thebatmmanalyzer

[thebatmmanalyzer]

This was the book my friend recommended.

Cheesecake and Stars by Anonymous

Here is my commentary on the sixth chapter:

Story critiques and character improvement (?)

BINO or Wilson or whatever you want to name him isn't said much here.

CHAPTER 6

A constant issue that I would like to bring up again is the lack of description of the story. Because with what we have so far, you can't seriously expect the audience to guess what certain phrases mean. What if you had an audience in one fandom but not in the other? Really, some things need to be explained, like the magic system of this world, Force, and whatever fighting style the two boys are doing. The lack of sequence of action is also a fault of this story. Action sequences in books are hard, I admit, but that doesn't mean you can just simplify it to saying "Form 2" because what the heck is Form 2? Is the audience expected to Google it? If the audience has to Google it, then, that means the story failed in its deliverance. And like, when there would be scenes with a lot of description, it would be inconsistent. Like, two people are writing this or something. One person is writing this paragraph and the other wrote the next. This probably isn't the case, but you get my example.

Another thing I would like to address is the way that the characters speak. Because in no way does a fourth of what they say actually function in real-life situations. If they do, then the author could have added more expressions other than curt sighs, grumbled, and mumbled. Maybe it wasn't in their writing expertise yet but describing a character's facial features would be a great way to express how the person actually feels. Especially the eyes. The eyes are the windows to the soul. That is very true in terms of writing.

Another problem is the fact that the storyline doesn't add up. Like, the story continues on and on but then there is just a phrase or a paragraph explanation where it just ruins the whole timeline. It's like talking to Character AI for so long and then the character suddenly just asks "Who are you?" Like, DUDE. You did not just ask who I was when we were MARRIED and had SIX KIDS. I'm exaggerating, but you get what I mean. Again, I have a theory that this was just a roleplay that kids published and got popular, idk.

So, a good thing about this chapter is that Crusher isn't a Damsel in Distress (TM) in this chapter. He got to fight Darry while pushing Blaze out of the fight. And we finally have a bit of insight into the home life of whatever Darry, Ezra, and Crusher had! Honestly, it explained how murder was so normalized. With the way Thrawn reacted to Darry attempting to kill his brother, it sort of made sense. But that only meant that Darry was raised wrong and the core problem was actually HIS PARENTS! Still, I don't think I want Darry to be redeemed. Just because you have a tragic backstory doesn't mean it excuses all of your actions.

Also, can we just talk about how… Normalized this whole "Just date all the guys you want" thing is? Because it sounds a hell lot like cheating. But is it considered cheating if everyone knows the other is involved? This feels a whole lot like an otome game. I mean… It also moves like an otome game… The fights, the plot, the logic…

Live reactions

"I think that would be accurate for you, actually," [I think it would be more beneficial that the author describes these forms rather than just telling the audience which number form they're doing.]

"Who knew Stripes could have a cowardly sister…? Jeez…" [Who knew Crusher had a petty overzealous murder-loving brother. Jeez. Besides, Rose is acting what a normal person actually would. Self-defense ain't going to do NOTHING when a giant wolf snatches your arm and then traps you into a cage.]

She couldn't be revived by a core and she's only human. [Again, an explanation could be nice.]

"Well, fuck you too. Deal first, or I ain't giving SHIT!" Darry scowled. [A deal requires trust. Darry is a villain who kidnaps Blaze's sister and almost kills her. Why would Blaze trust her? Blaze is right for not trusting Darry to go through deals and such.]

Darry shrieked as he felt Crusher move his brain a bit before passing out. [EXCUSE ME?]

"I am to help Ashla, not Bogan, but I have been given as a guide for your brother." Dume spoke. [Lore anyone?]

"Darington, shut up!" [No, no. Let Darington cook.]

Well, that was unexpected. [… what the fuck? You… This is comedic actually. This was funny.]

Pickle stomped on his foot, making Darington wince. [ Am not gonna lie, I like the Pickle vs. Darington rivalry. Darington is such a funny character actually. I hope he doesn't turn bad.]

but I came here to study," [I think you came here to find a job. That was literally the first thing established in the beginning of the story.]

Thrawn snarled and grabbed a bat to smack Darry down. [No wonder murder is so normalized. Darry grew up in THIS environment. What the hell, author…]

Stripes's voice was getting smaller and smaller, as if he was afraid that he might get rejected. [Can I tell you how much I love this boy? I don't care about the others, but this sweet cinnamon roll? I love him. I absolutely love him. Please let nothing bad happen to him.]

"Well… Why don't you go out with all of them?" [Watts, are you okay? Is this another imposter?]

"Or find someone better," Starla added [She's such a mood.]

Sex… he hasn't had that in a while… [Please don't tell me you're actually considering it. I'm disappointed. I had high hopes for Dior.]

Stripes slightly deflated, [Stripes deserves better.]

[thebatmmanalyzer]

If you are ever looking for other fanfictions to read in this fandom (no pressure ofc), I personally recommend checking out some of the older fics from around 2021. They haven't aged super well imo, but they're still a nice read and better than some of the 2024 fics imo.

I remember liking "A Change of Family" a lot. It's a rewrite of the show with the change of Crusher being adopted by Blaze's family. Do be warned though, it has an ooc Speedrick replacing Crusher's role, as was the sentiment back in the day.

Thank you for the wonderful suggestion! I'll probably read this after I'm done with Cheesecakes and Stars. I would need a good fic after reading the things I had.

But it's going to be in a while. I'm just really slow at reading because I have work to do lol.

Also, I really like your Umizoomi content. Keep up the good work!

[thebatmmanalyzer]

This was the book my friend recommended first.

Cheesecake and Stars by Anonymous

Here is my commentary on the fifth chapter:

TL;DR: I hate Blaze. Or as another person said, BINO (Blaze-in-name-only)

CHAPTER 5

I applaud the story starting with the fake Crusher to know that the plan was already in place. It was a sudden but a good transition. Showing, not telling. And foreshadowing! My favorite! The author was able to use these literary tips and techniques, and this made me realize that the author is not as dumb as they appear to be. That meant that they had the decision to make this story a whole lot better but completely ignored that choice and decided that the choice itself never existed. They even had setups where they could have used dialogue as a way to explain it, but nope! Explanation? What's that?

Blaze is playing hero but I still don't like him. Look, just because he showed emotion of anger in Taskavt taking Crusher and making his sister dissipate into thin air (literally), it doesn't mean he is a good person. He still STALKED Crusher, he SEXUALIZED him, he NEGLECTED his sister, and other things that a hero is NOT supposed to do. I'm not saying that a hero is supposed to be perfect. I'm saying that the hero should have morals at the very least. And he's not even against murder! Again, murder is never the answer, but Blaze? He thinks murder is the ABSOLUTE solution in gettng rid of Taskavt. Why is murder so normalized here, honestly. It's like you're completely not just erasing life off a planet.

Crusher is nothing but a Damsel in Distress (TM). I'm seeing a pattern in these chapters. He is the target of the attack and therefore, he needs protection. So, these guys that he barely met a few weeks ago became his protectors, and each of them could be eligible to be his prince charming who eventually rescues him from all of this. From how the story is going, it seems like Blaze is going to be the main love interest. But I am honestly loving Stripes's interaction with Blaze because he RESPECTS Crusher's everything. Anyway, back to the topic. Crusher gets in trouble, he gets saved, and the other guys wait to be awarded. It's already chapter five and maybe it's too early to really call Crusher a Marty Stu, but he's definitely a Damsel in Distress (TM).

Not gonna lie… This was an awesome chapter that FINALLY explored some dynamics in the friend group. The previous chapters just focused on Crusher and his situation. Two were dedicated to Taskavt. I feel like things are going too fast, but clearly, it isn't since this has 56 chapters… Still, I'm glad that this chapter took time to explore the group dynamic. I find Starla's and Darington's interactions funny because they remind me of my siblings' dynamic. But other than my praise for this chapter, I do say that Darington and Blaze are a bit problematic. The friends-with-benefits thing is… weird. Especially if they're doing it as a group. But I'm guessing Darington and Blaze initiated all of this because from my impressions, they are the most active when it comes to these things, citing the previous chapter and this chapter where they just disappeared into another room.

Live Reactions

Guess they sensed the illusion disc too well. [An explanation could be good here. Like, what the heck is an illusion disc? What does it look like? How does it work?]

Guess he was more used to cleaning up guns than cleaning cages. [Showing would have been better. Like, maybe a background to see this character cleaning guns with his friends or something…]

"I'm fine," Crusher crossed his arms. "I just don't like hugs," [This is probably Ezra, right? Well, if he really was his brother and he wanted to pull off this imposter thing, then he should know his brother's tendencies.]

"Fibbing. Crusher doesn't fib." [How do you know? Again, you have known this person for less than a year.]

Blaze growled as he turned into Sonic [HE IS A FAKER.] [I KNEW IT.]

Blaze breathed as he used his shapeshifting powers [A description would have been nice.]

"That song… you… you lied to me…" [FORESHADOWING! LOVE THAT!]

Darry hummed before chuckling, forcing his own dagger into Ezra's stomach. [What the heck, Darry. I thought you just hated Crusher. Now I'm just convinced you're evil for the plot. Please don't tell me you're going to get a redemption arc.]

"Because he needs help!" [He impersonated your friend and tried to kill him. Without all the context of not knowing that he was betrayed, you could say he deserved this.]

"Blaze, no!" Pickle cried. [BLAZE, YES. He has arguably the valid reasons why he should kill Taskavt. Unlike Taskavt whose only reason to kill Crusher was because he was the golden child.]

"MY SISTER TALKED TO HIM AND NOW SHE'S FUCKING DUST!" [Oh, so now you care? Because in the previous chapter, you swept her under the dust so that Crusher could be assured and comfortable. Hypocrite.]

"Why can't we?" Blaze growled. [At least you're displaying other emotions other than lust and cockiness. Actually, I have to question, why is murder so normalized in this fanfiction about racing monster trucks that solve simple STEM questions?]

then we're no better than he is…" [Alright, Batman.]

"okay, fuckers. What in tarnation has gotten into all of you? Have y'all got Crusher fever or something?" [ FINALLY. Someone called it out!!!]

"You boys better not be thinking about getting him in bed," Starla growled. [Starla has my vote.]

they a likey you," [Brother, eugh . Don't say that ever again. It sounds like they're texting or something.]

Zeg spared Ezra a glance then went to get another blanket for him [I like Zeg x Ezra. This seems… Fine. Better than whatever trash fire is happening with Blaze, Crusher, and everyone else.]

Starla shoved Darington out of the couch. [They're giving sibling dynamic]

"I dare you to go wear that lingerie I left at Zeg's place," [What the fuc-]

Ezra wants a hot night. [He's going to stalk Ezra next, won't he?]

"Zeg…" [That's cute.]

"Am confusion…" [This is better much used in text than a story]

"Zeg dares you to sit on hottest person's lap for the rest of the game." [ I expected better from you, Zeg.]

"What's the Force?" Zeg asked as he tilted his head. [This was a good way to insert an explanation about what the hell "The Force" is. But the author just dismissed it as magic… I'm pretty sure Force and magic are different.]

[thebatmmanalyzer]

And now, a little ditty that summarizes "Cheesecake and Stars"' Blaze (aka BINO): 🎵 Here's an open letter to a treasure of a guy, whose behavior in this fic makes me really wanna cry! He's a nasty, fake red schemer who calls himself a hero, but all I'm saying is that he's more of a ¡bruto! He'll tell you that he likes you, but you're something he can't stand! He's just so full of you-know-what he's gotta double flush the can! He'll tell you that he'll apologize, but he makes you wait and wait! You'd almost rather want to watch drying paint! He's not the guy you think he is, so let me tell you without laze: there's thick red hair between his toes, and his real name isn't Blaze! He's a phony, scheming weasel nose, and his real name isn't Blaze! He steals and he lies, and he's evil, bros, and his real name isn't Blaze!🎵 It's WILSON!

HAHAHAHA! OH MY GAWD!

OH MY GAWWWWWD.

Okay, this made my day.

We're calling Cheesecake and Stars Blaze "Wilson" now.

[thebatmmanalyzer]

Which story are you gonna review next? Just asking!!

WOO! MY FIRST ASK!

I have no plans for the next story, but I'm thinking of something from the same series Cheesecake and Stars is from.

First Era?

Idk why the author named it that. It's not like they came back, did they...

Wait, are they planning to?

If they are, I would like to share a few words! I think they're older now and I would like to help them. For example, I would like to teach them how to explain through narrative. So far, that's the constant problem in the story that I've read. There are instances where they were able to explain some things through narrative, but it isn't enough. It still leaves the reader confused and wondering, and if the reader has to google it or be in both fandoms at the same time to understand what the writer is supposed to be saying, then the delivery of lore and other important things for the story isn't good.

And maybe they could learn a thing or two about Chekhov's gun. The rule is: If you won't use it, don't mention it.

Oh, I went waaaaay out with a long rant here.

Anyway, I'm a bit undecided but I'm planning to just spin the wheel on which story's my next. I wanna review this person's collection because I heard from my friend that their stories used to be a lot of people's favorites.

[thebatmmanalyzer]

Lol I can't believe people actually read my reviews.

This was the book my friend recommended first.

Cheesecake and Stars by Anonymous

Here is my commentary on the fourth chapter:

My stars, this chapter outraged me.

Main characters mentioned here are Darry, Crusher, Sparkle, BLAZE, and Rose and Stripes.

Chapter 4

I would like to voice my dislike of the notes once again. It's just plain spoilers. But again, this story was written when the author was young (at least that's my impression. Who knows if the author just badly writes stories like this). Some of my live reactions would be criticism of the writing and ways of improvement.

With that aside, I would like to express my sincerest annoyance for this story with a song called dumb dumb by mazie

Darry was really highlighted as the villain of this chapter, but it's only the fourth chapter and everything he is doing is already moving too fast and everyone reacting to him and his plans are all incredibly annoying and dumb, with Blaze and Sparkle taking a highlight to the most annoying people of this chapter. I wanted to react to more when it comes to Blaze's and Sparkle's dialogues, but if I did, I would never be able to write this review.

First, I would like to discuss Darry's motivations. One word: Petty. Darry's jealousy of Crusher being a golden child is nothing but pettiness. Okay, maybe it isn't ALL too petty. But the way the narrative displays it makes it seem that it's nothing but pettiness, jealousy, and resentment that Darry became Taskavt so he could kill Crusher. Honestly, if anything, Darry should be going after his parents for favoring Crusher. And the last bit about Darry telling his brother that Crusher is dead and an imposter replaced him… Honestly, I thought it was dumb because in no way would anyone fall for that. Right? But, well, I guess I was wrong. And honestly, as it's unfolding, I am getting on board with this manipulation tactic. It's not a smart tactic, but the narrative makes it look smart so that Darry could appear cunning, devious, and manipulative. The narrative tries so hard to make Darry intimidating that it ends up making him look petty. And all this just to kill Crusher. As far as the story is concerned, there isn't even anything for Darry to kill Crusher for! He never had a backstory, he never had a proper explanation! What happened to the "Show, don't tell" principle? Gone! Completely gone!

And talking about Crusher, he must be an anomaly or something because everyone around him just starts acting weird . Blaze was so willing to choose this guy he met for a few weeks over his sister to the point where she had to kill herself to save herself from being eaten by a giant dog. And then after that, Blaze still brushes off his issues with Sparkle in favor of comforting Crusher. Kurasha just met with his friends after a dangerous situation and then the three of them went to a movie instead of addressing the issue that Sparkle was GONE, Darry is still out and almost killed Sparkle and Blaze, and Crusher still has a damn target on his back! Honestly, out of all of them, Rose seems to be the only one acting normal around here. Stripes is a close one too. Honestly, Crusher didn't even do anything extraordinary! He just showed up and now a bunch of guys are head over heels for him! What is he? A siren?

Oh my gawd, there is so much to discuss .

Now, let's talk about the characters that aren't Crusher and Dary. Let's start with the one I hate the most. Blaze. There's not much to say anymore since I basically highlighted most of his faults above. But there is one that I forgot to mention: He's a plot device. He is not a character. He is a plot device. Well, as much as this chapter is showing me. Think about it: He comes in when Crusher Is in trouble, he fights Darry in order to save Sparkle, he gives Sparkle a reason to hate and be a villain, he transports Crusher from one place to another, and he helps get Darry out of Crusher's mind (no matter how disgusting his method was). Literally, Blaze has no personality other than the fact that he says "fuck" a lot. That seems to be a common trend in this story actually. "Fuck" is a very common word.

Sparkle is annoying. Dreadful at worst, pitiful at best. Her relationship with Treaty is confusing and there would be times where the narratives want to pity her but it falls flat with the next dialogue. Her character lacks a lot of explanation, and she could benefit from more descriptive narrative. Not to mention she kind of DIES and then her situation just gets brushed off because apparently, Crusher is more important.

Rose and Stripes are the least most problematic people in this chapter. I still find it weird for them offering help this stranger they just met but at least they have other personal ties to Crusher other than the fact that they bumped into him once. Crusher is their employee/co-worker. And I liked Stripes's approach to Crusher's situation. He had no words to say anything about Crusher's situation, so he stayed silent instead. He understands that this situation isn't just something to be brushed off under the rug or downplayed which I loved. I didn't like how Rose assured Crusher and her crush on Sparkle was unexpected, but honestly, I'll let that one slide. Rose has been one of the most tolerable characters so far along with Stripes. It makes me root for her.

Okay, next, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room. Or rather, wolf. And raccoon, I guess…

Dume should die. Like, plain and simple. Without him, Darry couldn't even do half of what was accomplished in this chapter. Also, Dume has no other personality other than be a big wolf and a big-ass plot device that carries plot holes as well. I don't like Dume. And the same could be said for Litter Critter. Although he just appeared briefly. But at least Litter Critter had some sort of personality… Sort of…

Why am I not talking about Ezra? Because, well, there's not much to talk about. Other than the fact that he was so damn oblivious to the fact that his brother is trying to kill his other brother. I'll wait for the next chapter if I like him or not.

Live Reactions

"Just until I get tired," Sparkle replied as she put on her cape and gliders. [ I like to say this is a nice casual way to reveal or imply that Sparkle is Speedy Arsonist. However, I wish that the boy with golden eyes and the boy with glasses would be more described because I really don't know what they look like. Maybe instead of spoilers, the author could put images in the notes instead, explaining what they look like if they refuse to explain it in their story. A character's physical description is important in a story because that's what the readers will be imagining. It's the rule of descriptive imagery in writing. Again, this leads me to believe the author was young when they made this.] [ Adding to this, Sparkle's reasoning kind of sucks. Sparkle could have definitely said this, but there should be more writing about what's in her train of thought. The author shouldn't have stopped at that alone. Maybe it would be nice if Sparkle's reasoning could be more thoroughly explained as the story progresses, yes? Yes.]

The wolf came and grabbed her by the arm, his jaws biting through as it grabbed her and forced her up. "GAH!" she yelped. Her arm was laced with bombs, so as soon as the wolf's teet touched Speedy, bombs exploded in its mouth. [These two paragraphs could be written in one action paragraph instead of two. Like, while the world is biting Sparkle's arm, the bombs would already be exploding by then.] [But like… The logic of these paragraphs. Sparkle should lose an arm or something.]

The wolf growled and teleported right where she was going to skate, it's snout healing once more. [ This wolf is nothing but plot convenience wolfified]

The explosives on that arm went off again, but it didn't do any damage on the wolf anymore, being immune because of the first one before dragging her again. [ This technique only works on drugs or poisons. If it's damaged, it's DAMAGED. If the wolf just gets immunity every time it's hurt, then it's going to be invincible. It's basically unkillable. This would be a problem in the future, honestly. But if it isn't going to be a problem and it actually has weaknesses, then it would be nice to have it shown or something. ]

"I know everyone," Treaty stated. "And this one," she pointed at the unmasked-Speedy, "is off-limits, no matter how fun. Now, please, release her. You don't know what will happen after." [ I feel like Treaty's involvement in this is supposed to be important, but the context in the narrative is lacking. Like, why the heck is Treaty doing this? Why is she helping/protecting Sparkle? Because she's off limits? I realized that this story lacked a lot of omniscence that leaves the viewers confused. It relies too heavily on dialogue and it doesn't help the viewers by peaking into the character's thoughts and stuff.]

Treaty glared at him. She hissed, "when I said I would be your ally, this was not what I meant. We need this kid so we villains she could represent. If she's dead, then Blaze would still live. I wouldn't give a damn about her if she wasn't of importance. We need her to win for once." [ Again, this is just confusing. This argument is just illogical and it just seems like Treaty is desperate to get Sparkle out of this situation. If that were the case, then a train of thought would help her character in this case.]

"… You won't kill her right?" [Again, i feel like there should be something deeper here, but the narrative, once again, failed.]

Oh, no, I only want to kill that pesky golden child," Darry grinned. "If I have to hurt his friends, I will, but I wouldn't kill over a failed mission, that would be too petty of me," [ A longer paragraph of a background story or even a snippet would be nice at this moment. And honestly, if Darry really isn't petty, then he wouldn't even try to kill Crusher. Killing someone for being the golden child is petty.]

Sparkle rubbed her wrists in delight and began to walk around, bored, but can't really do anything. So, she does what a reckless teenager usually does; mess around until she found something interesting. She ran around, used the rats as toys, messed around with Darry's stuff; the usual. [ For someone hurt and captive, she seems to be taking this well. Are we just going to gloss over the fact that both of her arms are heavily injured by wolf bites? Okay.]

Sparkled chuckled as she played dress-up with Darry's clothes. "Aren't they going to pissed that you're trying to kill your own brother?" she asked. [ I don't understand how a teenager could be so nonchalant about this unless she has absolutely no moral compass, like, you're free. You're seriously not going to do anything and just play around like Darry's your friend? Darry KIDNAPPED you, had his wolf INJURE you, and then THREATENED to kill Treaty. And how the heck is Darry able to hide this from his other brothers? I know that they're not in the same town, but there should be news right? Or does that just not exist in this universe?]

Harsh. But okay. Just don't bring their siblings into this. I like'm," [HOW THE HELL ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS? THIS KID NEEDS HELP.]

"Bruh. Bruh. Bruh." Along with another message was sent a video from how Darry attacked Crusher publicly in the park and how Taskavt was first known. "C'mon. He's fucking blackmailing my friend. Send help rn." [Who the heck is this? Is this Sparkle? No way this could be Sparkle. She's TRAPPED.]

He then sent pictures of Dior, those he was able to take and steal from the media, changing a bit, so he looked more like him. [That's smart. Actually.]

"Hey, Darry. Darry. Darry," she poked. "I'm hungry." [Sparkle is a bit annoying, actually…]

"Hey, Sparks!" Blaze smiled. "Had a fun day?" [You did not notice that your sister was missing for the WHOLE DAY? Wow, what kind of a brother are you. What the hell man.]

Her head swerved to see Blaze with the frustrated glow in his eyes but a knowing smirk. "I thought I taught you better than that." [A knowing smirk? Bro, how are you so calm about this? Your sister was about to kill your guest and all you can say "I thought I waught you better than that"? Um, HELLO? Your SISTER is about to be a MURDERER?]

"Sparkle, you're grounded," [She tried to murder your guest and THAT'S how you RESPOND? ARE YOU KIDDING- I'm calm. I'm calm. This Blaze is called a faker for a reason. Because no way the actual Blaze would let his sister aspire to be a murderer.]

Dume appeared [ I really do not like this wolf. He's nothing but a plot device or something that the antagonist needs to get the plot going. If anything, why not let the WOLF kill Crusher? Because, dude, no way the wolf can not kill Crusher if Darryr really wanted him killed.]

Aaaand, I'm confiscating your Speedy Arsonist armor. [ WHEN DID YOU KNOW? HOW DID YOU KNOW? DID YOU JUST LET HER TERRORIZE THE CITY FOR FUN? YOU FAKER. YOU ARE SUCH A BAD BROTHER. No sane person would actually encourage THIS level of teenage angst. This is just a stupid pothole that ruined the whole point of Speedy Arsonist]

Blaze opened his window and then took Crusher and fly them both out of the apartment and into the night [Bruh. That just completely rendered the last line useless.]

Treaty said. [I still don't understand Treaty's purpose in all of this. If you pull her out of this chapter and the next one, then you'll still end up with the same story, just less dialogue.]

Mom's worse. I'm practically dead inside, [That is not an excuse. Maybe. But I think it would have been a better excuse if, again, they used flashbacks. Flashbacks are a literary device that could help tell the story. This story lacks so much literary devices that it would confuse the audience when they tell the story.]

"Probably me," [How bad of a brother is Faker?]

"Yeah, you had a tough life, but isn't this too morbid?" [I agree with Treaty]]

"I've encouraged my little sister to kill our baby brother too anyway. [THOSE ARE NOT LESSONS YOU SHOULD BE PASSING. I should just… Stop reacting to every interaction Darry has because it's going to waste all of my time here. He is so nonsensical. His motives are petty. He has a plot armor dog. He's a bad big brother. And I don't like him. I also don't like Sparkle. I'm going to waste my time if I keep reacting to every little interaction these two idiotic villains will have.]

This is why you shouldn't team up with villains. [It's your fault she's like this.]

by her magic trail. [Explanation? No? None? Okay.]

Her body seemed to dissipate in the air before she goes anymore near Dume and Blaze was left gaping. [DID SHE DIE?]

Her physical form dissipated…" [Again, no explanation?? I fr thought she died! Like, what do you mean DISSIPATE IN THE AIR?]

The bond… he… [What BOND?]

"I'm sorry… this… this is my fault… he… he was after me, and now you guys are getting involved… I… I'm sorry…" [He's right. This is absolutely his fault.]

"She just destablized her physical form… [You are DOWNPLAYING this. Because with no explanation, how could the audience know how SEVERE this is?!]

Blaze groaned. "What did I ever do to her?" he lamented. [From what I've read so far, you neglected the heck out of her. You didn't even bother looking for her when she was missing for how many days. And you actually let her be a villain of the city, destroy public property just because you were too lazy to teach her the right way. As an older sibling myself, I have the right to say you failed. You utterfly failed as an older sibling and the fact that you don't even know how you failed even though Sparkle made it EXTREMELY clear how you did by being constantly RESENTFUL to you TO YOUR FACE. This isn't some silly sibling rivalry, this is outright hate. Blaze is a toxic faker, and if this story redeems him without addressing this issue or the other issues, then I would conclude that this story sucks. I would like to see my opinion changed.]

"But siblings be siblings. They have their reasons… even if we don't know the reasons," [ You are no better than Blaze. Both of you are bad older siblings.]

"Can you and I have a date? [Your SISTER got kidnapped and you asked for A DATE? Even the NARRATIVE agrees that this is lunacy! THIS IS STUPID. I HATE BLAZE.]

Through the mindscape, [I still have no idea what the mindscape is.]

Crusher, can I touch you?" [ WHAT? NO. EW. STOP. THIS IS SEXUAL ASSAULT. DISGUSTING.] [ WHATEVER BLAZE SAID NEXT IS NOTHING BUT DEGENERACY AND HORNINESS. UUUUUUUUUUFHIUFHFLFMLKDMKCFJNEJNS]

"Some of Crusher's 'friends' killed Crusher and used an imposter to fool me!" Darry faked a sob. [No way they just fell for that… No damn way… Oh my GAWD-]

"Get rid of the fake! As karma for what it did to our brother!" Ezra snarled. [Okay, I have to admit. Although the plan was executed poorly narrative-wise, it was a good plan. Sort of…]

"I need to speak with him about Taskavt." [I agree with Rose. I also wouldn't speak with someone who just randomly came in to ask about one of my coworkers about a supervillain who is after said coworker.]

"You're my friend," Stripes smiled. "You can sit for a few hours if you like." [So, you're basically giving him money for nothing in return. WOW. I wish I had a friend like that.]

YOU'RE SUCH A PERFECT GOLDEN CHILD [Is… Is that it? Is that the whole reason? Darry, you are so damn PETTY.]

he loved his friends dearly… [You met them for a few weeks, as much as the story is going forth with. Maybe it's the trauma bond the reason why you love them so much.]

You should look on the bright side for a bright outcome, right? [So far, Rose and Stripes are my favorite people on this chapter so far, but Rose, dude, you gotta understand that having your family grieve you isn't a good thing to just brush off.]

Stripes couldn't really say much with Crusher's situation, so the most he could do is physical comfort. [ Stripes is the only sensible person in this whole chapter so far.]

[thebatmmanalyzer]

This was the book my friend recommended first.

Cheesecake and Stars by Anonymous

Here is my commentary on the fourth chapter:

My stars, this chapter outraged me.

Main characters mentioned here are Darry, Crusher, Sparkle, BLAZE, and Rose and Stripes.

Chapter 4

I would like to voice my dislike of the notes once again. It's just plain spoilers. But again, this story was written when the author was young (at least that's my impression. Who knows if the author just badly writes stories like this). Some of my live reactions would be criticism of the writing and ways of improvement.

With that aside, I would like to express my sincerest annoyance for this story with a song called dumb dumb by mazie

Darry was really highlighted as the villain of this chapter, but it's only the fourth chapter and everything he is doing is already moving too fast and everyone reacting to him and his plans are all incredibly annoying and dumb, with Blaze and Sparkle taking a highlight to the most annoying people of this chapter. I wanted to react to more when it comes to Blaze's and Sparkle's dialogues, but if I did, I would never be able to write this review.

First, I would like to discuss Darry's motivations. One word: Petty. Darry's jealousy of Crusher being a golden child is nothing but pettiness. Okay, maybe it isn't ALL too petty. But the way the narrative displays it makes it seem that it's nothing but pettiness, jealousy, and resentment that Darry became Taskavt so he could kill Crusher. Honestly, if anything, Darry should be going after his parents for favoring Crusher. And the last bit about Darry telling his brother that Crusher is dead and an imposter replaced him… Honestly, I thought it was dumb because in no way would anyone fall for that. Right? But, well, I guess I was wrong. And honestly, as it's unfolding, I am getting on board with this manipulation tactic. It's not a smart tactic, but the narrative makes it look smart so that Darry could appear cunning, devious, and manipulative. The narrative tries so hard to make Darry intimidating that it ends up making him look petty. And all this just to kill Crusher. As far as the story is concerned, there isn't even anything for Darry to kill Crusher for! He never had a backstory, he never had a proper explanation! What happened to the "Show, don't tell" principle? Gone! Completely gone!

And talking about Crusher, he must be an anomaly or something because everyone around him just starts acting weird . Blaze was so willing to choose this guy he met for a few weeks over his sister to the point where she had to kill herself to save herself from being eaten by a giant dog. And then after that, Blaze still brushes off his issues with Sparkle in favor of comforting Crusher. Kurasha just met with his friends after a dangerous situation and then the three of them went to a movie instead of addressing the issue that Sparkle was GONE, Darry is still out and almost killed Sparkle and Blaze, and Crusher still has a damn target on his back! Honestly, out of all of them, Rose seems to be the only one acting normal around here. Stripes is a close one too. Honestly, Crusher didn't even do anything extraordinary! He just showed up and now a bunch of guys are head over heels for him! What is he? A siren?

Oh my gawd, there is so much to discuss .

Now, let's talk about the characters that aren't Crusher and Dary. Let's start with the one I hate the most. Blaze. There's not much to say anymore since I basically highlighted most of his faults above. But there is one that I forgot to mention: He's a plot device. He is not a character. He is a plot device. Well, as much as this chapter is showing me. Think about it: He comes in when Crusher Is in trouble, he fights Darry in order to save Sparkle, he gives Sparkle a reason to hate and be a villain, he transports Crusher from one place to another, and he helps get Darry out of Crusher's mind (no matter how disgusting his method was). Literally, Blaze has no personality other than the fact that he says "fuck" a lot. That seems to be a common trend in this story actually. "Fuck" is a very common word.

Sparkle is annoying. Dreadful at worst, pitiful at best. Her relationship with Treaty is confusing and there would be times where the narratives want to pity her but it falls flat with the next dialogue. Her character lacks a lot of explanation, and she could benefit from more descriptive narrative. Not to mention she kind of DIES and then her situation just gets brushed off because apparently, Crusher is more important.

Rose and Stripes are the least most problematic people in this chapter. I still find it weird for them offering help this stranger they just met but at least they have other personal ties to Crusher other than the fact that they bumped into him once. Crusher is their employee/co-worker. And I liked Stripes's approach to Crusher's situation. He had no words to say anything about Crusher's situation, so he stayed silent instead. He understands that this situation isn't just something to be brushed off under the rug or downplayed which I loved. I didn't like how Rose assured Crusher and her crush on Sparkle was unexpected, but honestly, I'll let that one slide. Rose has been one of the most tolerable characters so far along with Stripes. It makes me root for her.

Okay, next, we gotta talk about the elephant in the room. Or rather, wolf. And raccoon, I guess…

Dume should die. Like, plain and simple. Without him, Darry couldn't even do half of what was accomplished in this chapter. Also, Dume has no other personality other than be a big wolf and a big-ass plot device that carries plot holes as well. I don't like Dume. And the same could be said for Litter Critter. Although he just appeared briefly. But at least Litter Critter had some sort of personality… Sort of…

Why am I not talking about Ezra? Because, well, there's not much to talk about. Other than the fact that he was so damn oblivious to the fact that his brother is trying to kill his other brother. I'll wait for the next chapter if I like him or not.

Live Reactions

"Just until I get tired," Sparkle replied as she put on her cape and gliders. [ I like to say this is a nice casual way to reveal or imply that Sparkle is Speedy Arsonist. However, I wish that the boy with golden eyes and the boy with glasses would be more described because I really don't know what they look like. Maybe instead of spoilers, the author could put images in the notes instead, explaining what they look like if they refuse to explain it in their story. A character's physical description is important in a story because that's what the readers will be imagining. It's the rule of descriptive imagery in writing. Again, this leads me to believe the author was young when they made this.] [ Adding to this, Sparkle's reasoning kind of sucks. Sparkle could have definitely said this, but there should be more writing about what's in her train of thought. The author shouldn't have stopped at that alone. Maybe it would be nice if Sparkle's reasoning could be more thoroughly explained as the story progresses, yes? Yes.]

The wolf came and grabbed her by the arm, his jaws biting through as it grabbed her and forced her up. "GAH!" she yelped. Her arm was laced with bombs, so as soon as the wolf's teet touched Speedy, bombs exploded in its mouth. [These two paragraphs could be written in one action paragraph instead of two. Like, while the world is biting Sparkle's arm, the bombs would already be exploding by then.] [But like… The logic of these paragraphs. Sparkle should lose an arm or something.]

The wolf growled and teleported right where she was going to skate, it's snout healing once more. [ This wolf is nothing but plot convenience wolfified]

The explosives on that arm went off again, but it didn't do any damage on the wolf anymore, being immune because of the first one before dragging her again. [ This technique only works on drugs or poisons. If it's damaged, it's DAMAGED. If the wolf just gets immunity every time it's hurt, then it's going to be invincible. It's basically unkillable. This would be a problem in the future, honestly. But if it isn't going to be a problem and it actually has weaknesses, then it would be nice to have it shown or something. ]

"I know everyone," Treaty stated. "And this one," she pointed at the unmasked-Speedy, "is off-limits, no matter how fun. Now, please, release her. You don't know what will happen after." [ I feel like Treaty's involvement in this is supposed to be important, but the context in the narrative is lacking. Like, why the heck is Treaty doing this? Why is she helping/protecting Sparkle? Because she's off limits? I realized that this story lacked a lot of omniscence that leaves the viewers confused. It relies too heavily on dialogue and it doesn't help the viewers by peaking into the character's thoughts and stuff.]

Treaty glared at him. She hissed, "when I said I would be your ally, this was not what I meant. We need this kid so we villains she could represent. If she's dead, then Blaze would still live. I wouldn't give a damn about her if she wasn't of importance. We need her to win for once." [ Again, this is just confusing. This argument is just illogical and it just seems like Treaty is desperate to get Sparkle out of this situation. If that were the case, then a train of thought would help her character in this case.]

"… You won't kill her right?" [Again, i feel like there should be something deeper here, but the narrative, once again, failed.]

Oh, no, I only want to kill that pesky golden child," Darry grinned. "If I have to hurt his friends, I will, but I wouldn't kill over a failed mission, that would be too petty of me," [ A longer paragraph of a background story or even a snippet would be nice at this moment. And honestly, if Darry really isn't petty, then he wouldn't even try to kill Crusher. Killing someone for being the golden child is petty.]

Sparkle rubbed her wrists in delight and began to walk around, bored, but can't really do anything. So, she does what a reckless teenager usually does; mess around until she found something interesting. She ran around, used the rats as toys, messed around with Darry's stuff; the usual. [ For someone hurt and captive, she seems to be taking this well. Are we just going to gloss over the fact that both of her arms are heavily injured by wolf bites? Okay.]

Sparkled chuckled as she played dress-up with Darry's clothes. "Aren't they going to pissed that you're trying to kill your own brother?" she asked. [ I don't understand how a teenager could be so nonchalant about this unless she has absolutely no moral compass, like, you're free. You're seriously not going to do anything and just play around like Darry's your friend? Darry KIDNAPPED you, had his wolf INJURE you, and then THREATENED to kill Treaty. And how the heck is Darry able to hide this from his other brothers? I know that they're not in the same town, but there should be news right? Or does that just not exist in this universe?]

Harsh. But okay. Just don't bring their siblings into this. I like'm," [HOW THE HELL ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS? THIS KID NEEDS HELP.]

"Bruh. Bruh. Bruh." Along with another message was sent a video from how Darry attacked Crusher publicly in the park and how Taskavt was first known. "C'mon. He's fucking blackmailing my friend. Send help rn." [Who the heck is this? Is this Sparkle? No way this could be Sparkle. She's TRAPPED.]

He then sent pictures of Dior, those he was able to take and steal from the media, changing a bit, so he looked more like him. [That's smart. Actually.]

"Hey, Darry. Darry. Darry," she poked. "I'm hungry." [Sparkle is a bit annoying, actually…]

"Hey, Sparks!" Blaze smiled. "Had a fun day?" [You did not notice that your sister was missing for the WHOLE DAY? Wow, what kind of a brother are you. What the hell man.]

Her head swerved to see Blaze with the frustrated glow in his eyes but a knowing smirk. "I thought I taught you better than that." [A knowing smirk? Bro, how are you so calm about this? Your sister was about to kill your guest and all you can say "I thought I waught you better than that"? Um, HELLO? Your SISTER is about to be a MURDERER?]

"Sparkle, you're grounded," [She tried to murder your guest and THAT'S how you RESPOND? ARE YOU KIDDING- I'm calm. I'm calm. This Blaze is called a faker for a reason. Because no way the actual Blaze would let his sister aspire to be a murderer.]

Dume appeared [ I really do not like this wolf. He's nothing but a plot device or something that the antagonist needs to get the plot going. If anything, why not let the WOLF kill Crusher? Because, dude, no way the wolf can not kill Crusher if Darryr really wanted him killed.]

Aaaand, I'm confiscating your Speedy Arsonist armor. [ WHEN DID YOU KNOW? HOW DID YOU KNOW? DID YOU JUST LET HER TERRORIZE THE CITY FOR FUN? YOU FAKER. YOU ARE SUCH A BAD BROTHER. No sane person would actually encourage THIS level of teenage angst. This is just a stupid pothole that ruined the whole point of Speedy Arsonist]

Blaze opened his window and then took Crusher and fly them both out of the apartment and into the night [Bruh. That just completely rendered the last line useless.]

Treaty said. [I still don't understand Treaty's purpose in all of this. If you pull her out of this chapter and the next one, then you'll still end up with the same story, just less dialogue.]

Mom's worse. I'm practically dead inside, [That is not an excuse. Maybe. But I think it would have been a better excuse if, again, they used flashbacks. Flashbacks are a literary device that could help tell the story. This story lacks so much literary devices that it would confuse the audience when they tell the story.]

"Probably me," [How bad of a brother is Faker?]

"Yeah, you had a tough life, but isn't this too morbid?" [I agree with Treaty]]

"I've encouraged my little sister to kill our baby brother too anyway. [THOSE ARE NOT LESSONS YOU SHOULD BE PASSING. I should just… Stop reacting to every interaction Darry has because it's going to waste all of my time here. He is so nonsensical. His motives are petty. He has a plot armor dog. He's a bad big brother. And I don't like him. I also don't like Sparkle. I'm going to waste my time if I keep reacting to every little interaction these two idiotic villains will have.]

This is why you shouldn't team up with villains. [It's your fault she's like this.]

by her magic trail. [Explanation? No? None? Okay.]

Her body seemed to dissipate in the air before she goes anymore near Dume and Blaze was left gaping. [DID SHE DIE?]

Her physical form dissipated…" [Again, no explanation?? I fr thought she died! Like, what do you mean DISSIPATE IN THE AIR?]

The bond… he… [What BOND?]

"I'm sorry… this… this is my fault… he… he was after me, and now you guys are getting involved… I… I'm sorry…" [He's right. This is absolutely his fault.]

"She just destablized her physical form… [You are DOWNPLAYING this. Because with no explanation, how could the audience know how SEVERE this is?!]

Blaze groaned. "What did I ever do to her?" he lamented. [From what I've read so far, you neglected the heck out of her. You didn't even bother looking for her when she was missing for how many days. And you actually let her be a villain of the city, destroy public property just because you were too lazy to teach her the right way. As an older sibling myself, I have the right to say you failed. You utterfly failed as an older sibling and the fact that you don't even know how you failed even though Sparkle made it EXTREMELY clear how you did by being constantly RESENTFUL to you TO YOUR FACE. This isn't some silly sibling rivalry, this is outright hate. Blaze is a toxic faker, and if this story redeems him without addressing this issue or the other issues, then I would conclude that this story sucks. I would like to see my opinion changed.]

"But siblings be siblings. They have their reasons… even if we don't know the reasons," [ You are no better than Blaze. Both of you are bad older siblings.]

"Can you and I have a date? [Your SISTER got kidnapped and you asked for A DATE? Even the NARRATIVE agrees that this is lunacy! THIS IS STUPID. I HATE BLAZE.]

Through the mindscape, [I still have no idea what the mindscape is.]

Crusher, can I touch you?" [ WHAT? NO. EW. STOP. THIS IS SEXUAL ASSAULT. DISGUSTING.] [ WHATEVER BLAZE SAID NEXT IS NOTHING BUT DEGENERACY AND HORNINESS. UUUUUUUUUUFHIUFHFLFMLKDMKCFJNEJNS]

"Some of Crusher's 'friends' killed Crusher and used an imposter to fool me!" Darry faked a sob. [No way they just fell for that… No damn way… Oh my GAWD-]

"Get rid of the fake! As karma for what it did to our brother!" Ezra snarled. [Okay, I have to admit. Although the plan was executed poorly narrative-wise, it was a good plan. Sort of…]

"I need to speak with him about Taskavt." [I agree with Rose. I also wouldn't speak with someone who just randomly came in to ask about one of my coworkers about a supervillain who is after said coworker.]

"You're my friend," Stripes smiled. "You can sit for a few hours if you like." [So, you're basically giving him money for nothing in return. WOW. I wish I had a friend like that.]

YOU'RE SUCH A PERFECT GOLDEN CHILD [Is… Is that it? Is that the whole reason? Darry, you are so damn PETTY.]

he loved his friends dearly… [You met them for a few weeks, as much as the story is going forth with. Maybe it's the trauma bond the reason why you love them so much.]

You should look on the bright side for a bright outcome, right? [So far, Rose and Stripes are my favorite people on this chapter so far, but Rose, dude, you gotta understand that having your family grieve you isn't a good thing to just brush off.]

Stripes couldn't really say much with Crusher's situation, so the most he could do is physical comfort. [ Stripes is the only sensible person in this whole chapter so far.]

[thebatmmanalyzer]

This was the book my friend recommended first.

Cheesecake and Stars by Anonymous

Here is my commentary on the third chapter:

Now, THIS is where I do more analysis.

CHAPTER 3

I do not like the warnings. It's just straight up spoilers at this point. Either the author was a young kid when they published this or they were not taught subtlety. Probably a young kid because I also made this mistake when I was around 12 years old.

So, now, we are introduced to Taskavt who is the villain of this story. At least I think he is. It's no secret that he's Darry as the narative really didn't bother to hide it from the viewers. It would have been great if the villain was kept a secret until there was a dramatic blowout, but I guess the writer had a plan (unless they were writing this on the go without a solid plan). What I couldn't understand is the fact that Crusher not telling others who Taskavt is. It's only the logical next step.

Now, what I would like to analyze is Darry's motive. Because, from what we've been told from the narrative and dialouge, Darry is doing this in order to kill Crusher. And from what the narrative has implied, he is doing this out of jealousy. Maybe because Crusher is prettier than him? And that Crusher's parents worry over him? Because so far, those are the only context clues we got from the narrative in three chapters. It would have been nice if the author wrote scenes like flashbacks where Crusher had been obviously favored by Darry, or there was an incident that Darry couldn't let go that he deemed Crusher's fault. Maybe a near-death experience or a loss of a loved one that he totally blamed Crusher for. Because, if you ask me, Darry's reasoning for wanting to kill Crusher is rather shallow. And the wolf that is Darry's assistant? I feel like they're rather unncessarry but I guess that's because they haven't impacted me as much. Maybe the wolf is a plot device that I have yet to understand.

Another thing I would like to address: Blaze. When Crusher is shown to sleep over at Blaze, there is a constant implication that Blaze is going to assault him. If that was the case, the friends should have never agreed or let Blaze do what he wanted. But they did, and they did NOT do anything to help or save Crusher from a potential assault! Removing someone from a dangerous situation must be a PRIORITY to most people. From the little battle scene that they had, it was clear that Blaze was not the only one with powers nor were Blaze's friends helpless. So, letting Crusher be under someone who they know is dangerous or uncontrollable is quite negligent of them. Also, why the heck is Blaze so dangerous? Because he fights? Because he has rough sex with his friends? I don't get it. Blaze has not shown how dangerous he is. He has not harmed anyone except the villains. But honestly, I could see their worry. STALKING CRUSHER is NOT a normal thing. STALKING will never be normal, no matter the reason. Let's not normalize that please and thank you. And honestly, one of the main reasons he keeps doing what he pleases is because of his friends' inability to correct him or hold him accountable. Actually, some even enable it. I say this friend group is toxic, no cap.

Another comment: The group does NOT know Crusher that well yet. Crusher is a new person to the city and to their group. Just because this man has met the others a few times doesn't mean they could immediately invite Crusher over to their homes. What if he's a thief? What if he's a dangerous person? We know, as the audience, that he isn't, but the group doesn't know that. They have been friends for over, how many weeks? Days? The point is, that Crusher is not as close to them as they think he is. They all just collectively want him because what? He's attractive? That's a stupid reason to invite him over. If they really wanted to protect him, they could have made other alternatives like letting Crusher stay in a hotel or asking the police for help. Or maybe Blaze could like, stay guard around the area of Crusher's residence (I still think stalking him is a red flag, but I think it would be in character for Blaze to try this tactic to stalk Crusher some more.)

"Hello~" Blaze greeted before he swung Darry with his cape a few times before throwing him in another building. [ I ship it. I am a sucker for Enemies to Lovers. I'm not looking at the tags again to see if this will be confirmed or not. ]

"Call me… Taskavt." [ Sounds European.]

"Vah, ch'ah, can your sicnr. Vah rsah vei g'evipah." [No translation? Hm, okay.]

"Trouble," [ How do you guys have a sixth sense for these things? I'm serious, Crusher is a MARTY STU.]

They followed after Crusher, who ran back to his apartment. [Excuse me, but can we not normalize stalking? Thank you.]

"Your brother is Taskavt?" Sparkle chuckled. "Hm. This world is honestly screwed up." [Is this a plot point?]

"Blaze didnt touch u right? pleading_face" [These are red flags. The fact that he stalked you before and now Pickle is asking if he touched you and the fact that he's also very comfortable in showing sexuality in front of his friends too much is a red flag. This man's color is not just red. He IS red. He is a walking red flag and I suggest that Crusher runs.]

Not helping when an overjealous, psycho brother was out his head, so- yeah. [It would be nice to have this aspect explored more. Because all we've gotten were implications that Darry was jealous because of Crusher being a golden child? It would be great to see flashbacks possibly that show instances where Darry had been neglected and Crusher had been favored. But maybe these would be addressed in the upcoming chapters. We're still pretty early in the book, but I feel like a lot of things are being established too slowly. Maybe it's just me.]

He didn't hurt you, right?" [ It's concerning how many people keep saying this.]

[thebatmmanalyzer]

very bad news but Blaze does infact get worse 😞

I feel validated in calling him a fake. The Real Blaze would never be this bad.

[thebatmmanalyzer]

This was the book my friend recommended first.

Cheesecake and Stars by Anonymous

Here is my commentary on the second chapter:

Notes for Cheesecake and Stars

Chapter 2:

We start off strong with serious warnings. My golly, I know this series had a Rape/Non-con tag, but for a story that is 30+ chapters long, I thought they would have this after everything would be set in the story. Simping, crushes, and obliviousness are not actual warnings, btw. They're just spoilers to try and make a chapter look more delectable rather than distasteful after you've put aggressive sex in the notes. But at least the author is doing right in warning the audience what is in the chapter rather than let us be blind sided.

This chapter explored the group's whole dynamic to each other and also introduced a new character, Darry Vanto. I think the group dynamic was lightly limited as I wished they interacted more with each other rather than focus solely on Crusher. I'm starting to think he's a Mary Sue here. A Marty Stu? Yeah, probably. The characters' infatuation with Crusher is affecting their decision-making skills and their dynamic with each other. It would be nice to have a chapter without Crusher to fully explore the group dynamic of these people before Crusher came to Axle City. There's still a lot of chapters, so, it's not impossible.

Fortunately, there was no hardcore smut. Just implied.

Live comments:

When he did, he let the Force guide him through towards the animals to deem him friendly. He managed to win their trust. [ I would actually like a more descriptive explanation for this as someone who's never watched or consumed anything Star Wars. This is the same Crusher from the truck show, right? Well, anyway, it's more of a technicality than anything.]

"Stunt Kitty. Simple," Darington chuckled. [ OH, STUNT KITTY!!!!!]

Oh. You were in my shows," Darington hummed. "Right. That's where I saw you." [How does one remember a face within a crowd of people? Is Crusher really that remarkable? Actually, going back, his description never really got described to the audience. But from the first chapter, I think he's supposed to be Asian of some sort? Although I doubt it since I don't think Asian culture is known to be accepting of same-sex couples adopting. ]

this is Darington Dior." [ THE BRAND?]

"Hola!" Nicolas greeted cheerily. "Are you going to play with us?" [I'm concerned because Pickle really doesn't know Crusher. He's just exposing children to a stranger. I know Crusher is not someone that we should be wary of, but for the sake of common sense, I don't think people introduce kids to strangers they don't know well. Is this the power of being attractive?]

Pickle looked up to Crusher and when their eyes met, Pickle's face erupted into a rose glow as Crusher's arms surround him and held him steadily. [Talk about falling in love.]

Crusher didn't understand what he meant and scratched his head. "Uh… okay…" [If it were me, I would be weirded out.]

Treat Thief [Is she the one who made things explode the other chapter?]

"Seriously, kidnapping random guys off the streets ain't fun, you know," Blaze huffed as his arm formed into a blade. [First off, cool way to use Blaze's shape-shifting abilities in canon. Second, I think Blaze doesn't get a say in that when he literally asked Crusher out after he met him, like, twice. Does he even know his name?]

"I'm a thief, that's what I do! Besides, I really like to screw with you," [Okay, this was funny.]

"That's why he should be in my team," Growled Darington as he pulled Crusher away from Blaze, and the two had a glaring competition with each other. [ Before this story, I saw a lot of fanart with Darington and Blaze, so seeing them fight in this story is quite amusing.]

Kurasha turned to Crusher and said, "don't worry. This is normal." [Excuse me, WHY? Is this whole group like a friends-with-benefits thing? Wow , that is one crazy way to interpret the main cast of BATMM. Holy shoot, my golly. Out of all the possibilities, I did not expect this outcome, actually.]

"Looking for better job opportunities," Crusher replied. "It's very bias in Affluen-City. For males, you can only be businessmen or rich enough to not work," [So, we finally have the motive of the move!]

Crusher was both shocked and confused at the two. They are so strange… [Crusher is me. I mean, why the hell would you say that to a total stranger? I do not like this Darington anymore.]

Just uh… Delivering something," Blaze said as he put a bento box on Crusher's table. "Aaanyway, I'll just go now," Blaze said as he went to Crusher's open window and jumped out, transforming into a bird then flying away. [Excuse me, did he STALK Crusher to his house? To deliver food? I know this might be a dream to some but this is a complete NIGHTMARE. How is Crusher so damn calm in all of this? Having a guy stalk you and deliver you food and even SHOW YOU how he got in your house? Dude, Blaze is not a hero. He's a CRIMINAL.]

"Darry…" Crusher groaned. [Wait, is this another Darington? Is this the real one?]

"Please, if I was, I wouldn't be showing my fabulous self off," Darry Vanto huffed and got up. [Oh, I like the sass of this one.]

That fucking golden child. [I sense… Tension?]

[thebatmmanalyzer]

This was the book my friend recommended first.

Cheesecake and Stars by Anonymous

Here is my commentary on the first chapter:

Notes for Cheesecake and Stars

Chapter 1: We meet the protagonist, and from the first chapter, I could tell that he's looking for a job in a new city. Not much for motive or past, other than he came from a duller city than Axle City. The first chapter established the surrroundings of Crusher more than his character, which is a shame since the writer could absolutely do both. The whole book is just Crusher meeting his love interests and finding a job. Nothing too fancy, but it does disappoint in making the readers excited for the next chapter. If I was a regular reader, I would have probably skipped this book.

Live comments:

Axle City. A city of freedom, from what the gossipers in Affluen-City said. [ This is where we see the writer establish Axle City's reputation and what it is known for. For the sake of the book, I'll put a pin to this. ]

"S-Sorry, force of habit," Crusher nervously spoke. Well, he's interacting with someone from Earth that wasn't a teacher or a classmate or anyone he's forced to interact with, so he didn't really know what to say. [ So, Crusher is not from Earth. That's fine. His interaction with this new person is like when a Japanese person first steps into America. The cultural difference and all that.]

"Well, uh, it's okay," the person nodded. "Are you new here, sir? What's your name?" he asked. [I don't know why but I keep telling Crusher that this is stranger danger. Is he supposed to be the love interest?]

"I'm Pickle!" he replied. "And uh…" Pickle slightly blushed as he looked him up and down. "Can I ask for your number? I--It's okay if you don't want to. No pressure." [ AGAIN, STRANGER DANGER. ]

"And I better get there quick. I still need to find a job," He got his luggage and headed off [ So… You're telling me you uprooted your life and moved into a new city without a job already set? It seems more like you're an immigrant. ]

Pickle waved him goodbye, but he was a bit disappointed. He was hoping to ask him out. Sigh… Another time. [ What do you mean another time. I do not like Pickle in this one.]

Crusher soon made it to his apartment. It was a bit old and rust, but it had a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen with some tools, and a living room with a medium-sized TV, so it was fine with him. [ Sir, that's a condo.]

Watts nodded. "Alright! It'll be here in 10 minutes. Just hold tight, sir!" [ How fast does your chefs cook that steak? Or is the steak like… Super rare or something? Or did you just pop that steak in a toaster and called it a day? ]

Enough for about a week if he hasn't found a job yet. [ Sir, that is not enough. Why the hell did you move to a city you had no connection in. You have a condo. How do you not have a job? Usually, when people move, it would be because their place of emplyement placed them somewhere far or they see a job opportunity in another city. Like, they have a SET job opportunity. Going to a whole different city without a plan or a job is just stupid.]

As he waited, he caught a glimpse of the chef's window from where he was seated. Inside, he saw a green-haired man with dark skin wearing a chef's outfit. When the chef looked up, he met Crusher's eyes and he shyly waved at him. [ Oh wait. Is this the love interest?]

His eyes lit up at the deliciousness of the food. It tasted almost like his big brother's. Or even his male mother's. [ Excuse me. Male WHAT? So, Crusher has two dads. And he calls the other Male Mother. What gender roles are we pushing here… ]

Suddenly, there was an explosion and Crusher turned to see a tree being thrown at him. However, someone stopped it before it made contact with him. It was a tanned-skin man with blazing red hair and orange highlights that made it look like fire and piercing navy blue eyes. [ Uh… Is this one the love interest? Hold on, let me check the tags. ALL OF THEM ARE THE LOVE INTEREST?]

"Kurasha. Just call me Kurasha," the man smiled, trying to offer some sort of comfort. [ Japanese version of Crusher?]

Kurasha nodded. "Nice meeting you, Crusher. I'll see you around," Kurasha said, waving at Crusher then went off with his pockets in his hands. [ I like this man better than Pickle. I don't know guys. I just don't like Pickle. Let's see if that changes throughout the book.]

"And what would you like for today, sir?" Watts asked. [He should be saving his money. Not spending it. How much does he even have.]

A show held by Darington, Star of Axle City, it read. [ I wish the show had this as a canon name. It fits well.]

"Blaze," he replied. "You new in town?" he asked. [That is not Blaze.]

"Sure," Crusher nodded and wrote his number down before handing it over. Second time someone asked that, well, at least new friend, right? [ STOP HANDING PEOPLE OUT YOUR NUMBER. EVER HEARD OF "STRANGER DANGER"?]

He just met this guy, and now he's asking a date. [EXACTLY MY REACTION. THIS IS NOT BLAZE. THIS IS A FAKE ]

a grand entrance with a motorcycle. [ I get that stunt men are usually with motorcycles, but its sad that we wont get to see a car.]

"I told him to call me Stripes…" Stripes muttered as his ears flickered with amusement. [ So far, Stripes is my favorite. He has the most character in all of the people that Crusher has interacted. Probably because Crusher continuously interacted with Stripes for more than once. And Stripes understands not to ask him out on a date on their first meeting. Looking at you, Faker. Y'know what. I'm not even going to call Blaze "Blaze". I'm calling him Faker. Because that's what he is. A FAKE. At least I could see Pickle being whatever the hell he was back in the first few paragraphs, but Blaze??? No. Faker. FAKE.]

[thebatmmanalyzer]

Hi! I'm thebatmmanalyzer!

And I'm just here for fun.

My gist is I look at books that seem interestingly popular, and currently, I'm going to look at this series of books in First Era which was recommended to me by a friend.

I'll post my reviews by chapters which includes a summary of my thoughts on the book and live comments.

Thanks for stopping by.