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A Collection of Greek Keywords for Hellenic Pagans (kharis, miasma, etc.)

Kharis:

Kharis means 'grace' or 'favour' and it is in reference to the reciprocal nature of our relationships with the gods.

Liddell and Scott describe it as, "A grace or favour felt on the part of the doer but more frequently on the part of the receiver in the form or thankfulness and gratitude."

It essentially means a favour done in delight. This can be both the offering we give to the gods, and the favours and blessings the gods bestow upon us.

Kharis is both the action of offering and worshipping and also what is built between a worshipper and a god through the actions of offering and reverence. It can be used like this:

'Giving an offering to the gods is an example of kharis.'

Or:

'I have built up kharis with Apollo over the years.'

Khaire/khairete:

Khaire or khairete are words that mean 'hail', 'farewell', or 'blessings'.

It can be used to greet someone, either as hello or farewell (I use it at the end of some of my posts). It can also be used at the end of a prayer.

Khaire is used to address one person or god, and khairete is used to address a group.

Miasma:

Miasma means 'stain', 'pollution', 'defilement', or 'stain of guilt'.

It is a type of spiritual pollution that a person or a place can collect through either happenstance or deliberate action. It makes us spiritually unclean but there is no damnation involved in miasma and thus is not similar to sin. Sin is more comparable to agos, which is mentioned later.

We tend to collect miasma while going about day-to-day life, almost like getting our hands dirty while working. The stain it refers to is always one of a spiritual nature; miasma is a strictly spiritual concept.

It makes a person or place ritually impure, hence it is inappropriate to interact with the divine while in a miasmic state. The gods are said to reject the offerings of a miasmic person or to vacate a miasmic place until it is cleansed.

Human blood is also considered to be miasmic when spilled outside of battle, though this is not the case for menstrual blood (although I tend to avoid praying and doing rituals during that week anyway as I consider it to not be my cleanest state possible. I use this time to tend to my altar physically instead, cleaning it and reorganizing it).

Miasma is very common, everyone gets it, mostly due to plain daily life, though sometimes due to deliberate actions. Miasma can always be cleansed.

Sources of miasma include:

Death in the home - Pollutes the grieving and the home. People and home need to be cleansed before interacting with the gods or going to temple.

Birth - Because of the blood involved. Mother and baby are considered by traditional standards to be miasmic for three days postpartum and both are generally cleansed at five days postpartum.

Intercourse - Both parties are polluted by the act and must be cleansed before interacting with the gods or going to temple.

M*rder/m*nsl*ughter - This collects both miasma and agos. The m*rderer becomes miasmic, and a place can become miasmic if a m*rderer is free and unpunished there. This does not apply to blood spilled in battle.

There is a line in Hesiod's Works and Days that refers to the action of cleansing oneself of miasma before interacting with the gods. It reads, "Never pour a libation of sparkling wine to Zeus after dawn with unwashen hands, nor to others of the deathless gods."

Khernips:

Khernips means 'handwash', or 'lustral water'.

It is basically Hellenic holy water. It is used to purify ourselves of miasma before interacting with the gods.

It can be made by dropping burnt herbs or laurel leaves (bay leaves) in clean water, or by dropping a lit match in clean water. Simply washing our hands in plain water can work symbolically as well if done with the specific intention of purifying oneself.

Agos:

Agos means 'curse', 'pollution', or 'abomination'.

It can be considered as a step up to miasma and, while not quite the same, it could also be considered comparable to sin. It is brought about through deliberate actions and it is very difficult, if not impossible, to cleanse. Agos can also invoke the divine wrath of the gods, so it does involve a form of damnation

Some things that cause/invoke agos include:

Having intercourse inside a temple

Temple robbing

M*rder

Bloodshed inside a temple or on sacred grounds

Broken xenia

The refusal to properly bury a family member or a soldier (even an enemy soldier)

K*lling someone who is under the gods' protection

Offering human blood to the gods (due to its miasmic nature)

Agos is hardly as common as miasma, so it is not something the general practitioner should worry about.

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My bad dude, I didn't realize how deep and different you are. I'm sure your feelings have nothing to do with your perpetual embarrassment at the person you were three years ago.

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Dauðra Dura - IX & X In old norse religion, it is believed that if you need to find answers which cannot be found in this life, you have to seek and acquire them from the realm of the dead. The most known gate into that realm is through the graves of the glorious dead. All the pictures of this album - Doors of the dead - have been taken at various gravefields in Sweden. © Forndom

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Eartha Kitt photographed by Carl Van Vechten, c. 1954

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This is proof of something, / but what? Maybe that retribution has grown vulgar, with sin now / inevitable as summer sweat.

Kaveh Akbar, from “Against Hell”, Calling a Wolf a Wolf

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The planet can support billions but not billionaires.

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Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 6 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Commence chapter six

Feyre wakes up in faerie land, and realizes there’s been a seasonal shift. Remember how it was winter back in mortal world? Okay, now it’s warm and sunny. She attributes this to magic, on account of the smell. Note to self: magic smells.

She is crossing the grounds of a pretty estate, which seems fairly normal aside from being suspiciously deserted. At this point she realizes Beastie stole her knife while she was in her magic coma, but she is still determined to run away but, as we will recall, the horse is Loyal to Beastie and refuses to cooperate. At this point Feyre chooses to see logic, and realizes she has no food and probably wouldn’t get very far if she actually did run away.

She and Beastie enter the manor. She immediately notices there’s no dungeon, but that could be due in part to the fact that dungeons are generally downstairs somewhere. She was sort of expecting the powerful magical overlords of yore to live in like, tents or cob houses or something, so it’s a surprise to learn they have big fancy estates like normal rich people. They go into a room with a big table and she’s like “wow this is bigger than the tables I’ve seen.” She is so silly, I love her.

Feyre is surprised the faeries eat normal looking food. She doesn’t trust it, because everyone knows you can’t eat or drink in faerie land or you’ll be stuck there forever. Even though this is kind of like the whole sentence she’s just been dealt, she plans to…figure out how to survive without food until she can escape?

She is having a hard time wrapping her mind around the normalcy of this faerie manor, and how it’s really not THAT different from what she would expect from a mortal manor. Beastie chooses this time to transform into a hot young High Fae. He is wearing warrior clothes, so she establishes that he must be a warrior. He’s also wearing a sassy little masquerade mask and we’re not really sure what that’s about, but she doesn’t ask.

Beastie tells Feyre she should probably eat something, and she’s like “nice try,” but then he informs her the food is actually safe and not poison. Faeries can’t lie, so I am forced to believe him. He also tells her she can fuck off whenever she likes because she’s not a prisoner, so long as she doesn’t leave Prythian. She realizes she will probably die really quickly if she just runs off into the wilderness, so she decides to stick around and craft a mastermind plan to like, viciously murder this guy or something (I presume).

Enter faerie #2. We have a redhead in the building. Redhead bows to Beastie, which suggests either he is a servant of some sort of Beastie is someone of overall importance. Beastie fills Redhead in on the state of things, and also lets him know their wolf friend (his name was Andras, apparently) is dead. RIP to Andras.

Redhead is also wearing a masquerade mask. Is this some kind of sexy phantom of the opera thing? Redhead’s mask is a FOX mask. This is probably the author’s way of telling us he’s just a foxy little sly-guy. We also learn he has a big scar and a big gold orb eye. What in the Aemond Targaryen is going AWNNNNNN? Is this somehow related to the arrow she put through the wolf’s eye?

We learn that Fox Guy is actually called Lucien. Lucien also doubts that our skinny legend Feyre could be capable of killing Andras, and he’s super not thrilled that she’s their new adoptee. He decides to talk shit until he gets a scolding, and then after that he uses fae ability “Fake Nice” to continue pissing Feyre off.

Beastie tells Feyre she smells and calls in faerie 3, Alis the servant lady. Alis has a brown bird mask—ok what the fuck is with the masks? Is this some kind of kink? Are they going to a masked ball? When do people start fucking? Alis takes Feyre away, but Lucien and Beastie use plot device “Talk Extra Loud” to divulge some ominous foreshadowing we weren’t meant to hear. Lucien basically wants to dump Feyre off somewhere or kill her so they don’t have to deal with her. Beastie says they’re not gonna harm her because she already had a miserable life back home at the Hovel. Note to Feyre: Here’s your one chance Fancy, this is your Pretty Woman moment don’t screw it up.

Alis and the other servants implement plot device “Make the Dirty Homely Girl Hot by Giving her a Bath and Plucking Her Eyebrows.” This is Feyre’s introduction to the life of faerie luxury and honestly, it doesn’t seem so bad. Alis puts Feyre in a “velvet turquoise dress” which reminds me that turquoise is a super ugly color choice for a velvet dress but maybe that’s the point because she immediately asks for her old clothes back. Alis is like “bet” and then brings her her clothes which fell apart when the laundresses put it in water. I’m sorry but this made me cackle. Girl, just wear the ugly dress, it’s not worth it. Alis compromises and brings Feyre a new tunic pant ensemble.

Feyre describes the room she’s in and honestly it sounds like Beastie has bad taste but at least it’s not a dungeon am I right???

Alis gives Feyre some advice about her new life, and it seems like she might be a Good Guy, but she also isn’t keen on sharing too much, and basically just gives her some vague warnings that tell us “nothing is safe” and “be on your guard.”

More 2 come

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Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 5 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Commence chapter five

Beastie and Feyre take a trip into the forest. We learn that Beastie actually planned this all along, because he brought a pretty white horse for Feyre to ride. Feyre makes several notes to herself about how the horse trusts Beastie. This is author’s way of telling us he’s probably not such a bad guy. She also reminds us that he is like the same size as the horse. Note to self: horses are the undisputed standard for making size comparisons in this world.

“The Treaty forbade faeries from taking us as slaves, but—perhaps that excluded humans who’d murdered faeries.” - This seems like it would be a really bizarre clause for a Treaty, but since we know very little about this Treaty, I won’t mention that. “We’d likely go to whatever rift in the wall he’d used to get here, to steal me.” - The author is telling us this because later in the chapter Beastie decides to render her unconscious for this part, but we probably need to know how access through the wall is achieved for future plot points.

Feyre decides she isn’t really guilty about killing a faerie, and is more worried about her family, and how they’ll survive without her. It’s a reasonable fear as we know how incompetent they all are. We also learn that Prythian is ruled by seven High Lords, “beings of such unyielding power that legend claimed they could level buildings, break apart armies, and butcher you before you could blink.” Note to self: Don’t piss off these High Lord guys.

Feyre thinks about how her life is probably going to be pretty miserable going forward, although to be fair it was pretty miserable looking back, as well. She wonders whether she’ll get thrown in a dungeon. She also plots how she can murder Beastie, since her ash arrow was burned when she shot his wolf buddy. She tries asking him what sort of faerie he is, and what his name is, but he’s (unreasonably) sulking over the recent loss of his pal, so he doesn’t believe she actually cares. He decides she is asking too many questions and/or he doesn’t want her to know exactly how to get back to the escape gate later, so Feyre gets an itty bitty magic tranquilizer, and wakes up a while later in the faerie land.

I just realized how short this chapter was, okay. Well I am experiencing suspense to learn more so brb with a chapter 6 review.

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Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 4 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Commence chapter four.

“I didn’t know how the wooden hilt of my hunting knife had gotten into my hand” well if you don’t know I don’t know, either.

There is a golden-haired beast in the house. Feyre takes a second to be relieved it’s not a martax, which honestly seems like it wouldn’t be one of the more pressing thoughts a person would have in the heat of this moment, but if it’s one thing Feyre has besides BPD it’s ADD, so I digress.

“The beast had to be as large as a horse,” Taking a second to once again broach the topic of horses and whether the author has ever actually seen one. Narrator and her family are plunged into a life or death suspense scene but good news is we get some straight-to-Wattpad descriptive imagery, such as: “while his body was somewhat feline, his head was distinctly wolfish. I didn’t know what to make of the curled, elk-like horns that protruded from his head. But lion or hound or elk, there was no doubting the damage his black, daggerlike claws and yellow fangs could inflict.”

Feyre tells us that, HAD she met him alone in the woods, she would probably be scared; but since she didn’t, I’m not sure why that detail matters or why it needed to be included. “But I didn’t have room for terror, wouldn’t give it an inch of space” this is likely to the fact that we are extremely hyper-aware of how this two-room hovel has already been wizard magic Knight Bus-finagled to accommodate three adults and a cat-dog-horse beast. There is nowhere to fit conceptual human emotions such as FEAR, which is possibly why this would-be charged and high-stakes danger scene feels so calm and collected.

“Somehow, I wound up in front of my sisters” protagonist once again cedes autonomy to the forgotten gods. Beastie wants to know who the murderer is. All signs point to Feyre, as the other members of this household are pretty sedentary. “Those ridiculous wards on our threshold were as good as cobwebs against him” author does not trust readers to have media literacy here, and negates the entire purpose for introducing us to these wards a couple of chapters back by TELLING us in exact words what her foreshadowing was meant to convey. Feyre starts thinking she should have asked the mercenary how she killed that faerie. It would have been a good idea in the moment, but since it’s too late to worry about that, we probably shouldn’t.

Feyre wants to get to her bow and arrow, which is a pretty good idea except she can’t—also it took her like three hours to finally hit the completely oblivious target in the bushes in chapter 1, and since we know it took 2 of her 3 arrows to kill a pony-wolf, one can only imagine how many it will take to bring down a horse-beast. She briefly considers throwing her sister’s iron bracelet at him and then goes so far as to wonder whether an iron nail would do the trick (how she intends to make this work in the age before nail guns, I cannot imagine). Luckily she realizes these ideas are both terribly dumb and 100% guaranteed not to work, so instead she disarms herself completely by hurling a knife javelin-style across the room. Beastie, not unpredictably, uses ability “fae speed” to dodge Feyre’s bad idea. Sensing all hope is lost, the No Use Sisters start praying to the forgotten gods in the background. Long may they be…remembered?

Beastie is rattling dishes with his bellows and demanding to know who killed the wolf, and everyone plays extremely dumb, but none so much as Elain, who’s like “A wolf?” and I am genuinely convinced this response is due to the fact she has entirely forgotten the wolf that was part of the plot for the past four chapters.

Feyre cops an attitude with Beastie because she’s wearing plot armor, and even though she’s standing in front of her cowering family, her father takes this moment to speak up and check her for her sass. Men truly have the audacity. Beastie has a hard time believing this skinny legend killed his wolf friend, which…kinda valid, but he probably doesn’t know about her 3 arrows. Feyre is like “I sold your pal’s skin at the market but if I’d known he was a faerie I wouldn’t have done that.”

“You knew. You would have been more tempted to slaughter it had you known it was one of my kind.” - Beastie calls bullshit and for some reason Feyre is just like “Actually you’re right” and then reminds him how faeries are all kind of evil bloodthirsty monsters to her people. He’s like “Well you fucked up girlboss, you broke the TREATY” which we’re just now learning about.

Apparently the faeries and the mortals have some kind of treaty, and even though Feyre is like “I totally didn’t know not killing faeries without repercussions was a part of the Treaty,” she reminds us that faeries can’t lie, so he must be telling the truth, which is actually the FIRST we’re hearing of this. Writing that down for future reference.

Beastie is like “Well newsflash SWEATY it’s a life for a life” and since this was before the invention of public defendants, Feyre knows she won’t be getting a fair trial. She’s like “Ok but as a last request can you maybe kill me outside and not on the clean floor I just swept” and Beastie is like “only a lunatic would feel entitled to make requests in this situation and I kinda respect that, so how bout I DON’T kill you and just kidnap you instead?”

Apparently as long as Prythian claims her life in some kind of way it still counts, and at this point Dad speaks up and is like “What if I whittle you a new wolf friend instead?” Beastie is like no thanks and also tells him he shouldn’t be monetizing his daughter, because, like, feminist icon…uwu. Feyre realizes it’s over and she has to start giving her family instructions on how to survive without her, as they are all hugely incompetent as we will recall. She also tells sister Nesta not to marry her sweetheart because his dad is an abuser and his sons are all okay with that.

“Don’t ever come back,” my father said, releasing my hands to shake me by the shoulders. “Feyre.” He stumbled over my name, his throat bobbing. “You go somewhere new—and you make a name for yourself.” - So Dad comes out of left field here and tells Feyre not to come back, and he kind of makes it sound like she’s moving to the west coast to pursue her dream of being an actress, instead of being forcibly kidnapped by some big faerie monster beast. Beastie is like “This chapter has gone on for a bit it’s time to leave.” And now our protagonist is makin’ her way downtown, walkin’ fast—I digress.

I did not think there was going to be a rival for chapter one but this chapter…this chapter was a mess. Like, whereas the first chapter was way too much of nothing happening, this chapter has a LOT of things happening, but is structurally unsound and…full of weak imagery that should probably have gone back to the drawing board. At least my interest remains piqued.

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Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 3 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Commence chapter 3

The dynamic trio are goin’ on a road trip. No actually they’re just walking to the other side of the village. Now that I have a little context, I know that Nesta and Elain are just upper east side it-girls who fell on hard times and can’t seem to acclimate to the humiliating new lifestyle of being poor, and my only thought is: we should do this to more rich girls.

So, Patty and Selma think they’re too good to walk along the dirty cart road, but who’s really surprised considering these two are…mostly terrible. We learn that Nesta actually did get up and chop wood this morning, even after her refusal in the last chapter. Is this…is this a redeeming quality for sister Nesta??? Feyre immediately follows this up with the suspicion that this was simply so she could leech some coin from her sister’s pony-wolf pelt, and I believe her, because why would she lie?

Feyre has a flashback to a time when they weren’t too poor for spices, and just as she’s about to suggest they indulge for old time’s sake they get stopped by a group of religious fanatics (never a good sign in a fantasy world). Not sure whether these guys are more Jehovah Witness or Manson Family, but they call themselves “Children of the Blessed.” Turns out they worship the High Fae. Given what we know about the High Fae thus far, that seems unwise. Narrator agrees.

The implication here is that these guys just sort of blindly revere the High Fae, even though it seems like they aren’t actually directly affiliated with them. Their objective seems to be just…spreading the word that they are good and just and hoping they get kidnapped and smuggled over the border??? I’m gonna remain nonpartisan but I can’t help but notice the Children of the Blessed are wearing real silver and the haters aren’t so…maybe we should hear these guys out.

Head acolyte is persistent, but Nesta goes full Blair Waldorf on her, and even though she thinks her sister’s approach is a bit cunty, Feyre chooses not to intervene. We learn that a bunch of the townsfolk, including Nesta, wear iron jewelry to deter the Fae. Other onlookers get involved presumably because the Children jingle wherever they walk, and the peanut gallery just starts launching epithets. “Faerie-loving whore” sounds like my kind of job title, but I digress. Head acolyte is like, “Noooo u guys got it all twisted, my cousin has a friend who is currently over in the faerie realm living it up right now as we speak.” Nobody believes this. Acolyte’s cousin’s friend is probably dead.

Feyre takes note of how clean and well-dressed these fanatics are, which begs the question, who is FUNDING these guys? More importantly, it brings us back to a recurrent theme where she associates qualities like ignorance and ineptitude with PURITY. Remember how just last chapter she points out how clean the faces of her sister and father are? We see this again in the way she notes the clean faces of these religious zealots. Her inner monologue tells us she doesn’t AGREE with them, she’s like “well everyone knows they’re worshiping OVERLORDS, not gods” but here again she prefers her pedestal where she alone knows the truth.

This chapter’s other big overarching theme is about challenging the status quo. We have the cult of zealots, demonized for worshiping the Fae, which obviously goes against everything we know to be sensible and sane. Next we have Feyre, who takes a risk and approaches the least trustworthy option when selling her pelts (possibly due in part to the fact that the other two vendors kind of openly dismiss her before she has time to approach them). Finally we have the mercenary, who breaks tradition by Not Being a Bad Guy (and also not lowballing her).

This chapter reinforces the idea that not only is Feyre brave, she’s also nonjudgmental, in a way her sisters and most of the other people in the village are not. And it pays off, in this instance. She also has a considerable bit of pride; she is reluctant to accept the mercenary’s pay because she feels it’s more an act of charity, and she tries to balance the scales by throwing in some of her dad’s wood carvings, but—as we discussed before—there’s like zero demand for these things and she literally can’t even give them away.

The mercenary imparts us with old school RPG NPC wisdom, by sharing the dangers she’s had firsthand with the Fae, teaching us what a martax is, and showing off a badass battle scar. We learn that this region, despite standing right on the borders of faerie land, has no standing army to defend itself against this sort of thing.

We are interrupted by Nesta dragging Feyre away and telling her not to talk to mercenaries because they’re dangerous brutes. This seems kind of like the whole point (and also a necessary quality) of a mercenary, but then we learn Nesta and Elain actually got ROBBED by one of those a while back. To be fair, Nesta and Elain both kind of suck, so I can’t say I blame them too much.

There’s a chance run-in with Isaac and we learn this kind of awkward clumsy halfhearted thing they have going on is awkward clumsy and halfhearted. They plan a barnyard romp for later by like, initiating the secret head nod, but tragically I’m not sure whether they actually get to have said romp because after dinner the narrator and her terrible family become the victims of a home invasion. Stay tuned for more on THAT.

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Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 2 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Commence Chapter Two

Even though just a few minutes ago narrator gave us that whole concerning spiel about how her world has no color in it anymore, the moment something good finally happened her world is "a living painting" once again. This is textbook catastrophizing, and I will say it again: protagonist absolutely has BPD. I love this, because it makes her more relatable as a heroine. But also...seek therapy, please. There is a less compelling counter-argument to be made for the possibility that she's simply suffering hallucinations in color due to starvation and/or hypothermia, but overall I'm feeling confident about my prognosis.

In chapter one narrator foreshadowed her two sisters as these sort of...2D villains...but now she's walking into the house and catches their muffled talking from inside and she's like (paraphrasingly), "I don't actually need to hear what they're saying to know it's something stupid about like boys or ribbons" which is so cunty but I love it. Like, this sort of knee-jerk condescension where she minimizes them to silly, shallow, frivolous little idiots without even HEARING them...chef's kiss. It's this implication that our protagonist isn't such a black and white instrument of morality that makes her character more likable in my mind.

She extends this same flavor of contempt to their father in the very next paragraph, because it turns out he's also wildly incompetent, and gullible to boot. We learn that this is a combination of their family's unfortunate financial situation, a smattering of PTSD (courtesy of some kind of evil banker crony guys attacking and crippling him), and what reeks of depression-induced executive dysfunction. Dad has basically fucked off and given up, sisters are essentially useless.

Verdict: there's definitely some weaponized incompetence going on in this household, and everyone just assumes narrator is going to pick up the slack (she does). She also vaguely hints at the fact that she's only DOING it because she has to. Reader (me) is not surprised to hear this. Narrator takes promises very seriously, and is constantly burdened by this promise she made to their dying mother. Their dying mother knew to place this burden on narrator, because...well...quite frankly the rest of the household fucking sucks. Dad is fruitlessly chasing the "someday I'll be rich" dragon, courtesy of the book's real-world parallel of our capitalistic brainwashed poverty regime; he is doing little wood carvings no one fucking wants because he's a freelance whittler in a destitute village where nobody can AFFORD HIS SILLY CURIO CURIOSITIES. Sister Elain is pretty and brainless and probably just needs to marry a rich man with a big garden (she loves flowers). Obviously this one is Dad's favorite, which is just an extra sting to the narrator's piling list of injustices. Sister Nesta is...a cunt? There's a line about how she deliberately places Dad's cane out of his reach, which is funny but also, what the fuck? This could also be some manifestation of her just being really unsatisfied with his mediocre parenting, which is pretty understandable in retrospect.

This chapter is...better than the first. Thank the forgotten gods. Author struggles with the concept of nuance. This is less of an issue for the narrator, because the author overtells everything the narrator thinks and feels (to an extreme degree); but once we are introduced to characters whose perspectives we aren't given directly, it becomes a problem. For example, I know I'm not supposed to hate the narrator's sisters. The only reason I know this is because the narrator has explained to me in exact words that SHE doesn't hate them. But are they WRITTEN as irredeemable villains? Yes, absolutely. Can I forgive the fact that they don't notice the narrator is covered in blood, or offer to help with any of the meal prep, but immediately both jump to what she can buy for them with the money she gets from the wolf pelt? No. But I get the sense that I'm supposed to, in that EVENTUALLY the narrator will insist that I root for them.

If the author had chosen to make the sisters CHILDREN, I would feel a lot differently here, because, despite being the youngest child, the narrator is shouldering the brunt of the household's emotional and financial needs. She promised her dying mother she would play mother once she was gone, which...is not fair to her, obviously...and now I SEE why she took 3 years to leave the forest and has a branching inner monologue that rivals Homer's Odyssey and a very pronounced, undiagnosed borderline personality disorder. They do SEE her as the mother of the household. But considering the narrator is 19, and they are both OLDER than she is, their lack of empathy just makes them look like fucking monsters. Do I hate them? Yes, I've been urging narrator to burn her house down with her entire family inside since I started reading this chapter.

I'm thinking there is probably some significance to the faerie wards on the threshold, but I also just generally like the implication that even in this world of forgotten gods you still get a bit of good old-fashioned fundamentalist inspired fear-mongering. I also like that this is lore-accurate based on the way Celtic fairy faith was very much driven by a similar fear. Families were constantly seeking ways to defend themselves against the fae, be it with religious symbols or iron or salt or open scissors above a newborn's crib. This is why you don't keep welcome mats on the doorstep, this is why you need protection runes and throw your infant in the fireplace if you suspect it might be a faerie changeling. Some of it seems so silly, yes, but it does conjure up a sense of real fear, and how it is deeply-ingrained into the MORTAL side of this book's world, but we also see where the protagonist deliberately separates herself from the DELUSION of it. She's like, "Yeah these wards are obviously fake, everyone knows we don't have magic, we can't even hope to defend ourselves against the power of the High Fae." Protagonist is a realist; she is not indoctrinated by the false sense of security provided by these carvings on the threshold. It is very significant that narrator CHOOSES not to weaponize this secular understanding of the world around her, she CHOOSES to let her father live in this naive bubble he's created for himself. Just like she acknowledges the blind, shallow, selfish nature of her sisters but CHOOSES not to confront and unpack those issues. It's the most multi-faceted element we've gotten of this heroine thus far, because we know now that only part of this is out of kindness and empathy. The other part of her ENJOYS the advantage she has over her family members. They ARE absolutely inept, incompetent, naive, shallow, blind, shackled sheep in a pen, and narrator gets some small satisfaction from that. She is smarter than they are. She is more responsible than they are. She spares them the burden of being held to a higher standard because it keeps her on this pedestal, and the resulting sense of self-worth is literally ALL she has, that is her ONLY sense of self-worth, no matter how she may resent it. These two halves of her personality are held together by obligation and guilt. It's not that she ENJOYS playing mother to a grown man and two grown women; she feels like she has to, and at this point, it's all she knows HOW to do.

Narrator’s name is Feyre. I had a hunch because I am both clever and wise, but it’s nice to finally receive confirmation. Author makes certain to include pronunciation directly after, because author realizes most readers will not skip to the pronunciation guide at the end of the book.

In short, things I do like: The deepening of the story’s morally gray protagonist, the impending burden of responsibility versus guilt, the name “Feyre,” a deeply fearful human settlement built on the outskirts of faerie territory, whose only line of defense from their hostile neighbors is…ineffectual carvings in the windows (and probably like bits of iron or something), details like the brassy hair narrator shares with her sisters—juxtaposed by the disparity of things like eye color, and how her sisters and father all have a “clean” face—while she comes home, the contrarian, covered in blood,

Things I don’t like: lack of effectual character development for narrator’s sisters and father, the way two people in the same two-room house asked narrator the same dumb question about “where she got” the two animals she very obviously hunted and skinned herself, author’s hyperbolic over-use of adjectives, and this sentence: “My father’s deep rumble came from the fire.”

[thesylphroad]

Inner Monologue Shitpost Breakdown A.K.A. Review of Chapter 1 of "A Court of Thorns and Roses"

Everyone on TikTok is going batshit crazy about this book series, so as a very late-to-the-program sheep, I must join the wave. My credentials are that I'm obsessed with faerie lore and I read a lot of AO3 fanfic so I'm pretty well qualified to review what I am assured is "faerie smut." There better be faeries and fucking or I will sue.

Commence Chapter One.

We meet the book's narrator, Girl in Forest. She has wandered too far into the forest (which, like, never a good sign in fantasy). Her family is starving, so she is hunting for deer. We get some ominous foreshadowing about both giant wolves and the supernatural ilk that seems to freely wander out of Prythian, which is the name for the "faerie lands." Right away it sounds like this world will adhere to a physical barrier between realms (thank god, I hate that dimension jumping bullshit). Kudos to the author for spelling faerie with the "e' because that's obviously the superior way to spell it.

Anyway, moving on, this girl is cold, and she tells us as much, and then immediately launches into an existential follow up: "A shudder skittered down my spine at the thought, and I shoved it away, focusing on my surroundings, on the task ahead. That was all I could do, all I'd been able to do for years: focus on surviving the week, the day, the hour ahead." Immediately I'm like, okay so I think she has BPD. Anyway narrator is simply a girlboss, in what almost seems like a Hunger Games type backdrop. Girls just wanna survive their dystopian medieval-esque? era frozen hellscape. Please god don't let this be a YA series. Anyway, author maybe forgot the "show don't tell" rule, but I'm full of forgiveness so I won't hold it against her.

Narrator reminds us (me?) she is in a tree, which is good because I'd forgotten that detail. Never mind, in the next sentence she informs me she is getting off the tree. We already know she's like, survival-centric, which gives us a good idea as to her social status (and thus her likely financial class) but she adds in a detail about her fraying boots so we know for sure she's no uptown girl. Protagonist is probably like, humble and selfless and all that.

Okay, so she's got a few hours of daylight left and now she's really harping on the giant wolves rumor, and like, how they're traveling in groups (as wolves are wont to do). But more sinister still, she shares this little detail: "Not to mention whispers of strange folk spotted in the area, tall and eerie and deadly." I have bad news for the narrator after reading the follow-up sentence: "ANYTHING BUT FAERIES." I have a sneaking hunch it might be faeries, since like, this is the forest and the forest leads directly into the faerie lands as aforementioned.

We get some lore for the road, about "long-forgotten gods," whom the hunters are still praying to, for some reason. I guess when you need a crutch you need a crutch, right? She goes on to explain that she's actually a couple of days away from the "immortal border of Prythian," and this is why they've been "spared an attack." I will assume these are hostile invader faeries until otherwise advised.

Oh no, narrator's family finished their last loaf of bread yesterday, which means they are really banking on narrator to come through with a kill. Narrator is like, the breadwinner, except instead of bread it's deer. Which, like, not to be rude but this is fatherless behavior, where is the dad who's supposed to be crunching through the snow with her right now? Narrator is like (paraphrasingly), "But also I'd rather starve than be wolf food. Or faerie food." OK, DO THE FAERIES EAT HUMAN FLESH? More on that later, I trust she will not forget to expand on this detail, as author is very good at expanding on…every single detail. "Not that there was much of me to feast on," narrator adds (coyly).

Note to self: narrator is a skinny legend.

Okay, homegirl definitely has some self-worth issues to work through here, which furthers my BPD suspicion. I mean she's like, traveling deeper into the forest, and the whole time she's playing out this scenario where she comes back empty-handed and her family is like, disappointed or angry or something. She's in the winter of her life, and the wolves she meets along the way are her only…I can stop.

Moving on, narrator is waiting and hoping. Good to hear she still has hope, because she definitely just told us she didn't exactly have that. Interesting detail to note is this sentence where she's like "Too many families had already started begging for me to hope for handouts from the wealthier townsfolk." Book world is presumably also in a recession, and they're probably relying on the same age-old trickle down politics pyramid scheme.  I'm on page 19 and protagonist is getting deeply troubling in her existential inner monologue. Like, not only is her life kinda crappy, narrator actually feels like her world has no color. She is in her 2016 Tumblr era. She cannot stop listening to that Arctic Monkeys album. Like, not only is the landscape bleak (could be a little bit of seasonal depression rearing its ugly head here) but this also applies to like, the luxuries of jeweled brooches and expensive silk fabric. I think this is meant to imply that she maybe at one point enjoyed these luxuries, like maybe she is New Poor. You know how there's New Money and Old Money, and there's also New Poor and Old Poor. I think this lifestyle is newly acquired, if that makes sense. She cranks it up a notch by telling us she sometimes "would even indulge in envisioning a day when my sisters were married and it was only me and Father, with enough food to go around, enough money to buy some paint." Okay, okay, actually this makes sense: narrator is an artist. A real Barbara Ross with the paints, if you will; so it makes sense that she sees the world in terms of COLOR. It's interesting to consider that, in these sort of unspecified back-in-the olden days societies there was probably a good deal of like, inter-family resentment when parents just kept popping out kids they couldn't feed, and we see that evidenced here. Narrator resents her sisters, and since she mentioned they're both OLDER than she is and neither one of them are traipsing through the forest with her right now, I can kind of sympathize. I also just randomly remembered that part of this book is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and those old fairy tales love a good "shitty sibling" or "shitty step-parent" motif, so this tracks. 

Narrator admits that, while she hasn't admired any beauty in the world in like forever, she is currently admiring this beautiful winter light on the snow even though she is super miserable and cold (also starving). Narrator is a real contradiction. We get a cute little tidbit about some guy called Isaac Hale (they fuck). She's like, a cool girl, though, so it's more like romps in the decrepit barn, and not anything serious. "Hungry and empty and sometimes cruel, but never lovely" is a real as fuck way to describe a no-strings hook-up. I like that. 

"The howling wind calmed into a soft sighing." Okay, back to that "show don't tell" rule, because I'm bored of the snow at this point. I have some serious questions about the editor who let "the lethal, gentle beauty of the snow" slip through to publication, but carrying on. We get this recurring reminder that the protagonist is "peering through thorns" which seems relevant since it ties back into the title and all, or maybe it's just an allusion to the thorny lifestyle girlboss leads, I don't know yet. Will follow-up on this. 

FINALLY a wild plot device appears, and a deer spawns in the clearing ahead of narrator. Deer is eating tree bark, narrator is like "This deer is not too scrawny to kill." Narrator should remember the old adage "Beggars can't be choosers." She also adds that this deer could sustain her family for like a week, probably. I'm not a hunter myself, so no comment, but I believe her because why would she lie? Protagonist really puts off the whole ACTUALLY firing the arrow process, distracted by her maladaptive daydreaming about what she's going to do with all the meat and the deer hide if and when she ever shoots the damn thing. She's also like, "One of my sisters needs a cloak and the other sister is an if u got it I WONT it type of girl" which, like, stay focused girly, the deer is STILL ALIVE. 

Fuck, okay, now there's some golden eyes shining across the way. This is probably because you took so damn long to kill the deer, and now there's one of those tall faerie things in the bushes!!! 

Nobody panic it's just a wolf. Fun fact: more people get attacked by deer every year than wolves. Wolves are super non-aggressive towards humans, unless they're cornered or feel threatened. Just keep that in mind if you're going to develop a fantasy RPG and wolves are one of the hordes of monsters you include in the wilds.

OK never mind narrator is like, "He was enormous--the size of a pony." CUT THE TAPE. CUT THE FUCKING TAPE. Does…does the author know how big ponies are? Ponies are just small horses, okay, some ponies are like 14 hands high at the shoulder that's almost five feet tall. THAT'S ALMOST FIVE FEET TALL THAT IS TALLER THAN ME. Holy fuck pony-sized wolf is "unnaturally stealthy." Who buffed the wolves in this world? Okay, is it a werewolf? I thought this was a faerie book.

I actually hadn't considered that the wolf might be a faerie, but she suddenly foreshadows that this is a possibility, and I get the feeling author isn't super great with subtletly, so I'm thinking there's a good chance it's a faerie. A wolf faerie. Equine-sized. 

"If he was a faerie, I should already be running" okay how do we know it's a boy wolf? Note to self: wolf faerie is obviously packing. I'm sorry I still can't get over the size thing, like I'm just imagining a pony-sized wolf, and all I can think is that you should absolutely be running at that detail alone. Like, this is clearly some kind of fucked up, genetically maximized wolf. 

Narrator has just explained how she's kind of really alone in the world and her family sucks and the rich people won't help the begging poor folk, but now she's like "Should I help my village and kill this big wolf?" Um, how about no? How about you're the only bitch in this forest right now and are you forgetting that this thing is the size of a small horse?

Girlboss…proceeds to waste an ungodly amount of time wondering whether the wolf is a wolf or something more than a wolf, but the point here is that SHE THEN EXPLAINS SHE ONLY HAS THREE FUCKING ARROWS AGAINST A WOLF THE SIZE OF A SMALL HORSE. Okay, so, I took a deep breath. I am putting my trust in the assumption that narrator is wearing plot armor, but the odds are SOOOOO not in her favor right now.

We learn that the girl has 2 regular arrows and 1 ASH arrow. Ash is supposed to be a faerie killer, according to the narrator. Which is interesting because in Celtic faerie lore ash is actually one of the three sacred trees of the faerie folk, but carry on. Okay, so I'm learning that ash trees are rare in this world. I'm writing that down. This is gonna be the dragonglass of this book series, isn't it? I'm calling it now.

 So it's not that I'm not intrigued but the author is really telling way too much and showing way too little. Protagonist proceeds to like, wonder whether her ash arrow is even REAL. Because like, the counterfeit ash market is a real problem in the village. It could be fake, she's had it for three years, why the fuck has it taken you 3 years to use one of your 3 arrows? I just…never mind. She finally draws the arrow like 8 paragraphs later, but even as her chest starts to ache, she's like, I should get sidetracked again wondering whether this big ass giant ass horse-sized ass WOLF is alone. Girl, I am praying to the forgotten gods for your ass that it IS.

Oh my god, I can't believe I'm typing this but narrator goes on another side quest explaining how she's never faced a wolf before. She seriously needs an Adderall prescription this is insane. "I'd thought it made me lucky--even blessed" GIRL BLESSED BY WHO YALL DON'T REMEMBER YOUR OWN GODS. Jesus. Now she's like, lol idk where to HIT IT. Just hit it. For god's sake. Hit it already. She reminds us one more time she only has the one ash arrow. I think I have to kill the wolf myself at this point. 

Protagonist has already decided for herself it's an animal and not a faerie, but now she's suddenly like, "oh no what if there IS a faerie heart pounding in there?" It will die of old age before you shoot the fucking ash arrow, so I would not worry too much.The wolf is like, unnaturally stealthy but then two paragraphs later it snaps a twig but it's okay because the deer is stupid and just looks in the other direction. How fucking long has this deer been eating bark off this same tree? I feel aged. I feel evolved.

"If I judged wrongly, my life wasn't the only one that would be lost." What the fuck does that mean? Like, if you shoot the wolf and don't kill the wolf it will probably kill you, and if you sit here and wait for spring to come the wolf might kill the deer. What does this mean? I am so confused. I am so overstimulated. Help?

Finally, at long last, can we get a round of applause, narrator shoots the wolf. She waits for the wolf to kill the deer first. She did a lot of deliberating about where to hit the wolf only to hit it in the side, which…statistically speaking that's not one of the more lethal regions to puncture, but that's okay because this is her first wolf, remember? I would like some sort of compensation for having to read this sentence: "He barked in pain, releasing the doe's neck as his blood spewed on the snow--so ruby bright." So ruby bright?????? SO RUBY BRIGHT??????

Ugh.

I really do wanna like this book, okay, did I mention I spent $84 for the hardcover boxset of this series at Target? Okay, well I did, so I'm going to be really disappointed if they suck, because like, TikTok girlies put me on. But I have to be honest this chapter reads like a first draft.

Next up the wolf is just standing there, looking at the narrator. The ash arrow is "protruding so vulgarly" from his side. Gods help me. Okay she is definitely starting to think the wolf is like, sentient. But in a human way. Or like, does that mean a faerie way? Are we sure this isn't a werewolf? She fires a second arrow through his eye, which like, cheap shot considering but go off I guess. Now the wolf is finally laying down. He's still like twitching and whatnot, and the narrator is like "Impossible--he should be dead, not dying!" Well dying is a process, okay, and isn't this your first wolf? Don't get cocky. She describes the blood on the snow some more, and then wonders whether dying from an arrow through the eye is super painful, or maybe he's just trying to "shove death away." My guess is probably yes. Yes to both. The snow is continuing to fall. She decides once more that he is a wolf. Not a faerie. She's honestly just trying to convince herself at this point, I don't even care anymore.

She starts thinking about how another predator could smell the blood while she's cleaning her arrows off, and I'm praying to the forgotten gods that this doesn't happen because at this point I know it has to be dark because it's been several hours in the forest and PLEASE JUST GO HOME WITH YOUR WOLF AND YOUR DEER. I just remembered she has to carry these two carcasses back home and she's just a skinny legend as we learned earlier in the chapter. How is she gonna do that, I wonder? Okay, so the answer is she skins the wolf pelt and just carries the whole deer carcass. Girlboss moment. As she's leaving, she's like "wow really wish I could feel sorry for this wolf" even though she kind of already did wonder whether it was in pain or not that was a whole thing like 3 paragraphs back.

I actually really like the closing sentence, "But this was the forest, and it was winter." It hit me right in the "But winter is coming" feels.

Um, overall, I have to say, well I have to say what the fuck but I'm going to keep reading because I heard there was gonna be fucking. So um, yeah. Stay tuned I guess if anyone wants to read my chapter 2 review.

[thesylphroad]

You are in her DMs, I'm getting a bath ready for when she comes back covered in the blood of others. We are not the same.

[thesylphroad]

i want to be gentle but im so full of anger

[thesylphroad]

Tumblr post from the 19th century: I love you laudanum I love you opium I love you coca I love you absinthe