thesisgarroted-blog - Tumblr blog

[thesisgarroted-blog]

alright hit me w the lesson boyo never let it b said that rolal didnt appreciate a good runnin joke neways ur world sounds p different from anything ive ever heard of so itd b cool 2 have kinda a clue in  hell yes were friends this is ur official certificate of rolal friendship minted an signed by a notary the notary is my cat but yeah im just glad 2 b of any help whatsoever even if its just as kind of like an agony aunt lay ur woes upon me i will pat ur head and croon reassurances 2 u lullaby u 2 sleep o shit literally THE most awk meet the parents ever???? i mean ur right at least hes decent but still haert attack fuckin central *heart time to send ur ps and qs to bootcamp teach those lil shits to keep in line uuugh srsly its totes understandable 2b on edge like a mf

its a running joke cause theres a lot of red hair in the fam so its like a clan of firecrotches except bro and dave ergo me because one of our parents broke with tradition which ill explain if youre up for a short lesson on our world no it was a fair assumption since i didnt go into detail about how it went down i didnt do it to any end other than the same thing going on here just venting some feelings to a friend assuming were friends you and i but i guess at least were friendly acquaintances and i appreciate the offer a lot thanks just talking about it a little with someone who isnt involved and who didnt really know me is nice i might also be a little more on edge than usual because he got his dad who does know everything that happened and that both the baby and i are actually androids to come down and visit and help out and ive never met the guy before i missed that honor by two days and this is not how i would ever have wanted to do it but at least hes a decent guy so itll be ok as long as i watch my ps and qs and maybe the rs and esses too while im at it

[thesisgarroted-blog]

pffffthahahaha firecrotch demons wipes single tear of lmfao from my eye srry sry im not actually 12 i swear neway i guess ur not missin much if u wouldnt have drunk n the 1st place o sry i guess i was just assumin that ur wish was more sincere an not the result of a heavy feels jam insert the whole colloquial assume makes an ass of u n me thing just me n this case babies are a pretty intense responsibility esp since u didnt even get the prereq 9 months to come to terms with all that guilt doubt anxiety shit new parents always seem to exp an u dont have the advantage of those totes dope hormones to help u chillax so i get why u feel guilty but u didnt do it on purpose or maliciously im p sure so yknow vent away at me all u need to work out ur massive guilt an then go n cuddle the shit outta ur boy an ur bb bc if hes not holdin it against u then its probs ok for u not to hold it against urself also im totes srry if im talkin outta turn here 

our brother the firecrotch demon none fresher i dont have the physiology for it i dont mind though since we didnt drink that much before and dave still doesnt now (not sorry B) ) i didnt wish for this or anything it was an accident you know like ‘bitch bitch bitch i wish it was this easy bitch bitch bitch’ hes actually doing better with it than i am tbh but thats probably because one really intense day of hormones and the fact theyre still a sentient being even if theres very little in there to be sentient with im an uploaded brain scan and there was nothing to preupload this body with so its like basic os and functions but no thoughts or even base instincts or anything so were building it from scratch on the upside no crying or fussing and also coy (my bf) lacks the massive guilt complex im carrying around for this

[thesisgarroted-blog]

well i havent met any ppl who should be lalondes but arent but considerin just how much some verses and timelines seem 2 vary it def seemed like something that could be a possibility but i getcha idk what id do if i met a roxy that wasnt a lalonde thats takin this surreal bullshit just 2 the next lvl o o o i can DO THAT well ok i can make lapel pins and or small patches but like idk how 2 get it 2 u if i did maybe some kinda xverse transmaterializer??? something 2 get my ruminations on abt these voidy powers r p fuckin useful but also p fuckin vague in a useless way so what falvor is this shenanigan cake? bc itll be the best fuckin cake ever monitored believe me i will monitor the SHIT outta that cake until it is delightfully fluffy and deliciously moist

That there is a possibility out there that my name could be something other than Lalonde is surprisingly distressing. Thankfully, that is not the case and I am definitely a Lalonde in the here and now.

I do like the sound of a secret Lalonde Society. Perhaps lapel pins or small patches on the insides of our jackets until we hammer out the details of the handsign.

If you were capable of doing anything in such a situation, it would be the delightful icing on this shenanigan cake; it’s still cake if all that can be done is monitoring one’s tabs.

[thesisgarroted-blog]

o shit frosty thats bananas what kinda fresh helldemon would make a totes rad android who cant even ignore his probs by getting drunk ok when i put it like that it makes a little bit of sense still tho were digressin lets get back to the subject at hand (gdi now i have that tune stuck in my head) o shit son (i reiterate) thats hecka whack i mean not whack that u got a bb rly but like hooray that u got ur lil bb bunting but boo that some1 u loved had 2 go thru surprise pregnancy n childbirth howd ur bf take it??? how r U takin it? like it mighta been ur wish but a bbs a big deal i mean theres wish fulfillment n then theres WISH FULFILLMENT u get me

i cant even get drunk but sure that sounds great

idk im sure theres plenty of songs like even if the first one that popped into my head is blaming it on the rain instead of drinks roll fingers roll rolling rolling rolling on the keyboard well its a combination of sex and me talking too much and saying wish in front of a genie so now my boyfriend has given birth to an android baby clearly meant to be mine as in literally had the thing like wtf you couldnt have just left it on my doorstep

[thesisgarroted-blog]

fuckin amazing

Cathulhu

[thesisgarroted-blog]

man idefk lets blame it on the aclohol neither 1 of us actually consumed no1 but us will ever kno differently i think that theres a prediluvian song like that or smthng abt blaming alcohol neways in summation such things would in fact b gaudy as fuck but if thats how my lady fingers wanna fcukin roll i aint gonna shame em 4 it all jokes aside r u ok friendo does rolal sense some thinly veiled panic its ok if u cant panic at complete strangers over the internet who can u panic to?? what sex based crises r u currently undergoin

i suddenly remembered this was a thing and just like wtf were we doing wow captor is a last name yes at least i dont think they also literally capture people but i could be wrong and if i am i dont want to be involved im not about that life silver sparkle tights are pretty rad but wouldnt that be too muh sparkle with the shoes and end up all gaudy and shit p sure i could use a hermetically sealed chastity belt right about now sex is dangerous and i didnt even know it

[thesisgarroted-blog]

lmao imperios thats kinda like cheerios only instead of lil tiny whole grain oat cereal its just a whole lotta sea stank heck bent on murderin the eff outta everything 4 no reason idk who feferi is but she sounds like a totes premier babe who got hit w/ the ‘fam fuckin sucks’ stick real hard aside from that tho idfk what the gold plated diamond studded flip flop ur talkin bout i mean aside from the elder scroll ref so im basically assumin here that u got some kinda troll cousin who i would go blind just 2 look at in which case i think ill stick w/ u i like 2 b able 2 use my peepers 2 peep at things however i am still not entirely sure wtf dancin ancestors hafta do w anything

eheheh i can’t believe i’m actually hearing some0ne call her “that one bitch” if a drone caught y0u saying that shit about the c0ndescension y0u’d get fucking culled i promise

it’s kind 0f refreshing 

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[thesisgarroted-blog]

we make the most bodacious pair a paradox babes nobody in all of fuckin sbrub or beyond was is or ever will b as inherently fuckin choice as us unstopped by shit that probs should have stopped us at this point not even the proposed heat death of the universe wll stop us u kno what we should have a secret hand sign like the fuckin illuminati double fistbump jazz fingers zsnap bs kinda thing the completion of which releases our ttly arcane lalonde majyyks (assuming ur last name is still lalonde in ur verse) itd be toes bitchn *totes but yeah 4 real dont evn sweat it like im just glad ur safe as u can rlly b u know im not sure i could help u if u WERE ever in trouble so the least i can do is like keep tabs

Unwinnable games and doomed timelines. Oh what a pair we make!

While I have not enjoyed the spectacle of being drunk in Vegas, that rather vague description implies a rather rude awakening once sober.  

I will take your word for it that that particular state of being could not have been the cause of bubble implosion.

True. I cannot say for certain whether or not I am safe, but the bubble that I’ve taken refuge in does not seem to be suffering from the same degradation.  It’s quite the relief.

I– thank you. It’s been a long time since I’ve had contact with someone who could or would be worried for me, regardless of how long we’ve known one another. 

It’s nice to hear.

[thesisgarroted-blog]

woah

Hubble just spotted an enormous bubble in space

A series of images taken by Hubble shows a star blowing a massive bubble in space. Nicknamed the “Bubble Nebula,” it spans about 7 light-years across. The star creating the bubble is about 45 times the mass of our sun. Here’s why the bubble is forming.

Follow @the-future-now

[thesisgarroted-blog]

idk im p sure our ntire sesh was fucked from the beginning im sure some1 i played w/ had some kinda exposition 4 it but well lotsa stuff happened we didnt have a time or space player n everything was goin 2 shit we were just supposed 2 live out our ntire lives in an unwinnable game fuck that amirite?? omg tho uuuugh tricksters lets jus equate tricksters 2 liek bein rlly fuckin drunk in vegas an ignorin all ur probs even while shoutin abt how u fixed em its great until ur sober again but neway 1 a the thins abt tricksters is the fuckin colors neon rainbows n shit i mean we fucked up lotsa things as tricksters but idk if bubbles coulda been 1 a those things it sounds kinda like way bigger than tricksters honestly esp w like apparent time dilation shit hey tho r u safe now?? somethin that could do that 2 a dream bubble seems liek it wouldnt just stop yknow? idk i guess im just worried even tho we just met

It most assuredly is shit, but I do agree. I am as content with the specifics of my continued SBurb fuelled survival as one can be. It’s far better than the alternative.

We did have a time player, although I cannot say beyond the erasure of my timeline just what effect he ultimately had. 

From what I’ve come to understand, a time player is one of those necessary parts of the game; that your session did not have one is not a good sign. I do wonder what sorts of shenanigans could have caused that sort of error. 

Something to ponder, I suppose.

Trickster shit?

The most intense of mysteries: the flickering light of all colors that rent the bubble to pieces occurred over a surprising length of time. 

Given the description of “dream bubble” one would think that it would come apart in a single moment the way most bubbles do, but one would be wrong. From inside of the bubble it felt like months.

[thesisgarroted-blog]

[thesisgarroted-blog]

puh lease i been callin her shit since i was old enuff ta call nething shit fish hitler crockercreep batterbitch forkface her imeprios conchwhore o shit im not puttin like seditious materials on ur comp am i liek is that a thing u need 2 still worry abt i dont hafta worry abt fuckin drones nemore but i didnt even ask u either way i guess im glad ta bring a lil minty freshness 2 ur life thank u thank u ill be n the multivorse all week

eheheh i can’t believe i’m actually hearing some0ne call her “that one bitch” if a drone caught y0u saying that shit about the c0ndescension y0u’d get fucking culled i promise

it’s kind 0f refreshing 

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[thesisgarroted-blog]

[thesisgarroted-blog]

sburb is shit tho idk i think maybe we should just b content with the shitty shit we did hafta put up w from it u an ur weird life bubble an ur diminished hat collection me an my cat an my void skippin ur timeline huh i guess ur sesh musta had a time player then?? ours didnt but i think that wasnt norm werid tho the only rainbow shit in sburb i kno abt is fuckin trickster shit an im p sure they dont break dream bubs i c our pilot ep has started out on n ntense mystery

Oh the joys of life and death and life again. 

I feel like I should be wishing I had at least had the chance to experience any of those particular quirks of SBurb’s coding but alas.  My timeline merely ceased to exist following the import of my dreamself into a previous save.  

I’m not entirely certain of how I continued to exist afterwards, but here I am: cogito ergo sum and all of that.

Good, good. I have so few hats left to me that I would hate to have lost one to the realm of apparently contagious nerves! 

Why, I shall put it back on right now, and bask in the warmth of a delightful head covering. It has feathers on it, you see.

We could even start our own series on Discovery. Dream Bubble Investigators: no regular investigator could ever hope to compare to the sleuthing skills of a pair of Paradox Space Ladies.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure; I’ve come to call it that as my bubble shattered most impressively, but the events that lead up to it are rather obscured in the mess that was the part where I didn’t realize I was in a dream bubble at the time.

I do recall some rather intense lighting effects; there were rainbow reflections everywhere.

[thesisgarroted-blog]

an echo chamber of time n space n relative thoery hehe who would even wanna surpass it tho  id live in a world ruled by an eldritch frog neday it sounds slammin its alwasy complicate w sburb tho like oh no ur dead wait nope now ur dreamself is alive an then oop ur dead again but not quite u just gotta lay on this ritualistic stone slab altart  now ur a god!!!! for all the good that does u el sigh sorry didnt mean 2 sahre the nervecircle gdi roxy u gotta learn 2 keep the contagions 2 urself its ok rose u can have ur hat back clutch it protectively to ur bosom alt momdaughters or not u seem rly great just 4 u an like i said i never met her so its kinda a blank slate hmmm mystery bubble eh i used 2 have this friend who considered herself a sleuth u could say i picked up a few habits what say u b the onsite investigator ill b the long distance tech who analyzes the clues u find first tho whats a dream needle and is it as terrible as it sounds

Oh yes. It would be a ribbit that echoed on into infinity, a call to all those who would dare challenge it’s might. Truly none could surpass this magnificent beast.

Dead is something of a misnomer, although it is the easiest explanation for my particular situation. And while I agree that it is definitely ‘fucked’, I cannot blame the entirity of my situation on SBurb. Some 90% of it, yes, but not all of it.

I… am going to have to throw my hat into the ring of 'nervewracky’ on that account as well. I can’t say that I ever considered children of my own, and the idea that some alternate of me managed to get to that point in her life… and that I would meet the child of such… yes. Nervewracky is as good a word as any.

For the time being. I’m not really sure whose dream bubble I’m in; mine had a rather unfortunate introduction to what I’ve taken to calling a dream needle.

[thesisgarroted-blog]

they need 2 b only the fanciest of roses picked fresh from organic botannical gardens only 1 hour b4 hand sprinkled w/ top fertilizer juices just the teensiest bit of sparkle 2 the petals throw them on the stage in 3s only im gonna give every1 the benefit of the doubt here an assume that captor is a name n not a title ur makin that code hot man u gotta chill out give it a mo 2 remember its name god damn son ur givin it the flusters yeah i agree they need some silver sparkle tights not some manky stripe ones we dont let no fuckin fashions disasters in on our watch our fashion walk is closed tighter than a hermetically sealed chastity belt elite membersihp only

im throwing roses on the stage or whatever they have on ratemyintro which is totally a thing you didnt just make up guess thats what happens when youre bffsies with a captor you just learn how to wiggle your way right in there and find the nooks and crannies of that code and make it your bitch those fingers are sparkling beacons in the dark bedecked in bejeweled shoes like the wicked witch of the east only without the stripey tights because that would be kind of a fashion disaster on your hands

[thesisgarroted-blog]

ok but now the real burnin question is r u and asses tight or r u still somehow in denial 4 someone who talks about asses literally everytime u respond

roxy like the babest mofo 2 strut the multiverse y yes thats me eyebrow waggle cant vouch 4 ur roxy tho but shes probably cool i mean im p sure all roxy are bomb ok so heres what u need 2 do about dirk n his fuckin lvl fifty rapidash that in hindsight im not even surprised abt u need some kind heavy ass dps water pokemon idfc how u do it just get it done im putting the fate of pokeman battles in ur hands son make mama proud