theinternetdemon

[theinternetdemon]

back on tumblr yayyy

[theinternetdemon]

This is me mamamamammamamamamamamama

HAI!!!! IM BWCK ON TUMBLR

[theinternetdemon]

the truth is that no one can save or fix me but myself, i never believed in the "i can fix them" thing because you cant force someone to get better

but if i WANT to get better, but i cant, is it really that unlikely that someone will come to save me? that someone will love me and kiss my face and tell me they will always be with me?

[theinternetdemon]

i want to be secluded forever because people make me nervous but i also want to be spoiled and babied and comforted this sucks im too much of a coward to put an end to this and die for once so all i do is complain and whine i wish i was brave enough to die

[theinternetdemon]

suddenly im 8 and crying in the corner of the classroom again i hate this feeling i jusf wanna die no matter how happy i feel the smallest things make me want to relapse all over again i never makeany meaningful progress jts evergthing the same everyday i skipped school again today because i had no energy to go and regretted it 5 minutes later but at the same time not being around people is kinda comforting

[theinternetdemon]

it feels so cringe to talk about my feelings and for what? i cant rmember the last time i was held and comforted by someone who wasnt my mom, i just want love

i already dont show it when i feel bad and when i do the topic changes so quickly, and i know its not an actual problem from an outside perspective but in my eyes it feels so invalidating and makes me feel worse

won't you pity me? won't you treat me like a kid again?

[theinternetdemon]

whenever i catch myself putting up this stupid edgy cares about nothing persona i just wanna die. thats why people dont like me, i keep being aggressive and loud and opinionated but in reality im none of these things, but people always treat me badly regardless no matter what front i put im not sure if it matters

[theinternetdemon]

[theinternetdemon]

what am i supposed to be doing to spend my days? what do people do in their free time? i don't know

[theinternetdemon]

and its not like cutting myself fixes anything either i dont even know why i do it it just makes people worry about me but in times like these i just wnnw bleed and bleed and bleed until i feel lightheaded but it makes me feel horrible afterwards but ubsdbhs i dont know what i want anymkre

[theinternetdemon]

all i want is to live without a single thought in my head with endless cuddles and food i hate having to prove my worth in this world i dont want to have a worth i just want to stay still

[theinternetdemon]

i don't see the point in anything i do

[theinternetdemon]

it's bad again i fucking hate myself for letting it happen again i thought i was getting better

[theinternetdemon]

i'm tired of waking up but the fact that one day i won't also scares me

[theinternetdemon]

boothill can rail me until i see stars

[theinternetdemon]

today i tried to maek brownies, they came out kinda good ???

[theinternetdemon]

idec, I feel so cute~ socks by listen flavor, shirt by cherrycheezy!