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Fun Fact
The “We are the 99%” Tumblr blog became the slogan for the Occupy Wall Street movement.
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Beach Day with the Girlies
NT. WINGAERSHEEK BEACH - DAY
The sun shines brightly on Wingaersheek Beach, and the hags - Arden, Aoife, Gia - along with Sahin and Shiv, gather their beach essentials. They set up their colorful beach towels, umbrellas, and a cooler filled with snacks.
SHIV
(Adjusting her sunglasses)
Well, well, well, look who decided to grace us with his presence. Oliver Layboun, the Great Dane himself!
OLIVER LAYBOUN, a flamboyant figure with an uncanny resemblance to a young Donald Trump, emerges from the shadows. He carries a tray of egg-free mac and cheese, exuding an air of sophistication.
OLIVER
(With a theatrical flourish)
Greetings, my dear hags! I come bearing the gift of mac and cheese, fit for the kings and queens of Hagopia!
The hags exchange skeptical glances, but their curiosity gets the better of them as they dig into the cheesy goodness.
ARDEN
(Suspiciously)
Oliver, are you planning to colonize parts of Hagopia for Denmark with this mac and cheese?
OLIVER
(Chuckles)
My dear Arden, I assure you, it's just a culinary delight. No territorial ambitions here!
Suddenly, a flock of seagulls swoops down, drawn by the scent of the mac and cheese. Chaos ensues as the hags flail their arms, trying to fend off the hungry birds.
SAHIN
(Shouting)
We're under attack! Save the mac and cheese!
They scramble to protect the remaining mac and cheese, but the seagulls prove too persistent.
SHIV
(Dodging seagulls)
Well, I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be attacked by the seagulls of Wingaersheek. This is truly a beach adventure for the ages.
As they escape the seagull madness, the hags rush towards the ocean, thinking they are finally safe. But the sight that greets them is unexpected - a pod of angry porpoises surrounds them, their eyes filled with fury.
ARDEN
(In disbelief)
Oh no, not the porpoises again! Sahin, your previous encounter has come back to haunt us!
SAHIN
(Tears welling up)
I will be the human sacrifice for the greater good of the hags. It's the only way to appease the porpoises' wrath.
Before Sahin can act on her sacrificial offer, Aoife, with a mischievous grin, pushes her into the water.
AOIFE
(Laughing)
Sorry, Sahin, but I'm not letting you take one for the team. Plus, we could use a distraction!
Sahin splashes into the water, bewildered but unharmed. The hags burst into laughter, unable to contain their amusement.
SHIV
(Chuckles)
Well, Sahin, you always know how to make a dramatic entrance. Bravo!
Suddenly, Kendall Roy, the ominous figure from WayStar RoyCo, stands at the water's edge, staring out at the sea with a troubled expression.
KENDALL ROY
(Whispering)
The water... it's inescapable. It will consume us all.
The hags exchange puzzled glances before shrugging it off, returning to their beach antics.
The beach adventure continues with a coquette Lana Delray Pinterest Lolita vibe, as Shiv struts confidently in her bathing suit, catching the attention of onlookers.
The hags, Arden and Aoife, armed with their secret Oliver repellant made of raw eggs, manage to keep him at bay, ensuring their safety. Oliver accidentally slips, exclaiming "dick" instead of "dock," causing the hags to erupt into laughter.
Arden, despite her initial reluctance, starts to appreciate the beach, shedding her past memories with Lucky and embracing the joyous and silly moments with her friends.
FADE OUT.
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Boar on the Floor
INT. MICHAEL MURRAY'S 2023 RANGE ROVER - DAY
The hags, Arden, Aoife, and Gia, along with Shiv Roy, sit comfortably in the luxurious cream interior of Michael Murray's Range Rover. Sahin, being slightly excluded, sits in the backseat, her round figure fitting snugly against the seat.
Arden holds a large carton of True Moo chocolate milk, adorned with colorful drawings representing their sisterhood. She looks mischievously at Shiv, ready to pass it to her.
ARDEN
(With a sly smile)
Shiv, catch!
Shiv extends her hand to receive the carton, but both Arden and Shiv fumble, and the unity milk slips from their grasp, splashing ALL OVER the cream interior.
ARDEN
(Exasperated)
Oh my God, Shiv! Look what you've done!
SHIV
(Defensive)
Excuse you? You dropped it too, Arden!
AOIFE
(Chuckling)
Oh, look at that mess. I guess the unity milk isn't so united anymore.
GIA
(Smiling sarcastically)
Well, I guess this just became the new definition of sisterhood: ruining expensive car interiors together.
Sahin, ever the optimist, watches the chaos unfold, her eyes lighting up with anticipation.
SAHIN
(Excitedly)
Ooh, spilled chocolate milk! Don't mind if I do!
Sahin leans forward and starts DRINKING the spilled chocolate milk while making joyful animal grunts.
ARDEN
(Stifling a laugh)
Sahin, you do know that's meant for humans, right?
AOIFE
(Teasingly)
She's just embracing her inner wild animal, Arden. Let her have her moment.
SHIV
(Sarcastically)
Yeah, Sahin, make sure to lick every last drop off the seats. We wouldn't want any wasted chocolatey goodness.
They all burst into laughter, the tension from the spilled milk dissipating into genuine amusement.
GIA
(Playfully)
I can't believe we managed to turn a car ride into a chocolaty disaster. Only us, huh?
ARDEN
(Smiling)
That's what makes us the hags, right? Never a dull moment.
They all share a moment of camaraderie, Sahin happily slurping up the remaining chocolate milk.
SAHIN
(Content)
Unity milk or not, nothing can break our bond. Even when it's splattered all over a cream interior.
They drive off, Sahin's satisfied grunts harmonizing with the sound of the engine, as they continue their journey, forever bound by their quirky adventures and unbreakable sisterhood.
FADE OUT.
INT. WAYSTAR ROYCO OFFICES - DINING AREA - NIGHT
Arden, Aoife, Gia, and Shiv, along with Sahin, sit around a lavish dinner table in the WayStar RoyCo offices. The table is set with fine china, and a pristine white tablecloth adorns the surface. Aoife's father, PAUL, a stern and angry British man, joins them, looking rather annoyed.
Paul eyes the hags and Shiv, noticing chocolate milk stains on the tablecloth.
PAUL
(With a disapproving glare)
Bloody hell! What have you lot done to my tablecloth?
ARDEN
(Feigning innocence)
Oh, Paul, it's just a little spill. No need to get your knickers in a twist.
AOIFE
(Smiling)
Yeah, Dad, it's all in good fun. We were just enjoying some unity milk.
Paul's anger intensifies as he clenches his fist, but then he suddenly smirks.
PAUL
(In a mischievous tone)
Alright, you've done it now. We're playing Boar on the Floor!
Everyone exchanges confused glances.
GIA
(Whispering to Arden)
What on earth is Boar on the Floor?
ARDEN
(Whispering back)
I have no idea, but I have a feeling it's going to be ridiculous.
Suddenly, Sahin's eyes widen as she transforms into an actual boar, her round body covered in bristly fur. She begins gnawing at Paul's leg.
SAHIN (AS A BOAR)
(With a mouthful of pant leg)
Oink oink! Take that, Paul!
Shiv bursts into laughter, unable to contain herself.
SHIV
(Between laughs)
Now that's what I call taking dinner to a whole new level, Paul!
AOIFE
(Chuckling)
Seems like Sahin really embraced the role of the boar. Can't blame her for being method!
GIA
(Giggling)
I guess we should have known better than to spill anything around you, Paul. The consequences are truly wild.
Paul, still in shock, tries to maintain his composure.
PAUL
(With a mix of amusement and annoyance)
Well, I suppose that's one way to make a memorable dinner. Bloody hell, you hags!
Arden looks at Paul's teeth and raises an eyebrow.
ARDEN
(Grinning)
Paul, did you get Invisalign? Those teeth are positively CEO-worthy!
Paul, momentarily distracted, touches his teeth with a smirk.
PAUL
(Affirmatively)
You noticed, did you? CEO teeth for a Vice President, love. Gotta stay on top of the game!
They all share a hearty laugh, Sahin still chomping on Paul's leg in boar form.
FADE OUT.
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Chocolate Milk in the Range Rover
INT. MICHAEL MURRAY'S 2023 RANGE ROVER - DAY
The hags, Arden, Aoife, and Gia, along with Shiv Roy, sit comfortably in the luxurious cream interior of Michael Murray's Range Rover. Sahin, being slightly excluded, sits in the backseat, her round figure fitting snugly against the seat.
Arden holds a large carton of True Moo chocolate milk, adorned with colorful drawings representing their sisterhood. She looks mischievously at Shiv, ready to pass it to her.
ARDEN
(With a sly smile)
Shiv, catch!
Shiv extends her hand to receive the carton, but both Arden and Shiv fumble, and the unity milk slips from their grasp, splashing ALL OVER the cream interior.
ARDEN
(Exasperated)
Oh my God, Shiv! Look what you've done!
SHIV
(Defensive)
Excuse you? You dropped it too, Arden!
AOIFE
(Chuckling)
Oh, look at that mess. I guess the unity milk isn't so united anymore.
GIA
(Smiling sarcastically)
Well, I guess this just became the new definition of sisterhood: ruining expensive car interiors together.
Sahin, ever the optimist, watches the chaos unfold, her eyes lighting up with anticipation.
SAHIN
(Excitedly)
Ooh, spilled chocolate milk! Don't mind if I do!
Sahin leans forward and starts DRINKING the spilled chocolate milk while making joyful animal grunts.
ARDEN
(Stifling a laugh)
Sahin, you do know that's meant for humans, right?
AOIFE
(Teasingly)
She's just embracing her inner wild animal, Arden. Let her have her moment.
SHIV
(Sarcastically)
Yeah, Sahin, make sure to lick every last drop off the seats. We wouldn't want any wasted chocolatey goodness.
They all burst into laughter, the tension from the spilled milk dissipating into genuine amusement.
GIA
(Playfully)
I can't believe we managed to turn a car ride into a chocolaty disaster. Only us, huh?
ARDEN
(Smiling)
That's what makes us the hags, right? Never a dull moment.
They all share a moment of camaraderie, Sahin happily slurping up the remaining chocolate milk.
SAHIN
(Content)
Unity milk or not, nothing can break our bond. Even when it's splattered all over a cream interior.
They drive off, Sahin's satisfied grunts harmonizing with the sound of the engine, as they continue their journey, forever bound by their quirky adventures and unbreakable sisterhood.
FADE OUT.
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A dramatic face-off
KATE VS SAHIN
INT. COFFEE SHOP - DAY
Arden, Aoife, Shiv, Gia, Sahin, and the evil skinny twin, Kate, sit around a table, tension filling the air. Sahin's massive form looms over the others, while Kate exudes a sinister energy.
ARDEN
(dramatically)
Ah, Kate, the evil coquette has finally revealed herself! Prepare for the ultimate showdown!
KATE
(evil smirk)
Arden, you may have your hags by your side, but I possess the power to make even Godzilla himself feel insecure about his body.
AOIFE
(raising an eyebrow)
Oh, really, Kate? And what's your secret weapon? The power of a size zero dress?
SHIV
(flicking her hair dramatically)
Well, Kate, if you think you can defeat us with your Pinterest thinspo demons, think again! We have something far mightier.
GIA
(whispering dramatically)
The power of self-love and a really good cheeseburger!
Arden grabs a cheeseburger from the nearby table, holding it up triumphantly.
ARDEN
(raising the cheeseburger)
Behold, the almighty weapon against body-shaming! Prepare to be devoured by self-acceptance, Kate!
Kate's confidence falters as the group closes in, the cheeseburger gleaming in Arden's hand.
KATE
(defensively)
You can't defeat me! I'm the embodiment of unattainable beauty standards!
SHIV
(smiling mischievously)
Well, my dear Kate, it's time to face the wrath of Sahin's rolling fury!
With a sudden burst of strength, Sahin charges forward, rolling straight at Kate.
SAHIN
(determined)
I may be large, but I'm a force to be reckoned with!
Kate's eyes widen as Sahin barrels toward her, Godzilla-like in her spherical form.
As the two collide, chaos ensues. Sahin's round body engulfs Kate, rolling over her and trapping her within her own insecurities.
AOIFE
(dramatically)
The tables have turned, Kate! You're now trapped in your own web of body negativity!
Arden, Shiv, Gia, and Sahin share victorious looks, reveling in their triumph over Kate's toxic influence.
The coffee shop erupts in applause as onlookers cheer for the hags' empowering victory.
FADE OUT.
Note: Please remember to promote positive and uplifting messages in your storytelling. Avoid body-shaming and focus on empowering narratives that celebrate individuality and self-acceptance.
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Locations of the Hagaverse
In the vast and enchanting realm of the Hagaverse, our hags Arden, Aoife, and Gia embarked on a thrilling adventure, visiting various locations that shaped their journey and brought them closer to their hag magic. Let's explore some of these remarkable places:
1. Kate Sahin’s Skinny Island: A small island known for its Brandy Melville store, a popular hangout spot for fashion-savvy hags.
2. Valley of the Sarm: A mysterious and mystical location where the enigmatic entity known as the Sarm dwells, weaving its influence throughout the Hagaverse.
3. The Natick Mall: A bustling shopping center where hags can indulge in retail therapy and discover the latest trends in hag fashion.
4. Hag Town Hall: The heart of hag governance and communal affairs, where important decisions and gatherings take place.
5. Hagtropolis City: A bustling metropolis that serves as a hub for hag culture, arts, and entertainment, brimming with vibrant energy and creativity.
6. Queen HAGATHA’s Hag Palace: A majestic palace where the revered Queen HAGATHA resides, guiding and protecting the hag community with her wisdom and grace.
7. RL Pump Club: A notable establishment known for its association with the head of the RL Pump Club, a self-proclaimed visionary who inspires and motivates hags with his unique perspective.
8. Winsor School: A prestigious educational institution where young hags receive comprehensive training and guidance to harness their hag abilities.
9. The Cambridge School of Weston: Another esteemed school that provides a nurturing environment for hags to explore their passions and talents.
10. TENACRE Elementary: A charming elementary school where hags begin their educational journey, fostering a love for learning and nurturing hag friendships.
11. The Lair of the Hanewitch: A mysterious and foreboding place where the powerful and enigmatic Hanewitch resides, weaving her riddles and spells that challenge the hags' wits.
12. The Cave of the Chubby Frog: A hidden cavern that holds the secrets of the beloved Chubby Frog, a hag companion with a mischievous nature and a heart full of hag wisdom.
13. The Washington Monument: A monumental structure that was uprooted from its original location and transported to Hagopia, standing tall as a symbol of the hags' resilience and their connection to the human world.
14. Taylor Swift Shrine: A sacred space dedicated to the legendary musician Taylor Swift, where hags pay homage to her empowering lyrics and fierce spirit.
15. Phoebe Bridgers Shrine: A serene sanctuary honoring the talented singer-songwriter Phoebe Bridgers, providing solace and inspiration to hags who resonate with her introspective melodies.
16. WayStar Royco Office: The headquarters of a powerful conglomerate, representing the world of business and corporate intrigue that intersects with the hags' realm.
17. Shiv Roy's House: The opulent residence of the charismatic and influential hag, serving as a backdrop for dramatic familial dynamics and political maneuvering.
18. Kendall Roy's House: A lavish mansion that once housed the ambitious and troubled hag, witness to his triumphs and tribulations.
19. Arden's Hag Penthouse: A luxurious and stylish abode where Arden, a formidable hag, embraces her independence and indulges in the finer things in life.
20. Aoife's Hag Penthouse: A chic and vibrant penthouse that reflects Aoife's vibrant personality and creative spirit, serving as a haven for her artistic pursuits.
21. Gia's Hag Penthouse: A sophisticated and eclectic penthouse that embodies Gia's refined taste and appreciation for beauty, showcasing her love for art
22. Cayman Island: A picturesque island known for its natural beauty and tranquil atmosphere. It is home to Natalie Cay, a prominent figure in the hag community known for her captivating storytelling and insightful wisdom.
23. CIS (Cayman Island School): An exclusive educational institution on the Cayman Island, notorious for its controversial policy of only allowing cisgender individuals to attend, sparking debates within the hag community about inclusivity and acceptance.
24. Alina's Mental Hospital: A facility designed to provide care for individuals struggling with mental health issues. It gained notoriety due to Alina, Arden's former best friend, who orchestrated an elaborate deception, faking her own illness and death to impress someone she admired.
25. Wilderness Boarding School: A remote and secluded institution where the enigmatic entity known as the Sarm is contained. The school serves as a training ground for hags to develop their powers and navigate the complexities of the Hagaverse.
26. Mormonlandia: A unique community known for its strong adherence to the Mormon faith. Mormonlandia is home to Mormon Lincoln and his sisterwives, who live a polygamous lifestyle. The community is characterized by its strict religious practices and close-knit nature.
27. Hag Thrift Store: A beloved establishment in the Hagaverse where hags gather to donate and purchase secondhand items. The Hag Thrift Store is a treasure trove of eclectic and unconventional items, offering a glimpse into the diverse tastes and styles of the hag community.
28. Lesbian Commune: A former sisterwives' residence turned lesbian commune, established by Arden and her ex-sisterwives. This inclusive community fosters an environment of love, support, and empowerment for lesbian hags. It has become a symbol of freedom, self-discovery, and sisterhood.
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The Cayman Island Disaster
INT. CAYMAN ISLANDS - BEACH RESORT - DAY
Arden, Aoife, Gia, and Shiv, dressed in their vibrant beach attire, lounge under colorful umbrellas on the sandy beach. The sun beats down, intensifying the tropical atmosphere.
ARDEN
(taking a sip of her fruity drink)
Ah, the sweet taste of freedom. No drama, no deadlines. Just us, the beach, and my carefully crafted Instagram selfies.
AOIFE
(raising an eyebrow)
Careful, Arden. You don't want to blind people with your beach glow. We're here to relax, not blind innocent bystanders.
GIA
(laughing)
Leave it to Arden to take "beach vibes" to a whole new level. At least we can spot her from space with that tan.
Shiv, reluctantly sporting a swimsuit, adjusts herself uncomfortably in the sand.
SHIV
(grinning)
Who knew Shiv could look this good in a swimsuit? It's like seeing a unicorn at a beach party. Everyone's confused but can't look away.
AOIFE
(teasingly)
Well, Shiv, I must say, you're serving some real "corporate realness" on this sandy runway. Who knew Waystar Royco had a beach division?
Shiv rolls her eyes but can't help but crack a smile.
Meanwhile, Natalie Cay, the embodiment of excessive underboob, struts along the shoreline.
NATALIE CAY
(dramatically)
Darlings, the beach isn't complete without a touch of my... shall we say, unique style? Embrace the underboob revolution!
ARDEN
(mockingly)
Ah, Natalie, the queen of saggy underboob. How do you manage to defy gravity and common decency all at once?
The group bursts into laughter, reveling in their banter and the absurdity of the situation.
Suddenly, Sahin's mighty round form starts to shake the ground, sending beachgoers into a frenzy.
AROUND THEM, CHAOS ENSUES. People scream and run for cover as Sahin's rolling rampage continues.
Shiv grabs Arden's hand, her usual snark replaced with genuine concern.
SHIV
(squeezing Arden's hand)
Hold on tight, Arden. Looks like this beach trip just took a wild turn. Don't worry, I won't let you get swept away. Unless it's by a hot lifeguard, of course.
ARDEN
(raising an eyebrow)
Really, Shiv? Even in the face of imminent disaster, you're still thinking about lifeguards? That's dedication to your craft.
GIA
(hugging Aoife)
Let's stick together, guys. The world is going bonkers, but at least we have each other. And the entertainment value is off the charts.
AOIFE
(grinning)
Absolutely. Just another day in the life of the Hags. Who needs a beachside cocktail when we can experience a natural disaster with our favorite people?
As Sahin's rolling rampage intensifies, the group huddles closer, finding strength and laughter in their bond.
SHIV
(gazing at the chaos)
Well, this certainly takes the concept of "beach waves" to a whole new level. Who needs a water park when you have Sahin?
ARDEN
(nudging Shiv)
You're right, Shiv. This is one for the books. The day we witnessed Sahin become the ultimate beach bully. Move over, King Triton.
Amidst the chaos, they exchange witty remarks and navigate the madness, holding onto their friendship like an anchor in the storm.
The world watches in awe and disbelief as Sahin's havoc becomes breaking news, capturing the attention of millions.
And in the end, they survive, battered but still laughing, because when the Hags and Shiv come together, even a sinking island can't sink their spirits.
FADE OUT.
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HAGAVERSE FANDOM SITE!!! #hagaverse #hags #hagcollective
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