the-tailer

[the-tailer]

“deku’s just a big crybaby” bitch midoriya doesn’t have a single pain receptor his response to repeatedly self-obliterating his bones is “what other bones can i use” motherfucker cries about a lot of shit but i know that your ass fucking folded faster than a wet paper lunch bag when that razor scooter chopped your ankle stfu

[the-tailer]

Kirishima: Woah! Midoriya, you’re so strong. How much can you lift?

Midoriya: Almost enough to carry the crushing weight of existence

[the-tailer]

okay proposal:

midoryia insults people but it’s like a polite version of bakugou’s insults like “please stop breathing for an hour” or “can you please do me a favor and staple your fingers together” and “if you could so kindly stop talking forever that would be great!”

[the-tailer]

i imagine midoriya staring up at his ceiling after he finds out all might’s secret unable to sleep because all he can think about is holy shit all might is pulling a hannah montana

[the-tailer]

[Kindergarten]

Midoriya: Teacher! Kacchan called me the B-word!!

Teacher: Bakugou, did you call Midoriya the B-word?

Bakugou: Motherfucker doesn’t start with a B

[the-tailer]

MIDORIYA IS A FANBOY. HE HAS A STAN TWITTER ACCOUNT. HE IS FLUENT IN STAN TWT LANGUAGE AND MEMES.

[the-tailer]

bakugou is the type to slam the door on his way out when he’s angry

todoroki is the type to leave it open so he gets the satisfaction of knowing you had to get up to close it yourself

canon bakugou when it comes to authorities is like “iON FUCKIN LIKE IT BUT I’LL DO IT AND VERY UNHAPPILY SHIT STICKS D:<“ and then canon todoroki when it comes to authorities is like “i’ll throw hands with my dad, i’ll throw hands with the chief of police, ill throw hands with mr. mcfuckin’ obama himself i don’t give a single SHIT”

[the-tailer]

canon bakugou when it comes to authorities is like “iON FUCKIN LIKE IT BUT I’LL DO IT AND VERY UNHAPPILY SHIT STICKS D:<“ and then canon todoroki when it comes to authorities is like “i’ll throw hands with my dad, i’ll throw hands with the chief of police, ill throw hands with mr. mcfuckin’ obama himself i don’t give a single SHIT”

[the-tailer]

Kaminari: Do you take constructive criticism?

Bakugou: I only take cash or credit

[the-tailer]

sure innocent cinnamon roll izuku is nice but i also want deadpanned deku that looks says super sarcastic shit under his breath while taking a long sip from his large americano, no water, all ice and four (4) extra shots of espresso and i want him to never do it louder than anyone other than kaminari can hear so the walking light socket is just like “nO GUYS REALLY MIDORIYA REALLY SAID IT HOW DID YOU NOT HEAR HIM HE REALLY DID LISTEN—“ like one day kirishima jumps bakugou and he looks denki dead in the eyes and says “fellas, is it gay,” and the power strip just

[the-tailer]

Midoryia: Stab wound? I think you mean extra pocket

Todoroki: Midoriya, and I can not stress this enough, no

[the-tailer]

traitor denki/villain izuku literally make my sadistic rarepair heart have a STROKE

[the-tailer]

Hinata: FIGHT ME

Kageyama: You’re 5’5”

Hinata: OF RAGE

[the-tailer]

“I think this is my super villain origin.”

—Midoriya Izuku, At Any Mild Inconvenience

[the-tailer]

[About Midoriya]

Todoroki: I would DIE for him

Shinsou: I would kill fIVE (5) men for him

Katsuki: Just five (5)?

[the-tailer]

my account looks like an eyesore but if you can find a single fuck for me to give i will be amazed

[the-tailer]

headcanon that midoriya combines various insults he’s heard (mostly from bakugou) to create really weirdly unsettling threats like “i’m gonna boil your kneecaps in apple juice” and “i will harvest your teeth from your skull, grind them into dust, mix it with sierra mist, and force feed you your own teeth juice” and it somehow hurts more than any insult katsuki throws