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[thenilreport]

I Just Want To Debate For Fuck’s Sake,’ Voice Heard From Libertarian Party’s Office, People Claim It’s Just Wind

VIRGINIA – Following the last 2020 US presidential debate, reports from workers at the Libertarian party’s office say that a voice was heard coming from the Libertarian party office in Virginia saying “I just want to debate for fuck’s sake, please just let me debate,  I will debate anyone.”When nearby persons were asked about this, they claimed that they couldn’t hear anything, and that it was probably just “the wind or something”. Investigation on this is still in process and will be updated.

[thenilreport]

Joe Biden Keeps Forgetting that GoDaddy.com is not a Child Porn Website

Take a quick look at the 2020 presidential election candidate Joe Biden’s browser history, and you may see a lot of visits to godaddy.com, an internet website domain registrar. But why would Biden need domains when he already has a website for his campaign?

There is only one possible explanation for this – Biden thinks godaddy.com is a website for child porn (just pedo stuff, we know he gets horny around minors), but when he visits it, he finds out that it isn’t. He then forgets this (just old age stuff, he’s 77) and visits it again the next time, looking for child porn.

This comes 2 weeks before his November 3rd presidential elections against president Donald Trump. This would also help give him the votes of the pedophile population in the US. Joe Biden’s win can result in policies regarding the age of consent being lowered too.

[thenilreport]

Here’s everything you need to know about the fly on Mike Pence’s head during the Vice Presidential Debate

The first round of the vice presidential debates between running mates Kamala Harris and Mike Pence was held on October 7th. During the debate, Trump’s running mate Mike Pence had a fly sit on his head. Here is everything you need to know about the fly on Pence’s head :

1. It was probably a bait placed there by the Republicans to divert the audience’s attention from what Pence was saying. It’s no surprise that government agencies like the FBI and CIA have been training the house flies for events like this.

2. If this fly wasn’t put by the FBI/NSA to divert the audience’s attention and if it happened naturally, it’s nothing but blatant racism by the house fly. No, it’s not that the fly prefers the Republicans more than the Democrats, it’s just that it prefers white people more than POCs.

3. The fact that a fly made it to the presidential debates before Kanye West proves that there’s a low chance of Kanye winning the elections (same story with Jo Jorgensson’s party).

4. Pence needs to stop using Pantene.

[thenilreport]

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion have a solution for the California wildfires

The recent California wildfires were part of the most disastrous wildfire seasons that the state has ever had. As of October 2, 2020, fires have burned about 4% of the state's roughly 100 million acres of land. The situation became more complicated with the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, which also resulted in the California governor declaring a state of emergency.

Even though the brave firefighters of California are doing their best handling the fires, it is not enough. We need more workforce to completely cease the fires. Rappers Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion have a solution. Their hit song, “WAP” (acronym for ‘Wet Ass Pussy’), was released on August 6th, and has reached the top of the various music charts. The song talks about men sexually pleasing women, indirectly encouraging more women to ejaculate. The fluids after the orgasms can be collected and used to cease the fires.

Even though this method has not been implemented yet, it is definitely going to bring a big change to the situation in California. Not just in California, but this solution can be used to stop wildfires in general. I personally encourage more women to stream ‘WAP’ and ejaculate.

[thenilreport]

Rapper, singer, producer, actor, businessman, and presidential candidate Kanye West may be looking for a career in stripping too

Kanye West has conquered the music industry as a world famous rapper and the fashion industry with a lot of sneaker and streetwear designs that made into mainstream fashion. He has also been given roles in several tv shows and movies and is now making his career into politics as a presidential candidate. So, what is next? The only thing that’s left for him is the adult industry.

West recently released the tracklist for his upcoming album ‘Donda’. After the release of Donda, it’s unlikely that he will be back with new music. It’s also unlikely that he’ll win the presidential elections, so he needs to put his time and focus into something else – and that is most probably stripping. This also explains why his spouse Kim Kardashian recently filed for divorce.

The details of which strip club Kanye might be planning to work in hasn’t been revealed yet. Right now, all we can do is wait and watch his creative genius take over another industry.

[thenilreport]

Trump might have been deliberately infected with COVID to get bottled water company Fiji bankrupt

US President Donald Trump announced on October 2nd via twitter that he and First Lady Melania Trump have tested positive for the coronavirus. This announcement was made two days after the first of the 2020 presidential election debates. Reports say that the conditions aren’t critical and that he is quarantining himself at home.

Known to be an avid Fiji water drinker, Trump heavily invests in Fiji bottled water. With him in quarantine, his supply of Fiji water will drastically go down, if not completely broken, majorly affecting Fiji’s business. It is likely that competitors of Fiji like Aquafina purposefully put him in contact with the virus, to damage Fiji’s business.

Which company was behind this, we can’t be sure of, but we can almost be sure that it was done by companies to damage Fiji’s business. This is likely to be the first of the attempts of bottled water companies to damage Fiji’s business.