thetiredprometheus

[thetiredprometheus]

I know we want the Fingolfin v Morgoth duel to be cool or whatever but I think it should be akin to me trying to kill a cockroach (filled with lots of screaming, jumping around, wild bashing of small creature smashing object, and ending in agony and tears)

[thetiredprometheus]

things about middle-earth that sound fake to people who haven't read the silmarillion

the earth was flat until some people pissed off god enough that he punched it round

the sun and moon used to be trees, but a big spider ate them

elves even being in middle-earth can be traced back to one (1) dude hating that people mispronounced his mom's name

sauron is a werewolf

elrond's biological parents are a star and a bird now

there's a sexy vampire lady

fighting a balrog barehanded is so cool it'll get you reincarnated right away even if there isn't a current big crisis going on (sorry gandalf, glorfindel just did it better)

satan got banned from heaven for playing his own music too loud

if you were intense enough in life, when you die, you might literally explode

[thetiredprometheus]

Feanorian Week Day Three- the Hunts of Celegorm

[thetiredprometheus]

i was bored okay

[thetiredprometheus]

[thetiredprometheus]

Happy Moonlanding day y'all!

[thetiredprometheus]

Mandos put Curufin and Celegorm in separated chambers in his halls because their co dependency would make healing impossible for both.

Curufin requested a formal conference with Mandos. Then he declared that he had fully processed the trauma of death and Celegorm was fine too.

He was in Mandos for a day.

[thetiredprometheus]

What's Maglor been up to this whole time, you ask?

And thus began the Divine Crab Lore

[thetiredprometheus]

“My limbs now tremble and my eyes swim with the remembrance; but then a resistless, and almost frantic, impulse urged me forward; I seemed to have lost all soul or sensation but for this one pursuit.”

Victor's small moment of joy, before he realises what he's done

Prints

Referenced, of course, from the wonderful work on Bernie Wrightson

[thetiredprometheus]

New contender for the “most out-of-pocket reaction to something I drew” award that I woke up to after I made the mistake of posting my Elrond drawing to the family groupchat: my (Muslim) dad and (Jewish with a sprinkle of Catholicism) mum resurrecting the decade-old argument they’ve had since the moment the Hobbit films came out, as to whether Thorin Oakenshield, who is neither depicted in the drawing nor particularly relevant to Elrond, is Muslim or Jewish.

His position is that with that kind of beard-styling, reliance on gold-economy and implied usage of eyeliner, Thorin is not only Muslim but a citizen of the Gulf States, and probably owns a gold souk in Abu Dhabi. My mother’s position is that he looks “exactly like Jesus” with his merry band of apostles, and Jesus and his apostles were, after all, Jewish. Don’t ask me what Bilbo is supposed to be in this equation, probably Mary Magdalene idk.

My brother has decided to join the fray with his devil’s advocate position that “technically all three are essentially the same religion in different fonts and colours so there’s nothing stopping Thorin from being the holy trinity of Muslim, Jewish and Catholic”. Nobody has thus far paid any attention to me pointing out that neither Islam nor Judaism actually exist in the world of The Hobbit films.

My mother has offered to bring in my Pentecostal theology-degree uncle as an adjudicator and my father has rightly pointed out that he would not be a neutral third party because said uncle has historically been known to do some really remarkable things with the English language to call my father a jihadi goatfucker who should go to Pakistan without actually calling him a jihadi goatfucker who should go to Pakistan.

TLDR: I will never draw Elrond again.

[thetiredprometheus]

As much as I want to give Feanor shit for being such a pos to the Valar it really is understandable because it really does feel like you're being targeted specifically when there's only ever been two recorded deaths in the Undying Lands and both of them are your parents. Like at that point it would seem like the universe was out to get him

[thetiredprometheus]

Curufin and Celegorm WIP But they don't look fabulous

[thetiredprometheus]

no one told me Crime and Punishment was a comedy

[thetiredprometheus]

One of my favourite dynamics (romantic or platonic) is distinguished villain x chaotic villain

Like character a is a calculating manipulating bitch who has a 10 years masterplan, is always 100 steps ahead of you and will compliment your outfit while poisoning your tea

And character b is a little ball of energy who has never made a calculated decision in their life and has absolutely no impulse control

"Why did you set that house on fire?"

"Because I felt like it!"

"THAT'S OUR HOUSE!"

[thetiredprometheus]

Y'know how everyone said Galadriel vs Luthien was going to be the bloodiest fight of @pollkien s sexywoman contest?

[thetiredprometheus]

listen, I shit on the English language a lot. But snug as a bug in a rug? 10/10 expression. I'm still not entirely sure what it means but I love saying it