad (82). 2+ family members. LOW ON FUNDS.

Ahmed Zidan (83). 3+ family members. 6.7k out of 30k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Wisam Mahdi (84). 25 family members. 9.3k out of 10k BP. NEARLY COMPLETE: 630 BP LEFT. (TIME SENSITIVE: ILLNESS)

Nael Helles (85). 8 family members. 1.5k out of 50k USD. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Alia's family (86). 7 family members. 1.3k out of 30k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Hala's family (87). 3 family members. 2k out of 50k. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Mohammed Al Shaer (88). 5 family members. 692 out of 50k BP. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Sahar El Tibi (89). 3 family members. 548 out of 30k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Amal & Ruba (90). 3+ family members (1 CRITICAL CONDITION , NEEDS TREATMENT). 1.7k out of 50k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Mahmoud Al Tibi (91). 15 family members (4 NEED TREATMENT). 1.8k out of 60k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Abdullah Haniyah (92). 8 family members (1 PREGNANT). 355 out of 47k USD. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Heba Zaqout (93). 2 family members. 1k out of 15k needed. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Mohammed Nasri (94). 5 family members. 7k out of 50k BP. LOW ON FUNDS.

Alaa & Belaal (95). 2+ family members. 47 out of 15k $. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Ahmad Turk (96). 7 family members + 1 pet. 1.5k out of 70k €. EXTREMELY LOW ON FUNDS.

Mahmoud's family (97). 7 family members. 4.6k out of 35k €. LOW ON FUNDS.

Tamar Nijim (98). 7 family members (2 INJURED, 1 STROKE, NEED TREATMENT). 11.9k out of 70k €.

Alaa Al Khateeb (99). 1 family member (INJURED, NEEDS TREATMENT). 837 out of 6k BP.

Abu El Zomar (100). 5 family members (1 INJURED). 2.4k out of 50k €.

Aboud & Elias (101). 2 family members (ORPHANS, LAST SURVIVING MEMBERS OF FAMILY). 840 out of 25k €.

Haifa Hasan (102). 5 family members. 765 out of 25k €.

Walid El Shawwa (103). 6 family members. 1.8k out of 50k €. (1 SICK, NEEDS TREATMENT)

Alaa Al Halaabi (104). 17 family members. 1.9k out of 50k €.

Jana Abu Hamda (105). 6 family members. 602 out of 65k USD.

Ottawa4Palestine’s vetted fundraiser spreadsheet (76 different families with listed fundraisers)

[the-smol-cricket]

It's already May 15th here so long live the Ice Queen