theboredbori - Tumblr blog

[theboredbori]

ARMY DREAMERS

I am aware the "trend" has long ago passed, but I've only just gotten around to it. Do not tell me it doesn't fit.

Here is a version with all of them together.

I haven't done digital in a while, but I've enjoyed it a lot, surprisingly. Thought I had to relearn a lot.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the finished artwork as much as I do 🩷

[theboredbori]

most romantic lotr quotes btw. to me

[theboredbori]

The Lord of the Rings by Yaroslava Murashko

[theboredbori]

can they cook: fellowship edition

samwise: obviously. makes the best food ever. doesn’t even follow recipes anymore. can bake too. makes really great pies, both sweet and savory. makes the dough himself.

frodo: no. sam and bilbo mostly cooked for him. sam taught him how to cook potatoes. he messed even that up. he helps by doing dishes and cutting and washing food. he can bake well, though.

pippin: once put an egg on the oven for breakfast. it was in its shell, and exploded. don’t let him near the knives or stove top.

merry: makes pretty good edibles. has mastered brownies and cookies, once put weed in a tart. can make dry sandwiches, that’s about it.

legolas: lmao no. accidentally on a raw diet. he eats everything as is. if you’re luckily he will give it a quick rinse. doesn’t eat meat, probably for the best. one time sam saw him take a bite out of a raw onion like it was an apple and lost his mind.

gimli: yes! makes good roasts and hearty stews. has the best jerky, and puts way to much pepper in everything. uses ground oven for everything he can- he digs a hole, fills it with food, and lights a fire over it. says the dirt add flavor.

aragorn: it’s edible. mostly unseasoned. will use herbs for medicine instead. knows how to perfectly cook any meat, but can’t make a salad for the life of him.

boromir: grill dad. he only cooks over flame. carrots? grill. potatoes? grill. nuts? grill. he’s a big fan of just, throwing the food into the fire pit. to be fair, it tastes pretty good. only uses salt, pepper and paprika.

gandalf: no one has ever seen gandalf cooking. truth is, he can, in theory. hasn’t actually cooked in forever. the last thing he made was a birthday cake. it was no one’s birthday. he ate it by himself and didn’t share with anyone.

[theboredbori]

I don’t spend a ton of time thinking about Gimli and Legolas, but I saw some lovely Gigolas art earlier this week that got me into that line of thought and I must say that the extreme parallelism here really is very satisfying:

Gimli to Legolas (Two Towers, The White Rider):

“You are a Wood-elf, anyway, though elves of any kind are strange folk. Yet you comfort me. Where you go, I will go.”

Legolas to Gimli (Two Towers, Helm’s Deep):

“You are a dwarf, and dwarves are strange folk. I do not like this place, and I shall like it no more by the light of day. But you comfort me, Gimli, and I am glad to have you standing nigh.”

It’s also pretty charming that the formula for light flirting in Middle Earth appears to be, “Hey, you’re a real weirdo, but I feel better when you’re around.”

[theboredbori]

Enemies to lovers 🔥♥️🔥

[theboredbori]

i just had a thats so raven-esque vision of one time after the war when legolas and gimli are on Their Travels and they encounter none other than legolas’ old one-sided situationship tauriel. and he’s working his way through a catch-up session that’s family reunion level of awkward. he’s like “heyyyyy it’s been like a month (60 years) since i’ve seen you. how have you been since ummm. well. since that guy died. and my dad banished you.” and tauriel is like “well actually i’ve been great! just sort of living off the land. i visit rivendell sometimes that’s fun. i suppose besides The Grief i’m doing fine but i do miss the spiders sometimes. oh and no hard feelings about your dad banishing me by the way! i mean it was pretty fucked up but i don’t blame you for it.” and legolas is like “good, good………. yeah. the spiders.”

and then there’s a very long silence and tauriel is like “so………. care to introduce me to your friend?” and legolas (he’s absolutely 100% fucked and he knows it) is like “Um. Well. This is………. Gimli. Say Hi Gimli.” and gimli is like “hi i’m gimli. son of gloin and husband to legolas. pleasure to meet you my lady!” and legolas has to keep himself from exploding cartoonishly at the sheer >:3 face tauriel gives him before she’s like “wow husband? how novel for a dwarf and an elf to fall in love!” and it’s legolas’ worst day on middle earth and tauriel’s greatest. gimli and tauriel exchange phone numbers

[theboredbori]

[theboredbori]

side by side

[theboredbori]

Just an elf and a dwarf relaxing in the woods.

(i can't bring myself to post this on Instagram but I trust you Tumblr people to like this here.)

It's my first time posting original art here so be nice pls :')

[theboredbori]

[theboredbori]

THE LORD OF THE DINGS: RETURN OF THE PORN BOTS (2023) ↳ dir. @staff (like, please, someone make this stop)

[theboredbori]

Next installment of Lord of the Rings AU: It's Fine, Everybody's Fine is Aragorn's coronation, at which Boromir W E E P S:

I think in a circumstance where Boromir lives, or even just in interacting with Faramir in canon, Aragorn would be very aware of the optics of striding in out of the wilderness to take a throne that the line of stewards had been fighting and dying for in his absence (Thorongil cosplay aside). Cool thing is, in this AU, seeing the king's throne filled and experiencing Gondor at peace for the first time in living history is more than Boromir EVER hoped for.

The day the White Tree sapling blooms, Aragorn wakes up Faramir and Boromir like a six-year-old on Christmas:

And then there's that FIRST SUNRISE over the Mountains of Shadow, when day breaks over a defeated east that's clean and clear and Boromir WEEPS AGAIN because he NEVER THOUGHT he'd see such a thing and YES this is a THIRST TRAP why do you ASK

Hell yeah I gave him a tattoo, it's the seven stars of Gondor plus a coastal rockrose that grows in sandy soils along the Mediterranean because I figure that's like Dol Amroth in honor of HIS MOM because I LOVE SYMBOLISM

[theboredbori]

The Fellowship as Barbie teaser photos ft. Gollum

[theboredbori]

middle-earth's wholesomest besties

[theboredbori]

Which Lord of the Rings characters say fuck:

Aragorn: definitely says fuck, and has to catch himself and tone it down when he becomes king

Boromir: yes. "They have a fucking cave troll."

None of the hobbits do; at least, not at first. Pippin picks up swears from Boromir, and Sam will swear under duress

Gimli: swears all the time, but mainly in Khuzdul. He definitely tries to teach Khuzdul swears to Legolas

Legolas: swears very rarely, and usually in Sindarin, which sounds so pretty that it goes unnoticed. Gimli often tries to goad him into swearing

Gandalf: knows all the swears, but doesn't say them

Galadriel: used to swear when she was younger, but that was thousands of years ago, and she no longer does.

Eowyn: swears constantly. every other word.

Faramir: swore once, and still regrets it.

Gollum: doesn't know any swears, but would say them if he did.

@fadedkat

[theboredbori]

I honestly feel like nobody in lotr mentions how fucking weird Legolas is. He stays up pacing the floor and singing to himself in the dead of night. He deadass stares straight into the tree line in the absolute pitch black when no one else can see anything. He yells goodbye to a river he has heard about in songs. He's so strange and not one character mentions it AT ALL. I absolutely love him.