theartificialkiwi - Tumblr blog

[theartificialkiwi]

Update. (Wow!)

Hi.

It has been a really long time since I did anything. Life has gotten in the way.

A Levels have kicked my ass and I turned 18 and it's all been a weird, weird time. I was 14 when I was writing fanfiction but it has actually been an important part of my life. I became a more confident writer, person and it helped me develop skills I'd never expect from writing about two drag queens.

I don't intend to write again. I was thinking of dumping any fanfiction related stuff on here that I have written in the past and letting whoever pleases take it (that's if I haven't deleted that folder...)

For the few people that still follow this blog & those who read my strange stories, thank you. I got the highest possible grade in my English GCSE's probably thanks to your support.

I am HOPEFULLY going to University in September in Scotland to study MA History (my interest in history may have come through in my writing, I don't know). I'm currently on a train and have two more exams to do but, minus the exams, I am probably the happiest I have been. (I also have a boyfriend & we are moving out together soon. I used to write about stories like this! It's real now! For me!)

So if you had any concerns about me, don't worry. If you didn't, now you know. Feel free to message me whenever.

Love

Kiwi

[theartificialkiwi]

Idk where are you now, but i hope youre happy and healthy, merry late xmas and hope you have a great 2019 💖

Hey thank you! First time I've logged on for forever. Hope you're well sweet anon.

[theartificialkiwi]

Are you the person who wrote All Grown Up? Cause I love that fic. I just love it. I love Jinkx and Dela so much and I am so happy any time I see a fic about the two of them. If you ever write another one I would read it in a heartbeat.

I am not! :-( Sorry

[theartificialkiwi]

Hi, i saw your name on AQ beta list and i was wondering if you could beta my story for me?

yeah, of course!

[theartificialkiwi]

why do people call people lightweights as if it’s a bad thing??? you paid 20 bucks to get drunk I paid 5 sry you’re sad

[theartificialkiwi]

It isn’t a fanfic unless Main Character has to tear their gaze away from the strip of skin revealed above Love Interest’s waistband when they casually stretch their arms above their head.

[theartificialkiwi]

mutual pining: good

fake married: nice

fake married while mutually pining: OH MY GOD!!!FUCK!!! OH MY GOD FUCKING HELL LORD ABOVE AAHHHHHH!!! FUCK!!!!!

[theartificialkiwi]

hi! i just wrote a 400-ish word fic and was wondering if you could beta it for me ? thanks !

of course! it's what i'm here for 💞

[theartificialkiwi]

Tag Yourself: Fanfiction Authors Edition

the newbie: has written like 1 super cliche fic, doesn't space paragraphs, everyone secretly hates them but doesn't want to be rude

the high schooler: only writes high school aus, is actually a middle schooler, writes 3 chapters then gives up and writes a new fic, wants to be more creative but nahhhh

the firecracker: CRACK FICS, just writes weird shit, usually only writes one shots but when they do go for chaptered it's super creative and well done, likes body swap a lot, always uses overdone memes

the fluffmaster: their stuff is short and sweet, always G rated, but they secretly have ten million kinks

the texter: can literally only write group chat fics, not creative enough for anything else

the infamous: wrote only one fic ever but it was super long and it's the most popular in the fandom

the smut addict: only writes smut, probably really kinky, seriously though you haven't even heard of half of these, this is messed up

the nonexistent: writes such average fics that you forget them, but they're actually really creative

the procrastinator: chapter 2??? what chapter 2???

the wattpad: writes self insert fics for one direction, uses wattpad, probably 9 years old, always adds vampires, generally hated

the monster: likes hurting the characters, will make you cry, kills off a lot of the characters, wHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS???

[theartificialkiwi]

“This is your daily, friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialogue of your story,” she said with a smile.

[theartificialkiwi]

WHY ARE YOU SO GAY

favorite pearlet fics?

* = one shot

What’s Your Real Name? *

Drive By

Cure *

If We’re Sinners Then It Feels Like Heaven (Hiatus)

Halfway (on going)

Stranger’s Hand *

Stranger’s Hand Alternative Ending

These make up my favorites. There are plenty more though! Feel free to ask specific genres. 

[theartificialkiwi]

Actually

The question I get the most is how I write characters that feel like real people. 

Generally when I’m designing a human being, I deconstruct them into 7 major categories:

1. Primary Drive 2. Fear: Major and Secondary 3. Physical Desires 4. Style of self expression 5. How they express affection 6. What controls them (what they are weak for) 7. What part of them will change.

1. Primary Drive: This is generally related to the plot. What are their plot related goals? How are they pulling the plot forward? how do they make decisions? What do they think they’re doing and how do they justify doing it. 2. Fear: First, what is their deep fear? Abandonment? being consumed by power? etc. Second: tiny fears. Spiders. someone licking their neck. Small things that bother them. At least 4. 3. Physical desires. How they feel about touch. What is their perceived sexual/romantic orientation. Do their physical desires match up with their psychological desires.

4. Style of self expression: How they talk. Are they shy? Do they like to joke around and if so, how? Are they anxious or confident internally and how do they express that externally. What do words mean to them? More or less than actions? Does their socioeconomic background affect the way they present themselves socially?  5. How they express affection: Do they express affection through actions or words. Is expressing affection easy for them or not. How quickly do they open up to someone they like. Does their affection match up with their physical desires. how does the way they show their friends that they love them differ from how they show a potential love interest that they love them. is affection something they struggle with?

6. What controls them (what they are weak for): what are they almost entirely helpless against. What is something that influences them regardless of their own moral code. What– if driven to the end of the wire— would they reject sacrificing. What/who would they cut off their own finger for.  What would they kill for, if pushed. What makes them want to curl up and never go outside again from pain. What makes them sink to their knees from weakness or relief. What would make them weep tears of joy regardless where they were and who they were in front of. 

7. WHAT PART OF THEM WILL CHANGE: people develop over time. At least two of the above six categories will be altered by the storyline–either to an extreme or whittled down to nothing. When a person experiences trauma, their primary fear may change, or how they express affection may change, etc. By the time your book is over, they should have developed. And its important to decide which parts of them will be the ones that slowly get altered so you can work on monitoring it as you write. making it congruent with the plot instead of just a reaction to the plot. 

That’s it.

But most of all, you have to treat this like you’re developing a human being. Not a “character” a living breathing person. When you talk, you use their voice. If you want them to say something and it doesn’t seem like (based on the seven characteristics above) that they would say it, what would they say instead?

If they must do something that’s forced by the plot, that they wouldn’t do based on their seven options, they can still do the thing, but how would they feel internally about doing it?

How do their seven characteristics meet/ meld with someone else’s seven and how will they change each other?

Once you can come up with all the answers to all of these questions, you begin to know your character like you’d know one of your friends. When you can place them in any AU and know how they would react.

They start to breathe.

[theartificialkiwi]

writer in the movies: dark, brooding, cynical to a fault, graceful, always bursting with ideas, constantly talking like they're reading the dictionary, constantly working on their piece, dedicated to the extent they could lose everything

me as a writer: chokes on popcorn while scrolling tumblr, haven't even looked at my work in a week

[theartificialkiwi]

There are a couple of things about current shipping culture that confuse me.  

1. The focus on whether or not a pairing will become canon as a reason people should ship something or not.  Do you not understand what the “transformative” part of “transformative works” means?”

2. This idea that saying “I ship that” means “I think that, as presented in canon,this is a perfect, healthy relationship that everyone should model their relationship after.” 

Sometimes shipping something does mean that.  Sometimes shipping something means “Person A is a trash bag who doesn’t deserve person B but I would love to explore how Person A might grow to deserve Person B.” Sometimes it means “I want these characters to live together forever in a conflict free domestic AU.”  Sometimes it means “I want Person A to forever pine after Person B.  Nothing is beautiful and everything hurts.”  And sometimes it just means you like their faces and want to see Person A and Person B bone in various configurations and universes. 

[theartificialkiwi]

Fic writers are honest to god like the best people on this earth. Like they write these massive stories that are better described as books and the only thing they ask for in payment is a review. Like seriously. These people spend months of time planning and writing and thinking and they don’t even get PAID. Fic authors are amazing and deserve the best, that is all

[theartificialkiwi]

I absolutely love ships where one character is usually serious and distant, but when they talk to that one person, their voice turns soft and gentle and is suddenly filled with fondness that they don’t show to anyone else.

[theartificialkiwi]

never let anybody tell you that spite isn’t a motivator. i’ve gotten out of writer’s block and finished drabbles and shortfics because of spite. i’ve done swaths of fanart for whole fandoms out of sheer seething over a notp. i’ve gotten up and done laundry and all the dishes in the house because i saw some nasty ship art and needed to step away from the computer. misdirected fictional butthurt is a fossil fuel my friend and some days you gotta leave a carbon footprint