thegnomelord - Tumblr blog

[thegnomelord]

Jesus could hit tbh

I have no idea if if you're saying that the Jesussy would be next level or if Jesus would punch me for even bringing it up lol :D Either way, gonna be one interesting conversation lol

[thegnomelord]

the demon hunter reader with demon ghost getting maried and not being able to hurt eachother and just ending up lovingly caressing eachother everytime one of them attacks is just

And you know that shit would annoy both of them SOOOo fucking much. And you can bet your ass Soap or Gaz, both demons too, would have so much fun out of the situation.

Like for obvious reasons it would be so funny when even a small argument has reader and Ghost trying to kill the other on pure instinct only to end up on the floor looking like they're about to make out or fuck just when someone walks in. I can just imagine Ghost trying with all his might to gore your eye out but all his hand does is cup your cheek, thumb brushing your skin and never letting the sharp claw touch your eye, all the while he's just going "I hate you so much." because he has no other way to express it :D

But also I think Demon Simon finds like, gentle violence like play fighting or gently cutting your skin and drinking blood as a way to express endearment and love. So when the feelsTM finally show he gets more pissed because he can't show it and starts thinking that what he is feeling is just a delusion brought on by the soul bond marriage thingy

[thegnomelord]

Cuthulu

Cuthussy

- 📻

You know, sometimes I start thinking about how, if there is a god and I will be judged by my actions when I'm dead, that I will need to explain the fucking godussy... and idk how I'll go about it

At least we're not thinking about a Jesussy yet - of fuck now I'm thinking about it

[thegnomelord]

SCREAMS

I do not wanna be snack :(

-🦓

Don't worry zebra, I won't let you be eaten, but you are a snack :3

[thegnomelord]

*TWEAKS* LET ME OUT...

- 🐯

Hehehhe no, take your punishment like a good kitten and maybe when you're done trying to eat everything like Henry the hoover I'll let you out.

[thegnomelord]

The option c of demon hunter and demon ghost getting married by mistake remind me od a movie on netflix i watched before

A cop pick up a red envelope on ground making him doomed to either marry ghost of dude or back luck forever so he end up going through marriage ritual to get rid of bad luck and all pf a sudden BOOM ghost dude stuck to him all time it was not a joke he married man but both of em didn't want it and big misconception happend in ritual ( basically they ask ghost if they like chosen groom using rocks ghost can move and rock accidentally moved a bit much so went from no to yes ) it was hilarious plot

Dude YES that's the exact type of misunderstanding that I was talking about. Like the worshippers are going like "oh prince of darkness do you desire a sacrifice?" while Ghost is invisible and just having a laugh at these foolish humans, when they don't get a response they go "Do you wish for a bride?" and Ghost just accidentally knocks a candle down with his tail or bumps his dump truck ass into a door making it close.

So the followers just shrug their shoulders and go find the first person to be Ghost's bride, aka the homicidal demon hunter that is the reader, and promptly 'wed' them through a ritual they got off bing and instead of giving your soul to Ghost, it instead binds you two together.

The ritual forces Ghost to appear right in front of you, and with the adrenaline rushing through your system you blindly throw a punch in Ghost's face your arm gives out mid way through as if denying you the violence you want to commit and instead you end up gently caressing the demonic skull that is his face.

Ghost tries to use his claws to slash your throat open, but the same happens to him and he ends up gently cupping your head like a lover would, neither of you able to hurt the other.

And both of you are just like HUH?????

[thegnomelord]

any time i talk about the crab god (a story for a different time) someone always says cuthulu...he's a bloody octopus right?? like, im not just imagining a giant creature with tentacles...

anyways, since there seems to be some correlation between crabs and cuthulu, i apologise for whatever my third cousin 16 times removed has done.

-🦀

Idk, Chtulhu is a mix of different parts, like wings of a dragon, body of a man, head of a squid and stuff like that. Also side note, Davy Jones in Potc is is half octopus half crab so is Davy Jones some kind of love baby between the crab god and chtulhu?

[thegnomelord]

Omg what is yr a03 acc handle?

Inferno_The_Dragon_Lord is my acc on AO3, yes it's a fucking cringy one that I made when I was like, 14 or something? Idk I was edgy like that

[thegnomelord]

♥️ love train! send this to all the blogs you love! don’t forget to spread the love! ♥️

(Hehe i send it right back at you :>)

Thanks dude :Dd

[thegnomelord]

Makarov hunts us down for our cure, huh? Boy, he’s got another thing coming. 😉

Ooooh Makarov is definitely gonna be surprised when he finds out he literally has a fuck or die scenarion where he either gets creamed or becomes a homicidal mushroom 💀👀

[thegnomelord]

Chomp

- 🦈

(Chutulu? You fucked my lil bro? Daum man. I mean we arent directly related but Ive seen em grow...

Daum im old.

Eh, You're less bloody. I shall give you forehead kisses for dealing with his cults bulshit. , as well as his. Mwah.)

Whelp this is becoming quite an awkward family reunion... but thanks for the kisses :D

[thegnomelord]

i’m not the only one who was head over heels for davy jones??! you get me, boo ;)

Dude you are not alone! I love the complexity of his character and just the fucking bravado and confidence mixed with no shits given attitude when he was just standing in a bucket on land and had a trail of buckets leading to the sea was just UGH!

He was the first 'monster' I ever wanted to fuck

[thegnomelord]

....*side-eyes 🦓 anon* you look tasty...

- 🐯

Alright I'm putting you in naughty kitten jail

[thegnomelord]

Oh my gosh love the Eldritch aesthetic aghh 😩 literally one of my fav aesthetics it's just such a thing to me. I have a perpetual fear of eyes but also find them so coll yk???

The dream was like super weird. It was about my old health teacher in highschool whom I may have had like a tiny crush on because he had like the broadest shoulders, biggest pecs and the sluttiest little waist with the pretty muscular thighs omg

But anyways, I had a dream where I could turn into a wolf at will like werewolf situation but my septum piercing carried over into my wolf form and in the dream I ran behind my old highschool and transformed so I could run to the plaza across the street where there was a dollar general, and I ended up running in front of his car. So I went and got a monster and shit from the dollar general and then I woke up, drank some water and passed back out and the dream continued except I was in gym because he doubled as my gym and health teacher and he like dragged me out of class. In my gym one of the doors in the back led to the back of the school by his office n shit so he like trapped me in there and said "your piercing gave you away" and like pinned me against a wall. Anyways, it proceeded into smut and I woke up with some wet pants lemme tell ya it was BAD

Yeah it's cuz I thinks he's like the biggest baddest fucker so I wanna spite him with it because he thinks I'm too much of a sissy to handle the pain or to go against him in any way. I wanted to get the same tattoo he has on his back bc I use to admire him, but not no more

Anyways, won't hold ya up much longer

- 🪒

Okay yeah the dream is weird as fuck but also I can't say I haven't had weird smexy dreams before and your teacher defo sounds like the love interest you'd find in some BL novel lol

I love the eldrich or 'satanic' and dark imagery, even biblically accurate imagery I wanna get a tattoo of a neuron turned into a biblically accurate angel. Also I wanna get like a yassified babadook tattoo to spite my dad because I came out when we saw the movie poster in the lgbt category and he went on a tangent that pissed me off enough to come out of the closet lol

also no problem dude, I love talking to yall lol :D

[thegnomelord]

I'm sorry our relationships with Cthulhu were so vastly different T_T and I definitely get the Davy Jones love<3 he's so pookie.

Anyways, is 🥧 anon available:')?

Honestly idk what got and still gets me hot and bothered by the literal squid faced devil of the sea, but I just need him to grip me by the throat by his craw claw and call me names while he's bouncing on my cock...

Also sure thing! Though the fat man in me is now hungry for pie...

[thegnomelord]

Pussy, ussy, uzzy, bussy, manpussy, slimepussy, zussy, octopussy, now what? Pbszoussy???

Mate I don't even KNOW what Pbszoussy is and I don't want to

[thegnomelord]

i had such a weird dream last night. for some odd reason TF 141 and the mane 6 of my little pony were fighting a war over bubble tea before they stopped half way and played a game of Jepordy except the questions were about the last of us (i have no clue why i don't even play the game). and my brain decided to give ghost apple jacks voice, price got twilight, Gaz got rainbow, and soap got pinkies. and the ponies got their voices and it was so fucking cursed. at some point ghost acquired a coconut slush with grass jelly? and then they resumed the war before it ended. not because a side won, no. it was because derpy came out of nowhere, declared muffins to be the best then flew away. they stopped fighting over bubble tea and are now fighting derpy i think. i don't know what my brain was on.

Oooookay the characters switching voices is deffo cursed, like when fluttershy got a real deep voice in that one vid, no lie that had scared me when I was a kid and watched it lol.

Well whatever your brain was on, give me some, my exam is in a week and I would really use it lol :D