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there was a tiktok I made a while ago basically saying "your abusive ex boyfriend is more likely a misogynist than a narcissist" and while most people agreed some said I was victim blaming(?) and that I couldn't know what their ex is like, and while obviously I don't, every fucking person describing their narcissistic ex is describing a typical misogynist. ask yourself, is this behavior you associate with narcissism directed at women or does he treat his male friends the same way? is his general functioning in life impaired?

many people don't seem to know this, but a mental disorder is NOT based on symptoms alone, it's based on how much the symptoms actually impair you in daily life. most people could look at a list of mental disorder symptoms and identify either themselves or someone else with them. as far as a narcissistic personality, we all know people who appear more self absorbed than others, but this is typically subclinical narcissism (presence of narcissistic traits without significant impairment of functioning) which is not a disorder. there is also a misunderstanding of what npd is. a narcissist is not a supervillain invincible to emotion. npd is a defensive reaction to trauma that lead to deep insecurity and fear of being seen as weak or vulnerable. so narcissists aren't actually "in love with themselves" at all and often are diagnosed when seeking help for other issues such as substance abuse resulting from their struggles.

this focus a lot of abused women in online pop psychology have on narcissism is particularly concerning because it completely glosses over misogyny which is literally a huge factor in violence against women. people really only know misogyny as a surface level thing. they don't know it can lead to family annihilation, for example, and is one reason most family annihilations are committed by the husband. it's always "this man is a sociopath" "this man is a narcissist" when the man's behavior is driven by ideology. I am so fucking tired of everything being tied to mental illness and left at that. you know what this leads to? courts "fixing" abusive men by...giving them anger management therapy. guess what? it doesn't fucking do anything because the problem isn't mental instability leading to anger, it's targeted, purposeful abuse. we are getting nowhere

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I stabbed you, you nut! You managed to avoid all the important bits. What?

OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

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i finished watching Deadloch btw. what a dream of a show. I might see some of the appeal of murder mysteries for the first time in my life. but more importantly it's not really about the murder, it's about one of the best odd couple storylines I think I've ever seen. they're forced to work together. They annoy each other so badly that they're basically running parallel investigations that keep fucking each other's up. they hit rock bottom. they admit they need each other. they end up in a place where they really fucking care about each other. neither of them change the traits that the other found annoying in the first place. five stars. more please.

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OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH SEASON 2

episodes 4-5 ✦ text posts (1-3)

@lgbtqcreators battleship bingo ✦ queer rep

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did i steal the kate bush song from ofmd and apply it to good omens? unfortunately, yes

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Where did the shot come from in the first place??

Sizzling Stede 🔥

Thanks to Heather Bayliss on the Rhys Darby Fan Page (on Facebook), I came across this shot of Rhys and saved it. Now, I took on the mission to share it with my fellow Stede/Rhys girlies (gn), and if by any chance you came across this shot already, then sorry - not sorry for being this late in the game and for reposting. 😘 😘

Enjoy! ❤

(p.s. I have been staring at this image for a couple of hours and still haven't recovered. 🔥)

(p.s.s. This image should be the dictionary definition of "criminally hot". 🔥🔥)

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It’s doooooooooooone! My second piece of OFMD fan art🏴‍☠️

This one took me two weeks. I took some artistic license with their hair because hair is hard lol. And I could analyze it for flaws forever, but I’m mostly content with the finished product.🥰

I am SO grateful to everyone involved with the making of the show and to every single member of the crew I’ve interacted with so far…thank you so much for welcoming me with open arms and being the very best humans! This community and this show give me so much joy and comfort, and I’m so inspired by all of you every single day.🫶🏼

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I was rereading Braiding Sweetgrass and got to the part where Kimmerer talks about finding out that the coffee offering ceremony that meant so much to her almost definitely started as a way to pour out grounds stuck in the spout and it got me thinking about how the mundane and practical are given meaning through repetition and connection to each other.

Specifically, it got me thinking about braids. I've seen Native people give a lot of different meanings to braids, from comparing it to the ceremony of braiding sweetgrass to saying that it's about binding together parts of who you are (specifically the body, mind, and spirit), but it's pretty universally acknowledged that braids are a spiritual and cultural symbol in a lot of Native cultures.

They're also very practical. Braids are great for keeping your hair neat and out of the way; resistant to wind, working, and sleeping in ways that most hairstyles aren't. Your hair isn't getting in your eyes or getting tangled in branches or turning into a giant knotted mess. They're also easy to learn and teach (at least, three-strand braids are) and can be customized a lot, wrapping them in crowns or braiding in hairpieces or whatever.

So my guess is that braiding, for Native people, started out practical, just a way to keep hair tidy. The repetition and the communal nature of it, because the neatest braids are done by someone else's hands and someone has to teach you to do them, were what turned the practical into the ritual, what gave it meaning.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just think people tend to see practical and spiritual as inherently contradictory when that isn't the case at all and it makes it very hard to see how many spiritual and religious practices came from just daily life.

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"I bet there's some insane foliage!"

do you ever see the person you have a crush on do something really fucking ridiculous and you just watch and think “ah yes this is where i have laid my affections”

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SO I JUST PUT SOME VEGEMITE ON MY TOAST AND TELL ME YOY SEE IT TOO TELL ME IM NOT INSANE

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OK, fine, I'll do it. Rhys Darby winking.

I'll start:

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Angel & Demon - (2024)

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Let's talk about the genius of music in OFMD once again, today in s2e1:

Strawberry Letter 23 begins as Ed appears as "the Devil" on board the wedding vessel. We know the scene well. His crew slays the wedding party in a seemingly heartless fashion, followed by a short montage of previous violent raids.

But let's back up to what comes before this scene:

We see Stede on the beach throwing a letter in a bottle out to sea, all while we hear Stede narrating this letter aloud. It's very clearly a love letter, and Stede says he's sent quite a few letters before this one.

This scene immediately moves into the shot of Blackbeard's new flag with the broken heart, which clearly communicates a message of heartbreak.

Followed by Ed's new tattoo, also very clearly communicating a message (a letter in its own right).

We see the exchange return to Stede, where he kisses the damn bottle as he throws it out to the ocean.

Then we move to the wedding boat, where a priest is reading aloud part of the wedding ceremony. That's when Blackbeard's crew jumps on with an OBJECTION.

As Ed says, "Demon? I'm the fuckin' devil" - Strawberry Letter 23 begins playing.

It's interesting, because in the full song, the lyrics that should indicate the name of the song are Strawberry Letter 22 - NOT 23. So I went on ye ole Wikipedia to see what's up with that:

It's about a couple exchanging love letters.

Ed's wedding massacre is his letter number 23, in response to Stede's letter.

The lyrics are so spot on. David Jenkins, how do you do it?!

“Hello my love, I heard a kiss from you.

Ed is thinking back to the first kiss he and Stede shared on the beach - and this is coupled with the kiss Stede gave the message in the bottle before he threw it. This lyric plays as Ed picks up the Stede cake topper.

Red magic satin playing near, too.

Ed is thinking back to the fine things fabric he carries for so long, the fabric Stede so tenderly folded and placed in Ed's pocket. This lyric plays as a different red magic satin - blood - sprays violently as people are killed.

All through the morning rain I gaze, the sun doesn’t shine. / Rainbows and waterfalls run through my mind.”

This is breakup Ed at his peak. Sadness, depression, tears flowing. But also the moments where Ed allows himself to enjoy softness and fine things. We see Ed licking icing from his knife in a moment of peace amid the chaos around him.

Ed's letter number 23 is such a stark contrast to Stede's letter number 22. It's heartbreaking and oh so brilliant.

I remain indebted to David Jenkins. The gift of this show is tremendous!!!