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Need her so bad : Osamu Dazai
Author's pov
A knock sounded on his door before it opened and her soft voice reached his eyes "dazai san?" He looked up, his cold eyes softening just a fraction as she gave him a soft smile "what is it, jasmine?" He said, his voice was raspy due to the lack of its use since he was working for hours.
Jasmine walked towards his desk, her footsteps soft against the plush carpet as she spoke "you should stop calling me that when we're at work, dazai san" Dazai didn't give much of a reaction at her words, only saying "why?" As he flipped another page of the document he was reading. "Because if someone heard you, they'd start talking about all sorts of things" she sighed softly as she placed a single file on his desk and he picked it up, going through it quickly before signing it "they already jasmine" he muttered, still using that name "I can handle a few more gossips. Do you have something else to say?"
Jasmine pursued her lips as she shook her head "the rest of your day is clear. Nothing else is scheduled for today" Dazai nodded and he briefly looked up as jasmine began cleaning his desk, collecting the mess of papers scattered across it. He was usually a very neat person. But when he gets lost in work he loses track of his surroundings until jasmine points it out to him.
A small smirk lifted his lips when that familiar scent of jasmine hit his nose as she stepped closer to him to reach a file. Her first name isn't jasmine. The reason he called her that is because she always smelled like that flower. Ever since the day she started working for him all those years ago. The first thing he noticed about her was that soft smell. When she had walked in his study 6 years ago, he hadn't bothered to look up to greet his new and very first secretary. But when the smell of jasmine had reached his senses, he looked up and his lips parted when he first saw her.
Jasmine had never looked like she belonged in his world. She looked too beautiful. Too graceful to walk alongside the likes of him. A criminal, a murderer, a demon. He had wondered why she chose to work for him. Why she trusted him since the first day when he was the least trustable person in the port mafia. But he knew that she wasn't scared of him when he had seen that trust in her eyes. She was nervous, anxious even. But not scared. And that intrigued him. People never intrigued him. He just tolerated them. But this woman was different. The way she handled herself, handled all the tasks he'd throw at her, it was unlike anything.
He'd taken many women to bed in his earlier days of becoming the boss. It wasn't because he was hungry for their body or because he felt lust for them. And he'd never admit it but it was because he wanted to feel less lonely. He thought that if he felt that soft feminine presence besides him every night, he'd eventually stop feeling lonely. But it never happened.
Until one night, a year after jasmine had become his secretary, he'd taken one too many drinks and jasmine had walked in on him. He was sitting on his chair, his head leaned back and eyes closed. He looked like a mess. His top buttons were unbuttoned, tie loose, his shirt ruffled and hair messy. "Dazai san?" He heard her soft voice through the haze of alcohol and opened his bleary eyes to find himself looking at a pair of soft, brown eyes. She looked worried. Was she worried about him? But why would she worry about someone like him? He never asked.
She took the glass from his hand gently and placed it on his desk before taking the cigarette from him other hand and crushing it on the ask tray. She didn't say a word as she walked away and came back with a damp towel and gently wiped the sweat on his forehead. "Are you okay?" She whispered tentatively, looking down at him worriedly as she stood by his side. And then, as if he realised what state he was in, he took a sharp breath and pushed her away, causing her to stumble back slightly. He stood up, groaning due to the pounding and dizziness in his head and gripped the edge of his desk to support himself. Jasmine gasped and held his arm as he stumbled "p-please sit down-" "get out" he snarled, pushing her away again and this time more harshly. That night he hurt her for the first time. When her lower back hit the corner of his desk, she winced in pain and his jaw clenched when he saw her eyes closing momentarily in pain "get out" he repeated, pulling his sleeves down to hide his wrists. His normally snug bandages had loosened, revealing the old and a few new scars along his arm and wrists.
Jasmine looked up at him with a hint of sadness in her eyes as she noticed those scars. But instead of doing as he said, she took a step towards him and he pinned her with a sharp glare "don't" he gritted out when her hands gently held his arm and she made him sit back down. He didn't fight her. But she could see all those negative emotions in his eyes as he looked down with his jaw tight and his fists clenched. She could see the self loathing, the anger, the hatred which had built up inside him in all these years but she could also see the hint of vulnerability in his eyes as she wrapped those bandages around his arm properly.
"it's okay" she whispered and he scoffed. Nothing was okay. But at that moment, when he watched her
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Oh my god I read all of your stories and......I am in love with all of them.....I will be hoping to read more of them i absolutely love your writings~ <3
Oh my gosh thank you so much loveee 馃挅 I'm so happy to know that you enjoyed my silly little stories and don't worry I'll post something new soon!! Have a great day or night <3
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I really like your work and I look forward to the rest of your work.....貨)
Thank you so much lovie 馃挅 I'll be sure to post something soon I swear 馃ス
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hello! just recently discovered your work and i really love your writing style!! ^^
Hi there! Welcome to my silly little blog, I'm so happy that you enjoy my work! 馃挅 Thank you so much my love 锟斤拷
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Just want to say your writing is just so SCRUMPTIOUS
Thank you so much my love 馃挅 you have no idea how much that means to me 馃挄
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Your beauty and my lust: Dazai Osamu
Synopsis : when he couldn't stop himself and his mind wandered to your delicate skin and soft curves.
Genre/Warnings: ada dazai, masturbation, fluff, mature themes
Author's pov
Sex was a common thing for dazai. When once in a while he wanted someone else's touch and needed a quick relief, he'd just flirt his way inside a woman's heart and her body. But it was just sex and nothing more. Some women were okay with it and some weren't. Not that he cared as it only ended up with him getting kicked out. And when there was a mutual choice, he'd leave after satisfying both himself and his partner for the night. No cuddles or soft love making. Just rough and quick and dirty sex which in most cases, left his partners in wanting more. But he didn't care about them.
That wasn't the case when it came to you. The new and shy member of the armed detective agency. Now dazai admits that he likes all women but the day he saw you for the first time, he felt his heart flutter for the very first time. And that was a new feeling for him. So at first he tried to keep his distance from you. Yes, he's talk to you normally and reply kindly whenever you asked him something or just greeted him after coming to work but he didn't try to make any moves on you.
He didn't flirt with you like he flirts with every other woman and he didn't act like a crackhead like he does around kunikida. Of course you weren't aware of his usual nature because you were new at the agency but sometimes he found himself acting like his real self rather than that annoying coworker who'd jump in a lake the moment he sees one.
So no matter how many times he tried to keep his distance from you, it never worked because the moment you look up at him with that sweet smile and those beautiful soft eyes, he felt his heart melt. More than once, he caught himself staring at you as you worked or talked to any other member. When you'd walk towards yosano's clinic to tell her something, his eyes would be caught staring at the gentle sway of your hips, your soft curves as you'd bend down to pick something off the floor, or when his eyes would soften as he'd watch you laugh and smile at something kenji said. He noticed that you were fond of the younger members despite not knowing them since too long.
No one noticed when he stopped flirting with every woman he sees. No one noticed when he stopped asking women to commit double suicide with him. Of course Ranpo was the first person to notice that the former executive has feelings for his new coworker. But he didn't say anything and just watched as dazai handled you so gently, the hand that once held a gun and killed countless people was the same hand that was now gently pressed against the small of your back as you slipped on a stray piece of paper lying on the floor.
Ranpo watched as your feelings for the former executive grew by the day as well. He noticed your shy smile and your timid steps as you gave dazai a cute little paper bag which had a small box of cookies in it. He noticed how shyly you told dazai that you had made the cookies yourself and that you wanted him to try some. It was so obvious, Ranpo thought as he munched on his snacks and watched his coworkers acting like fools in love.
It was snowing one night and you and dazai were walking home together. You didn't notice when he gently guided you to the inner side of the side walk and walked besides you on the outer side because you were too busy telling him about the new case that you handled Alone for the first time. You were dressed snuggly in your pale blue winter coat But you were a little worried that dazai's trench coat was too thin for the snowy weather so you took out your warm scarf from your bag and looked up at him shyly as you both walked side by side.
"dazai san?" you said softly, a soft blush rose on your cheeks when he looked down at you with eyes swirling with emotions "yes angel?" he grinned when he saw your blush deepen and your eyes widened at the nickname despite him calling you that multiple times. "u-umm" you stutured slightly out of shyness but he waited patiently for you to finish your sentence, only looking at you with soft eyes "y-you look a little cold so would you like my scarf?" you say shyly as you extend your scarf towards him.
His eyes widened for a moment before he grinned softly and nodded, despite not feeling cold. But instead of taking the scarf, he stopped walking and leaned down, looking at you expectantly "care to help me doll?" your eyes widened once again as you blushed profusely and nodded silently while raising your hands by his neck and gently tie the scarf around his neck. You smiled softly as he leaned back to his full height and pulled the scarf over his nose. You didn't notice his eyes darkening when your scent wrapped around his senses because you were already walking ahead.
You waved at him before entering your dorm and he sighed, groaning softly as he walked in his dorm and closed the door behind him,forgetting to lock it because his mind was hazing with lust. He let out a small grunt as he took off his coat and sat on his futon before taking off your scarf. He was going to place it on the table before his moments halted and he slowly raised the scarf towards his nose and inhaled deeply, his eyes falling shut as he smelled the jasmine perfume that you always wear.
A low groan left his lips when he felt his cock throbbing in his pants and his breathing got heavier by the second. He had stopped sleeping around after realising his feelings for you. You were precious. Too precious for someone who is tainted like him. But he couldn't help it as his mind wandered to thoughts that he wouldn't dare say out loud. He breathed heavily as he fell back on his futon and unbuttoned his shirt, feeling a little too hot. He fumbled with his zipper and pulled down his boxers just enough to tug his hardened cock out. A deep grunt left his lips as he pressed your scarf firmly against his nose and inhaled deeply as his hand palmed his cock.
"fuck" he groaned, squeezing his cock tightly before he spat on his hand and rubbed his saliva over his cock to make his movements smoother and faster. Heavy pants left his lips as he sniffed your scarf again and his pace increased, his toes curling up and feet pressing against the futon as he jerked himself off. His movements quick and desperate as images of your soft curves and gentle voice clouded his mind.
You smiled softly at the thought of seeing him again as you knocked on his door, his key in your hand. You had found it earlier today lying by his desk and picked it up thinking you will give it to him later. But then it completely slipped your mind and you just found it in your dress's pocket. Thinking he must be trying to find it, you decided to give it to him now as you knocked again. Your brows furrowed when you didn't hear any reply and a small seed of concern settled inside you because he'd always answer after one knock. You knew he wouldn't be asleep because you both just got home a few minutes ago after all.
"dazai san?" you knocked again, the worry growing inside you when no reply came. Hesitating for a moment, you tried to open his door, a little surprised that it wasn't locked. "dazai san, I'm coming in!" you called out as you entered his dorm but again, no reply. After taking off your shoes you walked in to see his living room empty other than a few half empty bottles of sake on the table. He wasn't in the kitchen either so you walked towards his bedroom and raised your hand to knock but you froze when you heard a low moan "nghh.... fuck y/n It feels so good" your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed when you heard the deep moan of your name. You should leave, you know that. Maybe you heard wrong, yes that must be the case.
You know you should leave but with the door slightly ajar, you couldn't help but peek a little and heat curled in the pit of your stomach when you saw him. He was laying on his back, his legs sprawled out as his large hand worked up and down his cock which was covered in pre cum. His shirt was completely unbuttoned , revealing his bandaged chest and his hair were sticking to his forehead as he panted heavily. Your eyes widened when you a familiar scarf lying by his face and You felt yourself getting wetter by the second as you saw him pressing his nose in your scraf and breathing in deeply as he squeezed his cock tightly. your cheeks flushed even more as you felt your arousal sticking to your panties,causing you to unconsciously press your thighs together.
Oh it was so wrong. You should leave, you should leave but it was as if your feet were stuck to the floor as your eyes watched his movements, your body heating up as you gripped your dress. A soft whimper left your lips when another sultry moan of your name left his lips and you felt yourself gushing as his movements quickened and his abdomen clenched "hah- god y/n I'm so close" his eyes rolled back and his face pressed against the pillow and mouth hung open in a deep groan of your name as his cock spurtled out ropes and ropes of hot cum.
Your panties were ruined, you could feel the wetness of your arousal and it was a little uncomfortable. But you couldn't move from your spot as he breathed heavily, covering his eyes with an arm as he laid there, trying to catch his breath. Just as you were about to force yourself to move, a raspy chuckle left his lips "how long are you gonna hide there, doll?" you gasped softly and clamped your mouth shut as you felt embarrassment and shame filling inside you.
He groaned softly as he sat up, not bothering to dress himself as he tilted his head and looked at the ajar door with a lazy smirk "come here y/n" the way he said your name, it was enough to make you follow his command and you walked in shyly, trying to avoid eye contact with him. He chuckled and pulled you down on his lap, his smile widening when he watched you squirm and blush profusely "i-im so sorry-" you were cut off and a soft whimper left your lips when he suddenly pressed his lips on yours in a deep kiss.
"need you angel" he murmured, smiling softly as you kissed him back as he laid you gently on his futon. His hands trembling as he made sure to be gentle while sliding off your dress as you looked up at him with soft eyes filled with trust and adoration and lust.
Dazai Osamu is not a gentle man. But when it comes to you, he doesn't want to be anything but gentle.
And for the context, he noticed you the moment you entered his dorm.
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insane men covered in blood. you agree. reblog.
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I'm so happy you liked it! ^^ and don't we all need a man like him?
The devil's darling : Osamu Dazai

Synposis : with your first visit to the port mafia's headquarters, you see the other side of your lover. The one that he never showed you before. It was as if you suddenly remembered that he wasn't just your sweet boyfriend . He was also the most feared man in Yokohama. He was also the youngest boss of the criminal organisation, the port mafia.
Genre/ warnings: port mafia boss dazai, fluff, angst, mentions of blood, knife, mentions of getting stabbed, slightly suggestive
A/n: this story doesn't follow the original beast au storyline. In fact I won't even call it beast au because everything else is same other than dazai being the boss.
Author's pov
You hummed a soft tune as you walked around the huge office, lightly touching the art piece that hung on the wall in fear of damaging it somehow. Now you know you just shouldn't touch the delicate art work but you couldn't help yourself. If you find something fascinating then you just need to feel it once. And you also know that your boyfriend wouldn't blink an eye even if the art piece got damaged. He's more than capable of buying a few hundreds of the same piece if he wants but you'd rather live without the guilt of ruining it.
Deciding that you should probably stop touching it, you took a step back, opting to admire it from a distance. "sweetheart" you perked up at the sound of his voice and turned around, your lips curling up in a soft smile as your eyes met. "hmm?" you hummed silently asking him to continue.
Dazai placed the papers he was going through down on his desk, looking at you with soft eyes "are you feeling bored, my love?" he mumbled and you quickly shook your head. Well you admit that you were starting to feel a tiny bit bored with him silently working on some papers but you didn't want to disturb him so you opted to look around his office to pass some time. You know he's a busy man so you cherished every moment with him that you can spend in comfortable silence.
He looked at you silently for a moment before pushing his chair back slightly and extending a hand towards you "come here angel" your smile widened and you skipped towards him, placing your hand on his. A small smile tugged on his lips as he pulled you on his lap, kissing your wrist when you cupped his face with soft hands.
He hummed raspily when you leaned forward to press a quick kiss on his lips, his one arm wrapping around your waist while the other tucked your hair behind your ear "hey samu" you whispered against his lips before pulling back, giggling when his lips chased yours "hey angel" he mumbled pulling you in another kiss "you know I can tell when you're getting bored, sweetheart. You keep looking at the clock every now and then."
You scrunched your nose smiling sheepishly. Of course he'd catch on "okay I am feeling a little bored but it's fine. Your office is so big I'm sure I'll find something interesting in here" you said tucking a side of his hair behind his hair. You love it when he tucks his hair behind his ear. He hums as his hand slips inside your shirt, lightly caressing your bare waist "do you want to go back home? I can call a car for you -" before he could finish his sentence, you cut him off quickly shaking your head "no no I'm fine. I want to stay here with you. I can wait until you finish your work and we can go home together " you paused before adding "b-but I can go back if I'm disturbing you"
He tched pulling you closer "nonsense. You're never disturbing me, angel. I'm happy that you're here. I was asking in case you wanted to go back" you smiled at that, kissing his nose "then we'll go back together" he smiled softly with his hand going to the back of your neck. Pulling you towards him, his lips brushed against your forehead before he pressed his lips on yours in a deep kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut as you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back softly.
At the same time, someone knocked on the door and you pulled back startled, going to get up but dazai didn't let you. You looked at him surprised when his grip around your waist tightened and he held you firmly on his lap while someone entered the room "boss" Nakahara Chuuya's voice sounded in the room and you turned your head to see chuuya standing there with his head bowed and his one hand holding his hat against his chest "they've been taken care of as you asked" who was taken care of? You'll never know and you don't even want to know.
You were just here to spend some time with your lover "good. Now chuuya, you've come right in time" chuuya looked up, silently asking dazai to give him his next orders "see, this is the first time my sweet girl has visited the headquarters and she's started to feel bored so would you mind giving her a tour around the building while I finish my work?" you looked at dazai surprised while chuuya nodded "of course not. I'd be happy to" "samu" you whispered tugging his coat slightly to make him look at you "I'm fine staying here" dazai smiled, running his thumb across your bottom lip "I know your curious little brain is dying to look around the building, sweetheart. So go with chuuya and I promise I'll be done by the time you come back. Then we'll go home"
You hummed thinking for a moment before nodding and looking at him with a smile. He raised an eyebrow when he recognized the mischievous glint in your doe eyes . You bite his thumb lightly, giggling softly when you saw his eyes darken a shade before getting off of his lap and pressing a kiss on his forehead "then I'll see you later Samu" he hummed, squeezing your hip and watched as you turned around and started walking towards the door.
You said a small thank you to chuuya as he held the door open for you and turned around one last time to wave at dazai, smiling as he waved back. You fiddled with your fingers awkwardly as you both passed by the multiple guards whose jobs were to guard the boss's office. Each one bowed towards you and you almost told them to stop bowing so much. You weren't used to it, unlike dazai who wouldn't even glance at them.
The long walk towards the elevator was silent with chuuya walking besides you in a respectful distance. You'd seen him many times before. You're aware that he's dazai's right hand man so you've seen him besides dazai multiple times but you've never talked to him properly so you were a little scared that the whole time will be spent in awkward silence.
So when you both reached the elevator and he pressed the button, you finally decided to break the silence "I hope I'm not disturbing you while you're busy, nakahara san" Chuuya's gaze snapped at you and his smile made you feel a little at ease "of course not, y/n San. I could actually use a little walk right now too. And please just call me chuuya" you nodded smiling softly as you both stepped in the elevator, now feeling more relaxed.
"is there anything you'd like to see first?" chuuya asked before pressing any button. You shook your head and he nodded "then we'll start floor by floor" the moment You both stepped out of the elevator, you were suddenly aware of the many eyes on you and it made you feel very, very uncomfortable. It was like every person in the floor was staring at you and judging you.
Your gaze fell on the floor and you whispered to chuuya "is it just me or is everyone staring?" chuuya kept his eyes ahead, chuckling softly. He didn't need to look around the room to see what everyone was looking at. "don't worry. This is the first time the mafia is seeing their boss's partner. That's why they're all staring. They don't mean any harm" even though he said that, he still looked around the room once with his eyes cold and stern. And once was enough to make all the men look away.
You didn't notice when people stopped staring at you because you were already busy looking around the huge place. There were so many long hallways and even more doors that you were sure you'd get lost in here if you wander around alone. Every person around you stepped back as you walked past them. But thankfully you were distracted enough to pay them no mind.
"this is the security room" chuuya said stopping in front of a black door before opening it. You hummed leaning forward on your tiptoes to look at the dark room. The only light in there being the many monitors that showed each and every part of this building. "you can go inside" chuuya smiled as your eyes widened "I can?" he nodded "of course you can" he held the door open for you but before you could take a single step in, the men sitting inside were already standing up and bowing a full 90掳. Ah they must have probably seen you with dazai through the cameras when you had entered the building. Your eyes widened even more and you hastily said "p-please continue your work!" before looking at chuuya who nodded chuckling softly and closed the door.
"let's not go inside any room from now" you look at him sheepishly and he nodded "as you wish" you had a feeling he was trying to be polite by now laughing at you.
The next half hour went by a blur. Walking around the building, with him showing you the various rooms. You actually managed to see the inside of their training room because it had glass doors instead of the black wooden ones. From the outside you could see various types of guns hanging on a wall and many men training. And After only seeing men on every floor, you were surprised and very happy to see a girl outside the training room. She was wearing a mask so you couldn't see her face but before you could stop yourself, you waved at her with an excited smile. Your smile softened when you saw her eyes widen for a moment before she shyly waved at you and bowed before entering the room.
"that was Gin" chuuya said as you both walked towards the elevator "gin?" you looked at him and he nodded "Gin akutagawa. She is Ryunosuke's sister" your eyes widen in recognition "I didn't know he has a sister. They seem completely opposite of each other " you smiled at the image of the two siblings "they are" chuuya replied shortly.
After walking around the building for another 10 minutes, you were starting to feel tired. You've been walking around since 40 minutes but there are still places left to see. It seems like chuuya noticed your pace getting slower and stopped before turning around and looking at you "are you feeling tired, y/n San?" you smiled slightly and nodded "a little" ''would you like some water?" chuuya asked pressing the button on his ear piece and you nodded again "yes some water would be great. Thank you" he gestured for you to follow him "this is the resting area. You can rest here for a while and then I can take you back to the boss's office" he told you before saying something in his ear piece.
You wanted to tell him that you were fine and that you can continue the tour but before you could say anything, you both heard a commotion from nearby. Chuuya's gaze snapped towards the voices and he looked at you for a second "please wait here for me y/n San. I'll be back in a second" you know that you're safe here. This building literally belongs to your boyfriend and all these men work for him. But still the idea of being left alone in between all these new faces made you a little uncomfortable so you shook your head and stood up "I'll come with you" he nodded and got in front of you. All this time he was walking besides you so you were confused as to why he suddenly got in front of you "I'd like You to stay behind me" all the warmth in his voice had disappeared and you recognized the coldness in his voice. You've heard it before when he's doing his job as dazai's bodyguard and second in command.
You followed him as he walked towards the direction where the voices were growing louder and louder, until you both reached what looked like a room made for holding different types of weapons. You peeked around chuuya to see a small group of men standing at the center of the room but your eyes widened when you saw him "dazai?" you whispered, a smile blooming on your face but it soon dropped when chuuya growled "what the fuck are you doing?" you realised that the words weren't directed to dazai but the man standing in front of him.
"y/n San don't come any closer" chuuya said without looking at you and rushed by dazai's side. Your nervousnsess seemed to grow when you sensed the tense atmosphere in the room. Dazai looked calm at once glance but if you looked closely you could see the coldness in his eyes as he raised a single hand "chuuya. Stand back" Chuuya's jaw clenched but he didn't argue and stood a step behind dazai.
"now" a shiver ran down your spin when his lips tugged up in a smile. Not the smile that he gives you. But a cold and humorless one. "why don't you continue?" his voice was calm when he spoke to the man in front of him and only then did you look at the unknown man. While dazai looked as calm as ever, the man in front of him seemed to be shaking with fear. You looked at dazai nervously when he took a step ahead, causing the man to step back "you were saying something weren't you? Cat caught your tongue?" his lips pulled up in a smirk and there was almost a pleasant glint in his eyes when the man opened his mouth to say something "you're crazy" he sneered causing an empty laugh to slip past dazai's lips "oh really? I wouldn't have known until you told me"
Suddenly your eyes caught the movement of the man's hand and your eyes widened when you noticed the shine of a knife in his belt. For some reason the only thing going in your mind was that you had to take dazai out of here. So your legs started moving before you could even comprehend it and you were already running towards him. The man stumbled back when you got in between him and dazai and you breathed shakily reaching up to cup his face "samu" you whispered, your thumb rubbing his cheek softly. You didn't know what you were feeling when his gaze fell on you. That cold and empty gaze looked at you for a moment before a smile pulled up on his lips. But that wasn't the same smile he gave you almost an hour ago. That smile was full of love and warmth but this one lacked both of those emotions.
Chuuya had pulled his gun out the moment you stepped in but you were too busy trying to find your dazai to notice that. Your eyes searched his and you felt his hand gracing your waist in a light, feathery touch. And then as you continued looking in his eyes, trying to find the same warmth, you realised with a sinking feeling that you weren't looking at your lover right now. You were looking at the most feared man in the city.
"sweetheart" he mumbled, his fingers digging in your skin slightly with his voice void of an emotion. He always calls you that so why did it feel so different right now? "go back to my office. I'll be there soon" he wasn't asking you. He was telling you to go back. But that didn't stop you from shaking your head. You needed to get him out of here. "come with me" you whispered with pleading eyes, gripping his coat and hoping that your dazai would come back.
Before he could say anything, you heard chuuya yell "oi!" and all of a sudden, your were in dazai's arms. His arm was wrapped around your waist tightly and you were pulled in his chest. Your heart was pounding when you looked up, noticing that every man standing in this room were pointing their gun at the man who was arguing with dazai. "d-dazai?" you called him turning your head back and a fearful gasp left your lips when you saw dazai gripping the sharp end of the knife with his bare hand. The knife that was inches away from touching you. You looked up at him, tears filling your eyes when you saw the blood dripping from his hand while the man holding the knife stumbled back with wide eyes "samu y-your hand-" he shushed you softly. Placing a hand on the back of your head, he pulled you in so that your face was hidden in his chest. Once he was sure that your vision was blocked, he kissed your head and mumbled the words that only you could hear "those pretty eyes were only made to look at beautiful things, angel. Not at these worthless and pathetic beings"
Because your vision was blocked, you couldn't see him flipping the knife around in his injured hand. But you heard the blood curdling scream that left that man's mouth when dazai raised his hand and stabbed straight above the man's heart. Your eyes widened and your hands trembled as you gripped his coat tightly at the same time another scream echoed the walls.
A cruel smile lifted dazai's lips as he twisted the knife in the man's flesh. His smile widening at the screams and cries of help. "you know" he mused digging the knife deeper "I would have loved to hear you talk, had you not made the mistake of thinking you could get away after trying to hurt my love" with that he pulled the knife out only to stab him again. A small whimper left your lips when you heard another scream. The one that caught your lover's attention even with all the screams and cries. It was as if your voice snapped him back from his deranged haze. He dropped the knife and looked at chuuya who nodded, ordering a few men to take away the body.
He rubbed the back of your head with his uninjured hand, mumbling "don't look back angel. I want you to only look at me. Do you understand?" your reply was a small nod as you slowly pulled back and looked up with teary eyes . His jaw clenched at the sight but he didn't said anything and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, walking towards the elevator. The whole way towards his office, you didn't say anything but your bottom lip trembled when your eyes caught the sight of his bloodied hand hanging by his side. Chuuya took a different elevator and followed you both at a distance as dazai guided you back to his office.
As you entered the room, you turned around and looked at chuuya, your voice coming out shaky "c-can I get a wet towel and a first aid kit please? " "right away" chuuya replied and you saw him speaking something in his ear piece just as the door fully closed. You didn't say anything as you took his good hand and guided him towards his desk but you felt his eyes on you the whole time. When a knock sounded, you rushed towards the door and opened it to find chuuya standing there with the things you asked for. Taking the kit and the small basket of wet towels from his hands, you whispered a small thank you and turned around not waiting for his reply.
Still chuuya nodded as the door fully closed, and he turned around, standing there on guard with his hands clasped behind him "no one is allowed to enter this floor until I say so" every guard in the hallway nodded before passing the order in their ear pieces.
You found dazai leaned against his desk, watching you silently as you stood in between his legs, holding his injured hand gingerly and started cleaning the blood off of it. He didn't as much as blink an eye but you felt your own getting teary when you saw the blood staining the whole towel. You exhaled shakily, treating the wound as gently as you could all the while avoiding his eyes.
He observed you silently. His sharp eyes not missing a single detail from your shaky hands to you avoiding looking at him. His looked away for a moment, his voice coming out eerily calm "are you scared of me?" your movements halted and you finally looked at him. Again, his face seemed calm but you didn't miss the subtle tense in his jaw and the many emotions swirling in his eyes. Holding his uninjured hand for a moment, you said "I'm not scared of you, Osamu" his gaze fell on you and he gently squeezed your hand "then why are you avoiding me?" he asked quietly and you looked down again, resuming yout work "i-i'm not'' you both know that was a lie.
Placing his pointer finger under your chin, he tilted your face up, mumbling "look at me angel" you were trying to avoid his eyes to stop yourself from crying. You didn't want to appear so weak in front of him but you couldn't help it. A single tear ran down your cheek and dazai pulled you to him swiftly, wrapping an arm around your shaking form "i-im sorry" you whimpered burying your face in his chest while dazai's brows furrowed "why are you apologizing? You've done nothing wrong sweetheart" he whispered, his hold around you tightening as he pressed multiple kisses on your head "y/n please don't cry" he buried his face in your hair, exhaling the sweet fragrance of your shampoo "y-you got hurt because of me" you pulled back slightly to look at him and wiped your tears, a smile almost pulling on your lips when you saw the visible confusion on his face "what do you mean I got hurt because of you?" his honey eyes stared in your own as he patiently waited for you to finish your sentence.
"well" you looked down "i-i feel like if I hadn't come in between, then you wouldn't have gotten hurt. It was silly of me. Chuuya and everyone else wouldn't have let you get hurt even if that man had tried to attack you. But because I came in between.." you trailed off fiddling with the buttons of his coat. He tched shaking his head with a small sigh and made you look at him "angel I didn't get hurt because of you. That shit head was thinking about swinging his little knife at me before you were there too" your eyes widened at his words "y-you knew he was thinking about hurting you?" a raspy chuckle left his lips as he nodded, taking your hand and pressing soft kisses on your fingers "of course I did" he mumbled "then why didn't you move away? O-or-" he cut you off with a small smile "because thinking and doing are two different things, doll. He was thinking about it. He wanted to do it but he couldn't. He didn't have the guts to stab the boss so he decided to be a fucking coward and tried to hurt you thinking he'd have a chance to escape" his eyes darkened at the last sentence and his arms wrapped around your form, pulling you in his deep embrace again.
You hugged him back, noticing all the tension leaving his body as he relaxed against you. His voice much more soft now "you didn't hurt me angel. You'll never hurt me. So stop worrying that pretty little head, you hear me?" you nodded pressing a soft kiss on his jaw "Samu?" he hummed nuzzling his face in your neck causing you to giggle softly as you placed one hand on his shoulder while the other stayed wrapped around him "what did that man do? Y-you looked angry when I got there" you asked hesitantly not knowing if he'll even answer it or not. He has told you many times before that the less you know, the safer you will be. But there are only rare times when dazai truly gets angry. So you couldn't help yourself but ask.
He sighed tiredly and pulled back a little to cup your face with one hand "we found out that there were a few spies in the mafia" your eyes widened at that "chuuya had managed to find every one of them expect one person" "you knew that man was the spy?" he nodded looking proud at how quick you catch on "I had my doubts but I didn't want to risk him running away so I stayed quiet until my doubts were cleared. When he saw me he got flustered and you know a flustered human will always make mistakes. He didn't have any chance of escaping so he started babbling nonsense" he didn't want to tell you that the nonsense he was speaking, included you. He was already planning on how to make him see hell on earth but you gave him a quick death by coming in between. He wasn't mad at you about it. If anything, it made him realise the difference between you and him once again. While he's out here killing people, you're saving them without even knowing. And a quick death wasn't known as a punishment in his books.
He noticed you've gone quiet again as you absentmindedly played with the locks of his hair "sweetheart" you looked at him questioningly, his hands a little desperate as he pulled you in "tell me I didn't scare you" you smiled softly cupping his face and leaned forward until your lips brushed against his "I'm not scared of you, Samu. You didn't scare me. I was just a little... I can't find the right word for it but I'm not scared of you" he looked at you quietly for a moment before exhaling and pulling you back in his arms "I love you" he mumbled kissing the side of your head and you smiled "I love you too samu"
After a few moments of him holding you, you turned around in his arms so that your back was pressed against his chest and his one arm was wrapped around your waist . He watched you silently as you gently cradled his bandaged hand close to your chest "does it hurt?" you whispered and he could only manage a small shake of his head as he felt his heart skipping a beat when you raised his hand to your lips and pressed a soft kiss on his knuckles.
He knows what you were feeling. The emotion you couldn't name and neither could he to be honest. He was damaged since the early age of 14 so blood and gore didn't have any effect on him. Catching and punishing spies wasn't any surprise either. But this was the first time you, his precious angel witnessed something like this. And he was mad at himself for every letting you see something like this. When he was walking you to his office, he was convinced that he had scared you. That you will start hating him after seeing the side of him that he desperately wanted to hide. That this morning was the last time he was able to see your sweet smile. So imagine how he must have felt when you still welcomed him with open arms. When you still kissed him and heard him and held him with that smile and gentle warmth.
As he saw you softly caressing his injured hand, he wondered how you can treat him with the same love and affection after witnessing his true side. Holding you again was another thing. He was terrified that he won't ever be able to see you and your warm smile again. It scared him more than he expected. And this was the first time his expectations had gone wrong but he was so glad they did went wrong. Because he fell for you all over again. He loved you a little more than yesterday and he held you just a little tighter as you kissed his cheek, asking if you both can go home now.
Home. He never thought he would have a place that he could call home but here he was, letting you decorate his lifeless penthouse with your yellow cushions and curtains and flower pots and what not.
Smiling softly, he nodded, holding you just for a second more before pressing a deep kiss on your lips.
"let's go home, sweetheart"
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The devil's darling : Osamu Dazai

Synposis : with your first visit to the port mafia's headquarters, you see the other side of your lover. The one that he never showed you before. It was as if you suddenly remembered that he wasn't just your sweet boyfriend . He was also the most feared man in Yokohama. He was also the youngest boss of the criminal organisation, the port mafia.
Genre/ warnings: port mafia boss dazai, fluff, angst, mentions of blood, knife, mentions of getting stabbed, slightly suggestive
A/n: this story doesn't follow the original beast au storyline. In fact I won't even call it beast au because everything else is same other than dazai being the boss.
Author's pov
You hummed a soft tune as you walked around the huge office, lightly touching the art piece that hung on the wall in fear of damaging it somehow. Now you know you just shouldn't touch the delicate art work but you couldn't help yourself. If you find something fascinating then you just need to feel it once. And you also know that your boyfriend wouldn't blink an eye even if the art piece got damaged. He's more than capable of buying a few hundreds of the same piece if he wants but you'd rather live without the guilt of ruining it.
Deciding that you should probably stop touching it, you took a step back, opting to admire it from a distance. "sweetheart" you perked up at the sound of his voice and turned around, your lips curling up in a soft smile as your eyes met. "hmm?" you hummed silently asking him to continue.
Dazai placed the papers he was going through down on his desk, looking at you with soft eyes "are you feeling bored, my love?" he mumbled and you quickly shook your head. Well you admit that you were starting to feel a tiny bit bored with him silently working on some papers but you didn't want to disturb him so you opted to look around his office to pass some time. You know he's a busy man so you cherished every moment with him that you can spend in comfortable silence.
He looked at you silently for a moment before pushing his chair back slightly and extending a hand towards you "come here angel" your smile widened and you skipped towards him, placing your hand on his. A small smile tugged on his lips as he pulled you on his lap, kissing your wrist when you cupped his face with soft hands.
He hummed raspily when you leaned forward to press a quick kiss on his lips, his one arm wrapping around your waist while the other tucked your hair behind your ear "hey samu" you whispered against his lips before pulling back, giggling when his lips chased yours "hey angel" he mumbled pulling you in another kiss "you know I can tell when you're getting bored, sweetheart. You keep looking at the clock every now and then."
You scrunched your nose smiling sheepishly. Of course he'd catch on "okay I am feeling a little bored but it's fine. Your office is so big I'm sure I'll find something interesting in here" you said tucking a side of his hair behind his hair. You love it when he tucks his hair behind his ear. He hums as his hand slips inside your shirt, lightly caressing your bare waist "do you want to go back home? I can call a car for you -" before he could finish his sentence, you cut him off quickly shaking your head "no no I'm fine. I want to stay here with you. I can wait until you finish your work and we can go home together " you paused before adding "b-but I can go back if I'm disturbing you"
He tched pulling you closer "nonsense. You're never disturbing me, angel. I'm happy that you're here. I was asking in case you wanted to go back" you smiled at that, kissing his nose "then we'll go back together" he smiled softly with his hand going to the back of your neck. Pulling you towards him, his lips brushed against your forehead before he pressed his lips on yours in a deep kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut as you wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him back softly.
At the same time, someone knocked on the door and you pulled back startled, going to get up but dazai didn't let you. You looked at him surprised when his grip around your waist tightened and he held you firmly on his lap while someone entered the room "boss" Nakahara Chuuya's voice sounded in the room and you turned your head to see chuuya standing there with his head bowed and his one hand holding his hat against his chest "they've been taken care of as you asked" who was taken care of? You'll never know and you don't even want to know.
You were just here to spend some time with your lover "good. Now chuuya, you've come right in time" chuuya looked up, silently asking dazai to give him his next orders "see, this is the first time my sweet girl has visited the headquarters and she's started to feel bored so would you mind giving her a tour around the building while I finish my work?" you looked at dazai surprised while chuuya nodded "of course not. I'd be happy to" "samu" you whispered tugging his coat slightly to make him look at you "I'm fine staying here" dazai smiled, running his thumb across your bottom lip "I know your curious little brain is dying to look around the building, sweetheart. So go with chuuya and I promise I'll be done by the time you come back. Then we'll go home"
You hummed thinking for a moment before nodding and looking at him with a smile. He raised an eyebrow when he recognized the mischievous glint in your doe eyes . You bite his thumb lightly, giggling softly when you saw his eyes darken a shade before getting off of his lap and pressing a kiss on his forehead "then I'll see you later Samu" he hummed, squeezing your hip and watched as you turned around and started walking towards the door.
You said a small thank you to chuuya as he held the door open for you and turned around one last time to wave at dazai, smiling as he waved back. You fiddled with your fingers awkwardly as you both passed by the multiple guards whose jobs were to guard the boss's office. Each one bowed towards you and you almost told them to stop bowing so much. You weren't used to it, unlike dazai who wouldn't even glance at them.
The long walk towards the elevator was silent with chuuya walking besides you in a respectful distance. You'd seen him many times before. You're aware that he's dazai's right hand man so you've seen him besides dazai multiple times but you've never talked to him properly so you were a little scared that the whole time will be spent in awkward silence.
So when you both reached the elevator and he pressed the button, you finally decided to break the silence "I hope I'm not disturbing you while you're busy, nakahara san" Chuuya's gaze snapped at you and his smile made you feel a little at ease "of course not, y/n San. I could actually use a little walk right now too. And please just call me chuuya" you nodded smiling softly as you both stepped in the elevator, now feeling more relaxed.
"is there anything you'd like to see first?" chuuya asked before pressing any button. You shook your head and he nodded "then we'll start floor by floor" the moment You both stepped out of the elevator, you were suddenly aware of the many eyes on you and it made you feel very, very uncomfortable. It was like every person in the floor was staring at you and judging you.
Your gaze fell on the floor and you whispered to chuuya "is it just me or is everyone staring?" chuuya kept his eyes ahead, chuckling softly. He didn't need to look around the room to see what everyone was looking at. "don't worry. This is the first time the mafia is seeing their boss's partner. That's why they're all staring. They don't mean any harm" even though he said that, he still looked around the room once with his eyes cold and stern. And once was enough to make all the men look away.
You didn't notice when people stopped staring at you because you were already busy looking around the huge place. There were so many long hallways and even more doors that you were sure you'd get lost in here if you wander around alone. Every person around you stepped back as you walked past them. But thankfully you were distracted enough to pay them no mind.
"this is the security room" chuuya said stopping in front of a black door before opening it. You hummed leaning forward on your tiptoes to look at the dark room. The only light in there being the many monitors that showed each and every part of this building. "you can go inside" chuuya smiled as your eyes widened "I can?" he nodded "of course you can" he held the door open for you but before you could take a single step in, the men sitting inside were already standing up and bowing a full 90掳. Ah they must have probably seen you with dazai through the cameras when you had entered the building. Your eyes widened even more and you hastily said "p-please continue your work!" before looking at chuuya who nodded chuckling softly and closed the door.
"let's not go inside any room from now" you look at him sheepishly and he nodded "as you wish" you had a feeling he was trying to be polite by now laughing at you.
The next half hour went by a blur. Walking around the building, with him showing you the various rooms. You actually managed to see the inside of their training room because it had glass doors instead of the black wooden ones. From the outside you could see various types of guns hanging on a wall and many men training. And After only seeing men on every floor, you were surprised and very happy to see a girl outside the training room. She was wearing a mask so you couldn't see her face but before you could stop yourself, you waved at her with an excited smile. Your smile softened when you saw her eyes widen for a moment before she shyly waved at you and bowed before entering the room.
"that was Gin" chuuya said as you both walked towards the elevator "gin?" you looked at him and he nodded "Gin akutagawa. She is Ryunosuke's sister" your eyes widen in recognition "I didn't know he has a sister. They seem completely opposite of each other " you smiled at the image of the two siblings "they are" chuuya replied shortly.
After walking around the building for another 10 minutes, you were starting to feel tired. You've been walking around since 40 minutes but there are still places left to see. It seems like chuuya noticed your pace getting slower and stopped before turning around and looking at you "are you feeling tired, y/n San?" you smiled slightly and nodded "a little" ''would you like some water?" chuuya asked pressing the button on his ear piece and you nodded again "yes some water would be great. Thank you" he gestured for you to follow him "this is the resting area. You can rest here for a while and then I can take you back to the boss's office" he told you before saying something in his ear piece.
You wanted to tell him that you were fine and that you can continue the tour but before you could say anything, you both heard a commotion from nearby. Chuuya's gaze snapped towards the voices and he looked at you for a second "please wait here for me y/n San. I'll be back in a second" you know that you're safe here. This building literally belongs to your boyfriend and all these men work for him. But still the idea of being left alone in between all these new faces made you a little uncomfortable so you shook your head and stood up "I'll come with you" he nodded and got in front of you. All this time he was walking besides you so you were confused as to why he suddenly got in front of you "I'd like You to stay behind me" all the warmth in his voice had disappeared and you recognized the coldness in his voice. You've heard it before when he's doing his job as dazai's bodyguard and second in command.
You followed him as he walked towards the direction where the voices were growing louder and louder, until you both reached what looked like a room made for holding different types of weapons. You peeked around chuuya to see a small group of men standing at the center of the room but your eyes widened when you saw him "dazai?" you whispered, a smile blooming on your face but it soon dropped when chuuya growled "what the fuck are you doing?" you realised that the words weren't directed to dazai but the man standing in front of him.
"y/n San don't come any closer" chuuya said without looking at you and rushed by dazai's side. Your nervousnsess seemed to grow when you sensed the tense atmosphere in the room. Dazai looked calm at once glance but if you looked closely you could see the coldness in his eyes as he raised a single hand "chuuya. Stand back" Chuuya's jaw clenched but he didn't argue and stood a step behind dazai.
"now" a shiver ran down your spin when his lips tugged up in a smile. Not the smile that he gives you. But a cold and humorless one. "why don't you continue?" his voice was calm when he spoke to the man in front of him and only then did you look at the unknown man. While dazai looked as calm as ever, the man in front of him seemed to be shaking with fear. You looked at dazai nervously when he took a step ahead, causing the man to step back "you were saying something weren't you? Cat caught your tongue?" his lips pulled up in a smirk and there was almost a pleasant glint in his eyes when the man opened his mouth to say something "you're crazy" he sneered causing an empty laugh to slip past dazai's lips "oh really? I wouldn't have known until you told me"
Suddenly your eyes caught the movement of the man's hand and your eyes widened when you noticed the shine of a knife in his belt. For some reason the only thing going in your mind was that you had to take dazai out of here. So your legs started moving before you could even comprehend it and you were already running towards him. The man stumbled back when you got in between him and dazai and you breathed shakily reaching up to cup his face "samu" you whispered, your thumb rubbing his cheek softly. You didn't know what you were feeling when his gaze fell on you. That cold and empty gaze looked at you for a moment before a smile pulled up on his lips. But that wasn't the same smile he gave you almost an hour ago. That smile was full of love and warmth but this one lacked both of those emotions.
Chuuya had pulled his gun out the moment you stepped in but you were too busy trying to find your dazai to notice that. Your eyes searched his and you felt his hand gracing your waist in a light, feathery touch. And then as you continued looking in his eyes, trying to find the same warmth, you realised with a sinking feeling that you weren't looking at your lover right now. You were looking at the most feared man in the city.
"sweetheart" he mumbled, his fingers digging in your skin slightly with his voice void of an emotion. He always calls you that so why did it feel so different right now? "go back to my office. I'll be there soon" he wasn't asking you. He was telling you to go back. But that didn't stop you from shaking your head. You needed to get him out of here. "come with me" you whispered with pleading eyes, gripping his coat and hoping that your dazai would come back.
Before he could say anything, you heard chuuya yell "oi!" and all of a sudden, your were in dazai's arms. His arm was wrapped around your waist tightly and you were pulled in his chest. Your heart was pounding when you looked up, noticing that every man standing in this room were pointing their gun at the man who was arguing with dazai. "d-dazai?" you called him turning your head back and a fearful gasp left your lips when you saw dazai gripping the sharp end of the knife with his bare hand. The knife that was inches away from touching you. You looked up at him, tears filling your eyes when you saw the blood dripping from his hand while the man holding the knife stumbled back with wide eyes "samu y-your hand-" he shushed you softly. Placing a hand on the back of your head, he pulled you in so that your face was hidden in his chest. Once he was sure that your vision was blocked, he kissed your head and mumbled the words that only you could hear "those pretty eyes were only made to look at beautiful things, angel. Not at these worthless and pathetic beings"
Because your vision was blocked, you couldn't see him flipping the knife around in his injured hand. But you heard the blood curdling scream that left that man's mouth when dazai raised his hand and stabbed straight above the man's heart. Your eyes widened and your hands trembled as you gripped his coat tightly at the same time another scream echoed the walls.
A cruel smile lifted dazai's lips as he twisted the knife in the man's flesh. His smile widening at the screams and cries of help. "you know" he mused digging the knife deeper "I would have loved to hear you talk, had you not made the mistake of thinking you could get away after trying to hurt my love" with that he pulled the knife out only to stab him again. A small whimper left your lips when you heard another scream. The one that caught your lover's attention even with all the screams and cries. It was as if your voice snapped him back from his deranged haze. He dropped the knife and looked at chuuya who nodded, ordering a few men to take away the body.
He rubbed the back of your head with his uninjured hand, mumbling "don't look back angel. I want you to only look at me. Do you understand?" your reply was a small nod as you slowly pulled back and looked up with teary eyes . His jaw clenched at the sight but he didn't said anything and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, walking towards the elevator. The whole way towards his office, you didn't say anything but your bottom lip trembled when your eyes caught the sight of his bloodied hand hanging by his side. Chuuya took a different elevator and followed you both at a distance as dazai guided you back to his office.
As you entered the room, you turned around and looked at chuuya, your voice coming out shaky "c-can I get a wet towel and a first aid kit please? " "right away" chuuya replied and you saw him speaking something in his ear piece just as the door fully closed. You didn't say anything as you took his good hand and guided him towards his desk but you felt his eyes on you the whole time. When a knock sounded, you rushed towards the door and opened it to find chuuya standing there with the things you asked for. Taking the kit and the small basket of wet towels from his hands, you whispered a small thank you and turned around not waiting for his reply.
Still chuuya nodded as the door fully closed, and he turned around, standing there on guard with his hands clasped behind him "no one is allowed to enter this floor until I say so" every guard in the hallway nodded before passing the order in their ear pieces.
You found dazai leaned against his desk, watching you silently as you stood in between his legs, holding his injured hand gingerly and started cleaning the blood off of it. He didn't as much as blink an eye but you felt your own getting teary when you saw the blood staining the whole towel. You exhaled shakily, treating the wound as gently as you could all the while avoiding his eyes.
He observed you silently. His sharp eyes not missing a single detail from your shaky hands to you avoiding looking at him. His looked away for a moment, his voice coming out eerily calm "are you scared of me?" your movements halted and you finally looked at him. Again, his face seemed calm but you didn't miss the subtle tense in his jaw and the many emotions swirling in his eyes. Holding his uninjured hand for a moment, you said "I'm not scared of you, Osamu" his gaze fell on you and he gently squeezed your hand "then why are you avoiding me?" he asked quietly and you looked down again, resuming yout work "i-i'm not'' you both know that was a lie.
Placing his pointer finger under your chin, he tilted your face up, mumbling "look at me angel" you were trying to avoid his eyes to stop yourself from crying. You didn't want to appear so weak in front of him but you couldn't help it. A single tear ran down your cheek and dazai pulled you to him swiftly, wrapping an arm around your shaking form "i-im sorry" you whimpered burying your face in his chest while dazai's brows furrowed "why are you apologizing? You've done nothing wrong sweetheart" he whispered, his hold around you tightening as he pressed multiple kisses on your head "y/n please don't cry" he buried his face in your hair, exhaling the sweet fragrance of your shampoo "y-you got hurt because of me" you pulled back slightly to look at him and wiped your tears, a smile almost pulling on your lips when you saw the visible confusion on his face "what do you mean I got hurt because of you?" his honey eyes stared in your own as he patiently waited for you to finish your sentence.
"well" you looked down "i-i feel like if I hadn't come in between, then you wouldn't have gotten hurt. It was silly of me. Chuuya and everyone else wouldn't have let you get hurt even if that man had tried to attack you. But because I came in between.." you trailed off fiddling with the buttons of his coat. He tched shaking his head with a small sigh and made you look at him "angel I didn't get hurt because of you. That shit head was thinking about swinging his little knife at me before you were there too" your eyes widened at his words "y-you knew he was thinking about hurting you?" a raspy chuckle left his lips as he nodded, taking your hand and pressing soft kisses on your fingers "of course I did" he mumbled "then why didn't you move away? O-or-" he cut you off with a small smile "because thinking and doing are two different things, doll. He was thinking about it. He wanted to do it but he couldn't. He didn't have the guts to stab the boss so he decided to be a fucking coward and tried to hurt you thinking he'd have a chance to escape" his eyes darkened at the last sentence and his arms wrapped around your form, pulling you in his deep embrace again.
You hugged him back, noticing all the tension leaving his body as he relaxed against you. His voice much more soft now "you didn't hurt me angel. You'll never hurt me. So stop worrying that pretty little head, you hear me?" you nodded pressing a soft kiss on his jaw "Samu?" he hummed nuzzling his face in your neck causing you to giggle softly as you placed one hand on his shoulder while the other stayed wrapped around him "what did that man do? Y-you looked angry when I got there" you asked hesitantly not knowing if he'll even answer it or not. He has told you many times before that the less you know, the safer you will be. But there are only rare times when dazai truly gets angry. So you couldn't help yourself but ask.
He sighed tiredly and pulled back a little to cup your face with one hand "we found out that there were a few spies in the mafia" your eyes widened at that "chuuya had managed to find every one of them expect one person" "you knew that man was the spy?" he nodded looking proud at how quick you catch on "I had my doubts but I didn't want to risk him running away so I stayed quiet until my doubts were cleared. When he saw me he got flustered and you know a flustered human will always make mistakes. He didn't have any chance of escaping so he started babbling nonsense" he didn't want to tell you that the nonsense he was speaking, included you. He was already planning on how to make him see hell on earth but you gave him a quick death by coming in between. He wasn't mad at you about it. If anything, it made him realise the difference between you and him once again. While he's out here killing people, you're saving them without even knowing. And a quick death wasn't known as a punishment in his books.
He noticed you've gone quiet again as you absentmindedly played with the locks of his hair "sweetheart" you looked at him questioningly, his hands a little desperate as he pulled you in "tell me I didn't scare you" you smiled softly cupping his face and leaned forward until your lips brushed against his "I'm not scared of you, Samu. You didn't scare me. I was just a little... I can't find the right word for it but I'm not scared of you" he looked at you quietly for a moment before exhaling and pulling you back in his arms "I love you" he mumbled kissing the side of your head and you smiled "I love you too samu"
After a few moments of him holding you, you turned around in his arms so that your back was pressed against his chest and his one arm was wrapped around your waist . He watched you silently as you gently cradled his bandaged hand close to your chest "does it hurt?" you whispered and he could only manage a small shake of his head as he felt his heart skipping a beat when you raised his hand to your lips and pressed a soft kiss on his knuckles.
He knows what you were feeling. The emotion you couldn't name and neither could he to be honest. He was damaged since the early age of 14 so blood and gore didn't have any effect on him. Catching and punishing spies wasn't any surprise either. But this was the first time you, his precious angel witnessed something like this. And he was mad at himself for every letting you see something like this. When he was walking you to his office, he was convinced that he had scared you. That you will start hating him after seeing the side of him that he desperately wanted to hide. That this morning was the last time he was able to see your sweet smile. So imagine how he must have felt when you still welcomed him with open arms. When you still kissed him and heard him and held him with that smile and gentle warmth.
As he saw you softly caressing his injured hand, he wondered how you can treat him with the same love and affection after witnessing his true side. Holding you again was another thing. He was terrified that he won't ever be able to see you and your warm smile again. It scared him more than he expected. And this was the first time his expectations had gone wrong but he was so glad they did went wrong. Because he fell for you all over again. He loved you a little more than yesterday and he held you just a little tighter as you kissed his cheek, asking if you both can go home now.
Home. He never thought he would have a place that he could call home but here he was, letting you decorate his lifeless penthouse with your yellow cushions and curtains and flower pots and what not.
Smiling softly, he nodded, holding you just for a second more before pressing a deep kiss on your lips.
"let's go home, sweetheart"
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His lovely love : Osamu Dazai
Dazai loves you a lot. He loves you so much but he never expected the possibility of you getting hurt in any way. Because he will always stand between you and the harm. But he realised that you could get hurt when he wasn't around. And safe to say that the sight of you injured was his least favorite one.
Warnings : fluff, a little angst, minor injury
Author's pov
It was another peaceful day for you and another lazy day at work for dazai. The day started like usual. You waking up from your alarm, wrapped up in dazai's arms, your back pressed against his chest while he slept with his face buried in your hair and his arms wrapped around your waist tightly. You had turned around in his arms and buried your face in his chest to ignore the reality for a few more minutes and stay in the arms of your lover who hummed raspily and held you tighter.
Sleep was like a guest for dazai which only came once in a while. But there were times like these when he'd fall asleep so quickly, in your warmth and gentle touch that seemed to lull him into a sweet slumber. It was times like this when he felt safe and loved. And seeing your face the first thing in the morning after walking up was the highlight of his day.
A small part of him whispered to him that the day started a little too perfect. When the night before you had drifted off to sleep in his arms, he had watched you for a while with eyes containing softness only for you. In the morning when he woke up to find you softly tracing mindless patterns on his bandaged chest, he let out a small sigh of relief. Relief of what exactly? He didn't quite know. Maybe the relief of waking up next to you. Or maybe the relief of you walking in his life like a light to his darkness.
When you quietly whispered for him to wake up, or he'd get late to work, he only mumbled something In response before pulling you back in his arms. And when he woke up half an hour later by the smell of food, he didn't bother to wear a shirt and walked out of his room in some sweatpants. When he found you in his small kitchen wearing just his shirt that was a little too big on you, that small part of him whispered again that the day was too perfect. But he decided to ignore it when you turned around and looked at him with the smile that brightened his whole life. He ignored it when you skipped towards him and stood on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek. But even when you were on your tiptoes he still had to lean his head down a little for you to shower him with morning affection.
The same part whispered again that his life seemed too good to be true when you walked with him towards the door to give him a goodbye kiss before he went to work. When he turned around after wearing his shoes, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down a little to give him a soft kiss. His own arms wrapped around your waist and a small sigh left him as he kissed you back with the softness which was for your eyes only.
He decided to ignore that irritating whisper again as he watched you waving at him with a soft smile, telling him to be safe and come back home soon.
Home.
He never realized when his small dorm became his home. Maybe it became home after you came in his life. Maybe you made it a home with your small plants and colourful curtains and pillows and many photo frames containing pictures of you and him and you both with the agency members. But most of all, you turned his lifeless dorm into a home with your love.
It was another lazy day at work for dazai. Today kunikida had forced him to go on a case with Ranpo. It's not like it made much of a difference though. Because of course Ranpo San cracked the case in less than 10 seconds. The only part where he was needed was to nullify the culprit's ability with his own. So for most of the time he absentmindedly looked at the sky, wondering what you might be doing. Maybe you were curled up on the arm chair that he bought for you to read your little fantasy books comfortably. Or maybe you were tinkering around the kitchen for some sweets. He smiled softly when an image of you caught red handed with a mouth full of chocolates at 2 in the morning came to his mind.
He has lost counts of how many times he's caught you in the kitchen in the middle of the night when you thought that he was asleep and sneaked out of bed for some goodies. But you sometimes forget that even if he was in the deepest slumber, he'd still wake up in a second if he senses any movement around him. His mind was always sharp but it has become sharper since you moved in with him. He knows that you're safe with him but he can't help staying alert even in the rare times he falls asleep.
His trail of thoughts broke when his phone rang and he smiled looking at the caller ID "yes atsushi kun. If it's another case then tell kunikida kun that I'll be-" his words halted and his smile dropped when he processed atsushi's words "dazai san,can you come back to the agency? y/n San is hurt-" he didn't hear the rest of the sentence because he was already running towards the nearest taxi standing.
The only thing going in mind were the three words that he never wanted to hear
'y/n San is hurt'
His heart dropped as every worst possible scenario came in his mind. What happened? How did you get hurt? You were safe in his dorm. Nothing can happen to you as long as you're there. So what happened? Did someone break in? Did one of his enemies hurt you to get back at him? Did someone from the port mafia-
His eyes widened. Did mori took you to get him to join the mafia again? His jaw clenched as he felt a rush of fury inside him.
You jumped slightly when the door of yosano's clinic bursted open and your eyes widened when you saw dazai panting heavily. "Osamu? Are you okay? -" you didn't get a chance to finish your sentence because in a second dazai was by your side and you were in his arms. You could hear his heart pounding as he held you tightly, his body shaking as he pressed multiple kisses on your head mumbling "you're okay. Thank god you're okay"
You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his chest "I'm okay Samu. I'm completely fine. Calm down" you whisper squeezing him once. He didn't respond but a second later, pulled back and cupped your cheeks. His jaw tight and his voice hoarse "what happened? " he whispered, his eyes darkening when he saw your bandaged forehead and ankle "how did this happen?" he asked again, this time with a certain calmness in his voice.
You could still feel his hands shaking as you smiled sheepishly "i-i came here to surprise you but I had a little accident on the way" his eyes narrowed "what accident y/n?" ah yes. You know he's serious when he calls you by your name. You avoid his eyes and before you could speak, yosano's voice sounded in the room "seems like she was a little too excited to surprise you. Twisted her ankle and fell on the stairs head first. Atsushi found her bleeding and bought her here. Poor boy looked like he was the one who needed treatment with the way he was crying" she snickered as atsushi entered the room "it's not my fault. The first thing i see after coming to work is y/n San on the stairs with her head bleeding. Of course I'd panic" you could hear the pout in atsushi's voice which causes you to giggle slightly but your smile dropped when you noticed dazai looking at you with a blank face.
You cup his face softly whispering "I'm sorry I wasn't careful" he didn't reply, instead sighed and looked away for a second "you could've gotten seriously hurt" he mumbled holding your wrist and kissing the palm of your hand softly "but I didn't" you smile kissing his jaw "I'm fine. Just a little scratch " you look at him sheepishly when he looked down at your bandaged ankle before looking at you with narrowed eyes "doesn't look like a little scratch to me, love" you smiled at the nickname. At least he wasn't mad anymore. "I'm sorry I made your favorite food and wanted to surprise you at lunch but the elevator wasn't working so I took the stairs and I guess I didn't realize how fast I was running " you pout kissing his nose "forgive me please? I promise I'll be more careful from now on"
He kept looking at you for a moment before sighing and taking you in his arms "you better be" he mumbled kissing your forehead gently as to not hurt you. You nod before giggling softly "Samu?'' he hummed rubbing the back of your head "we're matching now" you laughed when he pulled back and looked at you questiongly for a moment before his eyes filled with recognition and he shook his head "you don't need to match with me on this, angel. I like seeing you without these" he murmured caressing your bandaged forehead gently. You huff Hugging him again "now stop being so serious with me. You're gonna have to carry me home today" finally his lips curved up in a smile "I'll carry you everywhere you have to go as long as you want me to. And no running up the stairs anymore" you nodded holding his hand "yes sir"
He chuckled kissing you softly "is this how you feel dealing with me everyday? " you smile against his lips "good thing you know now"
"not to interrupt you guys or anything but dazai? " your eyes widened and you pulled back immediately. God you had forgotten you were still at the agency. Dazai grinned at the redness on your cheeks and glanced at yosano "hmm?" "weren't you with ranpo San? Where is he? "
"......."
"Samu?"
"......i think I forgot him there"
"Samu! "
"what?! It's not my fault. I almost had a heart attack when atsushi told me you were hurt! "
"atsushi go and find Ranpo San immediately!" atsushi's eyes widened before he nodded rushing out of the door "y-yes kunikida San! "
Meanwhile,
"hey you fancy hat" chuuya moved his hat from his eyes and looked at the source of the voice with bored eyes "oh? You're that detective " chuuya mumbled raising an eyebrow "what do you want? " Ranpo pouted crossing his arms over his chest "help me go back to the agency. I can't find any taxi" "hah?! "
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