theladyrayne

[theladyrayne]

Fragments Step one—Knowing there’s a problem…but what if no one will solve them? Step two—Step into the office, and hope you’ll come out flawless. Step three—The reality, empty promises and broken dreams. Step four—Ignore the pain. Remind yourself once again. Step five—Just survive, you’ll get through it as long as you’re alive. Step six—Was it really a fix, when parts of the whole are no longer in the mix? Step seven—Pretend to not care, you can’t bring back what is no longer there. Fragments of the process, fragments of the feeling. Layer mask upon mask, perfect the task, and no one will know what you’re so good at concealing. Tell them it’s all fine, tell them that you’re good. Half a person, masquerading as whole, you behave the way they think you should. When does it all wear away? Where does the veil start to thin? Can you untangle a thread if you cannot even see where it ends or begins? Extract the broken pieces, leaving the burden on all that remains. They can’t see the point in rebuilding you, for you’re the only one that gains. They don’t care if you’re not whole, they don’t care if you’re stagnant, they’d let you die if they were allowed; you’re just a problematic fragment. https://www.instagram.com/p/Ch27qLKJphT/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[theladyrayne]

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A post shared by Rayne Fallstar (@theladyrayne)

Apparently, I’ve been “too nice” in the past and it has led a certain type of people to think it’s okay to message me out of the blue to try and start a sexual “relationship” with me. I’ve never been okay being approached this way, by anyone. I never will be. If you knew me at all, you’d know that! If you’re the type of person who operates in this manner, please just stay away from me and my inbox. I find it gross and creepy. Hopefully, none of my followers need this, but just in case… https://www.instagram.com/p/CSZ6b3zFxfj/?utm_medium=tumblr

[theladyrayne]

[theladyrayne]

Tonight’s adventures with bleach and toner. More colors to come, but this was the part I love the least and now it’s *over*! #TheLadyRayne #HairAdventures https://www.instagram.com/p/CO9ewaED1m_/?igshid=frkx7waltw3t

[theladyrayne]

It’s been a while, so here’s a pretty picture I took while on a delivery yesterday. More pictures a word-vomit will probably follow soon. I’m trying to stop being a depressed hermit, and I’m trying not to let the ignorance, anger, and sometimes straight-up narcissism of other people keep me from stepping out into the world again; living and celebrating my life for all the beauty in it. We’ll see what happens. All-in-all, I’m sticking with realistic but also optimistic. #TheLadyRayne #BeautifulWorld #BeautifulSky #CrescentMoon #AlwaysLookingUp #TheBiggerPicture #BeKind #LoveWithAllYourHeart https://www.instagram.com/p/CH1rDJwDD2l/?igshid=nvx5uygrz4ol

[theladyrayne]

Forgotten The door hangs crooked upon its hinges, a long neglected portal to a long forgotten dwelling. Does it still open? Who would have lived here? Beyond the entryway, lights no longer lit hang from the ceiling in the hallway. When did they last illuminate these walls? Who would have lived here? Dust dances in the sunlight that passes through cloudy windows. When was the last time someone gazed through these panes of glass when they were clear? Who would have lived here? Cobwebs sweep across shelves of books like fragile veils protecting sacred treasures. What vast worlds and knowledge lay dormant, lost to time and man? Who would have lived here? A single room beyond. Remnants of a long mirror stand center, its reflective fragments strewn about an otherwise barren space. Glittering stars, shattered and spread throughout a universe. Matter once singular and whole, though its image remains unknown, in a place that lay forgotten. #TheLadyRayne #PhotosAndWords #ThoughtsAndFeelings #ArtTherapyOrWhatever https://www.instagram.com/p/CDEuKrqDvuZ/?igshid=erdm6x6tlxf6

[theladyrayne]

Bored and waiting for my appointment to get my oil changed. Trying not to fall asleep but it’s so cool out and it makes me want blankets and cuddles. #TheLadyRayne #ItsColdOutside #Kinda #CantGetTooComfy #TexasFauxWinterPic https://www.instagram.com/p/B6tbfmlpA7y/?igshid=k5w0nyqwe5yb

[theladyrayne]

#TheLadyRayne #Edits https://www.instagram.com/p/B6ZWPGuJRpP/?igshid=t6l0vriajmnw

[theladyrayne]

#TheLadyRayne #OctoberPicArt #WorkingThroughThings https://www.instagram.com/p/Boxr0b7HdbO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=lebjy8njrf5k

[theladyrayne]

#TheLadyRayne #OctoberPicArt #ThoughtRedirection https://www.instagram.com/p/BoxO-XVnhu0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12j5nb7f261t7

[theladyrayne]

Last one from yesterday. #TheLadyRayne #OctoberPicArt #PartThree https://www.instagram.com/p/BoxIZO8nToS/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18n91oihvi0x5

[theladyrayne]

#OctoberPicArt #TheLadyRayne #PartTwo https://www.instagram.com/p/Bou_iSanI5b/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=i6efpcpk5uki

[theladyrayne]

It’s that time of year again! #TheLadyRayne #OctoberPicArt https://www.instagram.com/p/Bou7My4HDw2/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=139gcvo1g3hix

[theladyrayne]

I cannot express how happy this makes me. 💙❄️💙⛄️💙🌨💙 #TheLadyRayne #SnowDay #SnowDayInTexas #SouthTexas #WhatEven

[theladyrayne]

I walk the line, pretending it’s real. Let’s pretend I don’t think, pretend I don’t feel. There’s too many words, taking too much time. Who would even listen, if I couldn’t make it rhyme? I fall apart in sharp, jagged pieces. I’m like shards of glass swept under a forgotten rug. I suffer in clarity, without drowning in a bottle or losing myself in a drug. What’s the use, after all, in numbing the pain, dreading the inevitable return? I deserve what I get, the agony inside, because I continue to fail to learn. Bittersweet irony, that I should live without being alive. Again and again, I fall to my knees, praying, “Dear God, I’m at a loss for how to survive.” I’d scream, I’d cry, and beg for mercy, if I thought for a moment it might come. Alas, it shan’t, and I go on, only pretending to be numb... #TheLadyRayne #LosingIt #Failing #Hurting

[theladyrayne]

Not finished, I’m lacking tools and the patience to work around that obstacle, but progress is better than nothing. Or so I keep telling myself... #TheLadyRayne #DepressionArt #BrokenBrain #WorkingThroughThePain #PseudoMakingIt #SurviveToday

[theladyrayne]

Working through the pain of an invisible illness. It’s scary, lonely, and all I can do is hope it eventually hurts less... #DepressionArt #PTSD #DrawingItOut #WorkInProgress #TheLadyRayne