thecorvidaecollective

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“bear with me” you say. we both turn into bears and escape into the woods

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sometimes the heart's like !!!!!!!! and there's nothing you can do about it

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maybe its just me. controversial opinion. but stress should not decimate the body as much as it does

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mom doesn't really seem to want me to get job. and keeps saying I should get one in walking distance, one I walk with a cane because my balance and legs are shit walking to a job will likely take away any functioning I would have for working and then I'd have to walk home as well. our area isn't very walkable like it's better than some but everything's on a really busy road that my mom hates the idea of my walking on she was like panicking the one time we had to walk to the food lion. also most places in walking distance, don't hire under 18, arent hiring like ever except for the places I know I couldn't work cause we already know food service isn't a good option especially not fast food because we get panicey and overwhelmed sometimes just stopping for food somewhere for a bit with how much noise is happening and all that. basically my options are food lion or dollar general. the food lion that's right here is like never hiring and when they are it's manager roles and stuff that needs experience not what I can apply for. and my mom has complelty said she won't let me work at dollar general cause she worked there when I was in 5th grade and the system was horrible and she hated how the company treated her. so basically what's being said is you can't get a job just yet. which like whatever I don't really care honestly my body probably couldn't handle a job rn. but also like I don't have any money, you don't give me chances to earn money really like ever, and when I do babysit your either there too or voluntold me and I don't get paid. like I get money Christmas and birthday from people as their gift. and I have to make whatever last normally. my birthday is close enough to Christmas people combine it sometimes cause I'm a January baby. and not being in the I don't get money way complaining about that but more in the the only times I do are very close together at the beginning of the year. and this year people didn't even do cash like normal they did gift cards, can't do anything to buy online with them really cause so many places freak out and I can't input the information, and even like in stores they don't work most the time. it's just one of those I'm expected to have my own money and be able to use my own money for stuff but have no way to really get or have money of my own.

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oww I've had like some sorta like rug burn? aroundy eye for awhile and it's pissing me off it won't go away and it stinggssss

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wearing corset helps my back and everything so much. I would like to be able to wear it this year cause it keeps my body so much less falling apart. but school metal detectors are so finicky I can basically complelty empty my bag only leaving like a notebook and still set off the metal sector, I don't even wear like any belts or jewelry really at school cause I don't have the energy to get dressed in the mornings. school is so fucking early have to be out of the house to get the bus before 6:30 like I hate it so much and like I never really put effort into my outfits just black T-shirt, black leggings basically and my hoodie. and getting searched is so fucking annoying cause the guards don't really respect your stuff throwing everything everywhere, it makes it even harder and take even longer to get in the building and they don't like giving students passes so like Im late to homeroom cause security takes forever to get through and I get in trouble and points against me for being late. like what. like I wanna wear my corset but I've had my spiral notebook set off the metal detectors before a corset with metal boning and clasps and stuff will trigger everyday likely. and unless I wear it over my clothes {which I likely won't I'll likely be putting oversized T-shirt over and wearing jeans cause I'm trying to stop wearing leggings as often cause it gets us misgendered more and dysphoria even tho comfy.} and it might just cause issues cause they wand everyone who sets off the walk through detectors that will beep if a teacher stands to close sometimes and then I'll have to explain why my fucking chest is beeping. but like I know the corset would help, and like last school year near the end there I was completely falling apart. I dunno I could just be stressing over nothing.

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baby girl I don't know what that acronym means. it would be so sexy of you to write out that piece of media's name in its entirety. Just the one time for momma please.

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learning that ofc means ‘of fucking course’ is such bullshit. she’s ‘ofcourse’ to me

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writer brain is like “what if this story was a metaphor for grief”

no babes what if this story was finished first

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sometimes I almost forget slut is a derogatory term. it's so friend shaped to me. I love when things are slutty. I love sluts and slutting it up. it's a cute word. make every day sluttier than your last. sluttttt

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new episode was absolutely amazing, had a good bit of development for like everyone. obviously Jax is probably like the biggest in this episode but it really helped us understand how things are in the circus. so excited to see where things go cause it's getting so interesting. I wonder how long Kingers been in the circus, who was he cause no one else has been in the circus as long as him and like he was shown as being able to manipulate the circus even if just a bit which it doesn't seem anyone else has been able to do that. I think Jax might be the next abstraction. I think the way he's acting is part of his way to try and keep himself safe and others safe, especially since the other 2 characters he's been implied to have been close with have both abstracted. I think he doesn't want to get close cause he's worried he's why people have abstracted. but I think he's kinda losing it, struggling to stay in the circus and not go crazy because of it. So his pushing the others away and acting how he does could also be to protect the others from the grief of losing him to abstraction. obviously all just theoryizing but it's so interesting. everything's so complex and just this show is amazing I can't wait to see where the story goes.

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my heart rate is always in that area where it isn't high enough to classify as an issue but is still really affecting me making me so horribley nauseous and I can feel it everywhere. it didn't have that wierd feeling for a bit but now it's back again. I was hoping that the propranolol would help but it hasn't yet.

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measured bo dad said it was pretty normal but my heart rate was a bit high for being like laying

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so uhh my blood pressure been weird. like I haven't measured it to figure out how fucked it is. but like I can feel my heart beating so strong it's making me so dizzy everything is horrible.

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there's been plenty of pushback against youtube's plan to age-check users by using an AI to analyze everyone's watching habits, but amidst that, i spotted this playlist circulating among some teens:

(picture is a reconstruction to protect the kids identity)

interesting! they're trying to trick the AI by watching videos that have a primarily adult viewer demographic? well im a curious fella so naturally i have to take a look-see, and

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Rules of DIY:

if it's a skill, there's rules you can learn

if it's an art, rules are not your concern

make it fucked up or you won't make it

if it's already broken, you can't break it

anything can be fixed with gorilla glue

except for pleather, and also you