theestreen - Tumblr blog

[theestreen]

The fly, unlike a lot of other animals they had morphed before, did not have an instant, deep-seated instinct to panic. In fact, for the most part even while being attacked the swift-winged creature didn't have any reaction except a "oh, better get out the way, then", which was mild under the circumstances. This meant that the fly was easy to control. This also meant that the mind-skittering panic Cassie was feeling had everything to do with her own instinct and nothing to do with the fly. Luckily, this also meant that she could take some attention off being a fly and instead devote it to not completely falling apart in a very embarrassing and more than exasperating way. This was, theoretically, no more dangerous than anything they'd done in the past. But Cassie was terrified. Terrified they'd get caught, terrified one or more of them would get stuck in morph - even for the humans, that would be devastating - and terrified she'd let the Peace Movement down as well as her friends. Why had she thought this would be a good idea? Why had she promised to get mud for Mr Tidwell and Illim? This was crazy. This whole plan was insane. And if they failed, it would be one heck of a lot her fault. The Animorphs and the Peace Movement would both be cut into, and the overwhelming desire in her was just to make it stop. Cassie wanted to reach out and just make it stop; curl both parties away behind safety where none of her friends would ever be hurt again. She stayed silent as Marco talked to Mr Tidwell and Illim, not trusting herself to speak. The morph was done dispassionately - fly could only bring forth nightmares, not myths or pretty patterns - and then she was human and suddenly shaking at the knees. Pull yourself together, she told herself sternly. Or they will know just how terrified you are. And this was your plan.  Tucking her hands together to hide the shaking, she exited the stall and glanced at everyone. "And an extra baggie for Jake, please," she reminded Marco, glancing at Jake in silent reminder of the plan to get Illim some mud from the pool she'd told him about. She was hoping that when he scooped her back up he'd either be able to get some mud as well, or that during recon he'd find a way to slip some in the second bag. It was, after all, Jake - he found ways to do the impossible during meetings. Biting her lip, Cassie glanced at each of her friends, knowing how much all of them would hate this next part. One by one, she sent them silent apologies, ending with Ax because, somehow, he made her feel the most guilty. As soon as she laid eyes on him, she had the irrational desire to leap across to Jake and cover his eyes. "Ax," she blurted, eyes skittering away and embarrassment starting to rise. "You forgot to..." She shook her head, knowing it would just start an argument they didn't have time or enough un-frayed nerves for right then. Instead, she deftly stepped right in front of Ax's form, hiding it from everybody else's eyes and very deliberately not looking to see who'd been gawking. "Um, okay. Well... Should... I go first?" She'd been Yeerk before, after all. Never in front of them, but she supposed it might be somewhat soothing for her to show them it wasn't a difficult morph, per se. And that she didn't suddenly turn soul-sucking evil or anything.

Panic! At The (Pool) Party

[theestreen]

Cassie wrinkled her nose, trying not to let her dawning horror show on her face. If she ignored the possible implication, she could live down her word choice. “I don’t think I want to know. At all,” she said truthfully, raising her hands in a gesture of surrender. “Jake Berenson. That was almost poetic,” she laughed, imagining Andalite legs attached to the image of the horrific blended body in her head. “How much time did you spend thinking that one out?” she teased.

  “You take all things that come with obligation – you can’t pick and choose which bits you want,” Cassie teased. “I… don’t even know who I’d have to have a kid with to get Marco…” She laughed again at the bizarreness of the situation. “I’m sure he’d want it to be… whose the guy who plays Bond?” She shook her head. “Adopted. Definitely.”

  “Honestly?” Cassie’s laugh turned nervous as she pushed around a bit of food with her fork. “Just… continue being around. I’m sure the blushing will keep coming…” She snorted, tried to cover up the sound, and just ended up making a strange sort of noise, which she promptly had to stop herself from laughing at. “Please. Please don’t ever take lessons in complimenting from Marco. He just… No. You’re doing much better.” She looked away quickly at the words she hadn’t meant to admit, and quickly shoved another forkful of food in her mouth to cover up her slip. “Depends which bathroom. Usually it’s Best Kiss or Avoid at All Costs or Who Grew Hotter Over the Summer or Top Ten Overall Best or So and So is a Slut.” Cassie shrugged. “It’s very stereotypical in there.” She eyed him. “Why, what do guys write?”

  Cassie’s lips quirked.  “I’ve already gotten the talk from my parents about being out late at night with you. As long as I can prove Rachel and another group member were around, I should be okay.” She bit her lip. “But… I… I meant to ask… like… is… that what you want? I mean, to… do things that would… make parents suspicious… ‘Cause… we’re not… you know, normal. So we don’t have to… do the typical teenage thing or label it in any way or… I mean, I… We could just… be what we were. If you want.” She stared at her food and slowly moved it around to make patterns. 

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

There was enough left of a thirteen-year-old girl who viewed every aspect of the world except the obvious in black and white to make Cassie smile. Maybe, somewhere in some timeline, they'd missed the construction site altogether. Tom wasn't infested, Tobias still somehow became part of the group, they all grew as close as they were right then... 

The daydream was too flimsy to last. Jake was wrong, she decided. Friends they may have still become, but they would have drawn lines much clearer and less jagged. The war had turned them into a relationship most humans never got to experience, and none could put words to. Otherworldly. Desperate. Just as full as hate as it was compassion and love. And, layered beneath in a place nobody would talk about, full of the knowledge on how to use each other as pieces to win a chess game. 

Cassie continued to smile, deciding not to comment. The feeling curling in her gut was not something she could explain. It had been there when she'd spent time with Yami, and hadn't really gone away since. 

"You're the meaty bits, Big Jake," she teased, glad she hadn't slipped into calling him the abs, or something Rachel-esque. She really needed to learn her own lines and ways of flirting, she decided. Because right then she knew only how to flirt as wannabe-Rachel or by putting her foot in it. "Uh... so... our body has no legs?" she giggled, imagining Rachel's slim, tanned arms attached to Jake's body, Marco's head and Tobias' hawk eyes. And they thought mid-morph was a freaky thing to see. 

She ignored his question - there was no way they were talking weddings. Even jokingly. She'd been forced into adult headspace about too many things, and was afraid how that might make her view something as innocent as a teenage girl planning her wedding. Besides, even she knew that was the one ticket to scaring boys off. "You definitely have Rachel," she agreed. "And I'm totally reminding you of that statement next time you huff at Ax for calling your 'Prince'. But, fine, Ax is yours, too. Tobias and I... Well, he's my kid. Almost definitely. Marco... Is not." She grinned at him, wide and obviously kidding. "The adopted one?" she suggested of Marco. 

"How about we just save the over the top compliments?" she asked with a bemused look, wondering vaguely if he'd gotten tips from Marco. "Did I ever tell you Rachel paid him to... lavish compliments on me after she talked me into buying a new outfit that one time? I'm listening for repeats, Jake Berenson," she teased. "Beware the wrath of the girl's bathroom wall's lists."

Important. Something wriggled in her gut, and she took her time taking a few bites of frankly delicious pasta before answering, carefully and in control of whatever things she'd waned to blurt out at first. 

"Important? I mean..." She took a deep breath, and looked him in the eyes. "No pressure right now. But, all kidding aside... Jake, you know this is... that there's a reason our group is still careful to not be seen to close to each other. And we both have... people close to us, in some way that could... hurt the other. Very badly. If, you know, they were to say something to the wrong people." She held his gaze. "So... I need to know if... you know." She couldn't keep looking him in the eyes, feeling suddenly stupid and shy and mortified. "If it's... worth the risk. Or if we're just going to... continue to be non-dating, non-talking-about-it us."

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

Cassie wondered again about how things would have been without the war. Would her and Jake have been sneaking out to be together? Would they have kissed under different circumstances? Or would they never have progressed from blushing on bus rides beside each other? "We would have still been like this," she replied, firmly, because she wanted it to be true. She wanted this mismatched family of hers, and she wanted the boy sitting in front of her. "It's just that... with that Other Thing We're Not Talking About it's made us... more intense. I mean, I was best friends for Rachel for forever and I'd never seen her..." Rip out somebody's throat while cheering. "We're... a lot more intense. A lot of us that never would have been opened up has been laid bare and... and... matured. And, Jake, you're... Well, we're all kinda one big body. Different parts to one machine. We have to be; we have to all have our parts or we'd... Disintegrate. And you're... you're the centre. The pillar. You're what we're all tied to."

"Terrible? I..." She caught herself before she could blurt what she'd been about to blurt, averting her eyes and trying not to think of the times she'd scrawled Cassie Berenson on her school notes. "I'm not taking Marco. Marco is not my kid. Him and Rachel are all yours. Tobias and Ax belong to me. And you know that's the way it is."

Cassie giggled. "Should I be worried, Jake Berenson? Here I was, plotting with Rachel how to dispose of Brittany and Co, and meanwhile the threat is actually right in front of my nose." She shook her head, still amused. "Like I said- humans are weird. But I don't think I'm smarter than you." Her forehead wrinkled. "What does that even mean anyway? What's the scale based on?"

Her grin was warm and mouth-aching as he prayed, feeling how his fingers twitched nervously beneath hers. He could face down the approximation of Satan, her Jake, and still be this. She prayed, to whomever was listening, that he'd keep the balance once this was all over. She had no disillusions that he'd return to Old Jake, but just as long as he was able to be both - both the tiger and the dog, both the general and the awkward, too-big schoolboy - she'd take it. 

"I guess we should listen to our parents more, then, huh?" She had to struggle to swallow her next bite, staring at him with slightly accusing eyes. "Do you time those to be at the worst possible moment? Didn't Rachel explain that you're supposed to give the over-the-top compliments when there's no risk of the girl spitting up her food or doing any other activity to make her look the fool? Or did you take advice from Ax and Marco?"

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

“Nobody, that’s the whole point,” she agreed with a grin. Then Cassie shook her head, firmly. “You don’t see it, Jake, but you’re…” She broke off, hesitated, then forced a grin. “But we’re not talking about that, right?” He didn’t need reminding, she was sure, how important he was to their survival. Certainly didn’t need her cementing the fact that he was more than just facilitator; that without them they’d collapse. She remembered the look in his eyes when he told her he couldn’t afford to be afraid for their sakes, after all. She jerked out of her reverie by his words, gaping at him as, in the back of her mind, half-formed fantasies again began to surface. “N…No, I just meant, you know, talking about separate children. Like… two parents… conversing… over… um….” She trailed off, looking at him, trying to will herself not to say something dumb like I’d love to be married to you, Jake Berenson.

“You sure Marco isn’t your celebrity crush?” she joked weakly, trying to pull the conversation out of the awkward depth it was digging itself into. “I know. Jake, I know that they… want to possess her. And I know I don’t want that. And I know it’s… kinda the same as loving famous people for how they look or how they sing or whatever. But it’s still…” She tugged at her hair, self-consciously, and then brought it up as evidence.  “I’m still stupidly human, still stupidly swayed by movies and advertisements and… and… hormones, I suppose. I know I don’t want it, but I do.” She gave him a half smile. “I sewed somebody else’s hair onto my head to look good for a wedding. That should… pretty much sum it up.” Her laugh was genuine. “Girls are weird. Humans are weird. That’s all it really boils down to.”

Cassie grinned along with him, caught up in his game of playing along. “It kind of… scrunches. Like a turtle face. Especially one side of his nose. Kinda… like a distrustful puppy,” she teased. “He’s very talented in dying in video games. And… getting an orange spherical object into a high, round object.” She winced. “Rachel tried to explain it to me, but she hasn’t got a lot of interest in basketball so her sarcasm didn’t help matters. I tried.”

“A wolf and a dog sharing pasta? Nobody would suspect a thing,” she giggled, gripping his hands tighter. It felt even more right, to be holding his hands like that. More powerful. And it suddenly hit her what they were doing – connecting, in public, over things normal humans connected over. She grinned wider. “Would you do the honours?” she asked.

“How’s yours?” She grinned around her second forkful. “Because I’m pretty sure you’re missing out – this is amazing.” 

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

"I... wouldn't call it bad." Cassie paused, tracing her finger along the rim of the salt shaker, trying to figure out how much she could say without pulling things back into the Forbidden Territory of that evening. "The humour and joking and... weirdness... we have is... needed. It really is. But it also has to stop. And you... you keep it in line. Keep us in line. Make all the little pieces work together." She smiled at him reassuringly. "Somebody has to be the parent." She touched the back of his hand. "It's a good thing about you. And... since I've been told I mom you guys too much, we could... form a club? Complain about our crazy kids?" She put on a posh voice. "Oh, mine's reached the Perpetually Stuck As A Bird phase. Teenagers."

Cassie laughed and shook her head. "They don't like me, like me. They... well, they think I'm cool 'cause I like what they like." She ducked her head, embarrassed. "And I think they're cool, 'cause they're into bits of biology I just don't get, and all that. But when guys like Rachel... It's not that I want it," she clarified, quickly, "not at all. But I was talking about the way they... worship her. Like she..." She remembered a phrase, suddenly, and had to look away as she used it. "Like she hung the stars."

Her next laugh was slightly breathless in relief that her words had been treated so calmly. "Well. He's certainly got talents with animals no normal person you've ever seen before has. Anvc bd a really funny concentration face."

She squeezed his hands back, feeling something making its way from the ball of lead in her stomach until it stuck in her throat. Relief. Gratefulness. Embarrassment. A little anger at the world - the type Rachel spoke of. Love. Yeah, that was there. And for once, she wasn't going to hide it. Her lips quirked, but before she could think of what to say, they were having food placed before them. "Oh. Thank you," she said hurriedly. Grinning at Jake again, she tried for a light mood. "So this is the part in The Lady and the Tramp when the song starts, huh?"

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

Whatever response Cassie had expected to her teasing, that definitely hadn’t been it. Prettiest girl he knew? Even with girls like Brittany and Allison and Gemma at school? Even though he was related to Rachel? She didn’t buy that – couldn’t compute short, chubby, awkward, fashion-impaired her with prettiest girl. So she just ducked her head away and swallowed and fished for a reply that wasn’t calling him a liar, and was very relieved when he moved on to the next topic.

“Playing it safe it is. I’m very happy with playing it safe.” She played with the hem of her shirt, trying and failing to hide the smile twitching at her lips. “Whatever you think is best, Dad.”

“Is this you speaking from personal experience, or because you’re friends with Marco?” Cassie laughed, grinning widely at him. Then she shook her head. “If by ‘bunch’ you mean ‘five who either do biology with me or who really want to be vets one day and love my dad to bits’ then you’re completely right.” Cassie rolled her eyes. “Again: somehow, I think I’ll manage to keep myself from falling in love with Marco,” she said, dryly. I-“He kept catching her off guard, that evening. Kept crossing the lines they usually drew so clearly in the sand. Sure, they were on a date but this was Jake and the two of them… spoke in code. In touchTitle: Bella Nottees and looks and subtle hints. Never outright, like this. She kept getting completely thrown by him being a different Jake than the one she was used to, now.

The Jake she’d fallen for, mixed with a bit of confidence the war had forced out of him.

She… she didn’t dislike it, per se.

“Um… Hmmm…” Cassie’s pretence of thinking wasn’t so much a pretence; she was fishing for just the right thing to say – just the right thing not to ruin everything. “I don’t actually think that awkward, gangly guy has much of a chance. I’m already kinda crushing on some other guy. And he’s… he’s awesome enough to be a really big threat to anybody else.”

She blushed hard enough for the red to seen through even her skin, sinking as low in her chair as possible. She felt so stupid for asking that question; for drawing attention to it. She felt stupid and insecure and guilty and wished she could swallow up the last few moments and spit out something better with their remains. “Okay,” she whispered. “Um… thanks…” She forced herself to look up. “Really. Thanks.”

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

Cassie laughed out loud at him before turning and placing both hands on her hips, peering up at him with an amused tilt to her eyebrows. “Who said I liked you all that much, Jake Berenson?” she teased right back, matching his tongue gesture with her own, hers complete with cross-eyes.

“Well. It’s only fair we harp on you to keep you in line after all the times you Dad us,” Cassie replied gently, resisting the urge to reach out and touch his face again. She just wanted to map the entire plane of his face, and smooth out the lines of worry and fear she could imagine all too well. Despite being mortified within an inch of her life already, Jake’s comment about the hug and the pretty outfit still made her flush a little. “Rachel would kill you,” she agreed solemnly. “She views this” – she indicated herself – “as one of her greatest achievements this year. So perhaps we should just stay safe and keep it a la mode.”

Cassie dropped her eyes to the table and traced an old stain in the wood, trying to sort through the jumble of emotions Jake’s words had caused to flare up. A little bit of the mix in her stomach was hurt; she didn’t need to be reminded she was terrible at talking to guys, let alone ones who mingled with the crowd Jake did. “I said see,” she clarified. “Not interact with. I’m best friends with Rachel – she draws guys like the world’s biggest magnet. They don’t actually pay attention to me, but I hover on the sidelines and watch and listen.” Her lips pulled into an automatic smile at his teasing, and she was finally able to bring herself to look up at him again. “I assure you – as much as Marco is convinced he’s going to be rich and astoundingly famous one day, he’s not my celebrity crush.” And then Cassie had to drop her eyes again. “Jeremy Jason McCole was a… a… he wasn’t very nice at all.”

Cassie forced herself to take a deep breath, count to eight, and ignore the meaning Jake’s words could have had. “We’ll make a plan to do – to, um, dub movies.” She cocked her head to the side. “I’m trying to decide whether to stay away from movies that include people turning into animals, or whether it’ll be therapeutic to mock them. And Ax has learned enough phrases from These Messages to contribute human dialogue. Besides; maybe it’ll help him slowly learn to… blend in… more… It can’t be good for him learning only from Marco’s sense of humour.”

In glancing up at the waitress as she walked away, Cassie caught the eyes of an older couple sitting a few tables away. They were eyeballing her, and for a second of sickening panic all she could think of was that they were Controllers, and they’d overheard something, and her and Jake were screwed. And then she recognised their glares and saw what they were upset about – the man looked like he’d swallowed lemons – and she relaxed somewhat. Funny, how the war had changed what she got upset about. Maybe she should be more upset about it. If they were really pretending the war didn't exist, then maybe she should act like she cared more about things that seemed trivial when your hands were leaking the blood of those you slaughtered.

Maybe Jake should care a little more. She bit her lip, wondering suddenly if he would have worried, had he not been the leader of earth's only resistance. If he was just Jake the boy, using that drive inherent in him to be responsible and worthy of those he loved, would they ever have made it past the stage of awkward bus rides? And how much of their stagnation had been because of people who moved tables because of the sight of them? “Does it bug you, sometimes?” she blurted out, watching the couple shift to another seat, where they wouldn’t have to look at her and Jake. “That I’m…” She chickened out. “A vegetarian?”

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

"You're apologising because you think I apologised with I shouldn't have? You're sorry because you won't let me be sorry?" Cassie tried, but couldn't keep her straight face and serious tone. So instead she tickled Jake's ribs teasingly. "Well, I'm sorry, Mr Berenson, but I don't accept your sorry for not accepting my sorry."

His words about another date sent her head into fantasy land. Another night out, this one less awkward because they'd done it before and knew the rhythms. Knew how to act. Like the second time you slip into a morph. And it would only get easier, she knew. And after the war, they could -

She stopped herself forcefully. It was never a good idea to count your chickens before you were even sure you had eggs. "Well... if nothing else, everybody deserves a second chance," she hedged fairly, trying not to blush again. 

"Oh, you do not want to watch one of those. Somehow my parents got convinced it was a good way to teach kids about the 'big scary life things' and... they're quite strange. I think even they realised they were terrible because they haven't pulled them out ever again. Even when they sat me down to have the 'are you having a teenage rebel phase' talk."

She grinned shyly back, ready to leave his talk about the angel at that. But something made her mouth open - maybe Rachel's coaching had a stronger influence on her than she realised - and take it further. "What Marco and Rachel don't know won't hurt them."

"I can't say I've heard about that," Cassie admitted. "But then, I don't really pay attention to that section of the papers. It sounds really interesting. I'm in," she grinned. "I hope ghost stories make a comeback in movies. I loved Casper."

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

"Oh. Right. Yeah, sure, of course. I'm... sorry. I'm..." Cassie wanted to shrink into herself. The one thing she'd been trying to avoid letting Jake do, and she'd been the one flogging that donkey to the point where he asked if they could stop. She took a deep breath and tried to work up the courage to look at him in the eyes again, shame weighing her head down. "Consider us two normal, dorky teenagers who have nothing more to worry about except if we'll make fools of ourselves tonight," she said, forcing her tone to one of lightness. 

"Well... my dad seems to think we're going to run off and become the poster children for After School Special movies." It amused her, that that was what her dad was worried she was out doing. But... she'd promised not to mention the war. So instead she grinned and nudged his foot again and said, "Next time we need to give you an intervention, I'm showing up in your bedroom in full angel-lookalike." Thinking about it reminded her of the look of awe in his eyes when she'd first morphed back all of her except her Osprey wings. Her stomach fluttered - getting that reaction again was not... a bad thing. 

"Weird to think, huh?" She purposefully didn't mention the sleeping thing - no shadow of the war was coming with them, tonight. "Can you imagine which movie you want to see, yet?" she teased. 

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

Cassie gave him a wan smile. "Killing the Visser would be the preferable outcome," she agreed, ignoring the small part of twelve-year-old her that recoiled in horror at the notion of her calmly contemplating killing another being. "But... it's already... such a big thing getting Alloran out. I don't think... I don't want to dream it could happen in case I... jinx it?" She pushed her hair behind her shoulder again. "I believe this war is going to end, but I don't want to dream up specifics. Just..." She shrugged and looked away. 

Because I don't want to admit to myself that we'll have to spill a riverbed of blood in order to get a hold on victory. 

Somehow, Cassie managed a smile at him. "You couldn't. Corrupt me, I mean. You'd have to be... corrupt in order to do that." She stared at the salt and pepper shakers intently so she could avoid his eyes. Would it be so bad if he wasn't so good? If he was one of those popular boys who slung possessive, beefy arms over their girls and kissed on the first date and -

Stop it, Cassie. They're jerks and you know it. Stop. 

"The wedding was the first time we'd been to any kind of service in... about a year?" She grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "But... yeah. Marcy is thought to be the Mother of God, because she gave birth to Jesus and Jesus is God. And there's the Immaculate Conception - the belief that although she was born and conceived normally she was born out of sin - protected from it by God so she could one day give birth to Jesus." Another shrug. "I just... she would have been thirteen, when she married Joseph. That's as old as we were when this all started. And I just... even taking away the claims that Jesus was God's Son, he was Mary's, Imagine watching your son be crucified..." She shook her head. 

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

Mortification rose like a tidal wave at Jake's offhand mention of taking it to Rachel. Frantically, Cassie started making a hundred pleas, bargains and threats to deliver to her best friend should Jake make good on his word. Because if Rachel was asked, Cassie couldn't guarantee she wouldn't take the exasperated "she's in love with you, you idiot, now go kiss her" approach. There wasn't anything bad about Jake kissing her, really (at all). It was just... it was like the times they'd kissed during or after battle. The actions seemed forced by outside circumstances; seemed just that much less real because of why they were happening. 

She wanted to be the one to tell Jake she loved him. And she wanted Jake to kiss her because he wanted to. Not because they almost died. Not because his cousin had told him to. Not because he thought he should not to hurt her feelings. She was so used to Jake taking the lead that she wanted it, selfishly, for this as well 

"Yeah. Him and Alloran." She thought of the Andalite - the Abomination - and all he'd done. And hoped one day, whatever happened, that there would be those who thought the Animorphs were worth saving, despite their sins. "Alloran... it's not only the right thing to do, but the Visser without a morphing host... that will definitely help, right?" She wondered if Alloran's family would be happy if he returned to them. 

"How would you corrupt me, Mr Berenson?" A moment after the words left her mouth, she realsed the potential innuendo and wanted to hide herself beneath the table. Oh, deer Ellimist. Rachel and Marco would have an absolute week of laughter if they ever heard about this. She sincerely hoped they had been joking and that they were not actually following them because it was more than bad enough it had to be Jake subjected to her free-running mouth. "Um... And Mary? Catholics are real big about the Holy Mother," she spluttered quickly, hoping to cover up her unintended question. "Yeah, Rachel once told me she'd sooner leave the family than give up bacon so I assumed you guys were about as Jewish as we are Catholic."

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

"Yeah." Cassie laughed softly. "Definitely a girl thing." This silly girl, anyway. Nice going, Cassie. 

She was quiet for a long moment, thinking of the team and their families. What Ax had risked to contact his parents again. Marco and his mom and dad and the mess that was their life. And Jake and Tom. But wasn't that usually how wars went? The innocent were the most hurt. And if they weren't, then they were no longer innocent. 

"Jake?" she said quietly, stopping and looking him directly in the eyes. "We're getting Tom back, okay? We're getting Tom back."

"To be honest, I mostly remember the generic Bible stories," she said with an embarrassed shrug. "But I like your analogy. Good kicks butt," she grinned. Her foot nudged his under the table. "Look at you. First date, and I'm already being corrupted by the Jewish boy," she winked. 

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

"N... no... Sorry, I just... thought of..." She really had to get better about this lying on the spot thing. Marco was right - her inability to lie quickly would get them all killed one day. "Um... something... I f... forgot to tell Rachel. It's... not important..." 

And it wasn't. Because he'd said those words without thinking about it. Just a figure of speech - Rachel used it, too. And heaven knew they were all picking things up from each other. Her gut burned with shame and disappointment she knew was stupid, but couldn't stop anyway. 

"Yeah, I suppose everything gets a little easier to bear the more times you face it," she mumbled, her brain automatically sliding away from the safe discussions about pop culture to the darker alleys she'd been trying to hard to get them to avoid. "And, unfortunately, that happens with the good stuff, too. Like... This war is terrible. Beyond terrible. But it... Before it, I didn't think to tell my parents I loved them as much as I could, you know? Because it was just... taken for granted. And..." She stilled, felt his hand in hers, and took the plunge before reason could kick in. "I mean, there was this guy who sometimes sat next to me on the bus but we had all the time in the world, you know? No need to actually try anything... And..." She looked at him. Tried to force a smile. "I'll thank the Yeerks for a few things, indirectly. Getting to know you better? That's one of them."

Cassie laughed at Jake again and then pursed her lips. "Actually... that's a fair point. I mean, my grandparents always talk about angels protecting you. But whenever it's about bad stuff, it's always 'the devil' who will lead you astray. I dunno. Maybe Satan just doesn't have any friends, so he has to do the job himself." Her hand clapped over her mouth a second later, and she looked at him with wide eyes. "Please don't ever let my grandparents or my aunts know I just said that."

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

"Hey, I just live here," Cassie laughed. "I certainly didn't make up th-" 

"You know that I love you." She felt like her whole world had suddenly ground to a halt, like the earth was no longer under her feet and the sky was no longer full of oxygen. "I love you." They'd never... She'd thought and definitely hoped that it was just something unspoken but... She tried to shake herself; tried to remember that it was just a phrase and he meant it but not like that. Not like he was actually saying it to her, right there at the beginning of their first date. She tried, but her heart still hammered like an entire brass band once it started up again. 

"You know that I love you." 

And the way he was stroking her hand was not helping her remain rational at all. "Right! Harry Potter!" she said, snatching at the conversation she'd lost track of when her insides had disappeared on her. "And there's magic, which is really cool. Except... Harry's parents kinda died, and they weren't bad people. But that has to happen to every hero, doesn't it? In stories, I mean," she added quickly. "You and Marco always say the superheroes lose their parents?" She pulled a face. "That's actually kind of... sad..." 

She thought she'd gotten the upper hand - gotten herself under control and able to function - when all of a sudden Jake took her joke and turned it on its head. And once again she was left gobsmacked, speechless, and so red she was sure she was glowing. "Is Marco the devil?" was all she could say, and even then the words came out stammered and twisted. She wasn't going to make it through this date. Either she'd combust, do something incredibly stupid or lose all sense of sanity and just fling herself on him and kiss him, like she had on that darn planet. 

Bella Notte || Cassie/Jake

[theestreen]

"Yeah, well, we all know how sane and fair the universe is," Cassie muttered. She wondered, as she had many times before, how much power the two warring gods had over their lives. And she wondered if there was anything stronger than the Ellimist and Crayak. Would the God her family half-served let things like that exist? Or was everything she loved - her whole life - just an unimportant circumstance of a game? 

Tobias' words made her blush automatically, and she was glad for her darker skin. "I have no idea what you're insinuating," she said primly, flicking her hair the same way Rachel did when she was flustered and trying not to show it just to make Tobias laugh. 

"You know, until this all started I never really saw them as cousins. I mean, I knew they were related but you'd never say so. And now... I guess... I guess you're right - blood is a strong thing." She chewed her lip and glanced at him a little shyly. "Do you feel that with Ax? Like there's... not an obligation but something... deeper?"

"Anchors. That's a really great way of putting it, yeah. We'll all just... rein each other in. We're all tied to each other, anyway." What Cassie didn't say was how she saw them all tethered more around Jake than anything else. How he was the centre despite ever planning to be. How she doubted that they would be able to do anything for each other if Jake didn't hold. She hoped - seriously hoped - it was only her feelings for Jake that made her view things that way. 

"Drawing?" Her grin was genuine. "Tobias, that's so great! And, wow, you will have had lots of different views and perceptions to help out with that... That's going to be amazing."

Makin' A Plan || Tobias & Cassie

[theestreen]

Did Yeerks like to be petted? Cassie could feel Illim trembling in her gentle hold, and her first instinct was to sooth him in some way. It made her mouth dry being faced with such a stark reminder that the cool figure she now associated trust and ally power with could be reduced to...

Hesitantly, she ran a thumb over Illim twice - if it didn't help anything, then at least he only had to endure her touch for a short while. She hoped he realised her intentions were pure. 

"Okay," she said, a little too brightly. "Tobias?" 

She waited until he was perched on her shoulder before she opened her hands to expose Illim a bit more. His talons were so sharp as they extended toward the trembling Yeerk, and she wanted to beg him to be careful. But this was Tobias - she needn't have worried quite so much. Cassie did, however, put a warning look in her eyes as she advanced on Marco. Not enough to be rude, but just enough to remind him to keep his attacks purely verbal. 

As soon as Marco was done, she gave a quick glance in Jake's direction before heading back to Mr Tidwell and handing his Yeerk back. "Thank you," she said after she was sure Illim was back in control. "Both of you. We do appreciate the help." Cassie gave another glance at Jake, reading his face for orders automatically even as she offered, "I could walk you back to your car, if you want? The woods are easy to get lost in and the others need to go in the opposite direction." Hopefully everybody would get the hint. 

Do or Die || Animorphs/Illim & Lance