thesparklingwriter

[thesparklingwriter]

i have no ideas to write anything new so I'm going thru my old works for inspo but also editing them a little bit! anything that's been improved with have the #revisited <3 tag :)

[thesparklingwriter]

words of comfort

" You’re not alone in this world anymore, so please just stop acting like you are.”

word count: 0.8k

original ask

tags: hurt/comfort, kaeya is working too hard and reader says 'no more of that', there's a mild innuendo at the end but i couldn't help it it was the kind of opportunity that i know kaeya wouldn't pass up but I've been so conflicted as to leave in or not because i feel like its too soon but kaeya's also the type of guy to not dwell on things too much after it's solved but i still feel like it might be too soon but we all know he wouldn't pass on an opportunity like that and i'm just going to let you read it

taglist | masterlist

Perhaps Kaeya underestimates how much you notice. He thinks he’s done a fantastic job of hiding how exhausted he is from you, from everyone. He’s been putting a little extra effort into his work, so desperate to prove to himself that he could work harder, that he could take things seriously, he could be better for you. You’d never asked that of him, and he knew you wouldn’t, but something in him made him think you deserved better. And he couldn’t stand the thought of ‘better’ being someone else, so he buried his worries and concerns into his job in hopes he could work them away.

When he finally gets home, he’s convinced that you’re fast asleep already—a fact that doesn’t fill him with excitement. Rather, it increases the feelings of inadequacy he’s been feeling recently. He slumps onto the couch, rubbing a hand over his face and pulling off his eyepatch. 

“Kae?” He hears you coming down the stairs and sits up with a fake casual air.

“Hey, sunshine.” he grins. “How was your day?” 

“It was alright,” you say quietly, reaching to turn a nearby lamp on. He must have been so exhausted when he got in that he didn’t even have the energy to put the lights on. “Yours?”

“Same as usual,” he says, pulling you onto his lap. Being close to you makess him feel like he’s floating in the clouds. You protest slightly, but he ignores you, his hands gently massaging you. “How come you aren’t asleep?” 

You look at him properly then, in the warm light of the lamp, and you curse yourself for not putting a stop to his working sooner. Of course, you noticed he was tired, and coming home later, and you tried your best to comfort him the best way you could without making it too obvious. Sometimes it was staying up late for him, or sneaking into headquarters during the day to bring him lunch or just distracting him a little to force him to have a break, but your efforts clearly haven’t been working, and you’ve left it way too long.

“Kaeya,” you say quietly. “Tell me the truth. Same as usual?”

Kaeya maintains his aloof composure, and if you didn't know him as well as you do, you might have missed the slight twitch in his right eye. “Why the sudden interrogation, hmm?”

“You come home late, you’re so exhausted that you don’t even take your jacket off or turn the light on, and you don’t even make it to bed some nights. I’ve tried to make things more comfortable for you without saying anything for your sake, but it’s not working.” Tears bunch in your eyes as you speak, and Kaeya feels the guilt mounting up again. More than anything, he wanted you to be happy. He didn’t want to bring this to you and he thought he was hiding it well enough.

“Sunshine–”

“No. I’m not going to sit and let you waste away. I care about you so much it hurts. Watching this happen to you hurts. You’re not alone in this world anymore, so please just stop acting like you are.” The tears really start coming then, and you can’t speak anymore. Kaeya quietly pulls you to his chest, gently rubbing circles into your back.

It was never his intention to hurt you this much. To be honest, this was what he was trying to avoid the whole time. You made the long days and short nights bearable, with the smile you gave him every morning, and the patience you had for him. You were healing him in places he didn’t realise he was broken, and somewhere along the line, he had taken that for granted and allowed insecurity to replace the peace he should have felt.

“Kaeya, I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me. You deserve peace, you deserve to be happy. You deserve to sleep at a godly hour.” You pull away to look at him properly, gently wiping stray tears from his face. “Am I that unapproachable?”

“No,” Kaeya replies. “No, you’re not. I just assumed you had better things to worry about.”

“‘Better things to worry about’? The only thing I worry about is you when you throw yourself into work like you’re trying to run away from something. I’m scared for you sometimes, Kae.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you,”  he replies carefully. “My intention was never to hurt or scare you. I just didn’t want to be a burden.”

“You are not a burden. You will never be a burden to me. You never have been. Okay?”

Kaeya nods. You cup his face in your hands, gently planting a kiss on his forehead and suddenly all his worries and insecurities melt away. If he had known that all it took to calm his thoughts would be a few words from you, he would have gone down that avenue first. It would have been significantly less work for him.

“You’re taking a day off tomorrow,” you say quietly. “And we’re getting you out of that stuffy jacket and going to sleep.”

Kaeya smiles softly. “Just my jacket?” He smirks, and you laugh, taking his hand and standing up.

“We’ll see.”

author's note: hello kaeya nation it has been a hot minute ToT

nonnie i cannot apologise enough for my inadequacy in getting back to you on time i don't even know if you're still around, idk if you survived the shadowban of 2023 but i hope you get to see this

taglist: @tartigglez @aixaingela @atlaincorrect

[thesparklingwriter]

an unexpected surprise

tags: smut, omegaverse, afab! reader, omega!reader, alpha!zhongli, consensual somno, pet names, reader is in heat, zhongli is in rut, reader pregnancy in afterword, idk if genuine excitement to start a family counts as breeding kink, I STILL think this is somewhat fluffy if not vanilla

word count: 4k (side note what the fuck)

a/n: is celeste doing a good job of hiding the breeding kink or no

masterlist | taglist

It’s scarily easy to forget, you concede. It’s too easy to just question why your stomach is killing you all of a sudden. Or why that stack of pillows in the living room is calling out your name like a record player on repeat. Or why letting Zhongli go on that work trip last week almost made you want to fall to your knees and beg him not to.

But once you realise it's your heat breaking, it's almost like your body doubles down. With Zhongli returning from his trip within two days, there’s really no point in worrying him with the information. His ever-righteous alpha urges would have him running home in a heartbeat, and you can't be responsible for that. 

So you call in sick to work for the next week, and if anyone knows why, they don’t question you, and you resign yourself to a horrible few days by yourself. You wear Zhongli’s clothes in the hopes that enough of his scent is left behind to cool your impulses a little. Still, it’s only so long before silk is the only fabric your clammy skin can bear, and since his pyjamas have been freshly laundered, there’s really no point in even trying. 

You reluctantly switch to your own clothes again, a silk night dress you've adored since the day Zhongli bought it for you, and focus on building a nest in the spare room to distract yourself. It works so well, in fact, that you wonder how Zhongli will ever fit between the pillows you've piled up —you subconsciously only made it big enough for yourself. The spare room is good because it's the smallest—in fact, it's so small that calling it a room is almost an exaggeration. It was initially an overzealous store cupboard that you ended up forming an affinity to during your heats, and while it was never a badly kept room, Zhongli couldn’t bear the thought of you using a cupboard when you were most vulnerable, so he had it remodelled. It was worth it to him, even if you were only using it 6 times a year.

This would be the third out of six heats this year, and you congratulate yourself on making it halfway through the year without keeling over and calling it quits. But making it through this one would be tricky. One of the many advantages of married life is not having to go through heat alone, and if Zhongli doesn't return home in time, you might explode.

You try to sleep off the anxiety first, surrounded by cooling silk sheets and everything in the house you can find that smells like your alpha, and it works for the first few hours of the night until a heat cramp rips through you and stirs you awake. Zhongli is many things, but above all, he is a doting alpha, and since he has your permission to help you in any way he sees fit during your heats, he has a very good way of satisfying that part of you before a heat cramp can even manifest itself. But since you haven’t experienced a heat cramp to this extent in what feels like years, you find yourself doubled over and whimpering in pain. The waves of agony even have you forgetting how it was that you managed your heats before you found Zhongli and his cool hands and doting kisses and perfect co—

It doesn’t help to think about him, you realise, as another wave of pain shoots through you. If you can make it downstairs to just grab a hot drink, maybe your symptoms will subside enough for you to just take matters into your own hands like you used to, and then you can decide how you want to proceed. So you wait until the waves of pain are retreating, and you take the opportunity to rush downstairs and rifle through Zhongli's stash of teas. He has labelled them meticulously, and even in your dazed, heat-addled state, you know to not disturb it too much. 

You find one that seems to be labelled appropriately and do the worst job of preparing yourself a cup to drink. You know he'd have an aneurysm if he saw you, but times are tough, and he’s not here to help you. He would probably be even more offended by the way you chug the drink, not even pausing to appreciate the notes and intricacies of the flavour as you trudge back upstairs and hope you find the energy for one orgasm to get you through the night.

It's tricky during this phase. Your body only desires carnal pursuits, but your mind is so riddled with anxiety that it feels wrong when you slide your underwear down past your knees, and your other hand gently brushes your nipple. It feels awkward to slip your fingers between your legs, to pretend that it's him who’s fucking you with his fingers, but it works, so you can’t complain. You tell yourself that you’ll clean up before you fall back asleep, but the hours of no sleep are catching up to you, and you fall asleep as you are.

When you wake up again, it's not from a heat cramp or because you need to use the toilet, it's because your heightened senses can hear the front door opening. You take a minute to listen before you panic—Zhongli isn't supposed to be back for another day, but when you realise that it's his steady but hurried footsteps that you hear, the tension leaves your body, and you relax. You don't have the strength to go to him, so you just hope that he finds you here, and he does.

He pushes your door open and glances inside, spotting you curled up in your tiny nest, stressed and anticipating another wave of pain. He feels horrible.

“Oh, my love,” he whispers, walking over to you and taking you in his arms. He carefully nips at your scent glands first and is relieved that from the way you smell, you're in your late preheat, so even though you may have suffered up to this point, it hasn't been the worst your body has to offer. A grateful hum slips from your lips as your eyes close in bliss, and his cool hands against your stomach seem to calm the heat cramp that was building up. “Love, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were coming back anyway,” you reply, clutching at his shirt and capturing his mouth in a desperate kiss. “No need to bother you.”

“There was every need to bother me,” he whispers, gently adjusting the pillows around you on the bed and stripping off layer after layer after layer. He starts with his gloved hands, and the sight has you clenching on nothing, but you're just happy to finally have him to yourself despite your frustration. “You’re my wife, my mate, my omega. It is my job to take care of you. First and foremost.”

He reaches under you to pick you up, but you protest, grabbing his forearm. “I don’t want to move.”

Zhongli is hit with this unyielding wave of desire, so much so that he has to swallow his thoughts of you round with his child down before he speaks.

“Little love,” he shoots back, gently stroking your hair. “I have to take the contraceptive. Should I leave you here?”

“Don’t,” You say. You’d agreed that the next time your heat and his rut coincided, you’d be more thsn happy to explore the idea of having a child, but with the painful realisation that it might not sync up as fast as you want it to, you’re not holding out on luck.

“Beloved,” Zhongli shoots back, devastatingly beautiful, as you pull out the ribbon that holds his hair back. The image in his mind from earlier shoots back into his mind as he quickly contemplates whether he can take your words as they are, given the stage of your heat. If you were further along, you might say anything to get him inside of you again, but right now, he doesn’t think that’s the case. He takes your hand and gently kisses the inside of your wrist, a familiar action that makes you smile lightly.

“Don’t take it.” you repeat. “I don’t want you to take it.” You gently tug the ends of his hair to pull him closer to you, suddenly over-aware of the fact that your scent glands are begging for his attention. “Please.”

“I don’t want you to have regrets later,” Zhongli says quietly, and this time, when he leans in to nip at your neck again, something in his scent tickles the back of your throat, rich and almost spicy, and it makes you cough. His eyes shoot up to yours as realisation dawns on the both of you.

Zhonglis ruts are less common then your heats, with him experiencing only four a year compared to you. And if the last time they coincided was 2 cycles ago…

“Hm,” Zhongli mutters as you pull him into your nest. “That seems to explain things.” He had returned home early from this work trip for a multitude of reasons. At first, it was your reaction to him leaving, and then it was the dreams and constant thoughts of you that proved difficult to handle during important funeral proceedings, and then it was the thoughts of how you would look pregnant the moment he realised you were in heat. He should have realised sooner, instead of ignoring it and letting you suffer thus far.

“Sleepy?” he asks you, as you bury your face into his chest. But the most you do in the way of a response is make a soft humming sound, your omegan senses calmed by the knowledge that your alpha is close. He is upset by the fact that you didn't feel you could reach him when you needed him, but he knows now you need him more than you need an ultimatum. But for the next few hours, it seems like it’s just a waiting game. He is grateful his rut hasn't set in fully, or else the way you nuzzle into his chest might have driven him half crazy.

He gently strokes your hair, unable to tear his eyes from you for a single second—not only because you're the epitome of beauty to him, but also because he has been away, and he wants to take stock of everything. You once joked that he’d probably notice if a strand of hair on your head went missing, and although he’d laughed it off, he wouldn't be surprised if he could.

Your scent slowly begins to shift to something more sweet as you claw at your husband. You're not awake yet, and you won't be for a while, but you’d given Zhongli explicit permission to do whatever he needed to keep you happy during your heats, and he is always eager to please.

Even still, Zhongli takes his cues from you—if you’re grabbing at his face, he’ll kiss you for as long as you want him to, until you escalate things in your heat-addled slumber. And you do, breathy moans punctuating the kiss until you can take no more, and you're grabbing at his hips.

“What do you want?” Zhongli whispers, as he gently rolls you over onto your back. He’s been ignoring his almost painful hardness in favour of doting on you, but he refuses to forgo his manners the moment sex is on the table.

You whine at him, clawing at him some more, and he chuckles, gently pulling your nightgown up to your waist. He clicks his tongue at the sight of you, practically dripping for him, your underwear nowhere to be found, and as much as he wants to dip his tongue into you, he knows it's cruel to play with you in such ways.

“I know, love. I know.” He whispers to you as he gently enters you. You’re so wet that there's almost no resistance, and the breathy moan that slips out of you is almost too much for him to bear. His mind is almost immediately flooding with thoughts of fucking you into the mattress until you’re both so tired that it will take days to recover, but he would never do anything like that unless you were awake. He may have your permission, but he has his own morals.

“Is this what you wanted?” he whispers as you pull him closer, your head thrown back in silent bliss. Your response is in the way you clench around him, the slight whine in your quiet moans, and the way you dig your nails into his back. Gods, he loves it when you do that. And although it drives him near crazy, he keeps a steady pace until he feels his knot growing. He nips at your scent glands again, using the opportunity to whisper in your ear—filthy words that have you orgasming almost involuntarily, and the way you clench on him as his knot settles into place triggers his. 

He pulls you to the side so the both of you can lie down comfortably, and he is convinced that the satisfied look on your face as his knot keeps all of his cum safe inside you is enough to keep it there for another half hour. 

His estimations turn out to be correct, and by the time you begin to stir, his knot is still going strong. He talks to you as you wake, gently reminding you to not move too suddenly. You’re dazed but, more than anything, grateful for him as you pull him tighter.

“Thank you,” is the first thing you say when you wake up, gently planting a kiss on his cheek. The action, albeit mostly innocent, makes his cock twitch inside you, and you've regained enough of your sanity to laugh. “Rut?”

“It seems so.”

“Did you…?” your question trails off as if the process of asking is too tiresome for you. If he had, you would understand, but your anxiety is understandable. If he had taken it, it would mean you would both have to wait again, and Zhongli would be lying if he said that the idea of being a father would be unfavourable to him.

“As per our agreement, I did not.” 

The smile you give him is so… perfect that Zhongli has to look away before his knot returns with a vengeance, and he opts for pulling you into a hug, the cold silk of your dress against his chest. He wants to bathe you before the next round of cramps set in, otherwise, you will be clammy and irritable, and he learned very quickly that you cannot bear any discomfort that he cannot fix by fucking you during your heats.

He wants to run a hand over your belly, but decides against it, for fear of jinxing things, instead settling on pressing multiple kisses to your head. 

“How do you feel?” he asks you. He’s not entirely sure how far into your preheat you were before he returned home and he’s worried that he hasn’t been able to help all of the symptoms as a result.

“Warm,” you whisper. “How come I’m still wearing this?”

“As you remind me every cycle, doing anything but what an omega in heat explicitly asks of you is essentially torture. You didn't ask me to take it off, so I didn’t.”

You pout at him, and he laughs gently at you. His knot has deflated, so he slowly sits up and pulls you into his arms. “Will you fight me if I offer to bathe you?”

You shake your head no, lifting your arms above your head as he carefully drags your nightdress off. He decides to save himself the hassle of trying to get it completely clean and just get you a new one.

The minute your skin is exposed to the cold air, you wrap your arms around your chest, and Zhongli takes personal offence to that, kissing your arms until you move them, and then kissing your breasts, his tongue flicking out to tease your nipples. From the way your nails dig into him, he realises that's just about as far as you’ll let him go with the teasing, so he picks you up and takes you to the bath. It’s easy when you’re as pliant as you are now—any attempt you make to push back is easily combatted with words of praise and a gentle kiss to your head, and before you know it, you’re clean and dry and pressed up against your lover’s cool skin.

“Are you still certain about this?” Zhongli strokes your hair again, gently scratching your scalp in a way that sends satisfying shivers down your spine. “I can still take the contraceptive if you want.” 

“No. I want this with you,” you reiterate, pulling him into another kiss. You expect him to kiss you back softly, the way he usually does, but the fact he’s in rut has slipped your mind, and the way he captures your lips in a fiery kiss has a wave of need rushing through you. You gasp at the way his teeth graze your neck, the way his hands rest against your skin, still so gentle despite the fact you know he wants to be anything but.

A heat cramp comes over you so suddenly that Zhongli barely has the chance to register the change in your scent, but he’s quick to respond to your whimper. It’s cheeky of him, he knows, but he gently slides a hand up your thigh and lets it play with your clit for little more than a few seconds. Judging by how drenched you are, if he’d allowed himself to play for any longer, you might have taken matters into your own hands.

Zhongli whispers your name, although it comes out as more of a growl than a whisper, and you know he’s asking for your permission to take you the way he wants to—the way he craves. And even though he knows you’ll be fine, in fact, when you’re in heat you’re most compatible for a mate in rut, he feels the need to check. So when you reach for him and bite on his neck as hard as you physically can, he takes that as an okay.

It takes every single piece of patience he has to gently place your legs over his shoulder, and slowly sink himself into you. It takes even more for him to maintain a slow pace when you’re looking up at him like that, even more so when you moan his name in the breathy way he loves so dear.

“Safe word?” he asks through gritted teeth, and only when you repeat it back to him does he let himself relax a little. He slides a pillow under your hips, before whispering: “Brace yourself, love.” And even though he warns you, you’re still shocked by how hard his next thrust is—if you hadn't been in heat, it probably would have been enough to send you over the edge. His hands grip your waist so hard that in the back of your mind, you're convinced that it’s going to bruise, but the rest of your thoughts are blank, a dull hum in your head where words are supposed to be.

“Are you still alright?” he asks, as he moves his hands from your waist to your wrists.

“More. please, more,” you reply, and he obliges, quietly pleased with the way your pleas shift from words to loud moans and desperate whimpers.

“You want me to breed you, don’t you?” his voice is impossibly steady, his eyes trained on you in a way that stops you from looking elsewhere, even after he thrusts into you so hard that you want to throw your head back. Your whispered please is so faint that he almost doesn't hear it, but he does feel you clench desperately around him, and he's almost disappointed that he’s knotting you so soon.

The way you look at him is unfair. The way you scream his name as you orgasm is unfair, the way you close your eyes in bliss as he cums inside you is so. Fucking. Unfair. How is he ever supposed to win against you? You could ask him for the world, and he would create it for you.

“Is it safe to assume you’re satisfied now?” he asks you when you’re once again capable of speech.

“For now,” you respond. And even though you know it's bad to keep things from him, you don’t tell your husband that you don’t feel another heat cramp for the rest of the week.

~~~

“It has been less than a second since I stepped over the threshold of this house and you are already jumping on me.” Zhongli laughs as you barrel into his arms. He notes you smell different, but he can’t pick up what he is. As he picks you up, he thinks that you're slightly heavier than usual, but that could just be his muscles being fatigued from moving packed boxes of paperwork all day.

“You’re home early,” you smile, looking down at him. He manages to get his shoes off and walk you over to the living room, where you curl up next to him on the sofa. You have been increasingly affectionate as of the last few months and increasingly horny too, but you have those phases every so often, so Zhongli does not question it.

He very quickly realises you’re wearing the replacement of the silk nightgown he got rid of during your last heat. He made sure it was a one-to-one replacement, but it fits differently on you now. Not a bad difference, it’s a perfect difference, he concludes.

“I missed you, my love.” he kisses you softly. “More than should be humanely possible.”

“I missed you more.” you grin. You sit between his legs, your back against his chest, your head tilted lightly to the side so he can kiss your neck the way he always does. But this time, he hovers before he kisses you, and you use his sudden pause to take his hands and place them on your belly.

Zhongli’s smile is peaceful. he likes the quietness of being with you, especially when youre so soft against him, and you smell so…sweet. sweeter than usual. more perfect than normal.

he blames his reignited obsession on his rut somehow. it isn’t his first, obviously, but it’s the first time he’s been able to truly spend it with a partner. he doesn’t know what else to blame it on, nothing else has changed.

except for when the fruit vendor looked at you the wrong way and he almost wanted to rip the man’s throat out. or when then bakery didn’t have the bread you wanted, and it made you cry and he wanted to destroy it there and then. and maybe crying over the bread was a little melodramatic, but it was about the time where your heat returned, so he couldn’t judge you.

but he could judge himself for wanting to resort to such barbarism.

“how have you been, love?”

“tired. hungry. bored.” you retort, your hands falling over his on your belly.

“then we should find something for us to do.”

“i think we should look at remodelling the fourth room,” you grin, “it’s going to be a really boring 6 months if we use your idea of fun as a bench mark,” you sigh.

“The room that conjoins ours?” Zhongli replies, ignoring your mild insult. his body seems to understand your words faster than he does, as his thumbs gently start rubbing your belly. “so you don’t want an office anymore?”

Your husband's brain has been replaced with a rock, you decide. 

“Li,” you sigh. “how you have survived so long whilst ignoring your instincts is beyond me.” you tilt you head up so you can look at him as you deliver the news. “i’m pregnant.”

You feel his breathing pause for a second, and the silence that descends between you is warm and comfortable as the words register.

“You’re…” Your husband is speechless. He sits up slowly, his eyes trained on you.

“mmhmm,” you reply, as he gently cradles your face and kisses you softly. it’s only when he pulls away from you that you realise he’s crying.

“oh, my darling,” you smile, pulling him into another hug. “you’ll set me off.”

he pulls away to look at you, eyes shining with unshed tears and eternal love.

“i suppose celebrations are in order,” he says quietly, pressing kisses into your hair, your cheeks, and your neck as you giggle at him. "I am certain you’ll be a great mother, deserving of every praise.”

You smile. “And you’ll be a great father.” you reply. “The best father our child could ever ask for.”

© 2023, thesparklingwriter. please do not copy, edit, repost, or translate.

notes: i have plenty of things to blame this on but I wont even start. can smut be fluffy...? is that a thing? is this enough to make u guys forgive my absence ?

[thesparklingwriter]

might just drop the smut i wrote for fate and see if it revives this blog LOLLLLL😭 fate is my passion project but everyone is slow on the uptake so i almost feel like there’s no point sadly 😭 as much as i write for myself i am unfortunately an attention whore and like hearing peoples feedback

[thesparklingwriter]

i can’t believe it’s been like 3 yrs and still haven’t finished zhongli flufftober 😭

[thesparklingwriter]

happy new year everyone!! i haven’t been around much this year but i hope you’ve all enjoyed reading my works 🥹🩷

[thesparklingwriter]

all the money matters easter eggs/fun facts (that i can remember) !!!

1. aether doesn’t go to the wedding :(

2. there’s a twt account for my buildabear Strawberry-Milk

3. yn changes Zhongli’s saved contact name from rex -> rex🧡 -> loml🧡🫧 -> future hubby🧡🫧

4. the songs in chapter 25 are real songs i wrote

5. the album cover for TCAB are the flowers Zhongli gave her on their first redate

6. the group chat name goes from nepo babies -> makoto menaces -> lumine hate club

7. itto has a bug named “bug” in japanese

8. itto constantly forgets to log out of his main acc when he comments

9. Zhongli’s surname is redacted because he doesn’t have one in game

10. the reporting officer of the accident is a member of the inazuman guard in game

11. I(nazuma)-pop mention—it’s Jpop. they make zhongli do a jpop dance. in my head it’s kawaiikutegomen

12. zhongli doesn’t care what happens with the space room, he just enjoys winding yn up a little

[thesparklingwriter]

hello! just wanted to drop by and say that:

you're shrimply the best in what you do!!

|- pawsitivity anon 🐾

oh im blushing, thank you love 🥺

[thesparklingwriter]

don't dwell on the past

'"Please forgive me," he says, kissing your hand lightly.'

tags: pet names, Zhongli is very pure, soft Zhongli, fem!reader, Zhongli and reader are in a relationship, reader and Zhongli fall out, reader tries to sleep on the couch, someone remind me to come back and edit this

masterlist | ao3 link | taglist | next

please do not repost or edit my work. reblogs are greatly appreciated !

i'm also taking ideas for the rest of the flufftober days, feel free to leave any suggestions in my asks, no matter how self-indulgent they may be!

You and Zhongli rarely fall out. To be more exact, you rarely fall out over anything serious. And even when you do, screaming matches and insults are never thrown about, and today is no exception. The problem is that sometimes, quiet, rational words don't do enough to show how you feel, and you wish you could have a good old scream at a wall, just to get rid of the tension. You love Zhongli, you truly do. But he can be really out of touch with you sometimes.

"I really don't like it when you intervene when I'm fighting." you say to him, after a silent journey home. You prefer discussing things at home than out where everyone can hear you. It's probably why you like living in the mountains so much.

"I know.” Zhongli sighs. He'd moved by instinct, driven by his desire to keep you safe. He has to manually override the urges he's gotten used to condoning as an archon, and he tries his best for your sake. Either way, he doesn't want you to think he's making excuses for himself, so he tries to word things carefully. "I should have made more of an effort to respect your wishes."

You nod. "Sometimes it makes me feel like you don't think I'm capable."

"I don't think that. Not at all. I like protecting you because I know it's a luxury, and it’s something you’re more than capable of doing yourself. But I understand." Zhongli says softly. You nod, thankful for his ever-reasonable response, and scold yourself for getting so frustrated. He was only trying to keep you safe, but it felt like he was undermining years of your experience. "I shall think of a compromise so this doesn't happen again."

Zhongli always gets formal when it comes to disagreements. He's driven towards an end solution, to the point when you sometimes have to tell him that you want to feel a little bit sad. Bottling up the emotions doesn't make you feel all too great, especially when it's because you feel unreasonable. "Can we talk about that tomorrow, please?"

He looks at you, sensing that today is one of those days when you want to be upset for a little while. He nods. He'll oblige you for a while longer, but he won't let you go to sleep angry at him. Just as you never let him sleep angry at you. He wonders whether you know you do it, how you always make sure he's okay after an argument, or whether it's a habit burned into your sheer being. He doesn't care. He loves it anyway.

But he also senses that this has been brewing for a little while. There was two weeks ago, when a Fatui skirmisher was about to hit your blind spot and he shielded you. Your complaint on that front was quick surface level—you admitted that you forgot to cover your blind spot. And then there was the week after that when you were in a domain, and he panicked yet again, generating a pillar directly in your line of sight. You'd taken a while to calm down from that one. And finally today. You were going to go out on your own for some practice, but Zhongli couldn't bear the thought of you getting injured, especially against Sumerian enemies you had no experience with. He promised he would only intervene when you told him to, but once again, he panicked and petrified all the enemies in a mile radius.

You understand that he's protective of you, but archons, he can be a little suffocating sometimes.

"I'm going to clean up and get changed," you say to him. You know he'll hover downstairs for a little while and give you your space before joining you in bed. But today, you don't want to be so easily swayed. Maybe a night on the couch is in order.

You grab a light cover from the closet and make your way downstairs. You meet Zhongli halfway, who's in his archon form. You frown to yourself. Zhongli's archon form finds itself displayed to you on various occasions, some of them as domestic as wanting to change a lightbulb, but there are times when it has significance. Like him wanting to release himself of some tension. Is he beating himself up over this that badly?

"Where are you going?" He asks, eyes laced with confusion.

"I think I'm going to stay on the couch tonight. I'm going to think about some things."

Zhongli doesn't seem entirely pleased with that, but he doesn't dare tell you otherwise. He has to give you your space, he reminds himself.

"Alright," he says softly. "Sleep well." He omits the 'love' he usually adds at the end, for fear of making you feel obliged to follow him up the stairs. Your feelings are always his priority. He knew what he was getting into with you, and he refuses for his ignorance or inability to control his own instinct to ruin things.

"You too."

He goes into the room you share before deciding that, if you're not joining him, he'd rather not be painfully reminded of your absence, so he changes course and heads to a spare room with his change of clothes. Usually, he talks to you as you wash your face, or you braid his hair for him before you get too tired, but there are no such intimacies happening today. You've been upset with him for a grand total of three hours and he already misses you.

He quiets his thoughts and crawls into bed. Bad call. The bed in this room wasn't chosen with his eight-foot-tall form in mind. He'll either have to shift back and deal with the repercussions or spend the entire night with half of his body hanging off the bed.

You can't sleep either. You never realised how much you relied on Zhongli's calming effect on you to sleep so peacefully. It's almost embarrassing how much you rely on him, even after a year of being together, to the point when you miss him when he's in a room away from you. You decide that if Zhongli doesn't come downstairs in the next ten minutes, you'll go to him. There's really no point in dragging this on any further. Your need to be a little bit sad has blossomed into feelings of loneliness, and you can't take the extra pain.

"yn?" You sit up, glancing at the staircase. There stands Zhongli, his hair untied, his pyjamas rumpled as if he'd been tossing and turning all night. "May I talk to you?"

Always so formal, you think, before standing up and approaching him.

"I know I'm often overbearing when it comes to your safety," he says softly, taking your hands in his. “And I know it can be frustrating for you. But I promise I will do whatever it takes to restrain myself from inciting this sort of complaint from you again.”

You should be focusing on his words, but you're more distracted by the fact he's on his knees before you, looking up at you with such an earnest gaze.

"Please forgive me," he says, kissing your hand lightly. You slide your hands out of his, and into the hair between his horns. He smiles blissfully, glancing at you through relief-filled eyes. “I can’t bear to spend the night without you by my side.”

"I can't stay mad at you," you sigh. "You're forgiven. You can get off your knees now."

Zhongli chuckles, standing up and pulling you into a hug. "I have a feeling you're trying to hide how much pleasure you found in that."

You roll your eyes and lead him upstairs by his hand. "I'm not hiding anything."

"Fine then, remind me of what I said." Zhongli crosses his arms, and you ignore him, sitting him down on the bed so you can reach his hair. He thinks your ritual of braiding his hair is for his sake, but in reality, if you don't do it, you end up with half of it in your mouth in the night.

"No need to dwell on the past," you quip, leaning down to kiss his neck softly. "All is forgiven, remember?"

a/n there's a whole section that got removed between reader being upstairs and coming back down, I'll fix it at someone point but i blame ao3

[thesparklingwriter]

to be loved by a dragon

tags: fem!reader, implied smut?, we all know what's going on (they r at it‼️), starts wholesome and then takes a sharp turn to the left, mentions of degradation, after care, is this self-indulgent? yes. do i care? no.

word count: 0.2k

taglist | masterlist

Zhongli, who almost can’t believe that it’s you he gets to be with, who sees the looks you get as you walk through Liyue harbour and relishes in the way others admire you—regardless of how many times you tell him how perfect he is to you.

Zhongli, who watches you carefully, watching to see what you like and don’t like, to squirrel it away in a safe corner of his mind and commit to his memory—even though you’ve told him time and time again that he needn’t worry about it.

Zhongli, who rarely ever speaks to you without punctuating his sentence with a sweet name for you, a reminder to you of how much he loves and cherished you and every second he gets with you

Zhongli, who wouldn’t dream of speaking to you the way you ask him to, who questions why someone as perfect as you would want to hear such harsh words, especially from someone who loves you so dearly—despite the fact you’ve begged him to do so more times than you can count on your fingers.

Zhongli, who has his mind fine tuned to every sound you make, who silently matches his movements to your quiet whimpers, gently pushing your hair back from your face as he captures your mouth in a gentle kiss.

Zhongli, whose hips stutter when you look up at him with such love and unadulterated affection, because he doesn't believe he deserves to be looked at like that, and certainly not by you.

Zhongli, who treats you like a princess, running you a bath and brushing your hair as he quietly tells you the stories that he knows you love so dearly, and smiles blissfully when you later return the favour.

Zhongli, who doesn’t believe he’s deserving of a love as pure as yours, but spends every day proving to you that he won’t make you regret it.

© 2023, thesparklingwriter. please do not copy, edit, repost, or translate.

notes: drops this, runs away, buries her face in her pillow and questions all her life decisions up to this point, its not even proofread cause i can't bear to do it, no taglist because i don't plan to make a habit of this :3

[thesparklingwriter]

taking fate into one's own hands

09—acceptance

Word count: 2.5k

navi | taglist | masterlist

“Is there some kind of invisible barrier I am not privy to?” you joke, unfolding the layers of fabric and preparing to hang them up in your closet. They are soft and cool against your hands. A luxury, you remind yourself as your fingers slide over the pink embroidery. It is beautiful and familiar. The familiarity confuses you, and you move one to the next piece.

Zhongli’s response is delayed as his eyes zero in on how you’re unfolding your clothes—into colour piles first, and then you look at each piece in more detail. The action is familiar to him, and even more so is the glint in your eyes as you look over your shoulder at him.

“Does the aforementioned barrier reduce your ability to hear, too?” you add, holding a brown dress with golden embroidery. You had never thought much of earth tones, but this one is so stunning that it almost takes your breath away.

“I apologise. I was preoccupied. It is your space and I did not want to intrude.”

And as much as you would like to deny that it has become your space, a quick look around quickly tells you that it has—it is lived in but in a neat kind of way. You surprise yourself with your emotions nowadays—you actually like your routine here, you enjoy looking out and the Liyuean scenery, and you want to talk to Zhongli.

“That’s sweet.” you reply. “You don’t have to stay out there if you don’t want to.”

He glances over to your desk, at the sealeed letter that rests there. “You finished it?”

You nod, getting up to hand it to him. “Do you know anything?”

“Nothing that is certain.” he replies. You don’t even know why you bother. 

“Do you think my parents made some kind of deal with them?”

“That is a possibility.” he says. And you want to call him out on being secretive and not telling the truth, but the look in his eyes is telling you that he wishes he’d known more, that he could help you more.

And you find yourself staring into those eyes—for longer than is reasonable before you clear your throat. “I should find Alanna.”

“I shall see you at dinner, then.” he says finally, and you smile lightly. There is nothing else for you to say as he excuses himself. As he walks out, Alanna walks back in, brandishing what can only be described as a trove of assorted accessories.

“How on Teyvat do you disappear like that?” you grumble as she urges you into your seat.

Alanna doesn’t reply to your question. “Sit down, please! I heard there’s a new inn opening in Liyue Harbour, and they invited the king to the opening. And I have it on good authority that the king will ask you to accompany him.” 

You glance up at her as she starts fussing with your hair, “He would have asked me earlier.”

“Have you ever considered that the king has nerves?”

“Of steel? Yes, I have.” you sigh. “How long have you known about this opening? Is this why you wanted to dress me up?”

“I found out while I was hunting for hair pieces.” Alanna smiles. “But now I have a perfect excuse to make you look even better since I’m not allowing you to decline the invitation.”

“Alanna!” 

“I see the way you look at him. And I know you. You will wallow in pity for as long as I allow you to. You are allowed to make friends, you are allowed to be happy. Stop denying yourself that because of decisions your parents made.”

You scowl at her, but you allow her to doll you up. You don’t question it when she picks the gold and brown outfit, and the dragon hairpiece. You don’t question the way she hurries you out the door when Zhongli arrives once again to let you know dinner is ready.

“Why the fanfare?” you ask him, noting his hair is braided and his attire is more formal than on usual days.

“It would be impolite to allow you to dress up while I relax in my casual wear.” he replies easily as you both begin the short walk to the dining room. You wonder why he always finds you himself rather than asking one of the palace help to get you.

Your dinner is quiet and amicable. You ask Zhongli about grammar rules, and when you mention that they're similar to an old dialect from when your kingdom was first born, the look on his face changes so slightly that you almost miss it. He asks you to elaborate, and when you do, he is shocked that you sound the same as you used to.

But as usual, he doesn’t address it, and pushes the topic forward. Clearing his throat as he finishes his meal, he speaks.

“I was wondering if you might accompany me on a small outing later. I have been invited to the opening of a new inn and i thought you might appreciate it if i passed forward the invite.”

You blink at him. You expected this, but you didn’t expect him to ask so humbly. “Does the initial invitation extend to me?”

“In a very discreet way, yes. They mentioned provisions for an additional guest. This rarely ever happens.”

“If i am not putting anyone out,” you agree quietly, “I would be honoured.”

The tension in Zhongli’s frame seems to dissipate. “I shall ask someone to alert you when the carriage is ready.”

“Do I need to do anything to prepare?” you ask, and zhongli pauses.

“It is not a political affair.” he says finally. “There is nothing for you to worry about in that regard.”

“Okay.” you say. “I’ll come.”  

~

The carriage differs from the one you were in the first time you came to Liyue, and you are grateful. Although your time here hasn’t been unpleasant, you don’t think you’d be able to cope with reliving your emotions from that morning.

“What's so special about this inn? Do you always get invited to all new openings?”

Zhongli smiles, sat across the carriage from you. Alanna opted to stay home, and Xiao had chosen to make his own way there.

“Not ordinarily. An acquaintance of mine is in charge of the kitchen, and since she has invited me to her previous ventures and most have thrived, she seems to believe that I am a lucky charm.”

You laugh at him. “It’s one thing for her to believe that but another thing for you to indulge it.” You've learnt that there are many complexities to Zhongli’s character. Although he can be firm, there’s a soft side to him bubbling under the surface. A soft side that seems to be coming out more as the days go by.

“She is a dear friend and her joy is contagious," Zhongli says. "You’ll see.”

You feel the beginnings of jealousy build up in your chest, but you ignore it. As far as you’re concerned, you have no claim on him other than on paper. So you glance out the window so Zhomgli can’t see the conflict on your face.

The inn is incredibly popular. There are already people milling about, and although they are waiting for the announcement of the store opening, Xiao catches quite a few people expressing excitement for being in the king's presence. And he even hears a few people mentioning you, the foreign bride—although there was no wedding to be heard of.

And Xiao himself had his concerns, but he was mostly interested in viewing the two of you from the people's perspective.

Even though the carriage is parked a decent distance from the inn due to space constraints, it's easy for Xiao to pinpoint when you're both in the vicinity. Zhongli brings with him an air of tranquillity. But you seem to have the opposite effect. 

There’s a buzz in the air when they catch sight of you, and as it isn't a formal event, there is no one to announce your entry, so speculations ripple through the group. People at the back of the crowd see Zhongli talk to you quietly and urge you forward so you are not walking behind him. They see—but probably don't notice—how he positions himself so you are at the centre of his vision.

They cannot fault your attire or your demeanour. You are not loud or intentionally disrespectful of their culture; there is not a single hair or piece of fabric out of place. And more than anything, the king looks at ease near to you.

Zhongli’s friend darts out of the inn doors, flying out at him as if to give him a hug, but she glances at you and pauses.

And then, even more to your surprise, Zhongli glances at you too, and you conjure up a phrase from the kids books you’d been going through to say you don’t mind.

Immediately she turns to you instead, pulling you into a hug.

“i’m Xiangling, it’s nice to meet you.” her accent is different to Zhongli’s and you feel bad that your grasp of her language is so bad that she has to speak yours.

“It’s lovely to meet you too,” you reply, smiling brightly. You open your mouth to apologise, but Zhongli thinks better of it.

“Xiangling often travels to different nations for ingredients. She enjoys practising her linguistic abilities.” Zhongli lowers his head to speak to you, and his warm breath against your ear makes you shiver. What is happening with you today?

“Already sharing secrets.” Xiangling scoffs. “i never thought i'd see the day.”

Zhongli makes no effort to defend himself. “If a heart doesn’t beat once in it’s lifetime, it cannot claim to be one.”

Xiangling scoffs. “That makes no sense. Come, I want to show you around.”

Xiangling takes you both around the inn, showing you all the suites and important rooms and meal preps and menus. She lets you taste the champagne, and after a while, it all becomes a little too much, so you excuse yourself.

You sip at your flute of champagne, glancing over at the plains. It is bittersweet to see the green and fresh grounds when you know things aren’t so idyllic at home. All the inn does is remind you of your home and how busy it used to be in your palace.

“May i join you?”

“You may.” you reply, as Zhongli rests his hands on the balcony railing beside you. “It’s a beautiful view.”

“But you feel guilty for appreciating it.” He says quietly.

“I know my parents, and despite everything, they would only ever send me away if I was in danger. Whatever they did, whatever deal they made was going to affect me. They’re choosing me over their people. I am the reason my kingdom is dying. And they won’t tell me the truth, so I can’t even help, and I’m scared. I’m so scared that the blood of thousands and thousands of innocent civilians will be on my hands, and I can’t do anything about it.” Your hands begin to shake, and Zhongli takes the glass out of your hand and places it on the deck.

“It will not be on your hands. You are not responsible for your parents actions.”

“Have they replied to my letter?”

“My courier has not returned.”

“This is all my fault.” you sob. “They wouldn’t do this if not for me. I pray their deal was worth it because I don’t know if I can take the guilt.” you wrap your arms around your body as if you can compact yourself with your own hands.

Zhongli is silent for a while, trying to think of any comforting words. But he knows what you need is the truth, and he does not know it.

“Would you like me to hold you?” he says finally and you turn to hug him before he even finishes the sentence. You melt into his arms as he gently rubs your back.

“This is not your fault. Not at all. So please, I beg of you, do not let it make you feel guilty.”

Your knees give way underneath you, and Zhongli follows, using himself to stop your knees from tsking the most of the hit as you sob into his chest. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't ask when you'll be done, and he doesn't try to soothe you with cheap lies and half-truths. His hands cradle the back of your head until your tears have subsided.

“I’m sorry.” you whisper.

“You can feel every single emotion under the sun if you need to. you never have to feel sorry for relying on me.” he replies. “We will figure this out. It will all be as it should..”

You get comfortable in his arms, so much so that when you reluctantly separate yourself from him, the world suddenly feels cold.

“Do not rush yourself.”

“I fear I overestimate your goodwill.” you reply drily, gently rising to your feet.

“No such thing. Do you think you can tolerate the ride home tonight?”

You nod. You would rather sleep in your own bed.

On the carriage ride home, your head lolls against Zhongli’s shoulder as you fall asleep. Acting impulsively, he cradles your head as the carriage flies over a rocky patch. As much as he promised to not let his past emotions influence what he does in this life, he cannot help but be drawn to you. And maybe you’ve begun to do the same over the past few days.

When the carriage draws to a stop, he decides to at least try to carry you if you’ll let him, and if it will keep you asleep for longer, he is okay with doing it. He is surprised by how you turn into him and ignores the look Xiao gives him as he carries you in.

“Might I speak with you?”

“You may. Once she is comfortable,” he replies, almost dismissing Xiao. He grapples with where to let you sleep—he doesn’t want to invade your privacy by taking him into your room, but he doesn’t want to worry you by leaving you in his.

“Surely the obvious choice is to—“

“Is your grand plan to wake her up?” Zhongli shoots back. He decides to risk your scrutiny and leave you in your room. Alanna is nowhere to be found when he opens the door, so he places you in your bed and tucks you in. Suddenly, he feels the urge for more—to stroke your hair, to kiss your forehead… but he regains his composure and excuses himself.

Xiao immediately returns to business as Zhongli is back in his sights. 

“It does not take a genius to observe, but you don't think as negatively of her as you want us to believe,” Xiao replies drily.

“Giving precedence to unrequited emotions is a waste of time.” 

“You wouldn’t give precedence to any emotions if I allowed you the opportunity to do so.” He grunts. “I don’t see why you cannot simply refrain from lying to yourself.”

“I am not lying to myself. I am simply being realistic.” Zhongli retorts, sitting wearily at his desk. “

“She is here anyway. There is no shame in doing something for yourself for once. Allow yourself happiness. It is not a crime to like a woman, you know.”

“Perhaps the fact I like her is the problem.” Zhongli shoots back.

The two men stare at each other blankly until Zhongli clears his throat. “I believe I have a better understanding of the Abyss’ intentions. But if what i suspect is true, i do not know how to solve this problem.”

Neither of them notices you as you leave your room, looking for an entrance to the gardens and catching the tail end of their conversation.

notes: are we all enjoying the celeste resurgence? two posts in the last 2 days like wth who even am I

Taglist: @tartigglez @ainescribe @blue-sapphire-ink @mikashisus @local-lover-boy @osmanthus-wine-addiction @vitanye @peachystea

[thesparklingwriter]

i love that you guys are enjoying my series’ but i’m now on my knees begging pls reblog just one or two posts so i don’t get shadow banned form spam liking again 🥹

my reach on fate is awful enough as it is without being shadowbanned 🩷

[thesparklingwriter]

taking fate into one's own hands

09—acceptance

Word count: 2.5k

navi | taglist | masterlist

“Is there some kind of invisible barrier I am not privy to?” you joke, unfolding the layers of fabric and preparing to hang them up in your closet. They are soft and cool against your hands. A luxury, you remind yourself as your fingers slide over the pink embroidery. It is beautiful and familiar. The familiarity confuses you, and you move one to the next piece.

Zhongli’s response is delayed as his eyes zero in on how you’re unfolding your clothes—into colour piles first, and then you look at each piece in more detail. The action is familiar to him, and even more so is the glint in your eyes as you look over your shoulder at him.

“Does the aforementioned barrier reduce your ability to hear, too?” you add, holding a brown dress with golden embroidery. You had never thought much of earth tones, but this one is so stunning that it almost takes your breath away.

“I apologise. I was preoccupied. It is your space and I did not want to intrude.”

And as much as you would like to deny that it has become your space, a quick look around quickly tells you that it has—it is lived in but in a neat kind of way. You surprise yourself with your emotions nowadays—you actually like your routine here, you enjoy looking out and the Liyuean scenery, and you want to talk to Zhongli.

“That’s sweet.” you reply. “You don’t have to stay out there if you don’t want to.”

He glances over to your desk, at the sealeed letter that rests there. “You finished it?”

You nod, getting up to hand it to him. “Do you know anything?”

“Nothing that is certain.” he replies. You don’t even know why you bother. 

“Do you think my parents made some kind of deal with them?”

“That is a possibility.” he says. And you want to call him out on being secretive and not telling the truth, but the look in his eyes is telling you that he wishes he’d known more, that he could help you more.

And you find yourself staring into those eyes—for longer than is reasonable before you clear your throat. “I should find Alanna.”

“I shall see you at dinner, then.” he says finally, and you smile lightly. There is nothing else for you to say as he excuses himself. As he walks out, Alanna walks back in, brandishing what can only be described as a trove of assorted accessories.

“How on Teyvat do you disappear like that?” you grumble as she urges you into your seat.

Alanna doesn’t reply to your question. “Sit down, please! I heard there’s a new inn opening in Liyue Harbour, and they invited the king to the opening. And I have it on good authority that the king will ask you to accompany him.” 

You glance up at her as she starts fussing with your hair, “He would have asked me earlier.”

“Have you ever considered that the king has nerves?”

“Of steel? Yes, I have.” you sigh. “How long have you known about this opening? Is this why you wanted to dress me up?”

“I found out while I was hunting for hair pieces.” Alanna smiles. “But now I have a perfect excuse to make you look even better since I’m not allowing you to decline the invitation.”

“Alanna!” 

“I see the way you look at him. And I know you. You will wallow in pity for as long as I allow you to. You are allowed to make friends, you are allowed to be happy. Stop denying yourself that because of decisions your parents made.”

You scowl at her, but you allow her to doll you up. You don’t question it when she picks the gold and brown outfit, and the dragon hairpiece. You don’t question the way she hurries you out the door when Zhongli arrives once again to let you know dinner is ready.

“Why the fanfare?” you ask him, noting his hair is braided and his attire is more formal than on usual days.

“It would be impolite to allow you to dress up while I relax in my casual wear.” he replies easily as you both begin the short walk to the dining room. You wonder why he always finds you himself rather than asking one of the palace help to get you.

Your dinner is quiet and amicable. You ask Zhongli about grammar rules, and when you mention that they're similar to an old dialect from when your kingdom was first born, the look on his face changes so slightly that you almost miss it. He asks you to elaborate, and when you do, he is shocked that you sound the same as you used to.

But as usual, he doesn’t address it, and pushes the topic forward. Clearing his throat as he finishes his meal, he speaks.

“I was wondering if you might accompany me on a small outing later. I have been invited to the opening of a new inn and i thought you might appreciate it if i passed forward the invite.”

You blink at him. You expected this, but you didn’t expect him to ask so humbly. “Does the initial invitation extend to me?”

“In a very discreet way, yes. They mentioned provisions for an additional guest. This rarely ever happens.”

“If i am not putting anyone out,” you agree quietly, “I would be honoured.”

The tension in Zhongli’s frame seems to dissipate. “I shall ask someone to alert you when the carriage is ready.”

“Do I need to do anything to prepare?” you ask, and zhongli pauses.

“It is not a political affair.” he says finally. “There is nothing for you to worry about in that regard.”

“Okay.” you say. “I’ll come.”  

~

The carriage differs from the one you were in the first time you came to Liyue, and you are grateful. Although your time here hasn’t been unpleasant, you don’t think you’d be able to cope with reliving your emotions from that morning.

“What's so special about this inn? Do you always get invited to all new openings?”

Zhongli smiles, sat across the carriage from you. Alanna opted to stay home, and Xiao had chosen to make his own way there.

“Not ordinarily. An acquaintance of mine is in charge of the kitchen, and since she has invited me to her previous ventures and most have thrived, she seems to believe that I am a lucky charm.”

You laugh at him. “It’s one thing for her to believe that but another thing for you to indulge it.” You've learnt that there are many complexities to Zhongli’s character. Although he can be firm, there’s a soft side to him bubbling under the surface. A soft side that seems to be coming out more as the days go by.

“She is a dear friend and her joy is contagious," Zhongli says. "You’ll see.”

You feel the beginnings of jealousy build up in your chest, but you ignore it. As far as you’re concerned, you have no claim on him other than on paper. So you glance out the window so Zhomgli can’t see the conflict on your face.

The inn is incredibly popular. There are already people milling about, and although they are waiting for the announcement of the store opening, Xiao catches quite a few people expressing excitement for being in the king's presence. And he even hears a few people mentioning you, the foreign bride—although there was no wedding to be heard of.

And Xiao himself had his concerns, but he was mostly interested in viewing the two of you from the people's perspective.

Even though the carriage is parked a decent distance from the inn due to space constraints, it's easy for Xiao to pinpoint when you're both in the vicinity. Zhongli brings with him an air of tranquillity. But you seem to have the opposite effect. 

There’s a buzz in the air when they catch sight of you, and as it isn't a formal event, there is no one to announce your entry, so speculations ripple through the group. People at the back of the crowd see Zhongli talk to you quietly and urge you forward so you are not walking behind him. They see—but probably don't notice—how he positions himself so you are at the centre of his vision.

They cannot fault your attire or your demeanour. You are not loud or intentionally disrespectful of their culture; there is not a single hair or piece of fabric out of place. And more than anything, the king looks at ease near to you.

Zhongli’s friend darts out of the inn doors, flying out at him as if to give him a hug, but she glances at you and pauses.

And then, even more to your surprise, Zhongli glances at you too, and you conjure up a phrase from the kids books you’d been going through to say you don’t mind.

Immediately she turns to you instead, pulling you into a hug.

“i’m Xiangling, it’s nice to meet you.” her accent is different to Zhongli’s and you feel bad that your grasp of her language is so bad that she has to speak yours.

“It’s lovely to meet you too,” you reply, smiling brightly. You open your mouth to apologise, but Zhongli thinks better of it.

“Xiangling often travels to different nations for ingredients. She enjoys practising her linguistic abilities.” Zhongli lowers his head to speak to you, and his warm breath against your ear makes you shiver. What is happening with you today?

“Already sharing secrets.” Xiangling scoffs. “i never thought i'd see the day.”

Zhongli makes no effort to defend himself. “If a heart doesn’t beat once in it’s lifetime, it cannot claim to be one.”

Xiangling scoffs. “That makes no sense. Come, I want to show you around.”

Xiangling takes you both around the inn, showing you all the suites and important rooms and meal preps and menus. She lets you taste the champagne, and after a while, it all becomes a little too much, so you excuse yourself.

You sip at your flute of champagne, glancing over at the plains. It is bittersweet to see the green and fresh grounds when you know things aren’t so idyllic at home. All the inn does is remind you of your home and how busy it used to be in your palace.

“May i join you?”

“You may.” you reply, as Zhongli rests his hands on the balcony railing beside you. “It’s a beautiful view.”

“But you feel guilty for appreciating it.” He says quietly.

“I know my parents, and despite everything, they would only ever send me away if I was in danger. Whatever they did, whatever deal they made was going to affect me. They’re choosing me over their people. I am the reason my kingdom is dying. And they won’t tell me the truth, so I can’t even help, and I’m scared. I’m so scared that the blood of thousands and thousands of innocent civilians will be on my hands, and I can’t do anything about it.” Your hands begin to shake, and Zhongli takes the glass out of your hand and places it on the deck.

“It will not be on your hands. You are not responsible for your parents actions.”

“Have they replied to my letter?”

“My courier has not returned.”

“This is all my fault.” you sob. “They wouldn’t do this if not for me. I pray their deal was worth it because I don’t know if I can take the guilt.” you wrap your arms around your body as if you can compact yourself with your own hands.

Zhongli is silent for a while, trying to think of any comforting words. But he knows what you need is the truth, and he does not know it.

“Would you like me to hold you?” he says finally and you turn to hug him before he even finishes the sentence. You melt into his arms as he gently rubs your back.

“This is not your fault. Not at all. So please, I beg of you, do not let it make you feel guilty.”

Your knees give way underneath you, and Zhongli follows, using himself to stop your knees from tsking the most of the hit as you sob into his chest. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't ask when you'll be done, and he doesn't try to soothe you with cheap lies and half-truths. His hands cradle the back of your head until your tears have subsided.

“I’m sorry.” you whisper.

“You can feel every single emotion under the sun if you need to. you never have to feel sorry for relying on me.” he replies. “We will figure this out. It will all be as it should..”

You get comfortable in his arms, so much so that when you reluctantly separate yourself from him, the world suddenly feels cold.

“Do not rush yourself.”

“I fear I overestimate your goodwill.” you reply drily, gently rising to your feet.

“No such thing. Do you think you can tolerate the ride home tonight?”

You nod. You would rather sleep in your own bed.

On the carriage ride home, your head lolls against Zhongli’s shoulder as you fall asleep. Acting impulsively, he cradles your head as the carriage flies over a rocky patch. As much as he promised to not let his past emotions influence what he does in this life, he cannot help but be drawn to you. And maybe you’ve begun to do the same over the past few days.

When the carriage draws to a stop, he decides to at least try to carry you if you’ll let him, and if it will keep you asleep for longer, he is okay with doing it. He is surprised by how you turn into him and ignores the look Xiao gives him as he carries you in.

“Might I speak with you?”

“You may. Once she is comfortable,” he replies, almost dismissing Xiao. He grapples with where to let you sleep—he doesn’t want to invade your privacy by taking him into your room, but he doesn’t want to worry you by leaving you in his.

“Surely the obvious choice is to—“

“Is your grand plan to wake her up?” Zhongli shoots back. He decides to risk your scrutiny and leave you in your room. Alanna is nowhere to be found when he opens the door, so he places you in your bed and tucks you in. Suddenly, he feels the urge for more—to stroke your hair, to kiss your forehead… but he regains his composure and excuses himself.

Xiao immediately returns to business as Zhongli is back in his sights. 

“It does not take a genius to observe, but you don't think as negatively of her as you want us to believe,” Xiao replies drily.

“Giving precedence to unrequited emotions is a waste of time.” 

“You wouldn’t give precedence to any emotions if I allowed you the opportunity to do so.” He grunts. “I don’t see why you cannot simply refrain from lying to yourself.”

“I am not lying to myself. I am simply being realistic.” Zhongli retorts, sitting wearily at his desk. “

“She is here anyway. There is no shame in doing something for yourself for once. Allow yourself happiness. It is not a crime to like a woman, you know.”

“Perhaps the fact I like her is the problem.” Zhongli shoots back.

The two men stare at each other blankly until Zhongli clears his throat. “I believe I have a better understanding of the Abyss’ intentions. But if what i suspect is true, i do not know how to solve this problem.”

Neither of them notices you as you leave your room, looking for an entrance to the gardens and catching the tail end of their conversation.

notes: are we all enjoying the celeste resurgence? two posts in the last 2 days like wth who even am I

Taglist: @tartigglez @ainescribe @blue-sapphire-ink @mikashisus @local-lover-boy @osmanthus-wine-addiction @vitanye @peachystea

[thesparklingwriter]

are there any love and deepspace enjoyers around here...

[thesparklingwriter]

YES I POSED THE FINALE YESTERDAY

EVERYBODY SAY MONEY MATTERS

[thesparklingwriter]

oh me too i’m sad it’s finished :(

EVERYBODY SAY MONEY MATTERS

[thesparklingwriter]

EVERYONE BE MORE LIKE CAEL :3

EVERYBODY SAY MONEY MATTERS