theperfectspy67

[theperfectspy67]

Human bodies are stupidly high maintenance. What do you mean I have to eat more than one pack of cracker snacks every day or else I’ll eventually waste away and die. We should really fix that bug.

[theperfectspy67]

my gf and i share a computer room but our activities are very different

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[theperfectspy67]

doodles

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[theperfectspy67]

Final Werewolf Wednesday 🐺

Today’s Werewolf: The 𓂀✧ɸ₮☍ⱠẞƢ⇌ Werewolf

Head Researcher: Me, who is someone and no one right now. Send help, or don’t. Actually l, I wouldn’t recommend sending help. Just stay away from this lab please.

First Sighting: Today. Somewhere and nowhere that used to be my lab, I don’t know. I got sent down to the lab one day, noticed it was there, and haven’t been able to leave.

Average Size: Towering as large as mountains or as small as pebbles for all I know. It handed me a yardstick once which wasn’t helpful.

Common Locations: My lab, and it won’t fricken leave.

Description: I want you to take a moment to imagine nothing. If you did what I just said then you’d be failing to. You can’t imagine nothing, that’s not how it works. Nothing can exist so long as something does. Now picture everything. Similar result, you can’t. Even if you could, you'd need a brain with infinite storage. Whatever this thing is it doesn’t exist and does at the same time. It’s the cat in the box thing, from that weird science guy I can’t spell the name of. You’ll assume the cat can’t be both alive and dead at the same time, but what if it can. What if the cat can be whatever the hell it wants to be. What if the cat isn’t in the box to begin with. What if we are the ones in the box and the cat is the one in the lab coat observing us. You can keep going down layers and layers of absolute mind breaking nonsense before you even remember what I started off asking you to do. The point is that I can’t describe it, and yet I can at the exact same time. That’s a problem. That’s also a solution, I think. Whatever, I need an Adderall, oh right my pills are outside the lab. Of course they are. Hey maybe calling this thing a hexagon enough times will make it let me go.

Culture: This thing doesn’t seem to understand culture, or maybe it does and I don’t care. I slid a bible over to it and I don’t know where it went. I tried introducing it to art, music, poetry, all that boring stuff. Nothing. As a side note I have yet to get all my albums back. Why did we even have an album player in my lab? And why were there so many dumb philosophical books here?

Curse Origin: It just showed up one day and won’t leave me alone. All tests confirm it to be from several different time periods. Of course it is, why can’t anything ever be simple? Turns out even my notes are falling apart now. I’ll just make up some new name for it. It would be kinda fun just to write some random stuff down and see how the log auto-transcribes it.

Curse Behavior: All I know is that it is driving me nuts. Shanon from marketing stopped by and said I had a conversation with her earlier. I don’t remember that. How did she even get in here. I may be cursed from being in close proximity with this thing, but I don’t know because how far is close if I am right next to it and light years away at all times.

Transformation: My arm has started looking wrong. No, this isn’t the usual body dysmorphia; however, my therapy to manage that has been going well, rather it’s melting. Like actually melting. Other times it feels like stone. Other times it feels like water. I’m starting to not make sense just like that thing. It seems close proximity to it for a long enough period of time results in this. Hopefully it’s reversible, but if I’m following the stupid cat theory then it already has been reversed and has worsened at the same time. What is this section again, transformation? Right, well my arm is on the floor again. I’ll continue when it’s back, or again, it should already be back. This would make a nice album cover. I’m falling apart and putting myself together again or something else is. I had been down here in the lab for 12 days, 1 day, 7 years, or forever, and always never and beginning.

Behavior: I gave up tracking that thing’s behavior long ago so I’ll focus on mine. I fell through the floor during a staff meeting and nobody cared. Ended up in New Orleans, 500 miles away. I blinked and was back in the lab. Apparently I never left. Everytime I try understanding it things get worse so I just let things happen. It’s hard accepting that no matter what I do or no matter what I try I am not in control of my own existence anymore, or maybe I am, or maybe I’m already dead. That would be a boring conclusion. Jacob’s Ladder already did the ‘he was dead the whole time’ thing. I do know one thing is certain, this will keep getting worse and worse until I am permanently stuck between everything and nothing. It’s scary, I’ll admit that, it’s damn horrific. If my theory is right there will be three of me soon. One is something, one is nothing, and one is both. If I'm correct I might get lucky and turn out to be the one that’s something. It will also be equally lucky if I turn out to be the one that is nothing. However I hope to god I don’t end up both. I’d rather not end up everywhere and nowhere.

[theperfectspy67]

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I haven’t done anything for 4 hours but watch whatever cartoon loads up next so anyways there’s a whole episode of american dad bout klaus the fish dating an ancient malevolent wraith

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[theperfectspy67]

Every day I question why I'm on Twitter.

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[theperfectspy67]

If you’re reading this, this is a gentle reminder that you are enough – as is, right now.