thecosmosdefys - Tumblr blog

[thecosmosdefys]

I OUCH YOU ASSHOLE HHNG

Tic-Tac-Toe

based on this!! amazing ask!!

.. -. / - …. . / -. .- -- . / --- ..-. / --. --- -..

To look at and to listen to is one things, something that would click immediately within your mind if you had seen it- however, to feel it is something you weren't fully aware you could do. Small taps on your thigh when you would be sitting next to him in the mess hall, laughing to one of Johnny's absurd jokes. Feeling the dashes on the palm of your hand as you walked through the corridors on slow nights.

- --- / -... . / -- .. -. .

Sure you had always known that the Simon Riley had a hard time saying things, he was a flirt to the random girls at the bar but to the people he truly cared about; it was like stumbling through a sentence was the easiest thing for him. So you had resigned to accept his nonverbal acts of affection. Allowing yourself to be content with soft kisses in lieu of words.

- --- / .... .- ...- . / .- -. -.. / - --- / .... --- .-.. -..

It wasn't that he was unaffectionate, quite the opposite, it was that he couldn't show it how he so deeply wanted to. The words would get caught in his throat and they would come out a half kidding banter, like a dig into the psyche. All the same, what he felt for you was something so deep and profound that not even he could dare put it into words. So he would maybe whisper them against your skin when he knew you were too asleep to even know he was awake, he would let his touch linger.

..-. --- .-. / -... . - - . .-. / .- -. -.. / ..-. --- .-. / .-- --- .-. ... .

You didn't think much of the taps, you summed it up to a nervous tic, or maybe something he found comforting. After all, since before you had been dating you always knew he liked to be moving some part of his body, if it be rubbing that frayed edge of his jacket or lightly tapping the palm of your hand.

- --- / .-.. --- ...- .

It didn't click, how he would climb into bed after a long day and how his hand would almost mindlessly move on its own, tapping the skin of your hip as he tried to squeeze into you as if you would vanish if he didn't. You didn't realize the important of the faint kisses on the nape of your neck and how they were oh so perfectly timed to be some sort of code.

Until it was a code.

.- -. -.. / - --- / -.-. .... . .-. .. ... ....

" Hol on, Hol on, /m gettin somthin."

You look to Johnny from where you were currently desperately trying to fix the radio, the thick smog limiting your sight and the burn of the gas in your lungs making it hard to breathe. With a heaved breath you push yourself up to stand and then sink back to your knees where Johnny had been trying to see if the truck's radio worked- a mission gone south left you and heseparatedd from Simon, leaving him in the building.

It was silent until the beeping came over the radio and it...felt sofamiliarr yet you couldn't place your hand on it, it was like a deja-vu feeling within your gut- "It's morse code- God, I forgot that was still a thing."

Johnny looks up at you and then gives you a weak laugh, "Yea, hol' on," as he spoke he took out a pen and paper and began to scribble down the dashes and lines.

"Think it's him?"

"He's tha' only un' tha' knows it."

..- -. - .. .-.. / -.. . .- - .... / .--. .- .-. - ... / ..- ...

"Johnny?" It had taken the man a few seconds to write down the repeating message, then a few more to translate it.

"Johnny is it him? Is he okay?"

There was no silence, the hiss of the storm raging outside and the faint roar of gunfire from the battle you had just been ordered to flee. Yet everything was so slow, he wasn't speaking, he looked almost sorrowful.

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- --..--/ ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / -.. --- ...- .

"He loves you. He said he loves you so much."

.. .----. -- / ... --- -.- -.- -.--

"He's sorry."

(annnnway thats all! any feedback, comments or ideas you got trust me I wanna hear them! <333)

[thecosmosdefys]

Ok so maybeee this is just me being depressed and insecure, and slightly obsessing over specific men, but I need a fic about citizen reader just feeling so emotionally drained and insecure about her body, scars and everything in general, so when simon gets home from deployment he's so confused why she's acting weird and distracted, but he's tired from being away for months on end, so this leads to reader feeling guilty and even more insecure

(I'm so sorry, I didn't know how to shorten the explanation 💀)

[thecosmosdefys]

Should I start writing again? brbrbbr

[thecosmosdefys]

I made something for you! ( ・∇・)

Sorry if this blinded you lol!- ( *・ω・)ノ

Omg thank you so much! It's adorable!!!! idnfossbdj

[thecosmosdefys]

helloo!! could you write some protective!ghost headcanons?? please and thank you♥️💋

Protective Simon Riley

Pairing(s): Simon Riley x GN ! Reader

Warnings: Slight possessiveness, maybe a little violence?

Synopsis: How I believe Ghost would be protective of you, and what that would entail.

Authors Note: Peekaboo! Is me again! Gosh I know two posts back to back? 👀. I try to keep up with asks and stuff as well as answer them as soon as possible! I hope you enjoy these headcanons!!!

I feel like if you were in the 114 He wouldn't like stop you from going on missions? But if you're going on a dangerous one, don't even think about leaving him behind. It could be a one person mission and he's convincing Price to go with you.

He makes sure absolutely nobody can mess with you, one of the ways he does this is by training you. He teaches you self defense, where all the pressure points are, how to get away or knock them out even if you have the disadvantage. He even teaches you how to take a gun from someone so that they don't fire it, and how to disarm someone with a knife.

Out in the general public you're obviously protected. You may be sunshine and rainbows, but he's behind you brooding and giving everyone that looks at you the wrong way a glare. Crossed arms and everything, he looks so hostile.

If you're with someone he's not sure about or he doesn't like the vibe of, he won't let you be with them alone. He just won't even if he doesn't know exactly why he doesn't like them. Yes you guys can hang out, but he will 100% be brooding in the corner? Like god, he almost scares off whoever it is.

If someone hurts you? Like say you come home crying or something? After he comforts you and you slip off into sweet unconciousness, he leaves the house. When he comes back you end up waking up and his knuckles are bruised and bloody, and he's not saying whose blood it is at all. But you have an idea-

I feel like if you're a civilian he is making sure your house has like top notch security. He's installing like extra door locks, window locks, he's tripping the house with one of those security alarm systems, and even going as far as to put up ring doorbell and cameras at every angle of the house so nothing is left out. Both of you have access to it.

He of course teaches you how to handle a gun in the case he isn't there. He makes you read the entire manual twice and then deconstruct and reconstruct the gun twice before you're allowed to actually use it, and then you're off to the range.

I don't feel like he would be overly protective but he would be in the small things. Like walking closest to the road, holding your hand in public so you don't get lost, protecting you from afar, and so on. He's honestly just the sweetest, but if you tell him to back off he will do so begrudgingly.

[thecosmosdefys]

Hiii would you please write smth for simon with an s/o who has depression and anxiety disorder??:'( the details don't really matter, you can write it however you want and it's ok if you don't wanna do it… hope you're doing great and have a nice day💕

Simon Riley who helps his S/O with their depression & Anxiety

Pairing(s): Simon Riley x GN ! Reader

Warnings: Depression, Anxious thoughts, Anxious and depressive behaviors

Synopsis: How I think simon riley would deal with your anxiety & Depression

Author Note: Peekaboo! Tis I cosmos!!! I saw this request at work and decided to write it as soon as I got home, for right now I really only have the energy (as well as time because im about to head back to work) to do headcanons but I hope you enjoy them!! (their more like mini blurbs

I feel like Simon would 100% understand if you told him you had anxiety or depression. He wouldn't be the best at dealing with it but by gods he would do his best to help you with your problems! Like truly he would!

Say idk your room in your apartment is just... really bad. You havent left in ages, and you stopped texting Simon? He's there in an instant. Once he realises your super depressed hes like "alright luv lets get started" and he's helping you clean, wash your clothes, ect.

If you can't find the energy to shower he's drawing a bath and helping you slowly strip off your clothes. He slips you into a nice warm bubble bath and either slips in with you or helps wash you from outside of the bath. He cleans your skin and then does your hair for you making sure to wash it without getting soap in your eyes. He might blow bubbles at you to make you laugh.

If you can't cook or something and maybe don't have the energy, he makes meal plans on sundays, so he starts including you. So when he cooks ahead for the week, he also cooks stuff he knows is your favorite meals and then drops them off on monday.

Would definately invite the 114 over for a little suprise day spoiling you, expecially if he knows being around people helps you. He will plan a movie night and invite you over, and you walk in and all the boys are just sitting there eating popcorn and movie snacks. As soon as they see you its just a huge dog pile of hugs (they almost knock you over)

If your anxious in public he will gladly hold your hand and do all the talking for you. You don't want to order because your stomach is in way too many knots? He already knows what you like and he will order it for you.

Most dates he will try to keep at home if he knows that your anxious in public. You want to see a brand new movie but don't want to go to the movie theater? He texts you to come over one night and he has practically made his living room a movie theatre. Lots of blankets, snacks, pillows for a pillow fort, and a little basket for each of you.

If you have relationship anxiety he is definitely reassuring you all the time. its almost like he knows what youre thinking before you say it out loud? (I swear he's a mind reader) He can tell by your tells when your anxious and he's calming you down already.

If you have anxiety attacks? He's comforting you instantly pulling every coping skill he can out of the book. He is putting loop earbuds in your ears and then breathing with you. Having you name the 54321 thing, and everything. Even has a little sensory/anxiety kit ready for you on the go in his car. He is no stranger to anxiety.

[thecosmosdefys]

hi how u doin?♥ would u do general relationship hcs for ghost and könig pls?? :)<3

What dating Ghost & König would be like

Pairings: Ghost x GN ! Reader, König x GN ! Reader

Warnings: Violence, Cussing, Death

Synopsis: Just headcanons of how I would think Ghost or König would be in a relationship!

Author's Note: HIIII! Im doing good thank you so much for asking! Also I wasnt sure if you meant like? Ghost x König or like X reader headcanons so I went with what I thought you mightve meant? If this isn't what you wanted don't be afraid to put in another ask for my inbox!!! Also just want to note how excited I get when someone puts an ask in my inbox- I get so excited- It literally makes my day! Love you guys <333

Dating Ghost

I feel like if you dated ghost, at first he would seem a little cold around you? Like he wouldn't know what to do with emotional or physical intimacy. He doesn't give you the cold shoulder but he is so awkward at it at first.

Don't expect him to say I love you first, or even realises he loves you? Like before you guys start dating he is always around you, and picking to go on missions with you if your apart of the 114, but he doesn't seem to realize even though everyone around him does.

Once he starts getting comfortable with the relationship, he is like showing you off to everyone. You're like his prized trophy and he could not be happier. Like he's telling everyone all the time about you, and even your little accomplishments, god he loves you so much!

He will do things he doesn't want to do, if it means he gets to see a smile on your face? Like he hates christmas parties, but if you find yourself wanting to host one? He's already making a list of who's invited and what you might need. (He may even wear one of those ugly christmas sweaters for you but don't count on it.)

Physical intimacy? To him thats just even holding hands and it takes months for him to open up to you like that. But after he opens up, god hes all over you. In the mornings he's hugging you from behind. Never stops kissing you in public. He is disguting with his PDA, hes all over you all the time, and sometimes its cute and then other times your like "Simonnn stoppp" and he will... for 3 minuites-

He is so domestic when he is at home. If you need anything he is absolutely helping you. He will be your little apprentice when your cooking and everything. Sinks broken? He's fixing it. You are missing an ingredient for your food or baking stuff? He's on his way to the store to get it for you. You haven't been able to clean up the house? He's on his hands and knees scrubbing.

If you have a mental illness? He's helping in anyway he can. Even when he's away hes making sure your taking medicine if you're taking it, or reminding you about your therapist appointments. He is all over helping and doing his best to help make life easier for you even if just by a little bit.

Dating König

Literally what the fuck. He is the biggest god damn teddy bear you have ever seen. Out in public he is brooding and angry looking, but in private? He's on his knees doing anything you want him to do.

He is the biggest fan of soft touches. If you're out in public at the grocery store he's 100% rubbing his thumb over your knuckles, or just being sweet. He might brush your hair out of your face if it's in it or hindering your sight.

He will do your little routines and when I tell you it is hilarious to see this big beefy man, with a pink glittery face mask on his face, man its hilarious. When he's home he's doing your little haircare and facial care routines with you. He's oiling his hair, or putting face masks on, maybe even little cucumbers on his eyes. (of course you're taking pictures for blackmail.)

He remembers the little things about you. Sometimes when he comes back from missions he will have picked up something, or bought something that reminds him of you, or something you like. You had mentioned to him that you love forget-me-nots and you came home one day noy realizing he was home, and there was a bunch of pressed, perserved, forget-me-nots in a frame. (He ended up hugging you from behind and almost scaring you into dropping it a few seconds later but that's irrelevant)

He may not be super public about your relationship with him, but it is pretty obvious. When your out in public, he's behind you scaring the shit out of anyone who may bother you. You're his and he wants everyone to know that. Maybe you hang out with the crew one day and he has his arms slung around you, or wrapped around you in some way that screams "This is mine".

He may not actively always do things in the house, but he hovers around. He also loves to leave little things so that when he is gone you remember things that are important for you to do, he knows you have a bit of a bad memory.

Just like ghost, if you have a mental illness he is all for supporting and helping you. If you need someone to talk to he is holding you in his arms as you talk to him. He even makes sure your meds are always accessable to you, and helps in any way he can.

[thecosmosdefys]

Spider Webs & Blackmail

Pairing(s): Ghost x GN ! Reader

Warnings: Spiders, Screaming

Synopsis: You find a spider in the kitchen and try to get Simon to kill it.

It had been dinner time when the little creature was spotted. You had innocently been grounding some beef when right across your vision you had seen a large brown blob skitter across the edge. Eyes began to focus and then all the sudden you jumped a little bit as you realized what it was. A huge brown recluse spider that was predominant to the south.

A scream ran through your throat as you skittered back from it in pure fear. As soon as it did, Simin came running in the room at the sound. "Whats wrong?!" He had said as he scanned the room for any possible threats, his shoulders puffed up a little bit in fear. "Kill it kill it oh my god its a fucking spider!" You pointed at it in pure fear and then as soon as he had seen it, he screamed a little bit and jumped back as it had been close to him.

There was a little bit of a shock factor and you suddenly werent scared anymore. Your big beefy military husband... had just screamed like a girl? Over a spider? You nearly wanted to laugh. Simon looked around as if someone else had did it before clearing his throat, desperately trying to keep his masculinity in tact. Although you two werent distracted for very long because it began to move its long legs across the kitcehn again, at a very fast speed. You rushed to turn off the stove and then skitted out of the kitchen at the now running Simon.

In the end Simon called Soap saying that it was a "Very serious urgent matter." As soon as Soap had rushed to the house, and heard the matter at hand, he burst out laughing. You watched as he practically slapped his knee with laughter and then snapped a quick picture of Simon. Your face was a bright red out of embarrassment and Simon's was bright red out of anger. You could tell he was struggling to keep his cool, but if he didnt the spider wouldn't ever leave.

With careful hands Soap took up a bowl and then waited out the brown recluse before picking it up. He snickered a little more as you both jumped back, and he pretended like he was going to throw it on you. Simon barely held in a scream and instead jumped a little and cleared his throat. Before he left Soap took another picture saying he would "tell everyone." All that was hurt though would be Simon's pride. In the end everything ended up being okay and you had continued cooking your dinner.

Although later at dinner you had ended up mocking your husband just a little, just a little bit of fun would be fine.

[thecosmosdefys]

hiii!! just read your Simon blurbs and i'm IN LOVE!! so soft and cute🥰😭 you write beautifully, keep up the good work and i hope you have a nice day/night♥️

Okay okay I literally can not thank you enough- First of all you are my FIRST ANON which is really cool and THANK YOU SO MUCH FISBDISH I literally squealed when I saw this- If you end up paying attention im actually doing Inktober but in writing instead- I plan on posting at least once or twice tonight- But literally thank you so muchd dhwuegsisnsk

[thecosmosdefys]

Nightmares With Simon

Pairings: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley X Gn ! Reader

Warnings: Nightmares, Violence, Cussing, Major Character Death (In the nightmare), Blood, Gore(ish), Puke Mentions, Panic Attack

Synopsis: You have a nightmare about Simon dying in front of you and he wakes you up and comforts you

After about an hour of sitting absolutely still you ended up falling asleep in Simon's arms.. Or so you thought. You were awoken in a different room, and Simon was gone. Almost instantly you threw your hands over your ears as the loud noises of gunshots rang through the small place. In a panic you flew up and all you could think about was to find Simon and escape. As soon as you left the room you saw so much chaos… yet no one reacted to you. Almost as if you weren’t there. Everything seemed to go in slow motion for a bit and it didn’t hit you that you were a part of a dream, nor that you couldn’t be seen or heard. You jumped from one room to the next desperately trying to find Simon but with no luck. Memory of how you got here seemed to have completely been lost to you. You had no idea where you were, where Simon was, or how the fuck you even got here to begin with. Nothing made sense.

All of the sudden as you were hiding in a room you saw what seemed to be a flash of your Husband’s mask. “Simon!! I'm right here!! Simon!!” You screamed until your vocal chords felt like they were going to snap. He… ignored you. Your chest burned and you dashed out of the room like a mad man only to watch in slow motion as several bullets made contact with his body. You screamed his name out and right as the blood and flesh splattered on your body.. You felt a cold splash.

With a scream you flew up out of bed almost knocking a very terrified looking Simon down with you. His hands gripped your shoulders firmly and he was trying to speak to you but all of his words seemed to come out like a blur, you couldn’t hear him. You felt your stomach begin to gurgle and the remains of your dinner began to come up. You threw him off you and ran to the bathroom barely making it in time to vomit into the toilet bowl. Your hearing was ringing, the lights hurt, your stomach hurt, everything hurt.

You nearly jumped out of your skin whenever Simon came up behind you and held your hair back for you. In between vomiting you were full blown sobbing your shoulders shaking violently. Simon seemed to try his best to console you but for the better part of the next thirty minutes you were completely inconsolable. At some point after wiping the vomit off your mouth and spitting the remains into the toilet bowl, you had turned around and were clutching onto a now on the floor Simon as if he was your life line.

Tears fell freely from your eyes as you gripped onto his shirt, shaking violently. Soft little shh's and it’s alright left his mouth as he rubbed your back in a circular soothing pattern. “You… You died” you had managed to borderline mumble out between sobs. Simon did his best to continue to soothe you until you could manage to tell him what happened. He held you tight as the description of your dream tumbled out of your mouth. “It’s alright luv’... I’m alive.. Im right here… Were both right here…” He whispered as he pushed your hair out of your face, still holding onto you tight.

After about thirty more minutes he managed to get your sobbing down to just the tremble of your lip, he slowly picked you up after flushing the toilet and then pulled you into bed. He wrapped a big thick warm blanket around the both of you and pulled you tight to his body as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear and attempted his best to ground you. “I would never leave you like that luv. If you ever screamed my name I'd be right there in an instant, and most importantly I would never put you in harm's way.” He whispered into your ear as he continued to rub your back in the same motion as before.

Slowly enough your breathing managed to slow, the tears beginning to dry up, and the tremble of your lip ceased. He watched as your eyes fluttered shut and you finally managed to succumb to sleep once again. He sighed and then kissed your forehead before saying, “ I love you.. It was all just a dream.. Don’t worry..” After that he slipped off to sleep himself.

[thecosmosdefys]

Fern's Masterlist/Rules

Rules

I will not be doing NSFW on my page, there may be slightly heated moments but I personally just don't enjoy writing it. Please don't request it I beg of you.

I currently will not be doing fic's, but you can always request blurbs, which may turn into a series depending on how much I decide to continue them.

If you request something, please specify if you want head-canons or a blurb, it really helps me out a whole lot, if you don't specify I'll just automatically assume it's dealer choice and do whatever I think fits the prompt.

You can request any character in the COD WW2 Fandom as well as The Last of Us fandom, I can't guarantee how good I will do but I will try my best to bring your vision to life.

Masterlist

Request Status: Open

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Ghost

Soft Kitchen Moments (Blurb)

Nightmare's with Simon (Blurb)

Spider Webs & Blackmail (Blurb)

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Ellie Williams

Sweet Nothings (Blurb)

Dealer Ellie (HC's)

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[thecosmosdefys]

Soft Kitchen Moments

Pairing(s): Simon 'Ghost' Riley x F ! Reader Warnings: None Synopsis: Reader having a soft moment in the kitchen after Simon comes back from deployment.

You yawned softly as you continued to knead the pie crust, making sure to incorporate every ingredient. Simon, your husband, had come home from deployment yesterday so you had decided to make a pie whilst he was sleeping. The early morning rays seeped in through the kitchen window and shed light on your flour covered pink apron that Simon had got you a while back. It was give or take about 7 a.m and the sun had just begun to come up. You had awoken at about 5:30 in an effort to begin the long process that was making apple pie. Currently as you were making the dough the apples were steeping in the sauce you had made earlier. You heard the door creak up above where both you’re and Simon's bedroom was. A soft smile graced your face as you looked up towards the stairwell, hands steadily kneading the dough. A groggy Simon traveled down the stairwell, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Luv, what are you doing up this early???” He mumbled at you, having yet to process his surroundings. Honestly you were surprised he hadn’t felt you get up earlier that morning, but you knew he had been exhausted after coming home the night prior. 

You smiled up at him as he began to sniff a little and open his eyes. “Oh darling, I know your previous deployment was rough on you… So I decided to make your favorite pie.. An apple pie.” You whispered. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. You gave him a small kiss and finally finished kneading the dough, as soon as you began to roll it out he started to pepper kisses all over your neck making you giggle. “Simonn! Stopp! You know I'm ticklish and I’m trying to get this done!” Your voice was a little breathy with laughter as you tried to wiggle out of his embrace. You could feel him smirk against your neck and he gripped you tighter before placing wet sloppy kisses all over your neck, face, and forehead. Your giggles bounced around the room, your words going unsaid as you couldn’t stop laughing. Finally when he loosened up for just a second you managed to escape. With a little stomp and a huff you glared at Simon, with no real malice of course, there was nothing but a smile behind your anger. “If you are going to distract me darling, i'll have to ban you from the kitchen momentarily.” You huffed out with hands on your waist as if to solidify your point. 

Simon put his hands up in mock surrender before deciding to settle on sitting at the kitchen table, watching as you continued your work. He didn’t think you truly knew how beautiful you were to him. He watched as the sun hit your face and all he could do was stare in awe, you were stunning. There was nothing but pure concentration on your face as you made sure the crust and the filling were anything short but perfect for him. Your tongue was stuck out in concentration, one of the habits of yours that he thought was adorable.

Thirty minutes later you had finally finished and put it into the preheated oven, right as you closed it you were snatched into his arms quicker than you could say stop. He snatched you up and sat you on his lap as his arms wrapped tight around you. Simon buried his face into your chest whilst you smiled down at him and began to play with his hair. It was soft moments like these that made coming back from deployment amazing, it gave him something to look forward to. Even in his darkest moments he looked forward to coming home to you, you were his light in the darkest of tunnels, guiding him through. When he was on deployment he kept a mini water color painting you had given him. It had been created on a cold fall morning, one akin to this one, whilst he had held you in his arms. You had been messing around with paints and he decided to distract you, so you had created a small watercolor painting for him to keep as a way of getting him to leave you alone. He did end up leaving you alone, but not for very long. As he thought back to all the cold and warm mornings with you, he seemed to slip off, only to be brought back by the timer of the oven going off. He watched you in awe as you slipped off his lap, grabbed some mittens, and got the pie out of the oven with ease.

You were his, and he hoped you forever would be.

[thecosmosdefys]

Might start writing Ghost and Konig little mini excerpts? 👀 Im just thinking about it-

[thecosmosdefys]

Sweet Nothings

Just a sweet little Ellie Williams x Reader that I wrote on the way home from the lake theveudn also im half asleep writing this am so sorry

Tws: None

Ellie smiled at you as she watched your drowsy face, so so close to falling asleep. Both of you had a very long day, from different shifts, new people, an overrun of infected, and so much more. Finally though you two were able to rest and she couldn't be happier. Not only that but she was excited you could finally get some sleep too, she knew you deserved it. Expecially since recently you had been taking on extra shifts, picking up slack from some of the people within the compound.

She trailed her fingers across your delicate face, as if it was the softest thing she had ever touched. The pads of her fingers ran over your freckled cheeks as you sighed and completely relaxed into her hold and the bed below you. Your shoulders slumped as she tucked your hair behind your ears, her touch about as delicate as a feather.

"My sweet baby, you're so tired aren't you?" she murmured and you nodded slowly in response. Ellie couldn't help but smile down at you, she assumed you really were tired. "Get some sleep hun, you deserve it after the day you had..." she whispered and watched as your eyes slowly fluttered closed with permission.

[thecosmosdefys]

Dealer Ellie HCs

------------------------

Dealer Ellie who will happily do anything to help you whether it be with homework, a shoulder to cry on, someone to hang out with, and so on. All you need to do is send her a message and she will be at your front door within minuites

Dealer Ellie who may be slightly jealous if your dating her, she might want to constantly hold your hand in public so everyone knows your hers. Or she may even leave very large, visible hickeys all over your neck for when your not with her

She would literally drop anything if you needed her. Your on your period and cramping but shes at a party? She will drop the party in a second, sending you a message that shes on the way with a bag of chocolates. Your upset and call her crying? She will tell you "Im on my way baby" and be at your front door in minuites... may or may have not been speeding to get there though

If you don't smoke she would do everything in her power to keep it from you, that means hiding her stash, not smoking around you. not smoking in her apartment so it doesn't smell, and washing all her clothes or designating specific clothes for smoking so that you don't have to smell it

If you do smoke she will 100% be smoking with you. She may have you over her lap as she smokes, even holding the blunt in your mouth whilst you intake smoke. She would also really love shot gunning with you... all though I wouldnt unless you wan't something else to happen because she would definately want to make out with you after that and that would lead to other things

She would love being able to provide for you and would wan't to take you out on cutesy little dates, even get you flowers, and would pay for it because "I wear the pants in the relationship" and "theres nothing I wouldnt do for you babe"

If you told her you liked something, she would stay up all night researching whatever you liked because she would want you to talk about it and would like to engage in the conversation with you actively.

[thecosmosdefys]

its its- its so cute- just sidbsodbdidhajvwiwbwis

| a/n : this is sort of the result of writer's block!! there won't be a second part though. college!ellie. interactions are appreciated <3

| c/w : swearing, passive depression and anxiety, disordered eating vaguely implied but nothing serious/on purpose?? inappropriate age gap mentioned (not ellie/reader) hinted at internalized homophobia?? it sounds like a doozy but it's sweet, i swear

lessons on how to exist - ellie williams

you mushed your cheeks with your palms, drawing them upwards until they pressed against your eyelids. you didn't think that you could remember what it felt like to not have a headache.

the warm breeze was taunting you, wisping in and out of your room. even the sound of the cars driving by made you feel nostalgic. something about the first warm day of spring felt like a tangible memory from your childhood.

someone outside shrieked and you snapped to attention, glancing outside of your dorm window. the sound was followed by laughter, echoing its way up to the opened screen in your room. oh.

earlier that day, after work, you had passed by some people having a picnic on the green. they were dressed sweetly and laughing a lot, taking pictures together. they looked nice but it made you feel angry, or sad maybe. it wasn't their fault. you just wished that you could go on a picnic too.

you could, of course, but you wouldn't dare. you didn't exactly feel confident enough to plop down on the grass alone, with a basket and book. you wished you did, but you couldn't even walk by someone without thinking twice about your appearance.

more laughter ensued and you wondered what it felt like to be walking under the sunset, talking with people who really cared about what you had to say.

screams and laughter, screams and laughter.

your eyes felt fuzzy and you blinked, pulling yourself up from your desk. the effort almost hurt, like you were dragging a bag of stones.

you moved to the window and closed it, cutting off the fresh air circulation throughout your dorm. the air conditioner would suffice.

your laptop screen threatened to go dark and you let it. you weren't getting the assignment done anyway. you felt tired, which was silly to say and silly to complain about but you didn't really sleep much anyway.

you tried, sometimes, but it just never really came. you did all the tricks, don't snack too late, limit screen time, but sleep didn't welcome you. to spare yourself the frustration, you just gave up sometimes. sometimes, staying up felt like the only free time that you had.

after work, there was class. after class, there was homework. you spent more time at your desk than anywhere else. you wished that you had a chance to enjoy the weather. maybe you still could.

the sun wasn't visible anymore but it wasn't dark, the sky was that pretty shade of blue just after sunset and just before nightfall. if you were quick, you could make it back before then.

you exchanged your pajama bottoms for leggings, and pulled a discarded hoodie over your tank top.

you were rooted in melancholy, the only positive being that it won the fight over anxiousness. for the time being.

the hoodie pocket was stuffed with things that you might need, and you patted it just to make sure before you slipped on your shoes. you didn't need to glance in the mirror, there was no point. you made your way to the door, quickly at first and then slowly. you stilled your breathing, pressing your ear against the door as your hand hovered above the handle. you're silent, and you waited.

you had splurged money that you didn't have for a single dorm. you had done the whole roommate thing before. it wasn't nice.

still, you waited for any indication that someone could be in the hallway. it was so awkward, walking out at the same time as someone else. sometimes it was a guy, walking right in the middle of the hall and they never squeezed over to make more room. after a shower, they always exited the bathroom without a shirt on. the proximity made your face hot, but not out of attraction. embarrassment.

everything was quiet so you emerged, carefully opening your door and stepping out into the hall. you shut your door slowly, holding it until the last second. you hated when people let their doors slam. you were in the clear. you walked a straight path to a set of doors that led to the stairwell. you felt satisfied, almost pleased with yourself that you hadn't changed your mind yet until the stairwell door slammed open.

you flinched, practically jumping back, partly in surprise and party so you wouldn't get hit.

"shit, sorry," the offender muttered, going red in the face. a girl stood in front of you, clad in a baggy hoodie, jeans, and converse. nothing out of the ordinary, but it looked nice.

you felt like you had to apologize for nothing, maybe for simply being in the way. "no, i'm sorry." you couldn't meet her gaze, but your eyes danced around her face. she was pretty in a charming way. pretty in a way that made your stomach hurt.

"don't be, i'm the one who came barreling through the door like an asshole," she waved off. you blinked, finally catching her gaze. green eyes.

you wordlessly shook your head and your motivation was gone, you wanted to go back to your room. you stepped away, far away, so she could have plenty of space to continue on her way. she didn't, though, and instead turned to face you once more.

"ellie," she offered, not with any bravado.

you were stunned but introduced yourself anyway to be polite.

"i don't think i've seen you once all year" ellie commented. she doesn't mean it to be cruel, but it makes you feel bad anyway.

"i'm not really around much," you shrugged. it was a truth and a lie.

"do you live here?" ellie questioned. you wished that she would move on.

"in the building? yeah."

"on this floor?"

"yeah," you nodded.

"cool," ellie nodded, fully taking in your appearance. there's no point in having small talk and you aren't sure why she's dragging it on.

you wrinkled your nose as ellie moved, a familiar smell filling the air. something earthy that stings your nose, but beneath that, something warm. you glanced at her eyes and they're a little glazed over. you awkwardly shift your weight and ellie seems to catch a hint.

"sorry," she mumbled another apology, this one more sheepish than the last. "i'm totally holding you up. it was nice to meet you," ellie said, and she repeats your name. maybe to show you that she was listening and retained it, or maybe that's just how she is, but it made your heart swoon nonetheless.

"you too," you uttered, watching once her back was turned. ellie was one, two, three doors down from you. she disappeared into her dorm and you turned on your heel, backpedaling into your room. you didn't feel much like a walk anymore. besides, it was already dark out.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

the alarm blared through a staticed speaker like some kind of joke. you felt at risk for a heart attack, jolting up with a screech caused by the sudden high pitched noise. the light was blinking rapidly, flashing in the dark room. the fire alarm continued to sound, piercing your ears. you quickly sat up in bed, panicked and shaking. you blindly reached for your phone, accidentally knocking it off of the windowsill in which it was perched upon in the process.

"fuck," you muttered, leaning over to grab it with a trembling hand. it was 1:42am, and you could've cried. you had finally fallen asleep.

"fuck!" you exclaimed a little louder, clamping your hands over your ears. it was protocol to leave the building, and despite the time, you were embarrassed to leave the room in your pajamas. you debated doing a quick change but the alarm continued to mock you. you slipped boots on, holding a tight grip onto your phone and key before exiting your dorm.

the hallway was busy, crowded with people complaining. obviously, you weren't the only one in pajamas. still, you felt shy. you followed a line of people down the stairwell, over and over again until you reached the first floor. the doors were burst open and it was cold, considering the time of night.

people stood in groups, laughing and grumbling angrily about the situation, probably some asshole who burnt popcorn.

you trudged along to find a clearing, standing alone. you stared down at your boots in the grass until you heard a somewhat familiar voice.

"oh hey, it's you," the voice observed, as if this were some kind of casual meeting.

you drew your eyes upwards. ellie. your cheeks burned instantly. it had been a few days since your run in, but you had admittedly thought about her a lot since then. it was silly, but you grew warm under her gaze. "hi ellie," you replied, quickly regretting the use of her name. what if she didn't even remember yours?

as if she could read your mind, ellie repeated your words, replacing her name with your own. you pressed your lips together so you wouldn't smile.

"nice to see you again," ellie remarked. "except-" she winced, and you knew she meant the fire alarms at the obnoxious hour.

"you too," you replied. "except," you added thoughtfully, almost as a joke.

ellie must've liked that because she took it as a welcome to take a step closer to you, though you didn't really mind. "did it wake you up?" ellie asked, and you noticed her voice sounded raspier with sleep.

"unfortunately," you sighed. you realized you were in your pajamas and you crossed your arms over your chest. you felt silly standing outside next to ellie, all pink and polka dotted.

"me too," ellie complained with a sigh. your action only drew her attention to your clothing, and ellie tried her best to hide a smile.

you made eye contact and ellie knew she had been caught, so she resigned. "cute pajamas," she commented, eyes gleaming. "i like the little bow on the bottoms, very tasteful."

your face burned and you wondered how long it would be until you could go back inside. "you're a little underdressed for the occasion, don't you think?" you joked back before you had a chance to doubt yourself. ellie was simply in a hoodie again, though this time with pajama pants as well. she looked cute, and your stomach turned, feeling guilty for thinking that of a near stranger.

"if i knew you were gonna be here, i would've stepped up my game," ellie retorted, but grew awkward as the words left her mouth.

it made you giggle though, and you didn't bother holding it back. you couldn’t tell if she was flirting or just endearing. then again, you didn’t think that anyone would just flirt with you.

"next time," you reassured her, not sure why you were feeling so gutsy. "although, and no offense, i hope there isn't a next time."

you hoped that ellie would understand your joke so that you didn't sound rude, and she did. the laugh that escaped her lips was short but sweet, and you smiled with pride.

ellie cleared her throat and you turned to look at her, tilting your head. you felt less nervous in the dark, didn’t have to worry about her scrutinizing your features.

“uh, while we’re out here, maybe we could…” she trailed off and you got nervous, wondering if you would have to side step your way out of an uncomfortable situation.

“could i have your number? or you can take mine, so you don’t feel like, you know, but also just say no and that’s totally fine too,” she rambled.

you hoped that ellie wasn’t just making fun of you, because you really wanted to say yes. for the first time you had realized that she was nervous too.

“sure i’ll give you my number,” you replied. “and i’ll take yours.” you passed her your phone, allowing ellie to enter her information while your heart thumped.

the exchange was quick but lasting in your mind. you felt like a child, gifted with your first phone with promises to only let people you knew and trusted have your phone number. you didn't really know ellie, therefore a lack of trust was only expected. still, you wanted her to have your number, wanted her to use your number. it was a new feeling and as a contrast, your stomach sank.

the silence that followed was awkward, but not lasting. the all clear was given and bodies swept into the building like a school of fish. ellie was shoulder to shoulder with you, and you felt as though you had to keep reminding yourself that you lived on the same floor.

"i'll see you around, right?" ellie asked, once you had made it to your shared floor. she ran a hand through her hair, movements unsure.

"sure," you murmured, hesitating outside of your door.

"is this your room?" ellie asked, taking notice that you were no longer walking alongside her.

you nodded, making a small sound of confirmation. you wondered if she was going to comment on it, and then-

"seriously? i'm only three doors down!" ellie exclaimed, as if she really couldn't believe it.

widening your eyes, you tried to give off an appearance of surprise. it wasn't necessarily justified, but you felt strange about already knowing which room was hers.

"oh really?" you questioned, trying to play it off. "that's funny," you murmured.

ellie hesitated then, lingering by her door. she looked like she wanted to say something, but she didn't.

"um, goodnight," you laughed, beginning to pull upon your door. you heard ellie respond in parting, so it finally felt safe to collapse into your room. you quickly shut the door behind you. sleep was tugging at you, but there was something else there too.

something else that was unidentifiable, until a group of guys were running through the hall, shouting and pounding on doors and your phone buzzed, displaying ellie's name for the very first time.

Did you hear that?!

the simple message made you giggle as you melted into your comforter. you hardly knew her, but you swore that you could read her tone through the text, one of mocking complaint.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you had a game with ellie.

it wasn't really a game, but more of an exchange that happened frequently.

since the night with the fire alarm, you texted frequently. more specifically, you texted frequently to complain.

large or small disturbances, it was practically a race to see who could notify the other quicker.

drunk people being loud in the hall, someone slamming a door late at night, music blaring through a speaker... messages of can you believe this noise?! and did you hear that??? always ensued.

you acted like cranky neighbors, venting about disturbances in the neighborhood. it was lighthearted and silly, you could expect a text no matter how small or insignificant the sound.

now though, the sound was significant, and loud. it wasn't keeping you awake, however, though you wished that you could merely blame the music for your lack of sleep. you had been awake, staring blankly at the ceiling long before the music had began.

you reached for your phone, squinting at the bright screen. you felt desperate to text your new friend, desperate for a reply and a confirmation that you existed.

you didn't have to think hard before you typed. you went back and forth everyday.

do you hear that??? you sent, half-heartedly wondering if she was even in her dorm tonight. the music had been playing for awhile and ellie hadn't texted. the realization made you sick. maybe she was sick of the joke.

not even thirty seconds later, the music stopped. all of the muffled laughing immediately hushed. the sounds felt like background noise at the point, so the abrupt silence stirred your interest. when you looked down at your phone, it indicated that ellie was typing. you watched for a moment, curious, and then the tiny bubble disappeared.

you knew what was coming before it even happened. you only had time to pull a sweatshirt over your head, covering a thin tank top before a knock at the door made your pulse quicken. one glance through the peephole confirmed your suspicions and your hands shook with dread.

"ellie," you uttered flatly after pulling open the door, not feeling a need to try and act surprised. she looked disheveled but panicked, she was wide-eyed and her face was all pink.

"i'm so sorry, i'm an asshole," ellie expressed. her heart pounded with guilt. she had bothered you, no doubt making a poor impression and she felt sloppy to try and fix it.

despite the urgency of her spilled words, you only shook your head.

"you didn't," you insisted, leaning against the door frame.

ellie's eyebrows knitted together out of suspicion, figuring you were only being too polite to tell her truth.

"i woke you up," ellie deadpanned her assumption.

you waved a hand to dismiss the thought, and ellie's eyes followed your painted nails. "you didn't," you disagreed.

ellie slouched, making it obvious that she couldn't decide whether to stay or go. her movements were slow, a stark contrast from her worried expression.

"i feel bad. and stupid," ellie admitted, looking at you curiously.

you felt guilty now, like you had taken something too far.

"really, don't," you pressed. "i didn't realize it was you, i was only joking."

you wanted ellie to stop talking about it, and maybe she understood that because she changed the subject.

"i just have some friends over, uh, dina and jesse? would you want to... come over too?"

ellie posed the proposition very nervously, and you wondered if she were hoping that you would automatically say no. an empty offer, just to be nice.

"that's okay," you declined with a smile. "i wouldn't wanna impose."

to your surprise, ellie actually looks disappointed.

"you wouldn't be," ellie said, nearly fumbling over her own words.

you hated yourself for thinking twice about it. it could be nice, maybe, to spend some time with ellie. on the other hand, there were other people there, and the thought terrified you.

"i really don't think-"

"we have way too many snacks and you could leave whenever you want," ellie interrupted. "it's a short walk back, see?" she demonstrates, walking backwards a few steps until she's at her door.

it's only then that you notice her door is cracked open, and two curious heads poke out from around the corner. you make eye contact and the guy instantly ducks away, disappearing back into ellie's room. the girl, however, meets your eyes and smiles. it feels welcoming and you wonder what would happen if you were to say yes.

"i'm dina," the girl called, giving a small wave. you introduced yourself back, and she chuckled.

"i know," she replied, and ellie winced.

"i'd love if you could join us," ellie pursued. she meets your gaze and spoke low enough so that only you could hear her voice. "only if you're comfortable," she added.

you weren't, but you gave in anyway.

"sure," you resigned with a sigh, and ellie's lips turn upwards in relief. you were unaware that as you followed ellie to her room, it would end up being one of the best decisions that you made.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

when your phone rang while you were at work, you expected it to be some sort of family emergency, not ellie.

"hey?" you questioned, ducking away from the prying eyes of your coworkers.

"are you hungry?" was ellie's response, and when she failed to elaborate, you frowned in confusion.

"yeah," you breathed simply, trying to keep your voice quiet.

"good, don't eat," ellie said, and you could picture the wince that must've registered on ellie's face after the words left her mouth.

"because i'm bringing you something," ellie quickly clarified. you would have laughed if you weren't being stared at.

"i'm at work," you denied.

"yeah, but you get off in twenty minutes and i'm picking you up," ellie explained. your eyes widened as you tried to suppress the heat that threatened to overcome your face.

ellie has been adamant about pursuing a friendship with you, even when you had made it difficult for her. not that she was actively trying against your wishes, but she could tell that making the first move was difficult for you. so, ellie made the first move. and the second move, and the third move, and more after that. at some point, you had to stop questioning her intentions and wondering if she truly liked you.

"really?" you asked, affection flooding your senses.

"yeah. so just, keep being hungry. but only because i'm bringing you something. then you should eat and not be hungry because, fuck. i'll see you soon, okay?"

the twenty minutes until the end of your shift dragged but only because you were so eager to see ellie. it was another warm day, and your body ached to be outside in the sun.

when you were finally able to leave, ellie was waiting outside just as she had promised. she was leaning against her parked car, and you knew she only did it because she thought that she looked cool and the idea made you laugh.

"hi," you called happily.

"hi," ellie shouted back, proudly holding up a bag. "i brought mcdonald's!"

after a short span of driving, you decided to park somewhere and eat outside. you were secretly thrilled, though you had a suspicion that ellie knew that was exactly what you had wanted. she had a sheet in the trunk that you worked together to spread out on the grass.

the food was hot and fresh and you ate it like it was gourmet. compared to your usual meals, or lack thereof, it practically tasted like it too.

the sun was warm and the breeze was slight. you were actively defrosting and ellie's eyes looked exceptional in the sunshine.

"i read this book when i was younger," you started, dipping a fry into your milkshake. "where this girl always called it mcinedible. i always copied her because i wanted to be like her but... my heart just wasn't in it," you sighed, chewing thoughtfully.

ellie's eyes squinted with the threat of a laugh. "what do you like to read now?" she questioned, copying by dipping a fry.

"anything," you laughed, and you knew it was a lame answer. "i'm not that picky. i can show you some of my favorites sometime."

"please do," ellie enthused, and your heart grew warm.

"thanks for doing this," you said suddenly, feeling nostalgic for the moment that wasn't even over yet.

"anytime," ellie replied casually, and you knew that she meant it. "i like being around you. it just feels..."

"easy?" you suggested, stomach twisting.

"easy," ellie confirmed. she studied you for a moment and you willed yourself not to shy under her gaze, but you shrunk away anyway.

you nodded. "i get that. i don't feel like i have to try to act a certain way or... i don't know. it doesn't make me tired," you suggested with a short laugh.

"i'm glad my presence isn't draining for you," ellie teased, so you bumped her leg with your shoe.

"you know what i mean," you mumbled half-heartedly.

"no, i do," ellie confirmed, leaning forward to get a good look at you. it makes you nervous but this time you didn't look away.

"yeah," you mumbled, picking through your fries. "you were lucky though, you already have your people," you pointed out, referring to jesse and dina.

"and there was room for one more," ellie reassured. "plus, it's not the same."

at that, your heart sinks. you looked downwards, smoothing the sheet underneath your palm. it's not like you expected to turn into ellie's best friend... even though, if you were honest with yourself, she was the best one that you had at the moment. of course, you couldn't expect to be as close as dina and jesse.

"you misunderstood me," ellie observed, frowning.

"what?"

"it's not different in a bad way, it's different in a good way," she explains, cheeks red despite the confident tone of her voice.

"oh," was all that you could manage to say.

you weren't stupid, you knew what she meant because ellie hadn't exactly tried to keep a secret the past few weeks. even if you found it hard to believe, you couldn't exactly deny it. you didn't talk about it though. you were too scared. you knew the way that you felt about ellie was different, but you were too scared to confront it. too scared about what it might mean.

"oh," ellie repeated. "is that okay?" she questioned, tilting her head and looking at you sideways. her face was scrunched up because of the sun and you knew that you did like her, very much in fact.

"sure it is," you replied casually, before taking a drink from your straw. "i'm just not really sure what it means."

ellie took a moment to consider your words, chewing thoughtfully.

"that's okay," she concluded after a minute.

"is it?" you frowned, feeling a little dizzy from dancing around so many topics.

ellie nodded. "no pressure," she uttered sincerely, which you appreciated.

"why aren't you dating anyone?" you asked suddenly, too quickly to be able to mentally curse yourself for being rude. intrigue won you over, and ellie smirked.

"because i didn't like anyone," she explained simply, shaking her head. "until i met you."

you beamed at your milkshake but you didn't realize that you shook your head in denial until ellie called you out on it.

"hey, don't shake your head, i'm telling the truth!" ellie laughed, snatching your cup away from you.

"hey," you warned, with no real threat in your tone.

ellie returned your cup as soon as you reached out for it. she playfully rolled her eyes, melting under your gaze.

you talked and ate, rotating between silly small talk and deep conversations, completely opening yourselves up to each other. you liked that you didn't have to overthink each thing before you said it, you just said it. and ellie was funny, really funny, she made you laugh and your stomach was hurting but in a good way. she played good music, too. her phone remained in between you, playing quiet music from a playlist that ellie had made.

"my first kiss was when i was fourteen, and she was sixteen," ellie explained between bites. you nodded along, listening carefully.

"and?"

"and?" elle laughed, looking at you. "that's it. we kissed. she was my best friend, we kissed and she moved away. it's your typical lesbian romance story," ellie rolled her eyes.

"mine was when i was fourteen too," you commented. ellie perked up, eyebrows raising.

you finished your fry and swallowed. "she was about four years older," you explained, missing how ellie's smile immediately vanished. "and she had a girlfriend. i didn't know that she was going to kiss me, or else i wouldn't have asked for a ride home," you stated with a breathy laugh.

ellie's breath hitched and she scanned your features, eyebrows drawn together. "and then what?" she asked, serious and soft.

"i went home and cried and wrote in my journal." you explained it like it was a joke, smiling and laughing and ellie felt sick to her stomach.

you dipped another fry into your milkshake, and ellie didn't want to let your confession linger.

"my last relationship was awful," she admitted.

"oh yeah?"

"yeah. not like, toxic or anything. well," ellie reconsidered, scrunching up her nose thoughtfully and it makes you laugh. "she's the one who gave me my tattoo."

your eyes widened in surprise. "that tattoo?" you asked pointedly, glancing to the ink on ellie's arm.

"that tattoo," ellie confirmed with an amused smile.

you scooted closer to really inspect it, tracing the detail with your fingertips. "what's her name?"

"cat," ellie answered, heart softening as she watched your concentrated tracing.

"cat with a c or kat with a k?" you asked, sitting back to look at her.

"cat with a c," ellie confirmed.

you hummed thoughtfully, brushing your salted fingertips off on your thighs.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"come on kids, or we're gonna be late," jesse threatened, shouting at you from inside of his car.

"oh shut up!" dina rolled her eyes, jerking open the passenger door.

"late for what exactly?" you frowned, throwing a blanket into the trunk.

"the sunset," ellie said simply, brushing her fingers along your waist as she reached around you to close the trunk. your heart skipped a beat and ellie opened the car door for you, helping you inside.

you had all contributed to packing a picnic, an assortment of your favorite foods, snacks, and drinks. it was possibly the most low effort thing in the world, but you were buzzing with excitement. it wasn't the first time that the four of you had done this, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. though this time, jesse had kicked you all into high gear, making it absolutely sure that you wouldn't miss the sunset.

you lived for those moments, watching as the orange glow faded into a dark blue. even when the sun was down you would remain outside, talking until it was too cold and the blankets and hoodies would no longer suffice.

you would laugh anyway through numb lips, the sounds of happiness echoing amongst yourselves.

[thecosmosdefys]

Nah nah nah here I am, chilling, seeing the angst? tag yk, and as one would think only a toe dip in the pool kinda angst. N o. NO- this mf threw me in the deep end and here I am finally at the end going 👁️👄👁️ NO MY BABY CHILD- I WILL BE BUTTHURT ABOUT THIS FOREVER /j

5. cool about it - ellie williams x reader

part of the ‘record-verse’ - a collection of stand alone one-shots based off of boygenius’ album ‘the record’ that exist within the same universe.

summary: sometimes things aren’t better off left unsaid. 

pairing: ellie williams x reader

word count: ~3k

c/w: mutual pining, tiniest bit of violence, harassment, language, angst? loser lesbians? 

a/n: first one-shot!!! it’s not the first chronologically, but I hope you enjoy meeting this version of ellie and reader. let me know what you think <3

“we don’t have to talk about it.” 

After you had settled in Jackson, along with the snow and the urge to bare your teeth whenever someone got too close, you had moved the dining table to be closer to the windows. So that when you sat down in the slightly rocky chair at the head of the table you were able to watch the sunlight filter in, even if it meant having to squint your eyes everytime you looked outside. It wasn’t that big of a change, given the limited amount of possessions you own and the fact that the furniture came with the house. No one except you would realise that the dust patterns settle differently now. There was something poetic in that, you were sure of it. 

You hadn’t told Ellie that you had spent a couple of hours pushing around furniture in a way that chases out the shadows, it wasn’t particularly groundbreaking information. She also didn’t come around as often as she does now when you did it, back then she hadn’t come around at all. But now, sometimes when she visits you feel like she knows. Knows that the couch next to that chair, or the shelves against that wall, were just taking up space in place of something else. There was no way for her to confirm this, not unless she asked, but you both knew that she wasn’t going to. Not for the lack of caring, more so the fact that there wasn’t really the need to. Like how you knew she wasn’t going to ask, she knew the answers already. This funny little dynamic between the two of you speaking for itself. Besides, absence didn’t necessarily scare you, more so what might lurk within it. Tucking your feet up on to the chair you sat upon, you turned your head to look outside.

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