thesnadger - Tumblr blog

[thesnadger]

This isn't something where the monsters actually are the parents and its seen through the eyes of a child. They are actual giant eldritch monsters that are having fun playing with a cute little kid they ran into.

The child has no idea what's going on and earnestly thinks it's in danger, unfortunately the monsters just assume the screaming and running is part of the game.

Concept: A Limbo/Little Nightmares style indie horror game with a fragile child protagonist exploring a nightmare landscape, but all the monsters behave like parents playing hide and seek.

Their dialogue is incomprehensible but if you digitally remove the layers of Eldritch Distortion they're all saying stuff like "uh oh... there better not be any cute little humans in here!" "Is that human hiding behind the tree? I'd better slooooowly turn and loooook...."

[thesnadger]

Concept: A Limbo/Little Nightmares style indie horror game with a fragile child protagonist exploring a nightmare landscape, but all the monsters behave like parents playing hide and seek.

Their dialogue is incomprehensible but if you digitally remove the layers of Eldritch Distortion they're all saying stuff like "uh oh... there better not be any cute little humans in here!" "Is that human hiding behind the tree? I'd better slooooowly turn and loooook...."

[thesnadger]

what if i just rest my eyes for a second

[thesnadger]

I’m in the woods placing cardboard cutouts of morels in the leaf litter to trick and bamboozle people

[thesnadger]

Lera Lynn's version of "Wolf Like Me" really belongs next to Johnny Cash's "Hurt" on the list of "covers that make the original sound like the cover."

[thesnadger]

Really on brand for me to get dozens of replies to a post, but only respond to one so that I can tell people about the beholder tongue womb.

[thesnadger]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

[thesnadger]

dungeon meshi but they end up in the back rooms, a cursed idea that was eating away at my brain

[thesnadger]

Yes and no! The "baby beholder" is a gazer. Aside from the size, you can tell because it only has four eyestalks, while true beholders have ten. Gazers are less intelligent and more like pets, and beholders create them by dreaming them into existence.

Beholders reproduce asexually using a womb located under the tongue! Hope that helps!

I have a question about this image of Xanathar's Thieves Guild.

Why does he have sexily lounging elf boys?

I ask because I cannot imagine a beholder being attracted to anything other than itself. Does he just understand Sexily Lounging Elf Boys to be a status symbol, and he wants anyone who visits to know he can afford Sexily Lounging Elf Boys?

Maybe I'm the asshole here for assuming. Maybe these boyfriends are master tacticians here to advise Xanathar, they happen to like wearing leather pants and no shirts and I should be less quick to reduce them to sex objects.

I don't care, I love it, this is all I can think of every time I see it:

[thesnadger]

if you like a piece of media that is good eventually youll more or less run out of things to say about how good it is but if you like a piece of media that is objectively pretty mediocre but also somehow deeply compelling thats how the demons get you

[thesnadger]

Why can't refilling my medication ever be simple?

It's not literally every month there's a problem but it is almost literally every month.

[thesnadger]

People are always like "why do they let Data play poker with them, his brain is a computer, he has an unfair advantage," and the answer is simply because it's for fun!! He's their friend! Like can you imagine if they told Data he can't play, he'd be like "I understand, that's a logical decision, and as an android I am unable to feel left out," but then any time the poker game came up he'd be looking at Riker across the bridge like

[thesnadger]

well now i need a Dungeon Meshi/The Adventure Zone crossover comic with a cultural exchange program where one side brings healthy, meticulous fantasy!Japanese cuisine and the other side brings the most atrocious processed fantasy!American garbage with an ingredients list full of arcane curses

[thesnadger]

"emperor discourse" this and "do illithids have souls" that everyone shut up and stan IGNATIUS INKBLOT

[thesnadger]

The Monster Manual but it's blatantly written by the monsters

[thesnadger]

WAIT A MINUTE. IT'S APRIL 1ST. I SHOULD CHECK THE SCP WIKI.

[thesnadger]

DnD has decades of rich, interesting worldbuilding, and sometimes I'm blown away by all the wild and creative stuff in it.

WITH THAT SAID I swear 40% of the time I see a cool, unique creature or possible antagonist and look up more about it, it's like -- personality: evil, interests: doing bad things, motivation: hates all humanoids for no specific reason.