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[thestripedraven-blog]

Love At Lost Sight

Chloe. Beautiful blonde hair that draped behind her, even when she had it in a bun she looked regal. Her skin was soft and smooth and her cheeks were perfect. Her lips were soft and a beautiful shade of pink, her emerald green eyes were captivating, if you looked into them it was like looking into a calm lake with a reflection only the best cameras could capture. She was 17 years old and at first seemed to hold wisdom way beyond her years but in reality, she was still a fragile little girl. Her confidence oozed and she turned heads when ever we walked hand in hand.

I had met Chloe online on a forum which complained about noise pollution from the nearby airport a few miles down the road from her. In all honesty, I had joined the forum just after Chris’s untimely passing, to poke fun at the idiots that chose to live under a flight path. I mean come on, the airport was older than the majority of the buildings where Chloe lived. The town where she lived originally used to be a village, much like the surrounded towns but had rapidly grown into a thriving area due to its proximity to the airport, motor ways and the near by trading estates. 

I remember posting a topic discussion about choosing to live under a flight path and Chloe messaged me privately. After a few choice words we got to know each other over the course of a couple of days and before I could say “Move to the country side” she had proposed that we met up for a drink. I couldn’t believe my luck, a girl had never asked me on a date before, In fact, I don’t believe I had ever been on a date before. We had exchanged photos in our private chats and she was full of compliments. In my own mind, I’m not a looker at all and I couldn’t fathom as to why she wanted to meet. But meet up we did and we spent hours chatting away like we were long lost friends, we had an instant connection and it was wonderful. I had never really loved a girl before, never wanted to devout my time, energy and money to them but Chloe was different. She left me with butterflies in my stomach and I couldn’t wait to see her again. When would that be? I had no idea, should I give her my number? Should I ask for hers? As this was racing through my mind, she took it upon her self and entered her number into my phone and asked me to call her in the morning. All night I thought about her, i wondered what her house was like, what her past was like, what her friends were like and what they’d think about me. I wondered if her father would approve or if her mother would like my charm. 

The next morning, I called as soon as I woke up, her soft angelic voice sending vibrations through my body. She mentioned she was cooking a Sunday lunch for her mother and brother and asked if I would like to come over to meet them. I didn’t hesitate and said yes straight away. As i entered her abode, i joked about the overhead planes making such a racket and she just smiled at me and put her hand on my right forearm. I enjoyed lunch and we had great topics of discussion after which we sat down in the living area to talk some more. Chloe cuddled up next to me and that’s when I noticed her mothers glare.

Her mother seemed nice on the surface and was always nice to me, but she was clearly jealous of our budding relationship, even though it was only a few days old. She clearly didn’t like the affection her daughter was showing me and didn’t like the way her son laughed at my jokes and looked at me with pure excitement. Later in the evening, she described how the father of her children had left them and had run away with another woman to the continent, how he had beaten her black and blue and almost killed her. Since then, she’d created a strong family unit and clearly saw me as some kind of threat.Sadly, in later years her tight family unit would fall apart with both Chloe and herself disowning the son, Dwayne. She sold her house without telling either of her children and ran away to the city, to live with a man she had met online. The last I heard was that she was beaten to a pulp on numerous occasions before deciding to end that relationship. Upon hearing this news, i concluded that she probably deserved it.  Later on that evening, around 8:00 PM. She even told me she was a medium. “Oh, this will be interesting” I thought to myself and she went on to tell me about the people she helped, living and non living, She said she could read minds and could read me like a book, “Oh really?” I thought “If you could read my mind like you claim, you’d know all about Chris and wouldn’t let me any where near your daughter”.

As the evening wore on I said I must take my leave but Chloe refused to let me go and insisted I stayed. It was her mothers house and after a brief moment of silence, She said I could sleep on the pull out couch. That evening, Chloe and I explored each others body’s but sadly, Chloe fell asleep before we could elope. I woke up the next morning with Chloe in my arms and her mother sitting on the couch, looking at me and smiling although I could tell she wasn’t happy.

For the next three months, Chloe and I were together almost every hour of every day. We took her mother places, her brother and genuinely had a good time. We were a match made in heaven but had yet to have full blown intercourse. The end of the relationship began when Chloe started to say she needed time alone, that some of her friends liked me but didn’t approve of the relationship. I was talking to her mother one evening, whilst Chloe was out with a friend and she said I would have a hard time taming her daughter, she was a free spirit and maybe we she go forward into our lives without each other. I had been led into a trap. I hadn’t done anything wrong, I was loving and caring, I was never forceful and always respectful. What had I done wrong? I decided that I hadn’t done anything wrong and Chloe was letting out side influences change the course of her mind.

Chloe broke up with me the next day without any explanation. Years later I would learn one of her friends liked me and said to Chloe that I had expressed a desire to end my relationship and enter one with Sally, Chloe’s best friend. I guess she didn’t want to be hurt again like when her father had left the family. 

I was devastated, I honestly believed I loved Chloe and couldn’t see any reason for the abrupt end to the relationship. I was lost and had nothing to do. My bank balance had taken a beating during my time with Chloe. I used to go around the shopping centres where she used to hang around and once I even purchased a new sim card to contact her, but she saw through the straight away. I just wanted a reason as to why I was no longer in her life! One time, I was dropping a friend off to near where she lived and the only reason I was there dropping my friend off was to see if I could get a glimpse of my princess. Sadly, I didn’t see her but her mother saw me as i drove past the local petrol station. I received an angry phone call minutes later telling me to keep away and although I tried explaining that I was dropping a friend off, it wouldn’t wash with her. She saw straight through me.

On Tuesday and Wednesday evening, Chloe would jog down a country side footpath, which used to be a rail track back in the 1800′s during the industrial revolution. It had high banks and steep inclines and not many people used it, apart from the odd runner and couples walking their dogs. For the space of a month, I spent every evening between 6 pm and 10 pm just hiding in the bushes. I saw an old couple walk their two little terrier dogs every day around 6:30 pm, they must’ve had their dinner and then taken their dogs for a walk. There were numerous joggers every evening with the same group of people, they must’ve been in a running club. There wasn’t much foot traffic at all and no one noticed me, not even Chloe who would be running in the jogging gear i had purchased her. Black Nike trainers with a pink line running along side the pink Nike tick symbol, tight black bottoms and a tight pink top, making her perfect breasts look even better than they were. She had her hair tied back and carried my water bottle that I had given to her. The thing that struck me was the routine of every one, I got to the point where I knew what people were coming down the footpath. When Chloe ran past, there was no one around for approx 34-38 minutes. I don’t know why I was there, I didn’t want to kill her or even jump out on her. But one Tuesday evening I decided this would be my last visit to the area. I had no intention of doing anything and I dressed in my usual black attire. I parked over two miles away and made my way through rough terrain to get to my usual peeking spot, something I done every single time, so Chloe wouldn’t see my car. This time was different because I took rope with me. And I have to be honest, that rope wasn’t for Chloe’s neck, it was for mine. I wanted to hang myself and have her find me, scarring her for an eternity. I saw the group of runners, the old couple walking their dogs and then in the distance I saw the pink top gradually getting closer. The wind blew gently and I waited, it was too late to hang my self as I hadn’t even rigged the rope up. As she got closer, the anger in side me grew. Why should I end my own life because she was a bitch? NO! It is her that should pay the ultimate price! 

I laid down in position, listening to her footsteps as she got closer. I peaked up the track again and noticed she was wearing a cap, hiding her lovely golden hair. Was that from another suitor? another guy? Had she left me to pursue a relationship with some one else? were the thoughts running through my mind, as she got closer to her demise. She was within arms reach when I jumped out on her, dragging her down the steep incline and muffling her cries with my hand. The cotton gloves I was wearing ensured no noise escaped her mouth. I was behind her at every moment, bear hugging her so she couldn’t move, she was like a fly stuck in a spiders web. I managed to pull the rope from my pocket and swiftly put it around her neck. She was laying face down on the floor with my legs wrapped around her, much like you’d see a python suffocate their prey. I tightened my grip on the rope and pulled back, looking into the pink evening sky where white clouds were slowly gliding above the tall trees, to a destination unknown to any one but themselves. Chloe stopped struggling within a few minutes, her last motion was letting her hands dropped as she clung onto the life she was losing. I kept the pressure on her neck for a few more minutes after she had stopped any movement. I then released my grip, the adrenaline running through my body was fantastic and I felt so alive, Unlike Chloe it would seem, who was face down on the ground, motionless. I noticed the smell of...well, shit. Chloe had only gone and lost control of her bowels! I was disgusted as i turned her over, her eyes were blood shot, her face was a dark purple colour and her stunning pink lips had turned to a soft shade of blue. She looked alot different than I remembered, so much so I wondered if it was her. During the struggle, her hat had fallen off and when I stopped looking at the dreadful bruiser around her neck, I noticed her hair. It wasn’t blonde but pure black. Oh dear, this wasn’t Chloe. Ooops. I looked at her breats and it was clear they didn’t belong to Chloe, her eyes were a little more slanted, even though her eye balls were bulging out of their sockets. The mouth was a little more plump and her stomach a little more podgy. I didn’t feel any regret as I looked down at the lifeless stranger, just sorrow it wasn’t Chloe. I left the scene, chucking my black clothing into some ones bin 4 miles away, before going home to sleep. 

When I woke up in the morning, I logged onto the new public profile system that was taking the world by storm, Facebook, and entered her name. Just minutes before I woke up, she had posted a status saying she was still not well and could some one bring her some more flu capsules. I scrolled back to the previous day and she had uploaded a photo of her laying on the pull out sofa I had slept on a few months previous. She was wearing one of my hoodies and looked sorry for her self and she looked revolting. I logged out of Facebook and from that day on, Chloe was dead to me.

So who was this female I killed? I had no idea, absolutely none. Her death wasn’t in the news until two months later when some children, who were building a den, found her body in the under growth. A few days after the initial news bulletin, she was named as a local Doctor and her husband had been arrested for her murder. It turns out that she had left him and had to get a restraining order after he turned violent. Witnesses came forward from the pubs he drank in saying that he mentioned how he would end her, make her life a misery etc. The trial was due to take place about a week before he was found hanging in his prison cell. The lesson I learnt was that I had to be more careful. Taking a human life was such a buzz, it was turning into my favourite thing and if I wanted to continue, I would have to be more careful and certainly not dump my clothing in a some ones bin. What if my victim was happily married? No doubt the authorities would’ve found my clothing. The circumstances were in my favour and I knew I had to be alot more careful going forward. Because I was going to take another life at some point.

Going forward with my memoirs, they will be released onto a facebook page as well and I will only write about certain experiences that I feel need publishing. As you read this, I am writing about the deaths I have caused abroad, namely in Belgium, Germany and the United States. They didn’t happen at the same time, but I want to talk about them. The one in the United States is a particular favourite of mine.

Until next time, Regards.

[thestripedraven-blog]

Second to the table!

About seven months had passed by since I’d hit and killed the cyclist. After the man had been cremated, I received a nice cheque through the post, from my insurance company. I’d also received a sum of money from the man’s family to try and ease the burden of the situation. In no way did they blame me for the accident and if anything, they were feeling guilty of putting me through such an experience. Truth be told, it really didn’t bother me one bit and over the days, weeks and months, i kind of forgot about it but the money received was welcomed. 

I managed to pay of some small debt, purchase myself a newer vehicle and save a friends life. Chris had called me on my mobile phone crying his eyes out, his life was in danger and he didn’t know what to do.

Chris and I had known each other since nursery and had gone through the school system together, we were in the some football team, same drama classes and even joined the army cadets with one another. Our parents used to joke that we were like a married couple. We played the same video games and when online gaming became popular, we would play together when ever we had the time. As we got older, we both had our first sexual experiences in the same night. We were at some random party and we had hooked up with these two girls from out of town. By the end of the night we had grown from boys to men!

The online gaming would continue and so would our weekend partying. We both experienced alcohol together, we were drunk and hung over together. We got to the point were would would see who could sleep with more girls, who could conquer more and as far as i remember, our scores were pretty close if not even. It was at one of these parties that we would meet two girls who introduced us to something that would see our lives go in complete and opposite directions. 

Cocaine. I didn’t really get a buzz and couldn’t see the attraction to the drug especially when I heard from one of the girls how much it costs. “F*ck that!”I thought to myself, I could buy the latest video games with that kind of money. Chris however, loved it. Every Friday and Saturday night he would be somewhere doing cocaine, Friday and Saturday evenings would then stretch to Sundays and before long, I had heard he had lost his job for not showing up. Evidently, he was on a constant cocaine binge or a come down. 

I remember being in a pub one night and bumped in to a friend of Chris who told me he was worried about Chris. He had turned to Heroin and was a right state. Apparently his parents had paid thousands to put him through rehab but as soon as he was out, he would binge again. They would try ‘tough love’ and kicked him out of their home. They didn’t want to see him on the streets so they paid 3 months rent at a property in the less than desirable part of town, hoping this would make him see sense. The truth is, this was paradise for him because he was surrounded by like minded people, scum, and if he wasn’t high, he was asleep. 

The next evening is when I received the phone call from Chris. He told me he had no food, no clothing (apart from what he was wearing), no electricity and no money. I told him to call his parents or sister but they’d all gone on a family holiday to Turkey. I asked him why he had no money and he blurted that he had been stupid and lost his job. He said he was addicted to the drugs and needed help. I thought to my self he’d been to rehab but that wasn’t the help he was looking for. He had literally two hours to find money to pay his dealer otherwise he would get ‘it’. He needed 5 grand. I asked who his dealer was and he mentioned a name that was familiar, low and behold it was one of my brothers’ good friends. Some one i would never have guessed was in the drug business. I told Chris i would be over within the hour with the money, I mean the guy was a childhood friend and i kind of disassociated myself from him when he started participating in drug usage, maybe I should’ve been more pro active. As he was talking, good memories came back to me, from school trips to join family holidays. 

You may be asking yourself who the hell has five grand in cash just ready to dish out? Well, I did because i’d always dreamed of going into a bank and ordering a large sum of cash. It was nothing special. Never the less, I drove to where Chris was living and he met me outside, the idiot never even invited me in for a coffee. Then again, he probably didn’t have any, hell the guy didn’t even have any food. Chris hugged me and said thank you. I looked in his eyes and held him tight, I said “Bro, we’re going to get you better. Sort your shit out and tomorrow we begin to pull you from the hole you’ve dug yourself”

I felt confident. On the way home I decided to pop in and see my brother, who made me the best steak I had ever tasted. I was chilled out and my brother offered me a beer, needless to say, one turned into two and so on. Later in the evening, one of my brothers friends dropped in and handed him a bundle of cash. I knew the guy, it was Chris’s dealer. Without hesitation I asked i Chris had made his payment. 

“What payment?”

What payment? You kidding me? I learnt over the next few minutes that Chris never owed any money, he always paid up front for his drugs. That bundle of cash was mine! I was so outraged that I never even questioned as to why my brother was receiving the cash. How was Chris getting this money? He had nothing to sell any more and no job. Oh, he was playing on peoples emotions! I suddenly sobered up and said good bye to my brother and his friend, speeding off in pure anger.

I arrived at Chris’s resident, ignoring all the rubbish in the hall way. The carpets were stained, cigarette ends were all over the place, the whole premises was filthy and I was pretty sure that I could smell human shit in the living room. That is where Chris was, alone, laying on his sofa and groaning. He didn’t even know I was there. His eyes were glazed and he was on a total different planet. On the floor next to him was a used syringe which I picked up. I looked at the state of the place and decided maybe I should clean up a little and deal with Chris once he slept off his drug induced psychosis. I looked under the kitchen sink for some black trash bags but there was nothing there, just ‘Supa-Kill’ which was a liquid formula to kill rodents. It was industrial strength. Now, you must be thinking why on earth would any one have industrial vermin killer in their kitchen? When a property or small area is this filthy, it attracts vermin such as rats. They feast on left over food and human shit! It’s easier to leave poison out for the vermin than it is to have a little bit of respect for yourself and clean! I guess the reason why Chris hadn’t been eaten alive by the rats was because he used this poison to kill them. 

I looked at the syringe and I looked at the poison. I didn’t think about anything, i automatically plunged the syringe into the side of the container and filled it with the poison. I marched into where Chris was laying and without any hesitation I plunged the needle into his thigh, a vein was still protruding and was an easy target. At least I didn’t have to mess around trying to find a half decent entry point. Chris didn’t even flinch, his eyes were closed and he was still breathing. I went back to the kitchen to collect the poison and administered seven more injections of the poison. Each time, Chris didn’t move, didn’t open his eyes, didn’t flinch, he just snored. I watched him for a while and his breathing became a little shallow, he seemed so peaceful. There was no noise from outside, Chris had stopped snoring, it was beautiful. I waited for him to start jerking around, foaming at his mouth, bleeding from his eyes but there was nothing. He simply just stopped breathing, he didn’t take a deep last breath nor try clinging onto life. What a let down, I had been robbed by Chris earlier on in the evening and had been robbed by him yet again. I wanted him to suffer and he didn’t.

I whipped the syringe down and placed it in his hand and left the poison next to him. I left the property and went home to bed. I didn’t hear anything of his passing until a few days later when I received a call from his somber father. He had no emotion in his voice when he told me Chris had over dosed and passed away, the coroner believed that Chris was so high that he’d injected the poison into his system himself, in a short amount of time. There was no sign of foul play. Months later at his inquest, it was said that his death was caused by an accidental overdose of Heroin and other substances. 

My next entry into this journal will tell you of how I murdered my third victim, the feelings that went through my and why I done it.

[thestripedraven-blog]

Why did I become so?

Hello and welcome to my blog.I have the urge to tell strangers my story, of how i became and why i became.

 I sit here at the end of a particularly dreary end to the summer month of August, watching National Geographic. How on earth did that prompt me to begin writing this blog, knowing that strangers may or may not read this? Well, I’m watching a series on ‘Serial Killers’ and as scores of law enforcement, psychologists give their views, i realize they’re somewhat generalizing here. Most of the serial killers they are analyzing are clearly insane and most certainly aren’t cut from the same piece of fabric that I am!

As they describe their subjects, I am trying to find some similar traits or history but I cannot find it. Some of these people were subject to severe neglect and abuse in their younger years, some enjoyed torturing or killing animals. This made me think back to my childhood and i had a superb up bringing, surrounded by not only loving parents but a loving extended family as well. We went on yearly holidays at home or abroad, we enjoyed birthdays and Christmas with each other. I was never abused nor did i ever want to torture or maim creatures. In fact, to this day, I have never been in a serious argument let alone a street fight!

So how did i become? Why do I belong in the same bracket as psychos and killers? Because I enjoy taking another persons life. 

During the course of this blog, I am going to detail each and every one of my kills, in no particular order and explore my feelings.

In my first two blogs, I will detail my first two victims. A cyclist and one of my friends. 

I was 18 years old and had been driving for approx 6 months and I loved it. It gave me so much freedom and if I wasn’t at work or in bed, I was cruising the roads up and down the country, some times I would drive hundreds of miles just because I could. It changed my life, like it does most, if not all teenagers. 

It was early on a Monday morning, during the Autumn when the leafs had turned orange and brown, having escaped the trees. If I remember correctly, there had been a slight rain in the early hours of the morning which made the roads a little greasy. I was off from work so i decided to drive a few miles to the country side, winding down my window to let the cold outside ear kiss my cheeks, and generally appreciate nature. I wasn’t speeding because I could simply not afford any insurance hike that would’ve naturally happened if I had been in an accident.

The sun was beautiful, especially when i drove through a forest. Now, this forest is some where i knew like the back of my hand, spending much of my youth in there on my mountain bike, conquering the mud tracks with no fear. Some times I would speed up and down the roads with out a care in the world. As i was approaching an area called Devil’s canyon, a place earned it’s name due to the amount of people who’d lost their lives there, the road was covered in wet leaves. As I began to drive up the incline leading to Devil’s Canyon, my wheels struggled to grip the road beneath them and the car become a little harder to control but that was fine, I wasn’t speeding and was in control. I slowly approached a sharp bend in the road, which would take you back on your self and continue up the incline, when out of nowhere, I saw a yellow blur tangled in metal come hurtling towards me. I put my foot down on the breaks but my vehicle kept on sliding on the greasy surface and seconds later, there was a loud thud and my car jolted to an abrupt halt. Without thinking, I applied the hand break and jumped out of my car. I looked down and there was a mangled bicycle directly underneath my car along with its rider. I wont describe his injuries in detail because it was pretty grim, he wasn’t wearing a helmet so the top half of his head was, well, kinda gone. His arms and legs were bent into positions that not even the most flexible of person could imitate. His fluorescent yellow jacket wasn’t so yellow any more, it was a mixture of claret and deep black which had come from the underside of my car. 

I panicked, I couldn’t believe what had happened and in all honesty, I began to cry. To this day, i cannot remember calling the emergency services but to their credit, they were on the scene pretty quickly. I remember seeing an ambulance, two police cars and a fire engine before a policeman approached me and placed me under arrest. Under arrest? for what? i protested and the policeman calmly replied, for dangerous driving. I gave a breath sample in the back of the police vehicle, which came back negative. I was then swiftly taken from the scene and around ten minutes later, I was in a police cell. I won’t go into details of what it was like because it was pretty boring, the walls were white and there was a steel door, a bed i wouldn’t let a dog sleep in and a dirty old toilet. It was my word against a dead mans, turns out he was wearing a body camera which the police had retrieved and viewed before they even bothered to question me. I was still in a state of shock when i gave my versions of events and all though they were a little hazy, they pretty much echoed the story that the man’s body camera told.

Over the coming days, I simply sat in my bedroom, in the darkness, thinking about the cyclist. What was his family feeling? Would they blame me? What about my car? But these thoughts were soon replaced with “I’ve taken a mans life. He is no longer on this earth because of me”. At first, it was a hard thought to digest, a hard though to accept but as the hours turned into days, something deep inside of me liked it. It liked that feeling. My tears stopped flowing and gradually my face became emotionless and by the time I stepped out of my bedroom, I was smirking. I took some one’s life and it felt good! I had no remorse for my feelings or my victim. Hell, it was his fault for losing control of his bike and falling into the path of my vehicle. 

I did still feel guilty for his family though, he had left two young children, a wife and parents. Some time later, there was a knock at my door and it was the police, who asked me if i would meet the cyclists wife. I don’t know why but I said yes, straight away. 

The meeting was held the next day at the same police station I was taken to after the accident. I sat in a room and one of the staff members told me exactly what would happen, the mans wife would be escorted in, we would talk for a little while before she would be escorted out of the room. I did mention I was worried about being attacked, because after all, i had killed her husband, whether it was an accident or not, As I waited, I wondered what I would do if I was in her position and the truth be told, I would have wanted some form of revenge. Then she came in, her blonde hair was knotted and looked as if she hadn’t showered for days, hey eye liner had already started to run under the pressure of tears streaming from her eyes. She was wearing a green knitted jumper and blue denim jeans. I noticed she had a lovely figure and as she approached me, I stood up. We embraced and she cried into my shoulder, howling and saying sorry. She said sorry for putting me through this. On the outside, I said I’m sorry for the accident, I wish it had never happened, I’m sorry. She repeated she was sorry. On the inside, I absolutely loved it. That feeling inside was raging, I was in glory, I knew my thoughts and feelings were wrong but that only amplified that thing inside. It was wrong but I enjoyed it. My actions had made this lady a mess, no doubt her family were in the same position and I absolutely reveled in it. It put a smile on my face. I never saw her again after that and wouldn’t have any idea of what or how she’s doing today, but I felt great. And guess what? I received a nice sum of money for my car and ‘emotional distress’ suffered because of the accident.

At this time, I wasn’t thinking of taking another life, I was far from it, I had money to enjoy and ultimately, this money would lead to the downfall of one of my friends.