theprincechar

[theprincechar]

Mold Me. Please? by AJ Wong

I look back

Crumpled and lonely

Grasping for someone

And I do

I find someone

Anyone that would take me

Peeling off layers of my skin until it's pretty to them

Do I mean them?

To me then?

What do they want?

I dont know

So I do what I can to try

It hurts

I can feel thier gaze soften a bit

Thier steady hands grasping

Starting to see my potential

To be something

Thier hands mold and mold until I'm unrecognizable

To me?

I'm not sure

I think I like it

But I don't

I never did

Do?

Did?

Do?

It hurts

I dont want this

But they do

They want me like this

And I should stay like this

For them?

For me?

Is there a difference?

It hurts

It's hard to look at myself and see this

A haphazardly shaped figure

Unsure of what it is

What I am

Want to be

It's okay

Or is it...?

Yes

I want to be

So I am

I can figure out the shape later

I want you

Me

To know that I am more than clay

More than that soft gaze that I so seek

More than those steady hands I wish would take away the hardship

Of finding me

It's hurts to see me like this

But its me

I cant throw it away

Find a new model

Though tempting

I will work to remove the imprint of all those confident handprints

I'll make myself into a....

Well anything I want to be

A fucking rocketship

Blazing through the sky

Or maybe a shooting star

Or the dirt that nourishes me

I'm sorry

You were always worth more than I ever believed

We can do this for us

l

Who cares what they want

It's not them

It's always and will always be

Me

[theprincechar]

Queue the Laugh Track by AJ Wong

Everyday was like a 90's sitcom. Reseting. No character development. No resolutions. No consequences. Only building resentment under the surface. He thought life was like tv. It seemed to be the only thing he understood. Sitting there for hours. Watching. And watching. And watching. We all did. Never a moment of silence. If that happened we would have time to consider the state of our lives. No we'll push those thoughts down. No need to confront those bad feelings. This is a comedy. We're supposed to laugh it off. It's not that big of a deal when he hides in the dark. Clown mask obscuring his face. It's hilarious when he jumps out. Even more funny when he does this multiple time a year for many years. And the kicker is 10 years later you continue to have a viceral reaction every time someone shows up unexpectedly, around a corner or behind you, jumping and feeling terror before remembering to play it off for the laugh track. There is no audience. Well I guess there is but they aren't really watching. If they were they would notice just how real your terror is, how in that moment you are afraid for your life. But your just a fucking character in a goddamn sitcom. The only emotions you get are happy, unreasonably sad for a silly reason that will get resolved in an episode, annoyed, confused, and angry but not really angry more of a cross your arms and pout angry. Not whatever cocktail of emotions you feel when he calls your mother a slave during a silly road trip episode or when he tells you he's pure Chinese and if he gets remarried he'll marry Chinese woman and have a full Chinese daughter. It's okay. No it's better it's funny. It's just a comedy about a mixed family in the 2000s. No consequences, remember? You don't internalize these comments. You don't think you're tainted and unworthy of love. That you were made wrong. That you are a mistake. That you are the reason your mother is trapped in this life. That everyone would be better off if you had never existed in the first place. But its okay because you forget when the episode ends. Thank god you forget when the episode ends. And what would a family sitcom be without a love hate relationship between the son and the father. So compelling. Always butting heads. Pushing his son into doors, saying if he had made a mistake in the past the police have a right to shoot him unarmed, as they have so many times before, and so many other things you don't know about. You weren't in those episodes. You had a college spin off. Leaving as soon as you could. Wanting to get away. Far away. Or as far as you could get. Your genre shifted a bit. Less comedy more drama. More continuity. More silence. More thought. You realize your sitcom was more of a horror. The monster was the one you were supposed to trust and were forced to rely on. Others don't live in sitcoms. So why do you? But when you guest star on the original show you forget all of that. Forget wishing he was dead. Forget the confusion. Forget that you are terrified. It's a sitcom after all! You start guest starting less. Until you're 25, living at home again after 7 years away, and you realize you're not in a sitcom. You aren't a character. You are a person. You are angry and not the cute kind. The love you've been searching for just doesn't exist. No one should have to look so hard for a hint of love. You might not be exactly sure what love is in measureable terms, but you know what it feels like. This is not love. It can't be.

[theprincechar]

Some of my favourite quotes from textbooks

[theprincechar]

[theprincechar]

New zine that's free for anyone to print and distribute! Read the whole thing at newlevant.com/COVIDzine or in the rest of this post.

UPDATE 4/11/2023:

I swapped out the colloidal silver nasal spray info for xylitol nasal spray info. I originally included colloidal silver spray because of the linked study and recommendation from RTHM, but I don't want to be pointing people toward something with notable health risks. Xylitol spray (Xlear) is also cheaper and more widely available!

[theprincechar]

#Kamala is the scum of the earth

#Trump is the scum of the earth

#did they even watch star trek???

I, for one, am happy these actors feel comfortable being loud about how much you and your friend suck. If you’re doing something so against that show as voting for a rapist convicted felon who wants to end democracy, what did you expect? Especially from those women?

Actors being loud about how these assholes are NOT welcome makes fandom safer for a lot more people who deserve to be there.

Maybe your fav actor hating you for your bigoted politics should be a cause for reflection about what’s gone so wrong in your life. You know, if this bothers you so much.

[theprincechar]

please witness its power

[theprincechar]

Nahadoth - Solstice

[theprincechar]

join the praxis discord - sign up - github

[theprincechar]

Exorcism Sorbet! The gems are gummies.

[theprincechar]

[theprincechar]

[theprincechar]

Made my very own tiny dungeon meshi dragon plush, that’s based on the version that only appears in the very last chapter for five pages and then is never seen again. I think it turned out pretty well.

I used this pattern to make it with some minor tweaks to the body, tails and legs and then just made some tiny cones for the horns at the end. If anyone would be intersted I might post the alterations and where to apply them but go check out the original pattern! I stuffed it both with acylic stuffing but also some plastic pellets for a bit of extra weight. The eyes are done with french knots.

Going to be adding manga spoilers below the read more with pictures of what I tried to get it to look like.

[theprincechar]

the prohibition against the worship of "graven images" is redundant simply because all images invoke the grave

[theprincechar]

[theprincechar]