thegoofiestcryptid

[thegoofiestcryptid]

Chat I am not a soldier I made it to 2 o clock and fucking died

[thegoofiestcryptid]

y'all I'm trying to stay up until 6 am like FNAF so I can win on a bet I set up because I was bored

chat is this good for the bit

[thegoofiestcryptid]

holy moly cappybappys

Baby potato

[thegoofiestcryptid]

If you're lucky enough, you'll get both

guess who just got ✨dommed by the narrative✨✨✨

[thegoofiestcryptid]

"Let me begin to tell you how much I've grown to hate you."

A rough version of my A.M. My buddy heard my voice acting from back in the day and insisted I do part of the HATE monologue. This was a lot of fun.

[thegoofiestcryptid]

BTW that worldbuilding project I've just mentioned? This guy's a part of it.

This is Beef. He's a grand cave drake. Say hiiiii :)

A fine beefy lil man

[thegoofiestcryptid]

I've been working on a speculative evolution/fantasy project. Should I upload what I have so far here, or should I wait until I complete it some more? It's mostly dinosaurs, dragons, all of the good shit.

If you're interssted, here's the map of the setting this project is based on: The Neivrrealms. A plane of existence that mimics much of what Earth has or has had. It is also much bigger than Earth: around 20% larger. Things like the names and the "Dark Rift" might be explained later.

That is, if y'all are interested. >:)

[thegoofiestcryptid]

Been a bit but here are some dragons to fill in the void

[thegoofiestcryptid]

The boy

Thanks for taking the time to do my silly suggestion; it looks great! Your art is fantastic!

Acheroraptor temeryorum, a dromaeosaurid known from the latest Maastrichtian Hell Creek Formation of Montana, USA. They are one of the two geologically youngest known dromaeosaurids, the other being Dakotaraptor steini.

I'm back from my artblock! I won't be posting as often as before because of school, but I'll try my best to keep a schedule. For some reason this one looks like a juvenile to me and I didn't know how to fix that. I had a lot of fun drawing this though. The colours were based on Australian hobbies.

Thanks to @thegoofiestcryptid for the suggestion!

[thegoofiestcryptid]

What if I don't feel like speaking my feelings? What if I want to compress them all into a .zip file and throw them at you with the vigor one might throw a javelin?

...guys I have a new idea for an Olympic sport.

[thegoofiestcryptid]

This is Beef. He's a grand cave drake. Say hiiiii :)

A fine beefy lil man

[thegoofiestcryptid]

Finally. You all get to see the wonder of my revamped

GODZILLA DESIGN

(Also damn, y'all REALLY liked Shimo, huh?)

You may notice how sleek Goji is here. That's because, personally, chunky Goji doesn't really fit the 'king of the monsters' title, at least in my lore. But despite its uniqueness, you can still tell that it's Goji immediately, which is the way I wanted to go for him.

In my lore, Godzilla was originally smaller and skinnier, but the Castle Bravo tests used to kill him, which in my lore was a prototype Oxygen Destroyer, actually juiced him up a lot by complete accident, at his now approximate 410 foot height and 630 foot length.

I wanted to keep reptilian aspects, as well as amphibious ones, but I also wanted him to look somewhat mammalian as well. His nostrils are more diagonal across the nose, his chest is large, and his limbs are sleek. A perfect bulky, yet lithe build.

Now you can see the resemblance between him and Shimo; the exposed canines, the head shape, the spiked tail, the gills. Godzilla had earned his title as alpha kaiju, and he will protect his world and his title with his life.

God I love his design so much, I had so much fun with it.

Below is his original design, before I revamped him. Very Monsterverse-like, which I didn't really wanna go for, as well as a ton of unnecessary scars. Glad I changed it.

[thegoofiestcryptid]

Been a bit, and y'all really liked Hedorah, so I'll just go ahead and drop a

SHIMO DESIGN

I gotta say, I was...a bit disheartened by her design in the movie. For being a 'world-ender', she didn't really look the part. Just a big chilly iguana. So when I went in to redesign her, I wanted to show off how much of a threat she really was.

While sticking to the original design, I also took some inspiration from sauropods with the big trunk-like legs giving her a taller stance, as well as my own Godzilla design (which I would show, but it is currently being reworked), since, in my lore, their species are closely related. Shimo even has small gills. The crystals line her back and tail, but also line with and grow on her normal spikes.

Shimo is MASSIVE. Taller than even Ghidorah at 620 feet tall at the shoulder. Her steps are tremors, her tail is a blizzard wind, and her bite is that of an avalanche. Shimo is, in almost every sense of the word, a force of nature. She almost killed Godzilla and Kong in their battle, before the crystal controlling her was shattered by a stroke of luck. And that was when the Skar King got a taste of his own medicine.

She's also a lot more defensive than in the movie; when she kills the Skar King, she thanks Godzilla and Kong for their help, then DIPS. Just goes to fuck off in the middle of the ocean.

A true elemental threat.

[thegoofiestcryptid]

(Scarecrow's hideout's been discovered, and Robin's sent to do reconnaissance)

Robin, dropping down behind Scarecrow: "Hey, so I got a biology-"

Scarecrow: "AUGH, WHAT THE- how did you get in here?!"

Robin: "...I got a biology assignment, and I need your help."

Scarecrow: "...I-...kid, I'm a psychologist, I don't know anything about anatomy-"

Robin, hurriedly taking out a paper: "No no no, it's about, like, herbs."

Scarecrow: "Then why not go to Ivy, or literally anyone else?"

Robin: "'Cause it's about what kind of herbs do what kinds of effects on the human body. And considering your..." (looks behind Scarecrow at his tanks of fear toxin) "...profession, I thought you could help."

Scarecrow: "..."

Robin: "So, like, what kind of plant can ease motion sickness?"

Scarecrow: "...ginger."

Robin, pulling out a pencil: "See? Now, we're talking!"

Bruce's kids have definitely done homework on stakeouts and:

Robin: "I brought along this diagram of a leaf I'm supposed to make, and I was just wondering if you had any time to help me?"

Poison Ivy: "What are you talking about?"

Robin, pouting: "It's due tomorrow and I know I'm going to be here all night dealing with this. And I used to think botany was kind of boring, but it's kind of starting to grow on me--"

Ivy, reluctantly swayed: "Ugh, fine. So this first layer is the cuticle, followed by the epidermis--"

[thegoofiestcryptid]

Real shit, let's talk about

The Possum Man.

So there's a guy that appears in front of my local Rite-Aid every, like, two months or so, just sitting out front, relaxing. Now that's relatively normal, right? People do that all the time.

But he has a whole-ass American opossum with a little red collar. Just. Chilling on his shoulder. Sniffy nose and cute button eyes and everything. Just fucking chilling like a villain on this guy's shoulder, like he's royalty.

Funny enough, that's not the weirdest part. I'll get to that.

When people walk up to him to ask if they could get said small mammal, he doesn't say a damned word. Barely even blinks. Just smiles as confirmation. (Yes, I have pet the opposum before. Surprisingly scruffy.)

You wanna know the weirdest part?

Last time I saw him and interacted with him (meaning I gave the opposum scritches), I realized that I forgot my wallet before I went into Rite-Aid. So I rushed back to my house, snatched my wallet, said hi to my mom, around like 4-5 minutes tops (I live right on the street the Rite-Aid is, by the way). Keep in mind that this guy is...let's say, not exactly the most healthy looking plant in the crop. Pale skin and saggy eyes, even by my standards, and I rarely meet the sun with open arms. Also, maybe around early 40s.

I get back? Motherfucker is gone. No damn clue as to where he went. Disappeared.

And, like, I knew he couldn't have gone very far, but I asked one guy who had stayed around because he was on a call or something, idk. Asked him where the possum guy went. He didn't even notice he was gone.

Needless to say, I totally forgot to buy shit at Rite-Aid because of the utter confusion of the bizarre phenomenon I call the fucking POSSUM MAN.

TL:DR; Cryptids are real. They just don't look like cryptids; they come in the form of a middle-aged man with a possum.

[thegoofiestcryptid]

You guys seemed to like the last one (I think), so here's a

HEDORAH DESIGN

Similarly to Ghidorah, I wanted a mix between an alien abomination and a literal pile of garbage. He's not very different from the normal iterations of him, but some attributes make him stick out.

For one, the more natural parts of his biology. The claws and split mandibles are the main things that stick out here within the design. I wanted Hedorah to keep his bulky trash behemoth aspects, but also give him something to fight back with in close quarters (even if in my lore, he still retains his hedrium rays [less potent but still]).

The second thing is the body itself. Smokestacks trail intoxicating smog, and jagged pieced of metal stick out at awkward placed like a broken mace. This is because, in my lore, Hedorah is more mutant fungus than animal (even if he still has animal characteristics), and his body just grows around things like metal and structures. This is also why he's so impervious to damage: it just passes through or sink into his fungi exterior.

My favorite part is how he reminds me of a hermit, an ogre, or something else old and angry. He's still evil and wants to pollute the world, but he's cranky and takes no shit while doing it, almost comedically.

Also he's tall. Almost as tall as my Ghidorah.

God, I love making eldritch abominations.

[thegoofiestcryptid]

Should probably make a pin post for all my Tumblr necessities. Apparently that's how it works around here so here goes.

Call me Cryptid

I go by he/they/whatever the fuck you want I don't care

I am pansexual

My interests include Marvel, DC, Godzilla, dinosaurs, speculative evolution, FNAF, mythology, and eldritch abominations.

I do digital art, animations on DC2, creature sound design, and I very sparingly voice act as well (I don't have the proper equipment atm, so emphasis on VERY sparingly)

I have no idea how to draw 3/4th angles, but I do side profiles and front profiles really well (I hope)

I will totally yap for ages about anything goofy I like, so beware

Well, that's that.