thecelestiallibrary

[thecelestiallibrary]

I probably can spend the rest of my life without knowing and I guess I’m okey with that now, not knowing. I’ve come to terms with that.

But there was a time when I - - kind of craved that knowledge but I was never curious enough to obtain it.

Is it a loss on my part? Whoever knows…. Certainly not me.

[thecelestiallibrary]

from "Poems of Fernando Pessoa"

[thecelestiallibrary]

You can only love them.

You can only console them.

🫶

[thecelestiallibrary]

“Staying quiet doesn’t mean I have nothing to say, it means I don’t think you’re ready to hear my thoughts.”

— Unknown

[thecelestiallibrary]

"He runs a hand over the mantel. 'I saw an elephant, in Paris.' Her words to him, so many years before. It is such a strange answer now, filled with unspoken things. I saw an elephant, and thought of you. I was in Paris, and you were not. 'And you thought of me,' she says. It is a question. He does not answer."

- V. E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

[thecelestiallibrary]

“I shall go on shining as a brilliantly meaningless figure in a meaningless world.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned

[thecelestiallibrary]

If I remain too long,

The bitterness of my coffee,

It shall reach my soul,

And a tragedy it will be,

That is for everyone to see.

[thecelestiallibrary]

My anguish I will permit,

To devour me and my home.

Yet I will tear to shreds,

The vocal chords in my throat,

Before they attempt once more,

To call in vain for you.

[thecelestiallibrary]

“It is awful to want to go away and to want to go nowhere.”

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[thecelestiallibrary]

I look at you, and I just love you, and it terrifies me. It terrifies me what I would do for you.

— Alexandra Bracken, Never Fade

[thecelestiallibrary]

— sylvia plath (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[thecelestiallibrary]

Langston Hughes, from a poem titled "Minstrel Man," featured in The Selected Poems of Langston Hughes

[thecelestiallibrary]

covering my ears when I hear you speak outside my window because im afraid you talk badly about me.

afraid of covering my ears because then I cant hear anything happening.

why do you do this?

at home is not at home.

please dad, why do you accept her hating me?

or am i just a failure?

[thecelestiallibrary]

eye-burning lights, scary streams of information, unsafe people.

light-hearted sarcastic jokes feel like threats.

please stop, is all my mind screams, please, you scare me, but I remain silent and laugh with them all. its funny. funny. funny.

its getting too warm, too sticky here in this room and in my body.

fleeing into the bathroom but the lights in there can't be turned off.

mirror me shows three tears leaving my eyes.

can't. can't. yet i leave the bathroom to sit down again, to listen and be good.

stomach twisting and turning because I feel unsafe and terrified.

breathing is flat, thoughts gets dizzy and fragmented.

i feel nauseous, someone touched me, i almost cried.

words are stuck in my throat.

i need a break. i need a break.

sinking to the floor in the bathroom for the 5th time in less than 3 hours.

shaking hands.

tingling hands and feet, don't feel them anymore.

blurry vision, i touch the wall.

walking to my seat again.

haha, i did not understand what was said, but everyone else is laughing. funny. funny. funny.

gasping for air that doesn't seem to come.

oh no.

is this were i pass out?

[thecelestiallibrary]

[thecelestiallibrary]

“It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happy in a fool’s paradise.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Idiot

[thecelestiallibrary]

“It’s amazing how much damage can be done when you have nothing but good intentions.”

— Tom Marin