m0ose-idiot - Tumblr blog

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[m0ose-idiot]

They say you die three times, first when the body dies, second, when your body enters the grave, and third, when your name is spoken for the last time. You were a normal person in life, but hundreds of years later, you still haven’t had your “third” death. You decide to find out why.

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I made a thing...

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I HATE THEATER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Got blank nesting/matryoshka dolls for Christmas and decided to Pratchett them! Then Granny Weatherwax looked weird without a hat, so I had to make that too 😆

Granny Weatherwax / Nanny Ogg & Greebo / Tiffany Aching / Nac Mac Feegle / Horace the Cheese

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POINT AND LAUGH

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After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:

“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”

Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.

“Ow!”

“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”

“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”

The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.

“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”

She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.

“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”

The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.

“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.

“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”

“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”

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birthday cake for my 15 year old who has not stopped saying this phrase since they first watched the episode

(the egg is a gummy candy)

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alison and mike get on very well because they're great at communicating and they genuinely like each other and the only major difference between them is that most of mike's ideas are stupid whereas most of alison's are illegal

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how?? just how?

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Brooklyn Nine Nine (2013-2021) Halloveen (S05E04)

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No one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away—until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone’s life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.

–“Reaper Man”

‘Haven’t you ever heard the saying “Man’s not dead while his name is still spoken”?’

–”Going Postal”

People will always remember the songs he never had the chance to sing.   And they will be the greatest songs of all. Live your life in a moment. And then live forever.  Don’t fade away.

–“Soul Music”

Terry Pratchett 4/28/48-3/12/15-GNU

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i wonder what heather button's life was like. oh yes there's the creepy stuffed dog my grandmother owned? should i throw it out? [sudden and inexplicable sense of extreme dread] no, never mind, just make sure to keep it in the attic somewhere...

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This little asshole keeps getting into a bird feeder, so we need to test how small is *too* small

3 inch opening: no problem

2.75 inch opening: Easy

2.5 inch opening: doing fine

2.25 inch opening: Bit of a struggle, but as Mr Meeseeks says: CAAAN DOO!

2 inch opening: Alright, lets try chewing the opening a bit, As long as we get the nuts into the mouth (huhuhu) we good I guess…

Uh-oh… Steve is getting greedy

:insert grunts of effort here:

Taking a break…

The guy who made the original video decided after a long struggle to help Steve out.

A New Challenger approaches!

1.75 inchs: Quote Mr Meseeks: “OOOHHH HE’S TRYING”

GIMME GIMME GIMME

He ends up giving up.

Source: Chris Notap - Squirrel ● literally ● bites off more than he can chew ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4ach0CwN4

via imgur

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