the-ventor

[the-ventor]

Everyone says my performance at school has dropped. I don't know if it has or it's always been like this,the grade I'm doing is harder than it looks :(

Don't know if I can do it anymore or can continue

I don't wanna repeat a grade

I'm just tired, most of the time I can't remember shit, sometimes I just want to curl up and cry.

It's not like I'm not interested anymore, I am, but my motivation is 0%

My teachers and my parents expect so much of me because of something I won't mention

Now my parents are threatening to confiscate my phone if my grades drop because I have been too much on it, so, yeppie...

[the-ventor]

It's not fair...my parents keep forgetting me and my schedule, when I have tuition etc...yet they remember my sister's, I understand that she's failing but...I guess I'm being selfish, yet I cannot help but be hurt for example today my mom and my dad said they'll go to prayer at a certain time, I have tuition at that time and my sister has hers after mine, they remember her but they don't remember me...I even burst into frustration at my mom, telling her that you and dad always forget my tuition time...but she just said, "it's fine you'll go to prayer later" Am I overreacting and being selfish?

[the-ventor]

[the-ventor]

Hm...

I have ending my life letters in mind...

[the-ventor]

heyy! Ik it'd seem like a really stupid question but are you okay? Not to be a creep, but I'm here if stuff gets hard to deal w

-@yeeteddemigod

@yeeteddemigod

My life has a lot of ups and downs I guess, and the downs, are like a huge pit that I can't pull myself out of... I'm not really ok, but...I want to try to be... It's hard and I'm scared

[the-ventor]

Wanna put a cotton ball in my throat for some reason, don't have one though...

[the-ventor]

Me being desperate for attention like the disgusting thing that I am: Please go through my blog?

[the-ventor]

Feeling's back again because of recent events...I know where the poison is.

Wanna kms

[the-ventor]

...

I was right...

Yesterday I had a very good day and today was a bad day, it's always like that... I had a feeling it would be,this was accentuated by the fact that I was remembering all the bad things my parents did to me... Well today...we bought a ring and leash for my bird. He was wriggling while me and my sister tried to make him wear it, so we asked our father for help...but it was horrifying. I couldn't bear the sounds of his screams or chirps whatever as we held him down and put the ring on him. It was partly successful,we put it but he managed to remove it. I didn't want to go through that again, my bird was in a bad shape, his beak wide open. I asked my father to let it be but he persisted. I still told him no, he got mad, he said we wasted Rs40 (0.87USD), the thing is, months prior, I was about to waste Rs1000 (21.84USD) and he had said everyone makes mistakes... But why is he mad now? He's ignoring me and my sister now...I don't understand, my bird's wellbeing is much more precious than a ring. Perhaps because he genuinely doesn't like my bird, he likes the other one, an Indian parrot instead. Or he just... dislikes me, he did yell at me two weeks ago again anyway. But it would be weird that he's ignoring my sister who is kinda her favourite. I hate myself for wasting money, I hate myself for making my bird suffer, I'm a horrible person... He's avoiding me, I overheard his conversation with my mother that he is avoiding me...:(

[the-ventor]

Wanna kms

[the-ventor]

It's in my head, I've figured that, and throughout the week, people from her friend group have come forward and asked what was happening...and things have gotten somewhat better now I suppose

Anyways, Tsarina Alexandra was born Princess Alix of Hesse, I don't know why they got married sorry

I want a friend...I know this post won't be seen but still. I'm a bit lonely,and I would like to bond,this is very stupid I know,and I am playing a dangerous game,and I care,I care about my safety and everything,but for just a moment, I want to talk.

[the-ventor]

I believe it's just in my head, I wish I could find a therapist but I don't have the resources sorry...but I've been getting over it I believe...it just takes time

Her wife was the granddaughter of Queen Victoria and Princess (or something) of Hesse, which now I think forms part of Germany, I don't know much about that unfortunately

I want a friend...I know this post won't be seen but still. I'm a bit lonely,and I would like to bond,this is very stupid I know,and I am playing a dangerous game,and I care,I care about my safety and everything,but for just a moment, I want to talk.

[the-ventor]

[the-ventor]

[the-ventor]

[the-ventor]

[the-ventor]

Honestly I want to cry...I think I will

Why do I feel like I am failing at everything...?