thedarksidecupcake

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Well it's not my fault the canon is so incesty

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Amber Midthunder as Naru Prey (2022) dir. Dan Trachtenberg

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I am going to give Shen Jiu a little pet fish!! His fish is the local, attractive transmigrator!! He will spend so much money on his fish ONLY because the fish can spy for him! TOTALLY NOTHING ELSE. No! He doesn’t care about how cute Shen Yuan looks stuffing his face with pastries! He also doesn’t care that his little pet fish risks his human/fish identity for him! Shen Jiu does not love his little fish guy!!

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macau saying "that was fast!" after pete and vegas kissed is really making me think about what vegaspete looks like from macau's point of view. imagine you're macau, your older brother has been shot four times by the major family and hospitalized. a guy you kind of know because he's your cousin's bodyguard shows up at the hospital and starts taking care of you and your brother. until now you've had like three conversations with him total. after a month of this weirdness you overhear this guy call your brother his owner and himself your brother's pet casually in conversation, and for some reason they start making out about it. like isn't being a teenager already hard enough

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This is what I mean, Sam. You sure your emotions aren't getting in the way here? What are you talking about? You know, nice dude, but he's got something evil inside. Something in his blood. Maybe you can relate.

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WHAT GLORIOUS DAY, I may finally post the gift I drew for my flatmate hanna

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Disciple Shen Yuan: If you want to beat someone so badly just beat the Sect Leader! He'd be so into it he'd thank you for it!

Shen Jiu getting ready to take notes: elaborate on that

Two days later

Yue Qingyuan with a black eye, a blissful smile, and a limp: Xiao Yuan! You have my deepest thanks! Please take this purse of money as a token of my gratitude

Shen Yuan: ...I am going to qi deviate to remove my memories now

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just finishing Dead men's blood AND

this parallel??? the fucking mate for life vampires and deansam?? oh my god they're insane and they make ME insane

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3 am andreil sketches

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CW: Mpreg

I think if Bingqiu/Bingyuan had children that they'd have a dozen or so more of them. Not exactly by choice, it just happened one day when Shen Qingqiu woke up feeling sick and lightheaded, even with the blood mites and his cultivation body for some reason his Qi felt off.

He goes to Mu Qingfan who does an inspection on him (to Binghe's dismay 🥺😤) and it turns out Shen Qingqiu's got like 10 of those fuckers in his belly.

Shen Qingqiu thinks to himself 'flush it' but then reconsiders, he has to consider how Luo Binghe would feel...

Binghe certainly has a lot of baggage with that sort of thing doesn't he, and Shen Qingqiu thinks that maybe, well, he certainly is fond of children. And if he's carrying Binghe's children well-

"Flush it" Binghe says.

Welp, that settles that.

"You can't" Mu Qingfan chimes in. "You're already 3 months pregnant"

So that's why Shen Qingqiu's belly was getting fuller recently, he just thought he was getting chubbier.

But how exactly did Shen Qingqiu get pregnant in the first place?

"Did you have protected sex?"

"No."

They end up keeping the baby (not much choice in the matter with how fast heavenly demons grow in the womb). Luo Binghe makes sure to take care of Shizun and make sure he's resting properly and eating right, while Shen Qingqiu knits the babies their heavenly demon robes with little mittens and gloves to boot. Of course, he makes a matching set for Binghe too.

They set up a baby shower at the palace to celebrate. Shang Qinghua is the chaperone of course, leading the guests (a begrudging Liu Qingge, the sect leader, and Mu Qingfan) towards the backyard. Yes, Binghe's palace has a backyard and Shen Qingqiu likes to garden there.

Shen Qingqiu sees that they walk by, appreciating the gifts in their hands. Mu Qingfan had brought the snack platter by Shen Qingqiu's instruction, and he's admiring the assortment of food decorating the board, he advised Mu Qingfan to specifically design it like a charcuterie.

"What's a charcuterie?"

He asked him to have a plate and to make it look nice.

At some point he has to kick Shang Qinghua in the shins for trying to hog all the snacks, after all Shen Qingqiu called dibs- well, it's for the guests, of course. Yes.

He opens the presents, starting with Liu Qingge's first he finds a bloody bag inside the box, Shen Qingqiu is really getting "dead dove do not eat" vibes.. he finds the heart of a three headed monkey spider.

"Mm, I'll keep it in my collection Shidi." He gives him a smile.

Liu Qingge only grunts.

Luo Binghe tries to give him the death stare, but it almost looks comical when he's wearing the knock-off burger king hat that Shang Qinghua made out paper for him, the word "Daddy" scribbled on it.

He opens up Shang Qinghua's gift next, and it's ten tiny shirts that spell out "Pride Month" that slowly spells out "demon". And at the bottom of the box is a parenting pamphlet... written by Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky...

Shen Qingqiu only gives him a pointed stare.

Shen Qingqiu opens up gift after gift, with each one accompanying awkward clapping from the crowd.

Yue Qingyuan got him toys for the babies, Mu Qingfan brought the necessary toiletries. Liu Mingyan gave them some clothes, Sha Hualing gave them tiny knives (he'll just throw those out later).

A month or so passes by and Shen Qingqiu had finally gone through the terrifying ordeal of childbirth, as in he didn't, really. He was asleep for most of it actually, score for him! Go cultivation setting!

Mu Qingfan was the one to deliver, he handed him one kid after another to the passed out drooling Shen Qingqiu, while Luo Binghe stood by his side sobbing like a mess. Each baby had an assortment of their features, one had a cute button nose that looked like Binghe's, another had curly black hair and brown eyes, another one had the shape of Shen Qingqiu's sharp eyes.

As expected of the protagonists babies, they were so cute!!! It's like holding a bunch of white lotuses in his arms, so many fluffy small heads he can pat! Shen Qingqiu nearly had hearts in his eyes over how cute they were.

"What will you name them, Shizun?"

"They're yours too, don't you want to name them?"

Luo Binghe only shakes his head, "You have the honor to name our children Shizun," he gripped his hand and gave him a bright smile. "That would make me the happiest man alive."

And so Shen Qingqiu thought to himself long and hard about their names. He considered, they are Binghe's children so they should carry the "Luo" surname. Yes, he's got it:

Luo Bingye, Luo Bingfei, Luo Bingyue, Luo Bingren, Luo Binghan, Luo Bingluan, Luo Bingliang, Luo Bingbing, Luo Bingfu, and Luo Bingchun.

Shen Qingqiu smiled to himself very proud of his naming choices "welcome to this world," he said. Luo Binghe looked in awe and adoration.

And Mu Qingfan nearly passed out.

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KinnPorsche + text posts (pt. 68/76)

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dean saw sam and was like, "Is no one gonna objectify, manipulate, groom, free use him?" and then didn't wait for an answer

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I'M BACK WITH MORE ANGST

(but first of all!!! i loove that characterization of wei qingwei, the pirate-dad-peak lord; i can see him being the only peak lord/person who is allowed to casually fix stray feathers on shen qingqiu's wings, because he never makes a big deal out of it or acts like he's made of glass. he fixes it like he fixes someone's hair or clothes, which is a bit of normalcy shen qingqiu is probably desperate for)

so i was thinking: water prison. the whole jin lan city debacle goes roughly the same, only of course with the added accusations of sqq having been an untrustworthy, scheming demon all along and the accusations being a bit more dire. public opinion turns against him badly and he gets hauled off. the old palace master would probably go all in on his demonic heritage and accuse him of a slew of other things too, and then demand his wings be clipped because he'll "escape otherwise". it's not great but shen qingqiu doesn't use his wings to fly that often, and he'll molt soon anyway so he agrees with the conditions (if only to soothe things over). but then ofc in private they do whatever they want and the old palace master changes clipping to pinioning, which is significantly worse, very painful, and cripples him (bonus points if the little palace mistress comes to the prison with her whip and gets a few hits in too cus his wings are drenched and hurt and difficult to maneuver<3).

i do think in this case luo binghe doesn't visit bc if he already got furious at the little palace mistress for using her whip, he wouldn't accept his shizun's wings being mutilated (however, if binghe does come it would be a similar kind of frustrating miscommunication as in canon, and when binghe gets furious when he sees shen qingqiu it's not at sqq but at the state of him, but sqq doesn't know that, and reacts in fear and self-preservation (moving away, tucking his wings tight and close to his body, eyes flashing pale blue (like a crow's!!)), which of course makes it worse; maybe binghe assumes that shen qingqiu thinks this was his idea, which he would NEVER).

when gongyi xiao (love this good boy<3) comes by ofc he's horrified to see the state of shen qingqiu's wings (clumps of blood-slick feathers on the floor, one wing clearly shorter than the other, ripped clothes and bruises), and just like in canon he immediately goes to free him bc it's unacceptable and vile, and maaaybe he jumps to the conclusion that binghe must have done this to him to punish him. with the last of his strength sqq transforms into his full crow form, which is easier to smuggle out of the prison bc gongyi xiao can bundle him up in his robes (for extra drama binghe can be like "shizun will let gongyi xiao swaddle him in his robes and hold him but not binghe??🥺🥺😡😡" "binghe please don't say it like that")

*Gripping the sides of my coffin as I force myself into a sitting position and yes, I do look as - if not MORE - fit than Tianlang-jun in that one illustration (you know the one I mean)* Hey.

This angst just hit me incredibly hard in the stomach and that's why I've been ill so...it's ALL YOUR FAULT (kidding, kidding). Anywhosles, Gongyi Xiao is precious and of course he would smuggle crow Shen Qingqiu out of the prison the moment he sees the mutilation of the poor guy's wings. If he believes Binghe did it? Another reason to dislike the guy that practically stole everything from him (I love this precious guy and he deserves better in canon 😔). He has heard so much about the peak lord grieving the loss of his disciple, and Luo Binghe repays him by practically destroying his wings?? Shameful :(

From the Zhuzhi-lang angle, imagine he's in snake form, going to find the fit guy dilf half demon cultivator that saved his life and helped him out when he should have killed him, and finding a Huan Hua Palace disciple holding a brutalised crow with overly intelligent eyes. It's not hard to jump to the conclusion that the Huan Hua disciple has either caused or helped cause these injuries upon Shen Qingqiu, and is possibly even about to kill him. Keep in mind that all Zhuzhi-lang knows is that Shen Qingqiu has been taken into custody by Huan Hua, held within the Water Prison with his wings to be clipped, multiple accusations thrown his way linked to him being a demon, and that it's the snake boi's job to save him because Shen Qingqiu saved him that one time. What would you do in that situation? Because Zhuzhi-lang attacks with no remorse. Does Gongyi Xiao die?? The real question is if I could bear the poor guy dying twice just for doing the right thing...

The miscommunication between Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu always makes me want to die because just ONE CONVERSATION WOULD FIX EVERYTHING. But that's also why it's so silly and good and I love it. The idea that Shen Qingqiu believes that Luo Binghe is the reason why his wings are so fucked up could go deeper with the idea of, back when Luo Binghe was a disciple, he was practically the only disciple that was ever allowed to touch the man's wings, and he always seemed very upset when the other peak lords got to help Shen Qingqiu with his feathers - jealous of them, in reality, but the man thought that maybe he was jealous of how Shen Qingqiu was treated despite being a demon (it was a tidgy bit of the reason). So, when Shen Qingqiu is in the Water Prison, Binghe's first order of business could be perceived as: "you want to be treated as a pathetic human? I can help with that" and ruins one of Shen Qingqiu's defining features of a demon, making him vulnerable and weak - which is how Bingge felt humans were, and how Shen Qingqiu thinks Binghe views humans. So. Angst. Yay.

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feeling extremely normal about these two

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hey remember when Kinn kidnapped and isolated Porsche on a boat for the one(1) fist fight he participated in in show and got his dick punched, neck bitten, and STILL LOST despite having a gun and multiple guards with him

remember when Kim brought nothing but sass to a 6-on-1 gunfight and won

…yeah

[thedarksidecupcake]

Sam Winchester Whump | Supernatural THE HOLY BOOK (S1-S15)

1x01 Stabbed, car crash, pinned, emotional 1x02 Emotional 1x04 Insomnia 1x05 Eyes bleeding, guilt, pain 1x06 Knocked out TWICE, restrained TWICE, beaten, choked 1x07 Arm cut, thrown 1x09 Choked unconscious, pinned, emotional 1x10 Possessed, nose bleeding, punched x2, unconscious 1x14 Panic, painful visions x2, scared 1x15 Kidnapped, hunted 1x16 Clawed, bleeding, retrained, emotional, knocked down 1x17 Choked 1x18 Pinned, life drained (flashback and present) 1x19 Pinned aggressively 1x20 Choked 1x21 Painful visions, emotional 1x22 Tackled, beaten, weak, pinned, emotional, car crash

2x01 Car crash, panic, emotional 2x02 Emotional 2x03 Kidnapped, restrained, arm sliced 2x05 Painful visions x2, knocked down 2x09 Attacked, sliced, "infected," emotional 2x10 Punched multiple times, bleeding 2x11 Drunk/emotional, hungover 2x12 Bank hostage 2x13 Passes out????????????????? 2x14 Possessed, knocked out, burned 2x15 Mood swings 2x17 Clawed, heartbroken, emotional 2x21 Kidnapped, manipulated, spine stabbed, literally dies 2x22 Dead, acting weird, pinned, emotional

3x03 Cursed, trips, (25:05), knocked himself out, restrained, beaten, shot 3x07 Hunted, thrown, beaten 3x08 Sad childhood, choked, knocked out, restrained, sliced, fingernail taken, punched 3x09 Pinned, weak 3x10 Restrained & beaten 3x11 Mentally tortured, emotional 3x13 Missing, restrained, bleeding 3x14 Knocked unconscious, restrained, bloody wrists 3x15 Drugged unconscious, restrained, HIS EYE 3x16 Punched, emotional, betrayed, pinned, crying

4x02 Manhandled, beaten, pinned 4x03 (40:55+) 4x04 Punched x2, knocked unconscious, beaten, bleeding 4x07 Pain, beaten, choked, painful exorcism, nose bleeding 4x08 Struck by lightning, unconscious 4x09 Thrown, jumps from window, bleeding, flashbacks (grieving, beaten) 4x10 Choked 4x12 Restrained 4x13 Bullied childhood, nards kicked, punched, guilt 4x14 Neck bleeding, poisoned, Dean fistfight 4x15 Scared (40:40+) 4x18 Manipulated 4x19 Manipulated, knocked unconscious, sliced, bleeding out 4x20 Betrayed, trapped 4x21 Intense withdrawl, hallucinations (tortured, manipulated, emotional), seizures, restrained, angst, emotional pain (39:20+) 4x22 Manipulated, panic 5x01 Guilt, emotional, choking, (hated the whole episode) 5x02 Knocked unconscious, captured, guilt, scared 5x03 Guilt, manhandled, manipulated, scared 5x04 Possessed 5x05 Choked, knocked unconscious, restrained 5x06 Pinned 5x08 Nut "cracked" 5x09 Thrown, restrained 5x11 Manipulated, drunk, restrained, guilt/angry 5x12 Freaky friday, tranquilized, restrained 5x13 Stabbed, dies 5x14 Addicted, withdrawal 5x16 Killed 5x18 Thrown, hemorrhaging 5x19 Choked 5x21 Nausea, collapse, bleeding, tackled 5x22 Unconscious, possessed, scared, "dead"

6x03 Annoyed, acting strange 6x06 Acting strange, knocked unconscious, restrained, sliced, beaten unconscious 6x07 Restrained, bleeding, pain, diagnosed 'soulless', choked, 6x09 Beaten, bleeding 6x10 Biteas himself, bleeding 6x11 Worried, knocked unconscious (x2), leg scraped, bleeding, restrained, panic, pain 6x12 Emotional, guilt 6x13 Guilt, restrained, collapse, convulsing, Hell 6x14 Unconscious 6x17 Threatened 6x21 Knocked unconscious, dragged 6x22 Scared, comatose, (10:15), hunted, weak

7x01 Weak, (02:50), bloody nose, collapse, hand bleeding, hallucinating (Hell; hanged, manipulated torture), (23:50) 7x02 Hallucinating (choked, manipulated), freakout, hand pain, panic/confused, hand bleeding, knocked unconscious, head trauma, seizure 7x03 Unconscious (03:50), hallucinating, flashback (punched), punched 7x05 Pain, choked 7x06 Framed, interrogated, feels betrayed, angry 7x07 Angry 7x08 Missing, mind controlled/drugged, withdrawals, headache, knocked unconscious, restrained, choked 7x11 Choked, bitten unconscious x2, restrained, poisoned, weak 7x14 Clown phobia, scared as hell, punched x2, bleeding 7x15 Head hit, hallucinating (tortured) 7x16 Insomnia/torture, spacing out 7x17 Insomnia/torture, hit by a car, hospitalized, hallucinating, passes out, electrocuted, pain 7x18 Buzzed, knocked unconscious

8x01 Knocked down, arm sliced 8x03 Thrown, choked 8x06 Berated, beaten, bloody nose, heartbroken 8x08 Heartbroken 8x09 Manipulated, heartbroken 8x10 Angry, choked 8x11 Choked 8x12 Thrown 8x13 Poisoned, dying, unconscious 8x14 First trial, pain 8x15 Thrown, paralyzed 8x16 Coughing blood, thrown, pinned 8x17 Coughing blood, beaten, bloody noose, (23:25-24:20) 8x18 Knocked unconscious (38:20), restrained 8x19 Punched, arm sliced, thrown/pinned, second trial, pain 8x20 Exhausted, dizzy, punched, shoved, (33:40), punched x3 8x21 Tinnitis/resonating, delerious, fever, passes out, angry 8x22 Coughing, upset 8x23 Manipulated, emotional, crying, extreme pain

9x01 Comatose, dying, punched x3, manipulated, possessed 9x02 Beaten, knocked unconscious 9x03 Thrown, knocked unconscious x2 9x04 Passes out, mind controlled, knocked down 9x05 Sliced, seriously bleeding, knocked out 9x07 Pinned 9x08 Exhausted, thrown, unconscious, (38:00), confused 9x09 Concerned time skips, body held hostage 9x10 Hostage, knocked unconscious, restrained, probed/tortured, thrown, choked, weak, guilt 9x11 Grace extracted, extreme pain, reverting/dying, nose/eyes bleeding 9x12 Unconscious, restrained 9x13 Pinned, kicked, choked 9x14 Trapped 9x15 Tazed, restrained 9x16 Restrained, face/neck sliced, pinned 9x17 Punched to the ground x2, pain, choked 9x18 Angry (Gadreel) 9x19 Hit, blood drained, weak 9x23 Sobbing, greiving

10x01 Sling, knocked out, hostage 10x02 Tortured/beaten, pain, knocked unconscious 10x03 Manipulated, guilt, flashback (desperate), hunted 10x04 Choked x2, kicked down 10x06 Scared 10x07 Punched x2 10x08 Knocked down, weak, passes out 10x12 Thrown, weak 10x13 Tackled, choked 10x18 Choked 10x19 Manipulated, bleeding out, passing out, slapped, weak 10x20 Knocked unconscious, headbutted x2, punched 10x21 Scared 10x22 Guilt, desperate, thrown 10x23 Beaten by Dean, emotional

11x01 Hunted, infected, manhandled/choked 11x02 Infected, Hell flashbacks, dying, pain 11x03 Thrown 11x04 Bleeding 11x06 Choked, Hell flashbacks x2, collapse 11x07 Clown phobia, scared, choked, knocked unconscious 11x08 Guilt, glum, emotional 11x09 Manipulated, scared, trapped 11x10 Trapped, scared, manipulated, beaten 11x11 Insomnia, pinned, hand sliced, guilt 11x12 Hit x3 11x13 Pinned, cursed/choked 11x14 Pinned, threatened, extreme pain, collapses/unconscious 11x16 (27:10), Punched x2 11x17 Shot, extreme pain the whole episode, suffocated, "dead" 11x20 Collapse, pain, passes out, comforted 11x23 Shot (offscreen)

12x01 Shot, kidnapped, tortured (cold, burned, drugged/hallucinating), "dead", electroshocked x2, kicked, scared 12x02 Tortured (drugged, cut), bleeding, exhausted 12x03 Thrown 12x04 Knocked unconscious, trapped 12x05 Punched x2 12x06 Bruised, thrown 12x09 "Dead" 12x11 Painful tinnitus, bleeding, kidnapped, unconscious 12x12 Punch multiple times 12x18 Hit by sledgehammer x2 12x19 Thrown, knocked unconscious 12x20 Choked 12x22 Trapped underground, exhausted, suffocating

13x01 Knocked unconscious, manhandled, thrown, beaten 13x02 Choked 13x04 Therapy, emotional 13x05 Thrown 13x06 Thrown 13x07 Kicked, flashbanged 13x08 Punched, thrown, knocked unconscious 13x09 Punched 13x10 Knocked unconscious 13x11 Depressed, knocked unconscious, restrained 13x12 Choked, lucifer trauma, paralyzed, manhandled, choked 13x14 Burning alive (Jacks nightmare), attacked 13x15 Knocked unconscious 13x16 Slapped 13x17 Poisoned, passes out, weak, kidnapped 13x18 Attacked, thrown, choked 13x19 Passes out, restrained, pain 13x20 Choked, manhandled 13x21 Bit, bleeding out, collapse, dead, scared 13x23 Tinnitus, punched x2, missing, kicked, choked, pain, punched

14x01 Depressed, tired, thrown, manhandled, punched x3 14x03 Knocked down, 14x04 Knocked unconscious, halloween trauma 14x07 Worried, emotional 14x08 Emotional, grieving 14x09 Hit by bat, thrown, knocked unconscious, manhandled 14x10 Punched, pushed 14x11 Emotional pain 14x12 Emotional outburst, crying 14x13 Punched x3, emotional/daddy issues, choked, thrown, beaten, bleeding 14x14 Emotional, choking, blind, pain, tinnitus 14x15 Depressed, guilt, mind controlled, extreme pain, head almost explodes, emotional 14x17 Angry, guilt, beaten bloody, head trauma, dying, comforted, passes out 14x18 Emotional 14x20 Shot

15x01 Sliced, mysterious bullet pain, kicked multiple times, comforted 15x03 Crying, mourning/guilt 15x04 Demon Sam "nightmare", emotional 15x05 Lucifer Sam "nightmare", knocked unconscious, nightmare (beaten, choked, stabbed/killed) 15x06 Cursed, hemorrhaging, weak, kidnapped, stabbed (voodoo), extreme pain x2 15x07 Bullet pain, knocked unconscious, poisoned, dying 15x08 Kicked, choked 15x09 Restrained, bullet wound mangled, pain, manipulated (guilt, shot), (35:50), heartbroken 15x10 Unlucky, trips, sick, spicy pepper recovery, punched 15x12 Beaten 15x13 Thrown 15x14 Pinned, tortured (4 fingernails ripped off), thrown 15x16 Thrown, angry 15x17 Choked, punched, headbutted, emotional, crying 15x19 Beaten bloody, arm dislocated 15x20 Tackled, sobbing