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[themarysuereview]

Akuma

Name: Akuma Meaning: Devil/Demon

Age: 16 Gender: Female Race: Witch Animal: Bat

When I read about a sixteen year old witch in the Soul Eater fandom, my alarms automatically ring. 

Hair colour: Pink

Eye colour: yellow/gold

It’s either yellow or gold. Pick one.

Affilication: Shibusen, Medusa(former)

‘FORMER’. OH BOY.

Occupation: student (two-star-meister)

Team: Spartoi

Since when did this chic get chosen to be in the elite team? WHY, is the bigger question. If you expect people not to roll their eyes at this very idea, at least provide some more background information in this specific area. This just looks like a greedy way to chase the main characters. (Spoiler alert: Worst reasoning ever)

Base of operations: Death city

Status: alive

But is this really necessary?

Relative(s): Medusa Gorgon (mother)

Crona (sibling)

Shaula Gorgon (aunt)

Arachne Gorgon (aunt)

Whyyyyyyy? Why must every edgy OC stick their selves into an already complicated family line? Make your own damn witch family for all I care, it would have been less painful to read than having to recognize your character as Crona’s sibling. What purpose would Medusa have to create HER?

Weapons: Akki

Hobbies: Drawing, cooking, singing, dancing and listening to music

Talent(s): drawing and singing

Likes: night, rain, nature, to dissect things, research, fighting, blood

It was all smooth sailing until a little birdie reminded me that this was an edgy OC.

Dislikes: boring people, when someone screams at her, when someone falls into madness, when someone disturbs her, when someone annoys or takes her head phones off, womanizer, spirit

Wait, so she likes fighting and blood, but she does not like when someone falls into madness? As cringy as she is, wouldn’t the madness enable people to start fighting and spill blood?? Is this not what her kink is???

Love/crush: Justin Law

Friends: Shike, Kogake, Death the kid, Liz, Patty, Soul, Black star, Tsubaki, Maka, Shinigami, Stein, marie, Chrona, Akki

Wonderful. An OC that can get along with anyone and everyone. Oh, what a coincidence, it also happens to be the main cast of Soul Eater too.

Enemies: Asura, Medusa, Arachne, Shaula

-Plays the ”I’m Generic” anthem-

Personality: (later)

Lazy.

Abilities: (later)

Lazy.

History:

Unlike her Sibling Crona, Akuma always obeyed Medusa and that right from the start. She killed when Medusa told her too. She always knew how to deal with things. 

An-OC-with-the-complete-opposite-quirk-of-another-canon-character-to-seem-better-cliche.

She once killed a whole village as medusa told her to. 

WE GET IT. SHE WAS A COMPLETE MINDLESS BIMBO. MOVE ON.

She also always deeply cared about crona, she secretly always brought crona something to eat when medusa locked her away. After crona joined the Shibusen, Akuma got brain washed by medusa and forgot about crona being her sibling.

 Once they met again Medusa told Akuma to kill crona since crona was a failure for medusa and medusa also implanted the black blood into Akuma. But as soon as Crona started crying and saying that he don't know how to deal with the fact that his own sister should kill him akuma remembered and got very angry at medusa. And joined crona, maka and marie to fight medusa. 

Can someone please tell me with this fuckery of an arc is?

After the fight Akuma started crying and apologizing for what she tried to do to them. but maka gave her her typical "maka chop" and told her to join them. So she joined the shibusen.

That’s it? This bitch got brainwashed and tried to kill everyone, and Maka said, “Lol, I don’t care join our team.” This whole entire ‘history’ was unnecessary and vague. It felt like just you copied and pasted a part of a fanfiction, and slapped it into your OC’s description. I just-

Thank you.

Thank you so very much.

[themarysuereview]

Arianna

Clearly hitting rock bottom by reviewing an over-sexualized furry based on a kid’s show.

Furthermore, if you ARE going to make a Sonic OC, why must they be humanized when the franchise is CLEARLY much more different? And why must ALL the OCs either be hedgehogs, cats, or foxes? Oh, right, for bonus sexiness points. Let’s show some originality, please.

Name: Arianna Valentine

Age & Birthday: 23. June 28, 1993.

Yeees, just about legal

Sex: Female

Species: Hedgehog

Of course.

Height: 5′4

Weight: 120 Ibs

Hun, your OC looks like she’s nearly 5′10. I am not saying this is bad since we all know how tall Vanilla and Sally’s mother are. Just try and be more realistic if you are writing an OC in the Sonic universe.

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual (prefered male)

But did we really need to know this?

Powers: None.

Personality: Bright, bossy-ish, likable, funny, kind, lovd, loner-ish(prefers to be alone most of the time), cheerful, honest, trustworthy, immature-ish, caring, active, adventurous, impatient, noisy.

WOMAN. PICK A FEW UNIQUE ONES AND STICK TO THEM. THIS IS JUST A LIST OF BASIC HUMAN EMOTIONS.

History: Arianna was born in a bathtub. Like, She came out. In a bathtub.

Why am I still here

Her parents were drug addicts, and she was given up for adoption at the age of 2 months. Her adopted parents were two VERY nice men(influenced her sexuality), and the best parents she could have ever had.

Okay, fine, props to you for bringing up a homosexual set of adopted parents. You don’t see this everyday with OCs.

She lived with them until she was 12, when she was then taken back by her biological father, after he cleaned himself up, of course. Her mother too, but she died when Arianna was 13 from an unknown cause.

Okay, say he manages to take her back under his care. Is there any explanation as to why her adopted parents would allow this? Remember, Arianna was only 2 months old before being given away, so I would assume she wouldn’t have let herself get taken away by a man she basically does not know. Especially since her adopted parents raised her until she was 12 and HE did not.

She was bullied all throughout her life, just because she was a bit different than everyone else.

Different in what way? Sonic can’t swim. Knuckles has no ears. Miles has two fucking tails. She fits into the universe just fine, as far as I am concerned. 

She was befriended by many people, who loved and treated her so well. These people were: Sonic, Amy Rose, Cream, Rouge, Manic, Sonia, Knuckles, Tails,

Please don’t say Shadow...

and Shadow

FUCK

Shadow was a big influence on her, and was one of her best friends.

We get it. Your OC is in love with shadow because the author is too.

Skills: Guitar, Racing games, drawing/painting, singing, dancing, math, swimming (is this a skill? Shes good at it lol), and writing.

Likes: Guitar, swimming, fanfiction, art, math, Punk Music, The cab [Band], blue, high-heels, sneakers, dark colors, pets, supernatural

Got it. A self-insert. Move on.

Dislikes: Rude people, classical music, Eggman, Sally Acorn (Bully)

STOP IT. SALLY ACORN IS NOT A BULLY. Stop trying to make characters go against their personalities just so your special little snowflake can have a tragic flaw.

Bullies in general, mean animals

WE GET IT. SHE WAS BULLIED.

jeans without rips, drugs

~O.C.D.

[themarysuereview]

Una Fotia

【 Nickname 】Una

【 Alias 】The Fairy o' the Wisp

【 Age 】14 | 21 | 22

Get ready. This is going to be a long night.

【 Gender 】Female

【 Guild 】Fairy Tail

Of course she is in that guild. EVERY Fairy Tail OC is in that guild.

【 Rank 】Normal | Guild Cook

【 Team 】None | Thunder God Tribe

PICK ONE. Is she in one or not??

【 Home Country 】Seven

【 Status 】Alive | Active

Una is a member of Fairy Tail, a long standing member who joined when she was eleven after she was found by Erza.

Jesus Christ. Every Fairy Tail OC just have to be in the picture after conveniently being picked up by a main character at a young age.

Despite being a rather skilled mage, she prefers to work as the guild's cook over taking missions.

She serves no purpose as far as I am concerned.

Una's personal arc takes place after the Grand Magic Games but before the Tartaros Arc

Why must she be the center of attention? After all, she is just the guild’s cook. Personally, I’d say her arc would be unnecessary.

【 Charisma 】★ ★ ★

【 Kindness 】★ ★ ★ ★

【 Patience 】★ ★ ★ ★

【 Intelligence 】★ ★ ★ ★ ★

【 Confidence 】★ ★ ★ ★

【 Loyalty 】★ ★ ★ ★

【 Courage 】★ ★ ★ ★

【 Honesty 】★ ★ ★

【 Creativity 】★ ★ ★

【 Perception 】★ ★ ★ ★ ★

This, folks, are the ingredients of a sickeningly perfect, kawaii desu OC.

Una originally kept herself distant from other members of the guild. She had trouble communicating and was embarrassed by her poor Fiorian so she often avoided conversations. Instead, Una watched and listened to the people of the guild, picking up the language through watching. This developed into her gaining observation but at this age, she didn't understand people that well. As Una became more comfortable with the language, she started talking more, but always seemed to have her guard up.

Alright, I understand she is shy and it is reasonable for her to shy away from people. What I don’t get is why she would have her guard up if these people let her join in the first place. You’d think after Erza appeared out of nowhere and said, “Here, come join Fairy Tail, random person”, this ungrateful OC would trust the guild.

As Una got older, she matured greatly and calmed down quite a lot. While she kept a wall up, she became more willing to make friends compared to in the past and is much more composed.

Why is she still cautious?? It’s been years! She needs to get over herself and be grateful that they even bothered putting up with her.

She gives off a gentle nature but still has a temper brewing inside of her. Una remains prideful, disliking to be looked at negatively and trying to put herself higher than she is. While she accepts her lacking in different places, she refuses to admit being weak.

Why is she so negative after calming down? Why is she trying to be cocky? The members of Fairy Tail would most likely try and make her feel comfortable with herself and will nag her if she ever feels down. And you have yet to describe what she is lacking, other than her usefulness to the group.

Una's wall is much less noticeable but she still doesn't seem to completely trust those around her, even if she believes she does.

Stop being an ungrateful little bitch already

Una is very blunt about things which people often find intimidating but she is also honest. She has a habit of avoiding subjects that are too personal for her taste and she seems to run away from her own problems.

There are so many things contradictory about this.

Despite this, Una's independent nature makes her reliable and responsible. She is loyal to those she cares about, even if she appears clingy at time. Una is very good at taking care of others, but has a habit of not being able to take care of herself.

Oh so NOW she is loyal to the people who gave her a second goddamn home. And I call bullshit on her not taking care of herself. The art of your OC CLEARLY shows otherwise.

【 Height 】150cm | 4'11"

【 Build 】Bean Child

A what?

【 Eyes 】Mauve Purple

【 Skin tone 】Pale

【 Hair color 】Sandy Blonde

【 Hair style 】Very thick and wavy

Perfect. Pretty. Petite. We get it.

【 Notes 】

Una almost always has a braid across her bangs and a bow in her hair Una is very short but she is a bit thicker Una doesn't wear anything but short skirts

Perfect. Pretty. Petite. We get it.

SKILLS

【 Magic: Will o' the Wisp 】

Will o' the Wisp is an ancient magic that stems back before the time of dragons.

Well that’s a pretty fucking long time. Want to explain that?

It allows the user to create small balls of blue fire. The wisps are capable of floating around on their own, following the suggestion of the user. They can randomly disappear from sight and then reappear, making them excellent for sneak attacks. These wisps can then explode and while it is not too powerful, their ability to disappear allows them to catch others off guard.

So basically, she can summon little minions to do her evil biddings and committing suicide.

While Will o' the Wisp is classified as a fire elemental spell, it is also a form of spirit magic. The wisps have a link to the user that allows them to almost see whatever is in front of the wisps. The user must focus on a certain wisp in order to do this, however. Each wisp seems to have their own personality and Una herself can tell them apart. The wisps repeat the words Will o' Will o' but she can understand what they are saying. Una has a habit of keeping 2-3 wisps out at a time.

So a kawaii desu Lucy with an annoying type of magic that came from god knows where.

【 Minor Details 】

Una is not a major hitter fighter but she is very good at long lasting fights. She tends to bait her opponents and wear them down over time as she fights from a safe distance. Due to this, Una isn't good at close combat and is not too physically strong. Una is considered a bit cruel in a fight as she prefers to mess with people and force them to run out of energy. She tends to state that not all fairies are nice when people question her behavior.

If she is that much of an evil bitch, she does not deserve to be in Fairy Tail then. Why is she even cruel in the first place if she has been raised by a loving guild? This just sounds like you are trying to make your OC sound as cute and badass as possible. Listen, honey, it just makes you look stupid.

【 Jack o' Lantern 】

Jack o' Lantern is a very old spell which summons a special wisp named Jack. Jack is the king of the wisps and the only one capable of speaking human languages. He is a rather crude spirit with a foul mouth but he won't do anything bad to the ones he comes to like. On his own, Jack cannot do anything, but if he possesses Una, the power of the wisps increases tenfold. Una dislikes using him, however, mostly because he doesn't know how to properly move in a skirt and his attitude is embarrassing when he is in her body. Jack can come out on his own just like the wisps and the only way he can possess Una is if she calls the spell.

Then don’t fucking call to him. She already proved herself to be an intimidating foe without him.

【 Cooking 】

Una had a hobby of cooking since she was younger and it ended up turning into a passion she enjoyed. She especially loves cooking for other people and has a knack for making a large variety of dishes. Growing up as the cook for the guild, she gained the ability to make things quickly for her ever hungry guildmates. Despite her constantly being in the kitchen at work, Una also enjoys cooking for herself in her own home.

Oh how cute, she finally serves a use to the guild.

【 Language 】

Una is bilingual. She is capable of speaking both Fiorian and Sevenese. While she is basically fluent in both, Sevenese is her home language and she is better at it then Fiorian. Due to this she makes mistakes from time to time.

I’m sorry, I am still laughing at ‘Seven’

TRIVIA

Una has nightmares frequently Una can't swim Una can get up early but she won't be nice until she gets her coffee Una's animal theme is a long haired cat. Una's flower theme is a white winter jasmine.

Nightmares about what? What for? Why does she need an animal and flower representation of herself? These are more unnecessary than trivia at this point.

ACQUAINTANCES

【 Laxus Dreyar 】

Lover | Boyfriend

~O.C.D.

[themarysuereview]

Yatsumi Makoto

She is insane, and likes tourchering methods. She tries to act innocent

‘Tourchering’

Blood type- B

Strength - 4 stars

Stelth - 1 star

Defense - 5 stars

Sweet. So far she’s overpowered to the max. Adding one star to her ‘stelth’ is not exactly a fault, is it? It doesn’t make your OC badass and it certainly doesn’t make her cool. Get that out of your head and add some real setbacks.

Trump Card - The power of the Makatos

(???)

Power of the Makotos sounds so vague and cheesy. “Believe in your friends and anything is possible!” And why do OCs feel the need to get so excited, that they won’t even fucking explain the special attack BEFORE describing its abilities?

Trump Card Detail - Classified

LAZY.

Age - 27

Kawaii desu little OC looks nothing like a 27 year old.

Weapon - Her bloody knife

That’s it? A knife?

Yatsumi Makato is anything but a good person.

Or a good OC in general.

She may look innocent but really. Inside. She’s a psychopathic murderer. She killed her parents at ten.

What caused her to kill her own parents? What caused her to become crazy? How did this stupid little girl kill grown ass people!? And fine, even if she did, why did no one report this bitch!?

At 20. She robbed a bank and killed over 30 thousand people. She killed 60 policemen.

That is beyond overpowered!! There is no way she can mass murder that many people in ONE DAY with just a BLOODY KNIFE!!

She was caught and sentenced to execution. She escaped and is on the loose now. Don’t let her cuteness fool you. Or you’ll join her victims.

Okay, fine. Say she escapes. WHY would they put her in jail in the first place? I don’t care how old this little murderer is, KILL HER ALREADY!

She has two sisters and two brothers with her on the killing spree. Watch out for them too.

~ O.C.D.

[themarysuereview]

Phantom Mist

My Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

What I Like: Everything

Dislike: Nothing

Really. What is there not to like about this fat blob of a person?

Name: Unknown

Alias: Phantom Mist

A mist of black shit.

Gender: Male

Age: Unknown

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Either I must be going color blind, or you forgot to color his hair and eyes brown. Which is unfortunate, since a picture is supposed to compliment the character’s profile, not further confuse the reader. But I’ll let it slide since I’m more focused on the written profile, and not the half-assed coloring.

Height: 168 cm

Blood Type: A

Status: Alive

Alliance: Phasmic Rebellion

Can’t wait for you to explain this one.

Teigu: Ultimate Weapon: Genesis

2nd Teigu: Sword Smasher: Feroxas

Haha a second teigu. Oh wait, you’re serious. Let me laugh even harder. Ahahaha

Genesises Trump card: Oblivion Blast

Feroxases Trump card: Extend

This is what you sound like:

You: “Hey, Tom.”

Tom: “Yeah?”

You: “Grass.”

Tom: “What about it?”

You: *walks away*

History: His past is apparently unknown but he made an appearance after the death of Akame, no one knows his real name or where he came from…

I am guessing this takes place after the ending of Akame ga KIll! since Akame is now dead according to you. If that is the case, I am going to pray you make sense in your future explanations.

He came to the Imperial Capital to take down Terrorist threat known as the Serpent Cloaks.

Yeah, right. Do you expect me to believe this poor bastard can waltz into the city, expecting to take down a bunch of terrorists by himself? I mean, the military’s 100,000+ soldiers and special elites wouldn’t go to waste if they already know about these terrorists. Which means your character’s appearance is unnecessary and he can go drop dead already.

Appearance: Wears a long black sleeveless jacket along with a hoodie, also wears a black silk mask, wears two pairs of dark brown boots, a dark grey long sleeve shirt some of it covered by the jacket, along with dark blue pants with two leg armor beneath the jacket, the left shoulder has a steel pauldron and two steel Gauntlets.

Looks at the picture Oh yeah that really stands out.

Personality: A heartless and Extremely Ruthless, always a silent type among strangers and enemies and even during a battle. A strong hatred against Sadistic, Psychotic and Ruthless kind of people…

What is with this contradicting asshole? He’s ruthless, yet hates on people that are exactly like him? And if he is heartless, why should he give a crap about some terrorists that the government can easily handle?

Along his he has no intention of making friends or teaming up with anybody, he is quite emotionless and stoic, even if he has friends, Phantom Mist thinks of it as a problem for himself as an assassin…

I’m going to ignore the fact that you fucked yourself over after claiming he doesn’t make friends, yet has friends anyway. What I am more concerned about is the fact that he doesn’t want to team up with people, yet he is in a rebel group. What gives? It is a new world. The government is working in favor of the people now. Stop trying to make your character part of some Night Raid 2.0 that is rebelling against absolutely nothing.

He shows no mercy to his foe’s no matter how much they beg. Phantom Mist works Solo on assassination missions and dislikes others helping him.

“I am a completely sadistic and ruthless guy that also hates sadistic and ruthless guys! Look at how bad ass I am! Love me! Love me!”

Skill & Abilities: He has a lot of skills such as the Tornado attack, A mastery of Stealth, Hand to Hand combat, Martial arts, and of the Swordsman arts. Quick reflexes and able to counter any enemy attacks all at once, can predict any enemy sneak attack, can eliminate all opponents approximately 500 meters per second. Able to sense hostility near by or far away and can sense someone’s whereabouts even if they conceal their aura.

So, basically a godly-perfect mash up of all the Night Raid characters into one body.

Relationship/relatives: Any family members of his is currently unknown.

I didn’t give a fuck about his family anyway.

Techniques

1. Vertical Spin

2. Horizontal Spin

3. Blade Spinner

Enemy 1: “What the fuck is wrong with this guy?

Enemy 2: "I have no idea.”

Phantom: “DANCE WITH ME.” *Does a little spin in his tutu*

Enemies: [To be announced]

Lazy.

~ O.C.D.