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[themadlymaiden]

𝖠𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝗒 𝖠𝗇𝗇𝖺-𝖫𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺 𝖲𝗎𝗅𝗅𝗂𝗏𝖺𝗇 | 𝖨𝖦: 𝖺𝗇𝗇𝖺𝗅𝖺𝗎𝗋𝖺_𝖺𝗋𝗍

[themadlymaiden]

Cardwell Higgins - Out Of The Earth You Came (1930)

[themadlymaiden]

I saw a physical therapist for the first time. She took an hour reviewing my medical history, asking me lots of questions. Then she had me bend in various ways, said I was high on a scale that correlates to EDS. I’m now referred to a genetics specialist for potential diagnosis. My GP said they will ask questions to look for specific things, but I chuckled thinking “can’t they just check everything?”

It’s an ignorant question, I’m still asking at the appointment. What was your experience?

[themadlymaiden]

[themadlymaiden]

My husband and I sleep in different rooms, my choice. He has to get up early and I have a T2 flare in the pons area of my brain and dysautonomia which means my sleep cycle is eFFFFF’d.

So instead of his snoring keeping me up it’s my 17-year-old cat. Higher powers are laughing at this.

Are there c-pap machines for cats?

[themadlymaiden]

One day, your skull will be as empty as a conch shell on a fence post,

full of wind and gentle quiet.

Today, it’s a cauldron of ghosts.

Flesh and electricity.

Water and memory.

A machine that makes reality.

Now. Here. Your skull is the garden where fact flowers into meaning.

(From the poetry collection Love Notes from the Hollow Tree by Jarod K. Anderson.)

[themadlymaiden]

WHAT THE WATER GAVE ME (1938), by Frida Kahlo.

[themadlymaiden]

spectators by Kacper H. Kieć

[themadlymaiden]

Golden-gai, Shinjuku 新宿

[themadlymaiden]

You ever crack your neck so hard it stings through your body, but you can suddenly see better?

[themadlymaiden]

this body is not a home

jody chan sick (via @geryone) \ edward hopper interior, model reading (1925) \ olivia laing the lonely city (via @soracities) \ joan didion on self-respect (via @girlfictions) \ dion palinckx (2019) \ james tate selected poems (via @heartshop) \ @artofbrianluong​ \ olivia laing the lonely city (via @soracities​) \ edvard munch self-portrait in hell

shout me a chai latte

[themadlymaiden]

Florence and the Machine, from “Mother”

[themadlymaiden]

Natalie Díaz, from “American Arithmetic”, Postcolonial Love Poem (2020)

[themadlymaiden]

[themadlymaiden]

Margaret Atwood, from The Blind Assassin

[themadlymaiden]

if you make $50,000/year, after tax will be $36,000 (estimate)

$36,000/12 months = $3,000 to spend and save monthly

being super conservative with the spending and calculation (state of GA):

$1,500 (rent/mortgage) + $300 (utilities/internet/phone bill) + $300 (grocery) + $150 (gas) + $450 (car + insurance payment) = $2,700 spent with $300 left

$300 left for:

medical bills (copay/coinsurance) that you might need to pay for

other monthly bills that i have not listed

car maintenance (oil change etc) or home repairs

buying presents for family or yourself

savings

investing in something that hopefully will give you a good return

there is really nothing left

[themadlymaiden]

“I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise.”

— Anaïs Nin, The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4: 1944-1947