thedailylifeofmomo

[thedailylifeofmomo]

By Anne Symons

[thedailylifeofmomo]

im a violent dog and i know exactly why i bite

[thedailylifeofmomo]

24/05/2020

[thedailylifeofmomo]

dysphoria

[thedailylifeofmomo]

It’s not kindness you’re after

[thedailylifeofmomo]

Tuesday - April 22nd, 2025

you're still haunting me. you show up in my dreams when I least expect it. I thought of something tonight. something I never thought about before. did I hurt you?

did I ever hurt you? just seeing you in my dreams hurts me so badly. it's you but it's not really you... did I make up these versions of you to heal? or do you keep coming back to me as a sign that I fucked you up.

each version of you is so kind. each version of you treats me so well. but each version of myself either treats you well or treats you like shit.

I think you'll keep showing up though. we sadly are tethered together in every universe and every made up dream in my head. I'm sorry for every little thing I've done. the pain I've caused you. the pain you've held onto. the pain I never was able to help you with.

I also hope you don't hate me as much as I hate myself.... especially when you saw and heard the things I went through when no one else knew it was real....

thank you for being the one person in that time that was a beacon of hope. a beacon of light I wanted to protect always. thank you for showing me the love I needed in those dark moments when I never knew I was being abused....

I hope you're okay and I'm not showing up in your dreams as well.....

[thedailylifeofmomo]

I just want peace.

[thedailylifeofmomo]

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn

[thedailylifeofmomo]

[thedailylifeofmomo]

it feels like there's a time bomb in my head but i can't see the countdown, only hear the tick.

[thedailylifeofmomo]

[thedailylifeofmomo]

January 3rd 2025 - Friday "A New Start"

I don't think I really have anyone reading my stupid vent posts on here. it's kinda like writing/posting into the void. it's kinda nice. it's like an outlet that no one can see. no one can really comment on. no one can truly see my true dark thoughts about myself, the world, and others.

I know I haven't written in here in a year. so much has happened since then. it's been a struggle of ups and downs. all I've been doing is trying my best to not feel like the world is imploding onto me. I want to actually try and heal parts of me that are still raw. the parts that won't fuse back together and that are being held together by tape. my wife and these meds can only do so much. for the most part I just want to see if all those cracked pieces turn into a person. a person who isn't broken and can just be a little normal. maybe that's too much to ask for. I know that I'll never get rid of my CPTSD but what if I could? I know it would take years but I would love to know myself. to know who I am with out my mental illness.

sorry this became a lot longer than I thought it would be. I hope that I can continue writing on here about my thoughts and emotions.

and if anyone i know finds this when I die. thanks for seeing me for who I am and not the masked up version I've shown to you. ♥️

[thedailylifeofmomo]

I always think about calling you when I'm drinking

[thedailylifeofmomo]

I still wanna talk to you

[thedailylifeofmomo]

[thedailylifeofmomo]

Can we forget this happened?

[thedailylifeofmomo]

They need to invent parents that don't cause the cptsd